We Gotta Thing - Exploring Non-Monogamy
Opening Your Sexual Boundaries Together
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Episode 160: More Than Monogamy Documentary- An Interview with the Creators
08/12/2026
Episode 160: More Than Monogamy Documentary- An Interview with the Creators
Sexuality is complex. Sexuality is diverse. Sexuality is More Than Monogamy. More Than Monogamy is a feature-length documentary film about non-monogamy, polyamory, open relationships, swinging, kink, and ethical non-monogamy. The film explores the many relationship structures that exist beyond traditional monogamy, often referred to collectively as “The Lifestyle.” Combining real-life experiences with expert insight, this sexuality and relationships documentary is designed to be both educational and entertaining, offering clear explanations of modern relationship dynamics. The film examines why non-monogamous relationships can be deeply fulfilling for some individuals and couples—while also acknowledging why they may not be the right fit for everyone. More Than Monogamy features in-depth interviews with leading experts in human sexuality, relationship psychology, sex education, and intimacy, including: Dr. Justin Lehmiller – sex researcher and author Dr. Liz Powell – licensed psychologist and relationship expert Kevin A. Patterson – writer and educator on race, sexuality, and polyamory Kitty Chambliss – author, certified coach, and relationship expert Billy Procida – podcast host and sexuality commentator Kenneth Play – intimacy coach and sex-positive educator Dirty Lola – sex educator and media personality Through honest conversations and accessible storytelling, the film breaks down common myths surrounding polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, kink, and open relationships, while encouraging viewers to think critically about love, commitment, communication, and consent. Whether you are curious about non-monogamy, already part of the lifestyle, or simply interested in learning more about modern relationships and sexuality, More Than Monogamy serves as an informative, respectful, and judgment-free introduction. The Film Our Social media can be found on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok @morethanmonogamyfilm Dillon's work can be found here and his socials are @all.the.birds.film Spark Erotic Work can be found here for a promo code to try the for three months! Book your here Music used with permission from :
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Episode 159: So You Think You Want to Kink?
07/31/2026
Episode 159: So You Think You Want to Kink?
Kink is often misunderstood, wrapped in myths, stereotypes, and cultural taboos that obscure what it's really about. In this episode, we unpack what kink is—and just as importantly, what it isn't. From broad definitions of BDSM and the idea that kink is simply "whatever is taboo for you," we explore why modern media often gets it wrong by focusing on shock value while overlooking the foundations of communication, consent, negotiation, safety, and aftercare. We'll also challenge common misconceptions that kink is abusive, anti-feminist, or only about pain. Theresa from Expansive Connection will help us break down the different elements of BDSM and explain how many forms of play overlap, emphasizing that the labels matter far less than the connection and experience they create. Whether you're simply curious or already exploring, understanding the diversity of kink opens the door to seeing it through a much more informed and compassionate lens. Most importantly, we'll discuss why so many couples and consensually non-monogamous relationships find value in exploring kink. Join us as we explore how embracing curiosity and authenticity can deepen intimacy, strengthen connection, and remind us that desire isn't something to fear—it's an opportunity to grow together. Below are resources that referenced during this podcast: - The Erotic Blueprints, Miss Jaiya: - Midori: - NCSF (National Coalition for Sexual Freedom): - NOW (National Organization for Women): - Journal of Sexual Medicine 2008 study "Demographic and Psychosocial Features of Participants in BDSM": - Journal of Homosexuality 2006 study "Understanding Sadomasochism: An Empirical Examination of Four Perspectives":
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Episode 158: Taking One for the Team
07/22/2026
Episode 158: Taking One for the Team
The phrase "taking one for the team" is often treated as a hard boundary in ethical non-monogamy, but we think the reality is far more nuanced. For us, attraction is rarely determined by physical appearance alone. Decisions about whether to pursue a connection are influenced by a combination of factors including chemistry, personality, intelligence, behavior, relationship dynamics, safety, sobriety, and sometimes that unexplainable "ick" factor. We also discuss whether there are times when "taking one for the team" can actually be a positive experience. When you feel emotionally and physically safe, genuinely enjoy someone's company, and trust a couple you've come to know, a lack of immediate physical attraction or chemistry doesn't necessarily have to end the conversation. By keeping an open mind, couples may discover rewarding experiences and relationships they otherwise would have overlooked. Ultimately, deciding whether to play should always be a mutual decision made without pressure, guilt, or obligation—and any "no" should be accepted graciously and without lingering consequences. We believe there is a spectrum between holding out for the elusive perfect four-way connection and feeling obligated to "take one for the team." Mentioned in this episode: for a promo code to try the for three months! with Mr Jones cancer story Book your here Music used with permission from : documentary
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Episode 157: Erotic Compatibility and Non-Monogamy
06/24/2026
Episode 157: Erotic Compatibility and Non-Monogamy
What if the key to greater pleasure, connection, and fulfillment is understanding your unique erotic wiring? In this episode, we explore the Erotic Blueprints™, a framework developed by somatic sexologist Jaiya that helps explain the different ways people experience desire, arousal, and intimacy. We unpack the five Erotic Blueprints—Energetic, Sensual, Sexual, Kinky, and Shapeshifter—and explore how each type experiences pleasure differently. We also share how this framework has become a valuable tool for relationships and individuals. Time and again, we've watched people experience powerful "aha" moments as they discover why certain experiences excite them, why others don't, and where misunderstandings with partners may be coming from. Understanding your blueprint can remove shame, increase self-awareness, and provide a new language for discussing desire, boundaries, and pleasure. We also share our own blueprint profiles and discuss how different types can learn to better understand and connect with one another. Finally, we explore how Erotic Blueprints can enrich experiences within ethical non-monogamy and the lifestyle. The goal isn't to put yourself in a box, but to better understand your erotic "home" while remaining curious about other ways of experiencing pleasure. By learning each other's unique wiring, couples can expand their erotic vocabulary, deepen connection, and create more meaningful experiences together. Mentioned in this episode: for a promo code to try the for three months! Book your here Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Music used with permission from :
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Episode 156: Opening the Circle
05/26/2026
Episode 156: Opening the Circle
In this episode, Dr Mitch from Expansive Connection joins us as we explore the powerful idea of “Opening the Circle” — the human need to feel welcomed, included, and connected. We talk about how the first question most people ask when entering any new environment isn’t “What’s going on here?” but “Do I belong here?” From friendships to community to ethical non-monogamy, creating spaces where people feel seen and valued can change lives. We also share personal stories from our own journey in the lifestyle and the people who intentionally “opened the circle” for us through kindness, mentorship, hospitality, and connection. Along the way, we reflect on some of the challenges that can prevent true inclusion — competitiveness, scarcity mentality, ageism, and prioritizing physical connection over relational connection. Finally, we discuss practical ways to “open the circle” in everyday life: noticing those on the margins, creating emotional safety, welcoming newcomers, and embracing people who are different from us. Whether in friendships, relationships, or community spaces, meaningful connection starts when someone chooses to make room for “one more person.” We hope this conversation inspires you to think about who in your world may simply need an invitation, a kind word, or a reminder that they belong! Mentioned in this episode: for a promo code to try the for three months! Book your here Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites Music used with permission from :
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Episode 155: Redefining the Swinging Lifestyle
05/18/2026
Episode 155: Redefining the Swinging Lifestyle
In this episode we are reframing the traditional concept of “swinging” by moving away from labels that feel intimidating or misleading and instead embracing the broader concept of ethical non-monogamy. While the term “swinger” often implies casual sex with others and the word “lifestyle” is vague and overused, ethical non-monogamy better captures what you actually explore: intentional relationships with open boundaries that prioritize your primary partnership while allowing varying levels of intimacy with others. This shift reflects how modern relationships are evolving and becoming more open and mainstream. By reframing the conversation, this episode aims to make the space more welcoming, less stigmatized, and easier for people to explore, helping you expand your boundaries and realize you’re not alone. Ultimately, the message is that this approach creates room for people to discover and define their own version of connection—“their thing.” Mentioned in this episode: for a promo code to try the for three months! Book your here Music used with permission from : Trial membership to lifestyle dating sites
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Episode 154: Why Comparison is the Thief of Joy
05/01/2026
Episode 154: Why Comparison is the Thief of Joy
In this episode, Kel from Expansive Connection discusses the pervasive issue of comparison, its roots in human evolution, and practical tools to manage it. The conversation explores how comparison impacts self-esteem, relationships, and the lifestyle, offering actionable strategies to foster self-acceptance and joy. Key Topics The evolutionary roots of comparison and negativity bias How comparison distorts self-image and relationships Practical tools for managing comparison and envy The importance of self-awareness and evidence-based self-love Strategies for building confidence and connection Mentioned in this episode:
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Episode 153: Your Insecurity is Your Issue
04/16/2026
Episode 153: Your Insecurity is Your Issue
We've talked about jealousy, we've talked about body image. We've discussed learning to flirt and being corageous in the lifestyle. But beneath the surface we all have insecurities about ourselves at the root of all these things! In this episode we share what we beleive are the causes of our insecurities, how they manifest themselves in our lifestlye journey and share tools to help overcome them to find freedom in being yourself and enjoying others! Mentioned in this episode: on Spotify (Music used with Permission) for a promo code to try our WGT Community Join our Follow us on and Here is some background on the four Luxe Music Studio songs previewed during this episode (with permission): “I Like to Share”: We wanted a song that had an anthem-like chorus that we could imagine being played at lifestyle clubs, events and resorts. While the song focuses on a FFM experience, the theme stands on its own as a celebration of trust, non-jealousy and truly enjoying seeing your partner experience pleasure with others. I find it especially arousing, being bisexual, seeing a woman I find sexy and attractive having sexual fun with my husband. I sometimes like to direct the action so this song celebrates that aspect as well. “Dressed to Undress”: We wrote this song to simply celebrate dressing up in sexy attire for the explicit purpose of taking it off during playtime experiences. We love that most of the clubs have themed nights where I can explore all types of sexy outfits for the sole purpose of feeling erotic and arousing others. We love the Halloween parties especially and still need to write a fun song about a swinger Halloween party. “Playtime”: This is a track where we decided to scale back on the innuendos and get straight to the point: Celebrating pure, hedonistic, hardcore sex of all types. No romance, just chasing lust and pleasure without apology. The rhythm, speed, vibe and intensity of the track reinforces this theme. “Your Pleasure is Mine”: A celebration of same room, full swap swinging. We really wanted to emphasize the point where a swinging couple with maturity, trust, and experience, can truly savor and enjoy the pleasure of watching your lover experience sex with another person while you do the same. A place where we think all swinging couples strive to be, one built on trust, open communication, honesty, clear boundaries, and respect.
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Episode 152: Managing Anxiety in the Lifestyle
04/01/2026
Episode 152: Managing Anxiety in the Lifestyle
There are no shortage of lifestyle sitiuations that will cause us some anxiety! Visiting a club for the first time, going on a first date, being rejected by others, wondering if our partner will 'find someone better,' performance issue worries....and so on. What is actually going on in our brains when we feel anxious or depressed? How can we recognize what's really happening and deal with it in a healthy way? Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us as we help to address some of these very common concerns. Spoiler Alert: You are not alone in dealing with these feelings and emotions!
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Episode 151: The Resort- A Gateway to Ethical Non-Monogamy
03/19/2026
Episode 151: The Resort- A Gateway to Ethical Non-Monogamy
In this episode we review our trip to 'The Resort' which was first introduced by George in episode 137. The Resort is a new opportunity to step into ethical non-monogamy in a new format and market. This property is set on the cliffs of western Jamaica and is absolutely stunning! The views, the service, the food, the entertainment, the sensual vibe and of course the sexy people were all amazing! Spoiler alert: you won't be disappointed.... Mentioned in this episode: for a WGT community promo code
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Episode 150: Is the Lifestyle Addictive?
03/05/2026
Episode 150: Is the Lifestyle Addictive?
Can the lifestyle become an addiction? Well, it can if we don't recognize what's going on in our brains. In this episode with Catherine from Expansive Connection, we break down the key components at play including New Relationship Energy (NRE), Novelty, Desensation, the 'Pleasure Paradox' and how all of this shows up in our relationships. Of course we also discuss ways to recognize and respond when armed with this new knowledge! Discussed in this episode:
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Episode 149: How to Be a Power Couple in the Lifestyle
02/11/2026
Episode 149: How to Be a Power Couple in the Lifestyle
What does it take to be 'successful' as a couple in the world of non-monogamy? In this episode we discuss waht we believe to be the four most important characteristics of a power couple in the lifestyle: Be Connected Be Curious Be Confident Be Approachable Important Links: to request a WGT community trial discount promo code Get access to the free collection of resources in the lifestyle about non-monogamy STD Hero Follow us on and
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Episode 148: Reframing Christian Faith and the Lifestyle
01/28/2026
Episode 148: Reframing Christian Faith and the Lifestyle
Do you struggle with your understanding of how non-monogamy reconciles with a life of faith? Join us for a thought provoking conversation with Dr Mitch G, the newest member of the Expansive Connection coaching team. His training, experience, and specialization in religion and theology provides a helpful framework and understanding for those with religious backgrounds who find themselves struggling with their belief systems or plagued by shame, guilt, and fear over what they’ve been taught or once believed. Dr Mitch's Education and Certifications B.A in Religion Master's degree in Theology Doctoral degree in Holistic Health Postive Psychology & Well-being Coaching Certification Resources supporting this episode: (Cascade Books, 2020) by Peter Enns, PhD (Harper One, 2019) by Rachel Held Evans (Nelson Books, 2018) by Zack W. Lambert (Brazos Press, 2025) with Jennifer Bird, PhD (Podcast - The New Evangelicals) by Jennifer G. Bird, PhD (Rowman & Littlefield, 2023) by Tina Schermer Sellers, PhD (Routledge, 2017) by Glen Farell (Love Done Right, 2024) or their podcast "" with Glen & Lydia Farell by Nadia Bolz-Weber (Convergent, 2019) by Matthias Roberts (Fortress Press, 2020) by Hillary McBride, PhD (Brazos Press, 2021) NG Podcast - "" 9/10/2024 Casual Swinger Podcast - " 12/16/2019
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Episode 147: Safer Sex with STD Hero
01/16/2026
Episode 147: Safer Sex with STD Hero
One of the most common concerns for those in the lifestyle or considering non-monogamy is the risk of contracting a sexually transmitted infection or disease. We invited Alan Brock, CEO, and Dr William Budd, Scientific Advisor from Better Life Sciences and STD Hero testing to discuss the realities, myths, modern testing practices and services available today. We believe awareness and education along with affordable and accessible testing services comprise the most important aspects to create the best opportunity for safer sex for all in today's world. Mentioned in this episode: STD Hero Free Access to request a WGT community trial discount promo code Follow us on and
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Episode 146: How Relationships Change Over Time
12/30/2025
Episode 146: How Relationships Change Over Time
We all know that all relationships, monogamous and non-monogamous, will change over time. Many of those changes will lead to the relationship ending. But does it have to end? Why can't the dynamics of a relationship change while preserving the friendship through it's next phase? Kel from Expansive Connection Coaching joins us to discuss how to navigate these changes in a way that can preserve and often grow the relationship!
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Episode 145: Ask Us (And Our Friends) Anything
12/16/2025
Episode 145: Ask Us (And Our Friends) Anything
This 'ask us anything' episode was recorded live at our 9th annual group trip to Desire Pearl. Not only did we answer questions but our friends helped us out by contributing as well. Use Promo Code: WGT100 to receive $100 off our annual between now and January 4, 2026.
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Episode 144: Lifestyle Coaching in the Aftermath of Loss
11/26/2025
Episode 144: Lifestyle Coaching in the Aftermath of Loss
As a follow up to our episode 142, we hear from Catherine about how the ending of her marriage is affecting her coaching business at Expansive Connection. Will her clients still trust her as a coach? Has this loss made her job more difficult when discussing non-monogamy with her clients? Does she feel like a bit of an imposter? Will this experience make her a better coach? Would you see a coach who has lost her marriage after becoming non-monogamous? Listen in to find out!
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Episode 143: Swinging & Polyamory- Are We More Alike than We Think?
11/12/2025
Episode 143: Swinging & Polyamory- Are We More Alike than We Think?
We are joined by Dedeker, Emily and Jase from the Multiamory* podcast to discuss the similarities and differences between the swinging lifestyle and polyamory! We also talk about what exactly New Relationship Energy (NRE) is and how we can recognize and navigate those strong feelings and emotions when they hit you or someone you love. *Multiamory centers multiple forms of love- everything from monogamy to nonmonogamy, casual dating to queerplatoni partnerships, married couples living separately to those who are single by choice, and everything in between.
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Episode 142: Catherine's Story- "My Marriage Fell Apart"
10/28/2025
Episode 142: Catherine's Story- "My Marriage Fell Apart"
This episode gets very real and very personal. Catherine, from Expansive Connection Relationship Coaching, tells her story of how her marriage fell apart while engaged in a non-monogamous relationship with her husband. Many couples fear this type of loss when considering and moving into and through non-monogamy. Catherine courageously shares her story so that others may benefit and be fully prepared for making such an important relationship decision. We Gotta Thing Episode 41- Making Polyamory Work Episode- Normalizing Non Monogamy- Jen Hatmaker- WGT Space
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Episode 141: What Newbies Need to Know and Veterans Need to Remember
09/25/2025
Episode 141: What Newbies Need to Know and Veterans Need to Remember
Join us and Meshai from Expansive Connection Coaching as we discuss the six most important things those new to the lifestyle need to know and us veterans of the lifestyle need always to remember: Radical Honesty as the Starting Point Shifting Mindsets: From Specialness to Uniqueness Navigating Jealousy and Compersion with Conscious Awareness Boundaries, Agreements and People-Pleasing Navigating Different Paces in the Journey Co-Creating Evolving Agreements
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Episode 140: Back in the Swing of Things
09/11/2025
Episode 140: Back in the Swing of Things
None of us are immune from having 'real life' issues disrupt our relationship or our current life plans and goals. Health issues, family responsibilities, career changes and relocations are just a few of the things that we can expect to encounter in life that will change our priorities. After just over a year of not playing with others in the lifestyle we are happy to announce we are back in the game! Listen in to learn why we stopped, what we had to work through as a couple, what we learned and how we decided to reengage with others at this time. Mentioned this episode: Promo Code: WGT930 (expires September 30, 2025) in Athens, Greece November 15-22, 2025
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Episode 139: Our Enneagram Coaching Session
08/27/2025
Episode 139: Our Enneagram Coaching Session
In Kel, from Expansive Connection Coaching explained all nine Enneagram personality types and motivations. Listen in on this real-time coaching session as Kel reveals the Enneagram results of Mr & Mrs Jones and helps them understand their types and how to better value and understand each other as life partners. Episode Resources: Books Podcast Series Websites Non-monogamy Coaching
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Episode 138: Describing the Lifestyle- Respectful, Pervy, Cool-Ass People
08/14/2025
Episode 138: Describing the Lifestyle- Respectful, Pervy, Cool-Ass People
When we hear the word 'swinger' or 'lifestyle' the first time we may think of key parties, sleezy sex clubs, orgies with strangers and lots of perverted people who will have sex with anyone. With how non-monogamy is portrayed in some movies and television shows it's not surprising that many of us have this perception! During our most recent trip to Desire Riviera Maya we asked the couples to tell us how they would describe the world of non-monogamy to others and how that description has changed from their pre-lifestyle perceptions.
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Episode 137: 'The Resort'- A New Concept for Lifestyle Vacationers
07/31/2025
Episode 137: 'The Resort'- A New Concept for Lifestyle Vacationers
Join us as we chat with the founder of a brand new lifestyle vacation spot in Jamaica- 'The Resort.' This upscale venue gives lifestyle travelers an additional and much needed option for a sexy vacation as ethical non-monogamy becomes more mainstream around the world. for more details and information about membership and booking!
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Episode 136: The Enneagram- Know Your Number!
07/16/2025
Episode 136: The Enneagram- Know Your Number!
Join us as Kel from Expansive Connection explains the Enneagram system which offers numerous benefits for personal and professional development by providing insights into motivations, behaviors, and relationships. It helps individuals understand their core personality type, strengths, weaknesses, and how they interact with others. This understanding can lead to improved self-awareness, better communication, stronger relationships, and a better connection with others in the lifestyle! Episode Resources: Books Podcast Series Websites Non-monogamy Coaching
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Episode 135: Origin Story- Going Deeper with Kurt & Vicki
07/09/2025
Episode 135: Origin Story- Going Deeper with Kurt & Vicki
This 'Origin Story' format episode features our friends Kurt & Vicki and highlights another unique journey into and through non-monogamy. Perhaps their story of working through issues will resonate with those who struggle with things from 'the past' and how previous life experiences can interfere with fully enjoying the lifestyle. Mentioned in this episode:
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Episode 134: Facing the "What-ifs" Fears of Non-monogamy
06/27/2025
Episode 134: Facing the "What-ifs" Fears of Non-monogamy
Are you considering trying non-monogamy or perhaps learning how to navigate the swinging lifestyle environment? Are you paralyzed by the 'what-ifs?' What if my partner falls in love with someone else? What if I get jealous? What if no one is attracted to me? What if we are outed at swingers? You are not alone! Jason from joins Mr & Mrs Jones to discuss how to better understand and work through these common 'what-if' fears shared by but also overcome by many.
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Episode 133: 10 Attributes of Successful Swingers
06/20/2025
Episode 133: 10 Attributes of Successful Swingers
So you think you've got what it takes to be 'successful' in the swinging lifestyle? From our 11 years of experience, we share what we believe to be the most important attributes a person or couple must have to fully enjoy all the benefits of non-monogamy. We also announce the official opening of a new lifestyle resort in Jamaica simply called (and share a couple of sexy snaphots). Care to join us?
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Episode 132: Our Differences Make Us Better
05/28/2025
Episode 132: Our Differences Make Us Better
Why do we usually react to the word 'different' as something negative? Our differences can help us to learn more about ourselves which can lead to individual growth as well as strengthen our relationships. Kel from joins us this episode to help us understand how and why we react to something different and gives us tools to help explore them and turn those differences into opportunities for growth!
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Episode 131: Finding Your Tribe in the We Gotta Thing Community
05/14/2025
Episode 131: Finding Your Tribe in the We Gotta Thing Community
What makes the WGT community unique? We are not a dating site. We are not like a Facebook group. Nor are we similar to a Discord server, a Slack channel, a Zoom meeting or a WhatsApp conversation. What are we then? We are a community full of real people in real relationships who are looking to explore, learn, share and interact with others in a safe, non-judgmental and secure virtual environment. What will you gain in one year by joining us? Mastered Communication – You’ll have developed unshakable confidence in open and honest conversations, leading to more trust, deeper intimacy, and fewer misunderstandings with your partner. A Thriving Support System – You’ll be surrounded by a network of like-minded couples who truly get you, offering support, wisdom, and genuine friendship. No more feeling like you’re navigating this journey alone. New & Exciting Experiences – Whether through online discussions, live events, or luxurious getaways, you’ll have explored new facets of your relationship in a way that feels safe, sexy, and fulfilling. Personal & Relationship Growth – You’ll have gained insights from other members and experts, engaged in transformative workshops, and overcome challenges that once seemed overwhelming. Living Authentically –No matter where you are in your journey, you’ll feel empowered to embrace your desires and connections without fear or hesitation. Your relationship will be stronger, your connections deeper, and your confidence stronger than ever. Care to join us? Learn more about the !
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