The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

What kind of hijinks did you get up to as a kid? Did you climb trees? Did you run around outside barefoot? Did you eat raw cookie dough? Maybe you wanted to do these and other crazy things, but you weren't allowed… Let me ask you this: what if your children wanted to? Would you let them? If you hesitate there, well, you're in the right place. The We Turned Out Okay podcast is where we learn the hows and whys of hovering less and enjoying our young children more. You get to learn from host Karen Lock Kolp's mistakes, but especially from the successes of her guests. Each helpful, lively conversation illustrates why this show really is "The Modern Guide to Old-School Parenting."

337: Addressing our own burnout, AND beloved parenting author Audrey Monke is my guest today! 06/30/2020

337: Addressing our own burnout, AND beloved parenting author Audrey Monke is my guest today! As a child development expert, I want to help you keep going in our new reality! This conversation, recorded during March 2020 (in other words at the very beginning of the pandemic here in the US), I know will be super helpful for that. I am excited to bring you my conversation with the author of one of my favorite parenting books (it's called Happy Campers) – Audrey Monke of is today's OkayCon 2020 guest! Audrey shares: - How to stay positive, even while everyone is cooped up together – Some great family-focused activities you can do to make your stuck at home time more enjoyable – What lessons Audrey, her family, and counselors and campers (who attend the summer camp Audrey owns and runs) are learning from this time Learn how to keep going: In my (free) Weekly Parenting Newsletters I am taking you on my journey of recovering from burnout, exhaustion, and huge feelings of guilt. I am working to feel at peace with myself – to keep going, raising my kids, keeping our household running, and feeling happy inside – and if you want some tools to help you accomplish those miracles, click this link! NPC Summer Camp registration ENDS Wednesday 7/1 One way parents have been feeling way better, recovering from exhaustion, handling their kids' fears, clinginess, and potty training issues: the Ninja Parenting Community. Get access to everything in the community and enjoy a summer camp program created just for you, if you are looking for connection and positivity in our new reality! I am closing registration to NPC on Wednesday, July 1 at 9 PM EST – enroll today, and take that first step toward being able to feel at peace with yourself and (sustainably) keep going! Here is the link, jump in while there is still time: (go to for notes to this episode) We will get through this together! Cheers - Karen /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/15014465

336: Listener Q&A – Sibling jealousy and Adoption 06/23/2020

335: Why bother 06/16/2020

335: Why bother I am super excited to bring you this conversation with Jennifer Louden, whose extremely helpful books (including the one we dive into today, ), have sold nearly a million copies! Jennifer has been featured in hundreds of podcasts, magazines, and TV and radio shows – even appearing on Oprah. In today's conversation you will learn: – How to really give a hoot about your life again – Why it's crucial to LIVE in tough times, instead of just trying to live through them – Appropriate discipline for when your child gets into mischief (specifically writing on walls with magic marker, but what we discuss applies to whenever a kid gets into trouble) Go to for answers to this question, posed there: "How do you bother after heartbreak, after creative and career defeats, after loss, after sidelining your dreams to pay off the debt, raise kids, or take care of aging parents?" But first, listen to our conversation! Need something positive in your life this summer? I'm excited to share a new program I'm offering: we are having summer camp in the Ninja Parenting Community! In addition to the courses, challenges, and other great stuff to keep you sane while raising your little kids, NPC Summer Camp includes: – Weekly camp activities that help you be a better parent, like making a vision board, or a "house rules" sign, or a treasure hunt to take kiddos on, or a "no occasion needed" fun family surprise – Supportive and fun Members-Only Campfire Nights – The sense of belonging to a community of people who get it, and who are along on this parenting journey with you NPC Summer Camp dates: Friday, June 26-Friday, August 7, 2020. Enroll now to enjoy family life this summer! Exclusively for podcast listeners and folks signed up for my weekly newsletters, (Offer ends Wednesday, June 24, and NPC Summer Camp begins Friday, June 26, so jump in now!) Can't wait to see you at summer camp! to see this post in your browser : ) /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/14815736

334: How to raise anti-racist kids 06/09/2020

334: How to raise anti-racist kids "It's as if we are going through the 1918 flu pandemic AND the Great Depression AND the Civil Rights era, all at once." That's what James Arthur said on , in (and about) Spring 2020. I think he's right. To get through it all we are going to have to work together! That's the spirit in which I bring you this episode. In between my friend Shane Sams, and his friend Talaat McNeely, Talaat shares that we each must "Make change within our sphere of influence." Well, my sphere of influence is in teaching parents like you how to get your family going in the direction you want. Today I link that idea up with getting this nation going in the direction we want: one in which everyone is treated fairly, and where parents don't have to worry about their children being harassed, assaulted, or murdered because of how they look. I hope this episode, all about raising anti-racist kids, will help you make these crucial changes within your sphere of influence. FYI: Free live training course on raising good, kind kids – This week I'm doing not one but two live trainings, teaching on how a parent can change a child's bad behavior to good… and one common mistake that well-meaning parents often make when trying to raise good, kind kids. (In other words, something that ups the bad behavior, when they're trying to reduce it. It's not a mistake you want to make.) Click to sign up for the live trainings, this coming Thursday, June 11 and Sunday, June 14! Because of my white privilege, I have been able to insulate myself. I've been able to not see some important truths that have been right in front of me. I have remained ignorant, when I should have been seeking education. This week one of my friends, a white man from Kentucky, had an amazing conversation with one of his friends, a Black man from Chicago. Talaat McNeely and Shane Sams spoke for an hour and 45 minutes, and I was astounded and ashamed at the stories Talaat told. Things that have personally happened to him and his kids, just because of the color of their skin. I was: – astounded by the differences in our experiences, Talaat's and mine, which only came about because he happens to be Black, and I happen to be white. No one should ever, EVER be treated the way Talaat and his family have been treated. – ashamed because I let it happen. The simple fact that it is happening means that I have not done enough to stop it. Talaat shares five key steps that we can take to stop racism. (I don't remember to bring up the first and most important one until we're almost at the very end of today's episode, so all along you'll hear me talk about four key steps… But that first one is most important. Talaat brings it up right at the beginning of his conversation with Shane. It's something you hear me talk about on the show again and again, and I still can't believe it took me until the last part of this episode to talk about it in connection with stopping racism.) There are about a million links today, so for those and a description of the five key steps we can take to stop racism – to raise anti-racist kids – click the following link: . We need each other now, more than ever. If you are reading this and you're a person who (as the Black Panthers used to say) is Black or oppressed, you have my empathy, and my pledge to become educated instead of remaining ignorant about what has happened to you, and the part I have played in your troubles. If you're a person of privilege, I hope that like me, you're open to moving forward on the path from ignorance, to education. And from there to support. We will get through this together <3 /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/14746052

333.5: When you feel small, helpless, and afraid, listen to this. 06/02/2020

333.5: When you feel small, helpless, and afraid, listen to this. (FYI: about 10 or so minutes in, I use the word "jackass" once or twice... it's not enough for an E-rating, but I want you to be aware just in case you want to listen away from sensitive ears.) Hi Friends, I had planned for, and drafted, a very different kind of post today for you (I got about a dozen spider bites while sleeping Saturday night, and we've got a very large ant invasion going on in our kitchen; my abandoned draft was largely about these.) But as I wrote I realized how truly small and insignificant these concerns of mine are. There is a lot going on in the world, and a lot going on in the news. And I wanted to start the week off with a simpler message. I wasn't sure what that message would be, except somehow I wanted to transcend the fear, the worry, and the struggles that we are seeing in the news, and even in our own homes. My family and I just finished virtually attending the closing ceremonies for the year at my son's school, and the Executive Director George Popham teared up saying the following: "If there's one important thing we should be doing, it is to put good, kind people in the world." Immediately I knew that that was the message I wanted to share. This morning when I woke up, and even as I began to write this email, I was feeling helpless and small and afraid. (And itchy from spider bites, if I'm being honest.) Hearing George's words made me feel much, much better. We have a really important mission, us parents: It's to put good, kind people in the world. If we do nothing else – absolutely nothing! – besides this, I believe it will be enough. And if I can be helpful to you, as you are working on this mission, that would fulfill something deep in me. I have lots of ideas and experience working with young children, and spent nearly a decade working in an outstanding, cutting-edge preschool program. I earned my bachelor's degree in Human Development and Family Relations, and later my master's degree in Early Childhood Education. I've spent the last six years helping parents rein in their children's bad behavior and truly enjoy family life. I know a lot about what makes kids tick, and how we can alleviate their bad behavior, and thus connect with them and feel happy within ourselves as we raise them. If we're going to raise kind people, we can do that best by making our environment is positive and kind as possible. If you're struggling with that, I hope I can be helpful for you! I just built a page on my website, , where I gathered many of the resources that have been helping me learn to combat racism – a huge part of raising good and kind kids. I've also got lots of other free resources, including , and an that I put on in response to the pandemic this past April. You can spend more in depth time with me each Wednesday evening by joining , which is free to join, and can be free to read the book if the purchase cost is a barrier for you. And I am running a special right now, until this coming Wednesday, June 3, on entry into , trying to make this as affordable for you as possible. Lastly, if you've got any parenting questions at all I hope you'll go to and ask. We will get through this, together. Cheers, Karen /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/14659307

333: How are you holding up? 3 ways to keep going 06/02/2020

333: How are you holding up? 3 ways to keep going "I feel like I'm completely alone trying to meet completely insatiable needs for days on end." That is what one of the moms in my online coaching practice, the Ninja Parenting Community, wrote early last week. She's not the only one. Not by a longshot! In this week's episode I share my best ideas for getting through a crisis. Even a slow-motion, simultaneously-terrifying-and-tedious, pandemic-induced crisis like the one we're in now in June 2020. If your energy, patience, and/or well-being is flagging, first of all let me offer HUGE hugs! Listen to this episode for some practical things you can do to get through the toughest of these tough times. Join us! Links that come up today: Parenting Masterclass For the all-summer-long live Masterclass series, "Parenting in Place," which features lots of WTOO beloved guests and friends, like Audrey Monke, Jessica Lahey, and Devorah Heitner, click here! (I'm signed up for it, and I hope you'll sign up too!) Ninja Parent Playbook! Want to be a part of the (extremely limited) first-ever issue of the Ninja Parent Playbook? This is the brainwave I mentioned briefly in last week's episode – a newsletter to help you keep going, anchored by a calendar that gives you some small step to take every day. But it's so much more than that. It's part workbook, part inspirational thinking, part marching orders to keep you on track. It's packed with informative and thoughtful ideas to help you not just "live through" this (or any) crisis – but really, truly LIVE. If you want to bring your family safely through hard times, while feeling not just as if you're scraping by but as if you are happy within yourself and in your family, you need this newsletter! It's a monthly publication that comes in your mailbox! (If you're outside the US at this point it needs to be a PDF into your email, although I'm hoping that will change in the future : ) Click the link below to sign up: weturnedoutokay.com/playbook WTOO Book Club Click the following link for the WTOO Book Club (we are reading Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics, my first book and one that really gets to the heart of how to have a happy family life) weturnedoutokay.com/bookclub Grand Reopening sale ends Wednesday, June 3 Earlier I mentioned the Ninja Parenting Community, my online private coaching practice; Wednesday, June 3, 2020 is your LAST day to get a special quarterly rate – 3 months for the price of 2! Click this link for details: weturnedoutokay.com/joinNPC Click weturnedoutokay.com/066 for my conversation about consent, with Amy Anderson. Click weturnedoutokay.com/332 for last week's conversation with special needs preschool teacher, and close friend and colleague of mine, Tricia Tomaso (the episode comes up today because I shared last week about the brainwave that has become the Ninja Parent Playbook : ) Click weturnedoutokay.com/333 to view this post in your browser. And again huge hugs! We will get through this together <3 /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/14635103

332: Helping your child through the pandemic, with special needs preschool teacher Tricia Tomaso 05/26/2020

331: How to handle your child's rage 05/19/2020

331: How to handle your child's rage "My biggest struggle is with my five-year-old. When she is angry she scratches, bites and sometimes hits. She also yells very loudly. I would love some advice on how to get her to stop." A listener wrote in with this question, and I knew it would probably resonate with many listeners. Like us adults, kids are experiencing lots and lots of angry feelings – more so than pre-pandemic, without the usual outlets or often even the ability to leave the house and get a change of scene. It can be difficult for adults to deal with our own rage, after years and decades of experience… It's so much harder for kids to deal with their rage. They need our help! Today I share a 3-part formula that I hope you find helpful in handling your child's angry outbursts. We've also got an impromptu Parenting News, featuring the following: The Forge article "," about how only one thing really matters right now in bringing our families through the pandemic. A new book – – from and expert in raising self-directed learners Blake Boles. I share the Amazon link here, but Blake asks that you consider purchasing it through "local bookstores, which could certainly use the business right now." (I share about this book both in the Parenting News, and also in the main part of this episode. I think it's required reading, not just in handling your young child's rage, but also in raising resilient and happy kids. Highly recommended!) Join us! Notes, including tons of links and a cheat sheet of the 3-part formula to handle your child's angry outbursts, are at : ) Also: I have been working hard behind the scenes, creating a 5-module course on "How to keep going" and a training on "how to handle your child's angry outbursts," not to mention spring cleaning in the … and in this episode I share when registration opens once more for NPC! The response from NPC members has been wonderful, and I'm excited to open up the community for those of you who want the extra support coming through the pandemic. Listen in to this episode to find out when registration opens, if you need that supportive community, and help from an expert in child development. I wrote a newsletter recently on how to handle it if you're feeling anxiety in the pandemic (and after). Click the link below to read it: To watch the Free Virtual Summit I created in response to the 2020 coronavirus pandemic go to: We will get through this together <3 /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/14451614

330: What should kids be learning during the pandemic? 05/12/2020

329.5: What is working right now in getting you through this pandemic 05/07/2020

329.5: What is working right now in getting you through this pandemic WTOO Book Club – Starting Wednesday, May 13 at 8 PM EST we are doing a chapter-by-chapter weekly read of Positive Discipline Ninja Tactics. We will learn to get good behavior from kiddos, share some stories, and spend some time each week together. If that sounds good to you, to join the WTOO Book Club! Working closely with parents of young children during this pandemic, I’ve seen so many examples of bad behavior: – Kids smearing peanut butter on walls, dumping vinegar in beds, destroying furniture – Kids pulling pets’ tales, chasing them with scooters, threatening the pets, and their own safety (when the animals retaliate) – Kids getting overly clingy, going back and forth in terms of emotions between overexcited and happy, to abjectly despairing and melting down – Kids reverting from potty training, showing immature behaviors that hadn’t been seen for weeks or months or years – Kids unable to control their rage and angry feelings And it’s not only kids reacting to the situation with heightened emotions. We are doing it too! The questions I hear from the people I work most closely with: “I feel so lost. How do I live through this? What do I DO?” This presentation comes directly from the solutions these parents have found. I am excited to bring them to you! Today I share 7 things you can do to feel better – these are the ways I'm seeing parents use successfully to LIVE in this right now, as opposed to just living through this. Click weturnedoutokay.com/329 to read the cheat sheet of these steps. We will get through this together! In previous episodes I've mentioned how appreciative I am of my town's weekday Emergency Meetings which . This past week I was invited on the show! () I talk about how to get kids to wear masks, what to do when you are absolutely at your wit's end, and more. I'm posting it in here because I hope it will be helpful for you, even if you do not live in my town <3 Free Help for Parents in the Pandemic – in April 2020 I created the OkayCon Free Virtual Summit, 10 conversations with experts in fields of crucial importance to you right now (kids' behavior, finances, finding a job, home security, and lots more). These conversations are . I hope the Virtual Summit is helpful for you! /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/14253602

329: "How do I say "no" to my child's physical aggression without losing my calm?" 05/05/2020

328: "What should I do with my stimulus check?" – Money Expert Raeshal Solomon joins me today! 04/28/2020

328: "What should I do with my stimulus check?" – Money Expert Raeshal Solomon joins me today! FYI: I am starting a WTOO book club, a chapter-by-chapter read of my parenting books! If you want to learn to get good behavior from your kiddos, and share some stories, and spend some time each week with me, you can do that starting in May : ) , the book we'll start with, so you can get reading! I am so excited to bring you this conversation, with returning champion, mom, and money expert Raeshal Solomon of ! Raeshal knows so much about money and getting out of debt – firsthand; in our first WTOO conversation, in episode 215, she shares how she successfully got herself out of debt. In our conversation (recorded for OkayCon 2020, the Free Virtual Summit taking place during April 2020; go to to check out all the presentations!) Raeshal shares: – 6 steps you can take to get your finances under control, during and after the pandemic – How (and why) to "take the emotion out of money" – What you actually should do with your stimulus check This is a wonderful and extremely helpful conversation. Join us! (Go to for links and Raeshal's 6 steps outlined : ) I believe that challenging times call for dramatic measures. So I'm upping the WTOO game! Free Parenting Advice – Click the following link to sign up for my Free Newsletter, where each week you'll get tons of advice and ideas for parenting through the Covid-19 crisis: Parenting Support Every Step of the Way – We're facing one of the most challenging times of our lives. Like me you are probably feeling all kinds of fear, anxiety, and worry right now. Besides which, you are also likely sheltering in place with kids – whose behavior is leaving a lot to be desired at the moment! That's why I've got special help for you during (and beyond) the Pandemic. For a limited time, I am offering NPC membership at a special rate: $1 for your first month, and then the Friends & Family Monthly Rate, 25% off standard membership : ) So you can get the help and support you need during this crisis, click the link below: /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/14148821

327: Can I train my child to play independently? 04/21/2020

327: Can I train my child to play independently? OkayCon FREE Virtual Summit happening now If you're not sure how much more of this whole stuck-at-home stuff you can take, go to for a new, relevant interview each Monday and Wednesday, and a watch party each Monday and Wednesday evening throughout April! We will get through this together <3 I recorded this before our current "double pandemic" (of Covid-19, and Fear). But it seems especially relevant now: Can you, or should you, train your child to play independently? Do you negatively impact a child by playing with them often? Do you feel guilty, whether you say "yes, I'll play," or "no, not right now"? One member of our brought up these, and many other questions regarding independent play (her questions reference an only child... but this applies to all parents.) Join us today to listen as I share the answers to these questions! (Click to view the video and see the notes.) Key Links: What we're doing here at WTOO to help you through the pandemic: All during April's OkayCon 2020 Virtual Summit we're having live watch parties, so we can keep each other company in this era where we all need that! Sign up to be notified about the guests and watch parties: Find out details about the summit itself: Like me, you are probably feeling all kinds of fear, anxiety, and worry right now. Besides which, you are also likely sheltering in place with kids – whose behavior is leaving a lot to be desired at the moment! That’s why I am offering a special membership rate, just $1 for your whole first month! It's the Friends & Family rate, available for a limited time at the following link: Our first Pandemic Parenting News: for the NYT parenting article in which a bouncer, a referee, and a therapist all help you stop your kids from fighting. for the hilarious and wonderful essay "We, The Hard-Working, Newly Homeschooling Parents of America, have Rewritten the Common Core Standards." for the Boston Globe article "Seven activities keeping my family sane during isolation." for @childlifesaver's wonderful post, "How to help kids wear masks," in Instagram. Wishing you well throughout this unprecedented time! We will get through it together <3 /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/14040752

326: Get good behavior from your child even during the coronavirus outbreak, with Dr. Heather Maguire 04/14/2020

325: Your most important asset in times of trouble 04/07/2020

325: Your most important asset in times of trouble How, you might be wondering, are we actually really going to get through this time? You're not alone in wondering that. I have been wondering about it too. I've also been feeling terribly guilty, any time that I forget we are in the midst of a worldwide pandemic and find myself enjoying something, or laughing at a joke, or feeling contented. So today I want to bring you an episode that defines our most important asset, the single most important thing we need to get through this (or any) time of trouble. I hope you find it helpful! ( for this post in your browser.) Here are all the links I share about today: 1. for the poem that brought me to tears, and also gave me permission to not feel guilty, but to embrace good feelings. 2. , my conversation with Mark McGuinness of the 21st century creative podcast. 3. for the McElroy Family YouTube channel, where you'll find the wonderful series Stories From Your Gaffer, read each evening at 5:30 PM Eastern by Clint McElroy, one of my favorite podcasters ever. 4. for The Adventure Zone, where I first heard Clint McElroy – but please, not with kiddos around! 5. for my conversation with Audrey Monke, broadcast last Friday (in real-time) at Audrey's Sunshine Parenting Facebook page. 6. , my second We Turned Out Okay conversation with Audrey, about her wonderful book, Happy Campers. 7. for my conversation as a guest on the wonderful #Am Writing Podcast; I share about my experience doing everything digital by voice, after losing the ability to use my hands to accomplish digital – and lots of analog – tasks. 8. If you are a Ninja Parenting Community member, , about helping her daughter overcome fears about coronavirus and house fires. She did this in such a cool way (I read out the success story today in this episode). Not a member? to become one. 9. Click for OkayCon 2020, the FREE Virtual Summit going on right now here at We Turned out Okay! 10. to join the Facebook group – that way you can be part of the OkayCon 2020 watch parties every Monday and Wednesday evening at 8 PM Eastern! 11. I share HUGE news today, about the Happy-in-Place Challenge going on in The Ninja Parenting Community (it starts on April 16, my birthday : ) Right now you can join NPC for just $1 for your first month and each consecutive month thereafter at 50% off the standard monthly rate! You can cancel at any time, so there is no risk… Only the hope, support, and accountability that membership brings. Go to for details and to sign up! /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/13854059

324: Why your child's behavior may be worse now than usual, and what to do about it, with Janine Halloran, LMHC 03/31/2020

324: Why your child's behavior may be worse now than usual, and what to do about it, with Janine Halloran, LMHC Today we are bringing back – for the fifth time! – beloved guest, an expert in teaching kids coping skills, Janine Halloran LMHC of . We discuss: – How Janine is thinking about school work and all this extra time at home with kids and family – The kinds of questions her clients are bringing to her right now, in spring 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic – Why a child's behavior is most likely worse than usual right now – What you can do about that, if that's the case in your home Join us! (Click the following link for the video of our talk, and also notes from today's conversation: ) How are you staying positive? Let me know! In our Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/1607987166145505/ in Instagram: http://instagram.com/weturnedoutokay in Twitter: http://twitter.com/weturnedoutokay All during April's FREE OkayCon 2020 Virtual Summit we're having live watch parties, so we can keep each other company in this era where we all need that! Sign up to be notified about the guests and watch parties: https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly Join the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group, where the watch parties are happening each Monday and Wednesday all through April, by . Find out details about the summit itself: http://okaycon.com We will get through this together : ) Cheers! Karen Karen Lock Kolp, M.Ed. of https://weturnedoutokay.com Helping parents change kids' behavior from bad to good, feel happy inside, and TRULY enjoy family time : ) PS Join my email newsgroup for lots of useful, free parenting tools, as well as lots of info on OkayCon, our Virtual Summit that is ongoing right now: sign up at If you need some extra support, especially right now with all the madness, I'm offering special membership rates if you want to join our private coaching community, NPC. for details and to join, so I can personally help you through this extremely challenging time! /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/13748150

OkayCon 2020 FREE Virtual Summit starts tomorrow : ) 03/29/2020

323: 32 Ways to occupy stuck-at-home kids (organized by amount of adult input!) 03/24/2020

322 Coronavirus anxiety, and How to regulate screen time (new ninja tactic!) 03/17/2020

322 Coronavirus anxiety, and How to regulate screen time (new ninja tactic!) So, I say I'm going to drop an F bomb in the beginning segment of this episode, but we decided to edit it out, so no worries about earmuffs :-) Re coronavirus: I had an anxiety attack this morning, before I was even fully awake. To help you in case you are experiencing heightened anxiety right now as well, I start off today’s show with audio from a video series I’m doing on how to feel better during this time of fear, worry, and coronavirus threats. The video has its own post, with a cheat sheet of the ways I’m finding to alleviate the anxieties, available at https://weturnedoutokay.com/cv2 Go to https://weturnedoutokay.com/weekly to get these videos automagically delivered right into your inbox. We will get through this together 💕 ———————- Re the new ninja tactic: I am SO excited to share this with you, a new ninja tactic that is absolutely great for regulating screen time! Do you struggle with getting your kids to stop watching TV, or the tablet, or stop using your (or their) phone? This is the show for you. I lay out exactly what words to say, to make this work – to get your kids to listen to you and actually control the screen time! Join us : ) is the link to this post Links that come up in this episode: – , where you can sign up for the newsletters I send out each week! They are extremely useful, like , and plus I love corresponding with you! – , who first brought this ninja tactic to my attention – , the place our NPC member first learned of this tactic – Bonnie and Thomas's – , my first book, which contains lots more tools you can use in the stressful moments of parenting to get your kids to do what you want them to do : ) – , where you can become a member of the Ninja Parenting Community (just as this member did) and learn to overcome the challenges that are stopping you from truly enjoy family time Thanks for reading, and listening! Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough! Listen to today's show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then Click to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks. /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/13553483

321: What is actually helpful for little kids when it comes to learning and technology? – My conversation with parents, teachers and authors Matt Miles and Joe Clement 03/10/2020

321: What is actually helpful for little kids when it comes to learning and technology? – My conversation with parents, teachers and authors Matt Miles and Joe Clement Today's guests have written a book, called Screen Schooled, which has had a huge impact on how I think about my teenagers and their educations. I found Matt Miles' and Joe Clement's book so compelling, and so full of great ideas for helping teens navigate the modern technical world, that I knew I wanted their take on young kids and tech. (They are both parents, each raising young children in their families.) I knew I wanted to bring that perspective to you! We discuss: – How 21st-century skills are the same skills that human beings have needed throughout history – What those most important skills are (hint: they are not tapping/swiping/navigating in our devices) – How to incorporate technology into your life and family, for the biggest benefits and least amount of frustration and worry – Matt and Joe's responses to some fantastic questions: "Any advice on what is actually helpful for preschoolers when it comes to learning and technology? There are a million apps and games billed as "educational" but what's actually beneficial?" "Often I hear the advice to "talk to your children about what they're watching/playing"… So far the only times I've used this technique is to help them see why a certain game is questionable. I don't otherwise ENJOY talking about the inane stuff they choose to do on their devices, so talking to them about it positively is really hard. What advice do these teachers have?" "Will our children fall behind if they are not introduced to much technology at young ages?" "I'm interested to hear how things have changed during [Matt and Joe's] careers, and how they anticipate things evolving in the future… Since most of us have little kids and it's hard to conceive of the world they'll be living in 10 to 15 years from now." Hope you enjoy this conversation! ( is the link to this post : ) PS One place where you can get help with your challenges while raising little kids is the online community that I run, . During January 2020 you can spend your whole first month in the community for just $1! ) Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each Wednesday I send out a Parenting Newsletter, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. I've written newsletters on everything from , to what to do . Useful stuff. so it zooms right into your inbox each week! /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/13455812

320.5 Fourteen things you can do to address coronavirus with your family 03/05/2020

320: Kids and tech: what you need to know 03/03/2020

320: Kids and tech: what you need to know Screens are here to stay – which is awesome on the one hand, and completely frightening on the other. Especially when it comes to little kids. It's so hard to know: – what is the right amount of screen time – what is damaging or detrimental – how to come up with guidelines about this in the first place – how to implement those guidelines in the second We discuss all of this today – in fact, we are talking kids and tech all month! Join us as we kick off with a show about the basics: Good guidelines to keep in mind with kids and technology, and also how you can implement those guidelines. Click play to dive in! Here's a cheat sheet for this episode: The guidelines – 1. We all need boredom in our lives. Having digital (or nondigital, for that matter) distractions for every moment when we might feel bored creates people who do not know how to amuse themselves. It even creates people who don't know themselves. So while it might not feel great, making sure that kids have a chance to be bored and need to figure out how to amuse themselves is super important. 2. Less is more. The more time digital devices spend turned over and put away on a high shelf, the better. 3. Don't let tech interfere with human connection and bonding. How to implement the guidelines – 1. Pick your time with care. 2. Put the tech away, for lots of every day. 3. Always, ALWAYS be sure to watch YouTube along with your kids. As kids and media specialist Devorah Heitner says, "there is no safe way for young children to watch YouTube alone." 4. Mind your own tech use as well. Here are the links that come up in today's episode: – (And to get future newsletters delivered right into your inbox : ) – – – , the place where you can work closely with me to solve your biggest parenting challenges, feel happy inside, and truly enjoy family time <3 Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created a great resource to help your child handle it when the going gets tough! Listen to today's show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then Click to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks. Thanks for listening and reading! /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/13384190

319.5: Why are kids so clingy? 5 case studies to help you handle your clingy child 02/27/2020

319.5: Why are kids so clingy? 5 case studies to help you handle your clingy child What do you do when: – Your six-year-old witnessed a traumatic event, and is so traumatized that he feels he can never be away from your side – Your four-year-old "really misses mommy and daddy" and cannot enjoy his enrichment class – You fear your three-year-old's "declining independence," because she increasingly needs you by her side as she is going potty, getting dressed, and going to sleep at night – Your seven-year-old is afraid to be alone in the upstairs of your house, while you are downstairs – Your 11-year-old is feeling anxious about getting separated while skiing Each of these situations come up in today's Live Case Study… Join us and find out how to handle each! PS - 50% off the annual Ninja Parenting Community rate NPC member BabyBrain worried about her daughter's fear of being alone in any room in their new house – so, she asked for help. And I created This course is a drop in the bucket of all the resources available for you there, to help you enjoy family time more. This Leap Year, take the leap – 50% off Annual NPC membership! Jump into the Ninja Parenting Community and start enjoying family life for real! The following links come up in today's Case Study: My conversation with Dr. Laura Markham in episode 255 of the We Turned Out Okay podcast, Some fantastic downloads by Dr. Deborah MacNamara, including one about "what kids worry about at different ages" The link where you can learn more about how to work closely with me, solving your biggest parenting challenges to get you feeling happy inside yourself and also enjoying family time: Cheers! And thanks for watching/listening! Karen Karen Lock Kolp, M.Ed. Website: https://weturnedoutokay.com Facebook: http://facebook.com/weturnedoutokay Helping parents change kids' behavior from bad to good, feel happy inside, and TRULY enjoy family time : ) /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/13325825

319: A parent manifesto, a WTOO-approved show for kids, and more in today's Parenting News Roundup! 02/25/2020

318: Parenting-Style Smackdown 02/18/2020

318: Parenting-Style Smackdown Welcome! To listen to today's episode, scroll down to the very bottom of this post and hit the triangular "play" button. Enjoy the show! Recently an NPC member brought up a hugely important issue, and it sparked a whole line of thinking for me that led us to this video! Here's the issue: "It would be interesting to hear some data/facts on how harmful NOT disciplining your kids can be. So many times we focus on the negative effects of discipline – spanking, timeouts, etc., but what's easy to forget is just how dangerous it is to take a backseat parenting your children." So let's have a parenting-style smackdown: Which is worse, Passive or Dictatorial Parenting? The winner is… Both! The worst parts of passive parenting – the lack of boundaries and having any expectations about our children's behavior – and the worst parts of authoritarian (which here I'm calling dictatorial or autocratic) – exerting control, simply for control's sake – both amount to a kind of neglect. The passive parenting amounts to neglect because it is terrifying for children to not have any boundaries or expectations for good behavior. The authoritarian parenting amounts to neglect because in this style, no thought is given to the child's experience, thinking, or ability to reason. What should we do instead? We should try to hit the middle of the spectrum. Somewhere between the extremes of Passive, and Authoritarian, lies Authoritative, also called Wise. It's the kind of parenting that will help you raise healthy and happy kids. "The children of psychologically Wise parents," Angela Duckworth writes in Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, fare better than children raised in any other kind of household." We dive into all that today! I hope it helps you garner the courage to make any necessary changes in your parenting style. Links and notes at: Special thank you to the ninja parent who asked this question. I hope this helps <3 Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each week I send out a couple parenting newsletters, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. I just wrapped up a series on "," all about what to do when with meltdowns, disrespect, and potty training challenges… Useful stuff! so it zooms right into your inbox each week! Today's episode is sponsored by the amazing Janine Halloran, expert in teaching kids coping skills, who has created some great resources to help your child handle it when the going gets tough! Listen to today's show to find out how to get 15% off your order, and then Click to check out Janine's Coping Skills for Kids Cue Card Decks. /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/13182017

317: What kids need today with guests Dr. Rob Reiher and Wayne Yercha of the Live Above the Noise podcast 02/11/2020

317: What kids need today with guests Dr. Rob Reiher and Wayne Yercha of the Live Above the Noise podcast Will you be my Valentine? I have a special gift exclusively for newsletter subscribers… to read my most recent newsletter (all about Valentine's Day) and to subscribe! "Schools are way, way behind the times when it comes to what kids need today," one of today's guests, educational psychologist Dr. Rob Reiher, shares during our conversation. Rob and his podcast cohost, Wayne Yercha, teamed up because they saw a disparity not just in schools, but in children's entertainment. So they created two shows! Live Above the Noise is the "for parents" show about helping kids find, and listen to, their inner voice – and speaking personally, it's a show that survived my 2019 digital reset because they give real insight into how we can best raise our little kids. Their other show, Shieldstar Knights, debuts this week! It's an action-adventure show for kids ages 8 to 12, and differs from most other kids' entertainment by solving problems in other ways besides violence. (It's definitely geared towards kids between eight and 12, it would be pretty scary for younger children! Maybe listen, before you introduce it to your kids, just to be sure : ) We dig into both, and lots more, in this episode of We Turned Out Okay. Join us! Click for everything we talk about in today's episode : ) Sign up for my Weekly Parenting Newsletter Each week I send out a couple parenting newsletters, to help you stay sane while raising your kiddos. ( and includes the link to become a subscriber yourself.) I just wrapped up a series on "," so you can learn what to do when even the basics are a challenge! Useful stuff. so it zooms right into your inbox each week! for the We Turned Out Okay Facebook group. And if you need some extra support for the tough parts of your parenting journey, join the private coaching community that I run! to find out more, and to join. /episode/index/show/weturnedoutokay/id/13080107

316: Beliefs create reality. So, what do you believe? 02/04/2020

For All Moms, A New Podcast from Audioboom 01/29/2020

315: Drugging boys, and self-worth – first-ever Parenting News Roundup 01/28/2020

314: Boundaries with Grandparents 01/21/2020

The We Turned Out Okay Podcast

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