Practice and Pursuit of Ihsan-Lecture5

Dealing with challenging relationships whilst practicing Ihsan.

Reference to Surah Ar-Rad, Verse 21-24- talking about the Ulul Albab- Men of Understanding.

 

• Characteristics of Ulul Albab in dealing with challenging people:

 

10. Understand where the challenging person is coming from.
11. Give them the benefit of the doubt.
12. Practice patience- self-control, will power, and acceptance.
13. They do Ihsan for Allah’s pleasure. 
14. They establish prayer as it serves as a reminder of their destination.
15. They are detached from material possessions.
16. If triggered, they say, “I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed Satan.”
17. They spend secretly and they spend openly.
18. They repel evil conduct with good.
19. They show extra kindness to those who trigger them.

Hadith of Holy Prophet (SAW) talks about the best traits of character in dunya and akhirah:

• Forgive people who have been unjust to you and oppressed you.
• Do good to people who have done bad to you.
• Give to people who have deprived you.

Essence of Dua Makarimul Akhlaq:

• Allow me to repel evil with goodness
• Transform my evil into good

The power of pausing and how to practice it:

• We have the rational mind to separate our response from the trigger.
• Learn to stop long enough to get in touch with your values.
• Consider how to respond to a triggering situation.
• Consider the consequences of your actions. 
• External events cannot be controlled but our response to them is in our control.

Ways to strengthen our internal pause button:

• Recognize the trigger. 
• Mentally pause your reaction.
• Take a deep breath. 
• Make the intention to react in a positive manner.
• Ask someone for help.

LINKS:

SURAH AL-HIJR VERSES 45-50

SURAH AR-RAD VERSES 21-24

SURAH FUSSILAT VERSES 34-36

SURAH QASSAS VERSE 54

DUA MAKARIMUL AKHLAQ

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