Practice and Pursuit of Ihsan-Lecture8

Three keys to living a life of Ihsan (cont.)

Key 3: Pardon and forgive- Understanding God’s forgiveness

• Ghaffar- He who forgives the quantity of sins.
• Ghafoor- He who forgives the quality of sins.
• Al-'Afuw- He who removes the ill effects of sins.

These are the same qualities that one must apply in their relationships with others.

Types of forgiveness:

• Situational forgiveness- when one moves on from a situation that causes them turmoil.
• Dispositional forgiveness- pardon, forgive and overlook others for their shortcomings.

Motivation for change- inspiration from the Quran and Hadith:

• Continuously remind oneself that forgiving others gives access to His mercy.
• To attain God’s forgiveness one must forgive his fellow human beings.
• Assume that everyone has at least as good intentions as oneself. 
• Psychologists and ulema both explain that forgiveness is an inner freedom.
• God transforms bad deeds into good deeds- forgive and promote if someone admits a mistake.
• A momin is obsessed with his own shortcomings, not with those of others. 

Difference between anger and resentment:

• Anger: is a quick emotion. It is a fire that goes out quite quickly.
• Resentment: a persistent feeling of upset towards a situation. It’s similar to hot burning coals that continue to smoulder long after.

What we hold on to costs us emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Barriers to forgiveness:

• Not recognizing the cost to one’s well-being.
• Fear of condoning hurtful behaviour.
• Belief that “they should pay for it.”
• Lack of skills in coping with anger.

What is forgiveness?

• Forgiveness does not mean condoning another’s behaviour.
• It’s a change in feelings and attitudes regarding what happened.
• Letting go of negative emotions such as taking revenge.
• There is no desire to make the other person suffer anymore.
• There is an increased ability to wish the other person well. 
• Results in spiritual expansion and closer proximity to God.

LINKS: 

SURAH YUNUS VERSE 65

SURAH AN-NUR VERSE 22

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