578. Why Relationships Are Hard - With Alexandra Solomon
The Embodiment Coaching Podcast
Release Date: 02/27/2024
The Embodiment Coaching Podcast
Julia Vaughan Smith joins me to explore what it really means to be a trauma-aware coach. We unpack the fear many coaches carry of getting it wrong, causing harm, or stepping outside their scope, and how that can undermine confidence. We look at the difference between working with trauma and working on trauma, and why coaching doesn’t need to become therapy to be effective. We also explore the shadow sides of both coaching and psychotherapy, the rise of popular approaches like parts work, and how to stay grounded in good practice. Towards the end, we dive into the powerful dynamics between...
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Dr Helen Machen-Pearce joins me again to look at what’s happening in the modern trauma conversation. Trauma awareness has done enormous good, but we explore how the term is now being stretched, misunderstood, and sometimes used in ways that can disempower people rather than help them heal. We discuss the rise of self-diagnosis, the influence of social media psychology, and how trauma language can sometimes become identity, authority, or even ideology. We also look at the pressures inside the coaching and therapy world, including financial incentives, popularity dynamics, and the risk of...
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This week I’m joined by GS Youngblood to explore what healthy masculinity actually looks like in modern relationships. We get into masculine–feminine polarity, why so many men get stuck between “nice guy” passivity and hyper-masculine posturing, and what real relational leadership means in practice. We unpack his three-part blueprint: respond instead of react, provide structure, and create emotional safety. We look at co-regulation, communication breakdowns, financial and physical safety, and why intimacy is often harder than leadership at work. We also dive into embodiment as daily...
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In this episode, Helen and I unpack the uncomfortable truth about manipulation in coaching and personal growth. From authority claims and social proof to trauma bonding, love bombing, and cult-like dynamics, we explore how influence can quietly become coercion. We look at red flags - dependency on the teacher, blocked disagreement, emotional state manipulation, endless upselling - and also the subtler traps like vague language, borrowed authority, and identity-based pressure. We also talk about green flags: teachers who evolve, encourage challenge, build self-trust, and genuinely want...
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I sit down with leadership thinker and complexity expert Jennifer Garvey Berger to explore what leadership really looks like in an anxious, fast-changing world. We dig into mind traps, adult development, and why leading today isn’t about having the answers, but building the capacity to work with complexity, uncertainty, and multiple perspectives. We talk about the breakdown of trust in institutions and leaders, how anxiety shrinks our circles of trust, and why people often look for strong or even bullying figures when they feel powerless. Jennifer explains adult developmental stages in...
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Dr Helen and I explore what resilience coaching really means in today’s stressed, overstimulated culture. We look at burnout, nervous system regulation, and why simple tools are often not enough without community, meaning, nature, and spiritual depth. We discuss coaching young men, addiction to phones, games and ultra stimulation, and how technology is actively undermining resilience. We also cover co regulation, ritual, embodiment practices, sleep, and the importance of relationships and financial stability as part of well being. We challenge the idea that holidays fix burnout and instead...
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I’m joined by Shirzad Chamine, creator of Positive Intelligence, to explore what it really means to learn in difficult times. We talk about fear-based “saboteur” patterns, why toxic positivity makes things worse, and how negative emotions can be useful signals rather than flaws to suppress. We look at trauma as something all humans experience on a spectrum, how post-traumatic growth actually works, and why compassion must come before reframing. We also explore religion, secular belief systems, technology, political polarisation, and why both faith and rationality get hijacked by fear...
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In this episode I’m joined again by Dr Helen Machen-Pearce, psychiatrist and long-time autism specialist, to explore what autism really means and how it shows up in coaching, teaching, parenting, and relationships. We talk about the autism spectrum, neurodiversity, and why diagnosis has changed so much over the years. Helen shares how sensory processing, predictability, communication style, and nervous system regulation shape autistic experience, and what coaches can do to work more skillfully with autistic clients. We look at practical coaching adaptations, clear language, structure,...
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Dr Helen joins me again this week to unpack what well-being coaching really looks like in practice, and why it matters so much right now. We talk about burnout, ageing, energy, motivation, and how staying mentally healthy can feel like a part-time job in today’s world. We explore why health is always multifactorial, the dangers of one-size-fits-all advice, and how easy it is to get lost in supplements, trauma theories, or wellness clichés. We also look at what coaches can offer that AI and medicine often can’t: accountability, motivation, lived experience, and a bit of firm, caring...
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In this back-to-basics episode, I'm joined again by Dr Helen Machen-Pearce to explore what it really means to work with the body in coaching. We unpack common misunderstandings, and explore how embodiment offers real-time information, deeper presence, and a way out of endless storytelling. The conversation covers regulation, insight, action, and why so many coaching challenges come down to stress and capacity rather than mindset. We also reflect on the rise of nervous system coaching, the limits of learning through social media, and why embodied skills require practice over time. A grounded...
info_outlineRelationship expert and therapist Alexandra joins me to ask why relationships are hard, how things have changed, getting rid of “red flags”, first date advice, what works in marriage, nuisance, weaponised therapy, attachment theory, places to geek out on it, advice for young people, “vibe check”, boundaries, people pleasing, the “obnoxious stage”, and being a “wise woman”. A really really useful one if you want a relationship of any kind. More information about Alexandra Solomon's work - https://dralexandrasolomon.com/
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