How to debate and dispute 16:125

Release Date: 03/17/2024

Episode 362: The Motivation to Let Go [24:22]

Loving and Living the Quran

Yesterday we reflected on the cost of holding onto grudges. Today we turn to the motivation the Qur’an offers for choosing the difficult path of forgiveness. Allah says: “Let them pardon and overlook. Do you not love that Allah should forgive you? And Allah is Forgiving, Merciful.” (24:22) Before addressing the motivation embedded in this verse, we must acknowledge something honestly: forgiveness is difficult. The Qur’an itself describes it as an act of courage. Why is it so hard? When someone wrongs us, the injury often feels like a threat to our dignity. Holding onto the grievance...

Episode 363: Returning Home [89:27-30]

Loving and Living the Quran

Thirty days ago we began this series exploring the journey of the human nafs toward Allah. We reflected on the full spectrum of who we are: a noble creature before whom the angels bowed (38:72), and a creature of weakness who forgets (4:28). We explored the fitrah, the inner compass of conscience that Allah placed within us. We examined the nafs al-ammarah that pulls us toward desire and the nafs al-lawwamah that awakens discomfort when we stray. We discussed the path of returning to Allah through tawbah, and the courage required to repair our relationships with others through apology,...

Episode 361: The Cost of Holding On [42:40]

Loving and Living the Quran

Yesterday we reflected on verse 42:40 and discussed “aslaha” — making amends with others, which is an important part of setting things right with Allah. Today we turn to the word that comes before it in the verse: “The recompense of evil is an evil like it, but whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah.” (42:40) Before reconciliation comes forgiveness ‘afw. The Qur’an begins by acknowledging something deeply human: if someone wrongs you, you have the right to respond proportionally. Justice is permitted. The Qur’an is not asking you to pretend the harm...

Episode 360: The Harder Turning [42:40]

Loving and Living the Quran

Allah says: “The recompense of evil is an evil like it. But whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is with Allah.” (42:40) This verse recognizes something important: when someone harms us, we have the right to respond proportionally. Justice is permitted. But the verse then points to something higher. Whoever forgives and makes reconciliation, their reward is with Allah. Over the past few days we have been talking about tawbah — returning to Allah and repairing our relationship with Him. Today’s verse shifts the focus to another dimension of repentance: repairing our...

Episode 359: Recognizing Al-Tawwāb [2:37]

Loving and Living the Quran

Allah says: “Then Adam received words from his Lord, so He turned to him mercifully. Surely He is al-Tawwāb, the Merciful.” (2:37) The first time the Qur’an introduces the Divine name al-Tawwāb appears in the story of Adam (as). After being tempted by Iblis and leaving the Garden, Adam experienced the weight of what had happened. In that moment of remorse, he turned back to Allah. But the Qur’an highlights something remarkable: Adam’s turning did not begin with him alone. Allah taught him the words of return — the kalimāt through which he repented. This reveals something...

Episode 358: Tawwab as an Identity [2:222]

Loving and Living the Quran

Allah says: “Surely Allah loves those who turn to Him repeatedly, and He loves those who purify themselves.” (2:222) The Qur’an does not simply praise those who repent once. It praises al-tawwābīn — those who return again and again. The word tawwāb in Arabic implies repetition and continuity. It describes a person for whom returning to Allah is not a rare emergency response after a major mistake, but a regular spiritual rhythm. Repentance becomes a disposition. The people Allah loves are not those who never drift. They are those who do not stay away for long. Imam Khomeini reflects...

Episode 357: You Will Find Him [4:110]

Loving and Living the Quran

Allah says: “Whoever does evil or wrongs his own soul and then seeks forgiveness from Allah will find Allah Forgiving, Merciful.” (4:110) This verse contains a powerful promise. It acknowledges two kinds of wrongdoing: harm toward others and harm toward one’s own soul through sin. Yet the verse does not end with condemnation. It ends with an invitation. If such a person turns and seeks forgiveness, the Qur’an says: “he will find Allah.” The verb used is yajid — he will find. It is immediate and certain. To find something implies it was already there. The verse suggests that Allah...

Episode 356: The Roadmap to Return [66:8]

Loving and Living the Quran

Allah says: “O you who believe! Turn to Allah in sincere repentance (tawbatan nasūḥā). Perhaps your Lord will remove from you your evil and admit you into gardens beneath which rivers flow.” (66:8) This verse addresses believers — people already in relationship with Allah. Tawbah is not only for those far away. It is part of the ongoing life of faith. The Qur’an emphasizes the quality of repentance: tawbatan nasūḥā — sincere, wholehearted repentance. Scholars explain the word nasūḥā in several ways: A repentance done purely for Allah’s sake. A repentance that...

Episode 355 : Do Not Despair [39:53]

Loving and Living the Quran

Allah says: “Say: O My servants who have transgressed against their own souls, do not despair of the mercy of Allah. Surely Allah forgives all sins. Indeed, He is the Forgiving, the Merciful.” (39:53) This verse is often described by scholars as one of the most hope-giving verses in the Qur’an. Notice how Allah addresses the very people who feel most distant: “O My servants.” Even in the moment of transgression, the relationship is not severed. The belonging remains. The Qur’an describes sin as “transgressing against your own soul.” It frames wrongdoing not primarily as...

Episode 354: The Cost of Drifting [83:14]

Loving and Living the Quran

Allah says: “No! Rather, what they used to do has become like rust upon their hearts.” (83:14) Over the past reflections, we have explored the inner landscape of the soul — the fitrah, the states of the nafs, the pull of desire, and the voice of conscience. Recently we reflected on how communities help protect that conscience through mutual guardianship. Today we ask a difficult question: what happens when the soul drifts and does not return? The Qur’an uses the word rān, often translated as rust or a covering over the heart. Classical scholars explain that the human soul begins pure...

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Today we start a series on verses from the Quran that guide us how to discuss, debate and disagree with people.

In the following verse from Sura Nahl, Allah says:

Call unto the way of your Lord with wisdom and goodly exhortation. And dispute with them in them in a manner that is best [16:125]

4 commands are given to the Holy Prophet [as] in this verse.

“(O’ Prophet!) call (mankind)…”
“…to the path of your Lord…”
“…with wisdom and good admonition…”
“…and dispute with them in a manner that is best…”

Scholars explain that “To call . . . with wisdom” may mean

That the one inviting towards God should use knowledge, reason, and understanding to attract people towards God. He should appeal to the natural instinct and the intellect of human beings. People are more likely to respond to arguments which are rational and logical.

Hazrat Luqmān (as) when advising his son, said: My son, learn wisdom and you will become noble, for verily wisdom directs towards religion

that people should call others to religion on the basis of the revelation that has come to them, that is by using the verses of the Quran
Or with firm and truthful words, avoiding obscure language or jargon
The term beautiful or wise exhortation/admonition can be understood to refer to the beautiful expressions that constitute the arguments, proofs, and reminders found in scripture
Admonition that is done with good intention and for the benefit of people being advised as this shows concern for them
It is advice which is offered in a gentle manner, in a manner that would soften hearts, that is, with gentle persuasion and reasonable commands

Good advice, admonition

The second part of the verse deals with the situation that when people are called, they will naturally present their own arguments. And so, how should he respond?

To dispute with them in the best way

one should dispute in matters of religious difference by using logical argumentation based upon sound and mutually agreed-upon principles
It should be done with sincerity, fairness, gentleness and should preserve the dignity of the other person
Without harassment, rudeness, or harshness
It should be free from condemnation and mockery, and not overstated

Reflection:

This verse entails a positive command to action. Invite others towards God. Speak about righteousness and universal values. Invite through example and speech. And when presented with counter arguments, dispute in a gentle and fair manner.

Implementation:

This verse teaches us how to communicate our values and beliefs to others and also how to respond when others do not agree.

Reality is that in relationships and in life, we may find ourselves on opposing sides of an issue. Very often, when this happens, we may get triggered and react in a an aggressive and unhelpful way.

This verse reminds us how to engage in communication when there is clearly a difference of opinion or values.

Firstly, such conversation needs to be done with the right intention. We can speak up for what we believe, defend our truth, remove doubts and misconceptions, but we must always do with respect and compassion. When we dispute or argue in this way, we are not defending our own power of status. We come from a place of respect, love and compassion, intending good for all concerned.

Secondly, wisdom and good advice means that we keep in mind what might be in it for the other person. Why should they listen to us? What is in it for them?

This verse is such a valuable reminder, especially in current times when people are more polarized and divided than ever. By being guided by wisdom and respect in our communication we have the best chance of being heard, influencing others or making a difference.

For the next few days, let us explore the elements of a good discussion or argument.

Today we start a series on verses from the Quran that guide us how to discuss, debate and disagree with people.

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