loader from loading.io

April's Fool

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

Release Date: 04/12/2024

Purpose show art Purpose

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

Cam’s been studying retirement trends for his work lately. One thing’s for sure, he’s not ready! ----- More often than not, when I ask someone who has retired in the past two years, their answer is nearly exactly the same. They say, “Well, retirement’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Why? They worked so hard for it, now they have it. So, what’s missing? My work has steered me into retirement studies. Most people think about money when they think about retirement planning, but I’m learning money is not the only thing you need to plan for. There’s more. And it’s something...

info_outline
Carnival Cruise Ship Crashed Into the Dominican Republic show art Carnival Cruise Ship Crashed Into the Dominican Republic

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

On this week’s Keepin’ It Real, Cam has been away lately but just got back from Spring Break with his kids. Imagine a cruise ship wrecked on a beach and they turned it into a hotel…. ----- Imagine a Carnival Cruise ship out at sea and loaded with passengers headed full speed, for the coast of the Dominican Republic and crashing ashore not far from Punta Cana. Then, rather than clean up the mess, they turn wreckage into a hotel, add a bunch more swimming pools and put loud Bose speakers everywhere, and call it the Hard Rock All-Inclusive Sodom and Gomorrah Resort and Hotel Punta Cana....

info_outline
Ant Farm show art Ant Farm

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam has learned that there are moments in time where a simple guttural sound really really matters. And they can’t accumulate because they expire quickly. All this relates back to an incomplete Christmas present.  ----- I got an ant farm for Christmas. My kids laughed and they told their friends and they laughed but my family came through and on Christmas morning I opened an ant farm. It has a main chamber and two auxiliary chambers. I set it up just like the pictures showed. A few weeks ago, in March, I got the ants for my birthday. Apparently, the farm...

info_outline
AI Me? show art AI Me?

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam has been pitched by a software company to duplicate himself. Who would want another of him? Even he questions his own worth from time to time.  ----- I’ve just come from my accountant’s office where I handed all my tax information to the lady at the front desk. The manilla envelope was much lighter this year than in years past. Last week I had a long talk with an AI guy out of Houston. He said he loved to find people like me – content experts with books and videos and training programs and blogs and podcasts and such. He wants to take all content...

info_outline
Lenten Commitment show art Lenten Commitment

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam realizes that he really had no choice over what he gave up for Lent - it was given to him and he's not happy about it.  ----- Our new puppy continues to rule the house and my life. She was trained by the breeder to urinate on a pee pad which is exactly what it sounds like – an absorbent mat for dogs to urinate on indoors. At our house, that means the carpet. She’ll trot off the hardwood floors, pass the open back door to find the Persian rug and squat and look at me with an expression of “look how good I am!” Meanwhile the whole yard in available...

info_outline
Another Tree show art Another Tree

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam wonders what the life span of a titanium knee is and whether his father might need one or two more with the way he’s going.  ----- My eighty-nine-year-old father is scheduled to get a knee replacement next week. Let me say that again - he’s eighty-nine and getting a new knee and is eager to return to his very active life when the pain subsides. He’s done this once before and wants the same results. People stop me nearly every day to ask about my father. They comment on how healthy he is and how he never slows down. This is true, though I can...

info_outline
In On the Joke show art In On the Joke

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

In a few coastal cities in the deep south, in the weeks before Lent begins, a strange behavior begins to appear. Honorable and respectable people step into a different personalities for a short time. They do it together, and it's a heck of a good time.  ----- Grown people acting like fools for a few days might very well be good for the soul. I’m not sure how large groups, primarily of men, agreeing to behave silly is therapeutic, but it is. I’ll leave it to some psychologist try to explain it. As a participant, though, I assure you, it’s good stuff. Over the top costumes, over the...

info_outline
He Claims to Know show art He Claims to Know

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam Marston admits that from time to time when he’s on his knees at church on Sunday he asks himself what in the world he’s doing. Has he, maybe, lost his mind. ----- The Mayan god of rain was called Cha ac. When drought hit the jungles of Central America fifteen hundred years ago, Cha ac was called upon to send rain. So, the Mayans, led by their shaman, offered a child – children, actually. The archeologists who studied Bartlett Cave in Belize say they found the bones of eighteen children in one area alone, and there were many areas. None of the children...

info_outline
It's the Ritual I Crave show art It's the Ritual I Crave

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam is coming to the end of a month of no alcohol - Dry January. February begins soon, though. And Cam's wondering whether he'll continue on or not.  ----- My dry January has just a couple days left. This is the third consecutive year I’ve participated in Dry January and I’ve remembered again how much I like it. Thirty nights of good sleep. I feel like I’ve lost ten or twelve pounds. My head is clear each day. The benefits are amazing. And, just like the last two years, I wonder why I don’t do this more regularly. When my wife moved to Mobile with...

info_outline
We Got a Puppy show art We Got a Puppy

Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston

On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam's family got a new puppy. It's been nearly ten years since they got their last dog and much of his memory of having a puppy is gone. The memories are coming back fast.  ----- We got a puppy. Her name is Rosie. She’s a doodle of some sort. And while I say “we” got a puppy, truth be told, my wife got herself a puppy and the family will share it with her. My wife stalked Rosie down when the litter was one week old. It was in Hudson, Indiana and she found it through an online search using something called puppyfinder.com. Rosie came from a litter that...

info_outline
 
More Episodes

On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam Marston hypothesizes on what a parenting podcast from him and his wife would sound like.

-----

My wife and I sat together at the beach last week laughing as we retold stories and reminded ourselves of the humor of parenting. Especially as Gen X parents. We decided to compose a social media post together. The date was April first, and that date matters.

The post read the following: We are frequently asked how we’ve raised four perfect children. Here’s our response: We are excited to announce our new Parenting Podcast called Gen X Parenting Tools. Go check it out.

We listed some episode titles:

  • Episode One: Building a Foundation: Hose water and neglect
  • Episode Two: Who needs effective discipline? The effective use of ridicule and humiliation
  • Episode Three: At the Heart of it All is Cynicism.

Lots of people, too many in fact, thought we were serious. Across the top of the post, it read Launching April First. We thought that would be a dead giveaway.

Several asked where they could find the podcast. One cheered enthusiastically, agreeing that we did have four perfect kids, and was excited to hear the show. Lots wrote in reply, “I can’t wait” or “I’ll listen.”

My guess is that we were too subtle. I had hoped people would add new episode titles like Episode Four: Serves You Right – Whatever Just Happened You Had it Coming. Or Episode Five: Maybe it Will Scar, Maybe it Won’t – Either Way Stop Crying.

One person understood quickly that it was a hoax and she wrote: As soon as I saw the line about your four perfect kids, I knew it was a joke. Well, we’re glad you got the joke but, ouch!  

If my wife and I had a podcast on parenting the title would be “Here’s how to fail only about half the time, try not to get your kids to hate you, and hope you get lucky at parenting.” Today, I worry that our practice of making the kids run a lap around the house if they burped at the table at mealtime may have been too extreme. Are they somewhere now sharing their traumatized memories of running outside barefoot in the dark in their pajamas on cold nights? Screaming the whole way around the house “It was an accident. It was an accident.”

Our podcast would be full of situations where my wife and I didn’t know what to do and still don’t.

“Should we have allowed him to go to that concert?” “I don’t know. I’m not sure we did the right thing. I hope we didn’t mess him up. I guess time will tell.”

“Should we have made her change her clothes into something different before that event?” “I don’t know. I’m not sure we did the right thing. I hope we didn’t mess her up. I guess time will tell.”

My conclusion is that in parenting, just like in April Fools posts, there needs to be some self-deprecating humor, less subtlety, and a good bit of praying we didn’t mess it up and that it will all work out in the end.

However, that hose water thing – that may come back to haunt us.

I’m Cam Marston and I’m just trying to Keep It Real.