Widower
Good Grief
On a day like any other, Jonathan Santlofer was suddenly dropped into the chaos of intense grief when his wife of 40 years suddenly died. His losses before this did not prepare him for his upended life. It did not prepare him for the insensitive and alienating things people said to him when he was too vulnerable to respond. It did not prepare him for the internal conflict of whether and how much to share about his intense mourning. He also had the sense that his inability to share his feelings and ask for help were deeply affected by the expectations he felt because he is a man. How did gender...
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Encore: Let Us Be Greater
Good Grief
Adoption is a loss that often lives in the shadows, both in the world and inside of adoptees. Losing everything you've ever known before there are even words to name it, when you are an absorbent, unformed human being can take a lifetime to understand. But it is only by recognizing the loss that adoptees can claim their birthright; a life of beauty and meaning. Michelle Madrid knows this territory from both directions. She is an adoptee and an adoptive mother. She dedicates herself to helping other adoptees claim all the parts of themselves, including the ones they were before they lost their...
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Bring More Cake
Good Grief
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Emma
Good Grief
Diana Kupershmit had the plans for her life clearly mapped out; finish college, graduate school, marry your high school sweetheart, start a family. She was not prepared for the jolt of the unexpected that arrived with the birth of her first child, Emma, who came with severe disabilities. Feeling unable and unprepared to raise a child with such profound needs, she and her husband looked for a family who could give her what she needed and love her too. But fate led Emma back to them, changing Diana's life, her beliefs and her capacity to believe in herself. In the process, she opened to a love...
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Lost Angels
Good Grief
In these times of increasing assaults on the queer community, we replay an episode from 2015 in which Kevin Fisher-Paulson recounted the triplets he and his husband fostered then lost as a result of homophobia. Going on the adopt two more children as the climate improved, his story is a cautionary tale about the family traumas that can come from societal bias. Kevin Fisher-Paulson was the author of the books “How We Keep Spinning,” “A Song for Lost Angels” and “Secrets of the Blue Bungalow.” He lived with his husband, Brian, their two sons and a pack of rescue dogs in the...
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Always There, Always Gone
Good Grief
Marty Ross-Dolen grew up in the shadow of her mother's grief. Her mother's parents had died in a plane crash when she was 14, just 5 years before Marty was born. She knew that her mother was different from her friend's mothers. Knowing this led to Marty trying to protect her mother, never really asking to know the whole story. The ways in which she could still know them were also blocked off. But as an adult, Marty investigated their lives to form a strong relationship with them. As the heads of Highlight Magazine, they were very visible and public. There were also letters and newspaper...
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Breath Becoming AIr
Good Grief
When Dr. Paul Kalanithi faced a stage IV lung cancer diagnosis in his last year as a neurosurgical resident, his wife, Dr. Lucy Kalanithi faced it with him. In the twenty-two months that followed, they continued to work, had a child and he wrote a best selling book . But since his death, how have her grief and her love showed themselves? She made sure that his book, when Breath Becomes Air, was published and promoted, most importantly by her. She carried his love forward into her own life and parenting of their daughter Cady. And she lent her energy to projects that reflect the intersection...
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The Black Widow
Good Grief
When Leslie Streeter's husband, the love of her life, died suddenly after asking for kisses, she struggled to fulfill the life they had built together. Would she be able to complete the adoption of their son, not even 3 years old? How would she raise him alone? And how would she navigate this crushing grief? She would rely on community, family and humor to clear a path, taking one step at a time and guided by what her husband, Scott, had envisioned for them. Slowly, and surely, her way forward would become clear. But the pain of losing Scott, for herself and for their son, would have to be...
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That Good Night
Good Grief
Raised with a keen awareness that everything is impermanent, that all life ends, Sunita Puri was challenged to find a way to come to terms with medicine's inability to accept these truths. Her perspective was at odds with the training she was receiving as a medical student, where any death, even an inevitable one, was a failure. When she was finally exposed to a palliative care rotation she found her home in medicine. Palliative care, which supports patients to live well for as long as possible, brought these two parts of her together. How do her early family teachings in a Hindu family inform...
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The Last Ecstatic Days
Good Grief
Aditi Sethi was a doctor who agreed to act as a death doula for Ethan SIsser, who wanted to die in joy and share it with the world. The extraordianry film The Last ecstatic Days, tells the tale not only of Ethan but of the loving and open community that coalesced around him, fulfilling his deepest wish. Aditi was changed by the commuity that showed up and continues to work towards a world in which death can be seen as a beautiful part of living. Join us as she shares her story. Founder of the and featured in the documentary...
info_outlineWhen Dr. Paul Kalanithi faced a stage IV lung cancer diagnosis in his last year as a neurosurgical resident, his wife, Dr. Lucy Kalanithi faced it with him. In the twenty-two months that followed, they continued to work, had a child and he wrote a best selling book . But since his death, how have her grief and her love showed themselves? She made sure that his book, when Breath Becomes Air, was published and promoted, most importantly by her. She carried his love forward into her own life and parenting of their daughter Cady. And she lent her energy to projects that reflect the intersection between that most impactful walk through cancer with Paul, and her interest in meaning in medicine, patient-centered care and end-of-life care. So it is no surprise that she is on the advisory board of the OpenIDEO end of life challenge, exploring how to improve end of life experiences world wide. Hear how this newest passion connects with what she and Paul experienced during his illness and death.
Dr. Lucy Kalanithi is a Clinical Assistant Professor of Medicine at the Stanford School of Medicine and the widow of the late Dr. Paul Kalanithi, author of the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir, When Breath Becomes Air, for which she wrote the epilogue. She completed her medical degree at Yale, residency at the University of California-San Francisco, and a postdoctoral felllowship in healthcare delivery innovation at Stanford's Clinical Excellence Research Center. Her late husband Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with stage IV lung cancer at age 36 while a chief neurosurgical resident at Stanford. In the 22 months between Paul's cancer diagnosis and his death last year, Lucy and Paul continued to work as physicians and decided to have a baby daughter, and Paul wrote When Breath Becomes Air, which was published posthumously in January 2016 and immediately went to #1 on the New York Times nonfiction bestseller list. At the cross-section of her medical career and her personal experience standing alongside her husband during his illness, she has special interests in healthcare value, meaning in medicine, patient-centered care and end-of-life care. She has been interviewed by PBS NewsHour, Charlie Rose, NPR's Morning Edition, yahoo news with Katie Couric, and the New York Times. She lives in the Bay Area with her daughter, Cady.
