Stress Is Not The Problem...This Is: With Dr. Rachel Goldman
The Selfish Woman
We've all been there: a plan falls apart, a deadline shifts, or a minor inconvenience feels like the end of the world. Or, we spend way too much of our time and energy worrying about 'what if.' We usually blame the situation for how we feel, but today's guest says the 'problem' isn't what's happening - it's how we're wired to react to it. I'm joined by Dr. Rachel Goldman, a clinical psychologist, NYU professor, and a leading expert in the mind-body connection who has shared her insights alongside icons like Oprah and Mel Robbins. Ahead of the April launch of her highly anticipated...
info_outline
The Wrong Life: Ep. 130
The Selfish Woman
I left Spain to figure out what was wrong with me. I had the dream life. The cobblestone streets. The European light. The copper bathtub imported from England that cost eleven thousand euros. And I was miserable in ways I didn't have words for yet. So I left. Convinced I was the problem. I was wrong. In this episode I'm recording from Harrison Hot Springs - sitting in a mineral pool, in the middle of a meditation that turned into a download - and I finally understand what I was actually running from. And why leaving was the most sane thing I ever did. This...
info_outline
You Didn't End Up Here by Accident: Numerology, Patterns & Your Life Path with Ann Perry
The Selfish Woman
What if your life isn't random? In this episode, I sit down with numerologist Ann Perry to break down what your numbers reveal about you, and how they shape your relationships, your patterns, and the way you move through the world. We also dive into: What if your soul chose this life? What if the challenges you've faced weren't random...but selected? And how do you hold that idea without dismissing real pain or turning it into toxic positivity? What You'll Learn: What numerology is, and why it works How your numbers influence your...
info_outline
Why You Keep Overthinking (And What You're Actually Avoiding)
The Selfish Woman
Why do you keep overthinking decisions when you already know what to do? In this episode I break down why overthinking isn't a clarity problem, it's a self-trust problem - and what you're actually avoiding. What you'll learn: Why you say "I don't know" (and what it really means) The hidden reason you stay stuck in indecision How overthinking protects you from uncomfortable truth The identity shift that changes everything One simple question to stop overthinking immediately Key moment from the episode: "You don't say 'I don't know' because...
info_outline
From Netflix's 'Sex, Love & goop' to Erotic Wholeness: Darshana Avila on Asking For What You Want
The Selfish Woman
Darshana Avila left her corporate career and her marriage, and stepped into a life of erotic wholeness. Now she's a Certified Somatic Experiencing Practitioner & Sexological Bodyworker featured on Netflix's Sex, Love & goop with Gwyneth Paltrow - and she's here to talk about what most of us are too afraid to ask for. In this episode, we talk about: Knowing what you want (in sex and in life) and actually asking for it: Why high-achieving women can run companies but can't speak their desires in bed. The identity crisis that led to liberation: How Darshana walked...
info_outline
From Selfish to Sovereign
The Selfish Woman
In this episode I reveal the next level of your journey - from midlife reinvention to full-blown feminine sovereignty. If you're a woman ready to rise into your power, lead with vision, and claim a life that reflects your true worth, this is for you. I unpack the Queen Code (my brand new methodology), share the mythic framework behind the Sovereign Woman, and invite you inside the symbolic castle that holds it all. Consider this your rite of passage. Subscribe, share and leave a review!
info_outline
The Cost of Quiet with Colette Jane Fehr
The Selfish Woman
You've been swallowing your truth, avoiding conflict, and hoping things will change if you're just patient enough. But your silence isn't safety....it's a slow death. This week, I'm talking with Colette Jane Fehr, author of The Cost of Quiet: How to Have the Hard Conversations That Create Secure, Lasting Love, about why we stay silent, and what it costs us. In this episode: Why it's so hard to speak up (even when you know you should) What to do when you get the same response every time you speak up The curse of the good girl (and how it keeps you...
info_outline
Selfish is the Strategy: A New Era Begins
The Selfish Woman
Welcome to Season Five - and to 2026! In this powerful kickoff episode, Valerie pulls back the curtain on what it really means to be selfish in a world that has taught women to disappear. This isn't just a refresher course. It's a full-on reintroduction to the philosophy, fire, and unapologetic truth at the core of The Selfish Woman movement. You'll hear: Why 'selfish' is still the most radical word a woman can claim What the old Good Girl contract cost you, and how to burn it for good Why every powerful woman you admire had to get selfish How to give from...
info_outline
Why Your 'Word for the Year' Fails: And How to Choose One That Changes Everything
The Selfish Woman
Most people choose a word for the year based on what they want to achieve, acquire, or accomplish. But that's not how transformation works. In this episode, I'm sharing why your word of the year should be about who you're becoming, not what you want to get. It's a practice in identity, not goals. A call toward the woman you're evolving into. not a to-do list disguised as intention-setting. I'll walk you through: Why choosing a word based on outcomes keep you stuck in the same patterns The difference between a word that motivates and a word that transforms My own...
info_outline
The Year of the Snake: What You Need to Shed Before 2026
The Selfish Woman
2025 is the Year of the Snake. 2026? The Year of the Fire Horse. If you're familiar about Chinese zodiac symbolism, you know what that means: the Snake sheds what no longer fits. The Fire Horse charges forward with unstoppable momentum. But here's the thing: you can't ride the Fire Horse into 2026 while still carrying 2025's dead weight. This episode is about what needs to be shed now, before the year turns. IN THIS EPISODE, I SHARE: The symbolism of Snake and Fire Horse years: and what they're asking of us right now. What a death cycle actually looks...
info_outline2025 is the Year of the Snake. 2026? The Year of the Fire Horse.
If you're familiar about Chinese zodiac symbolism, you know what that means: the Snake sheds what no longer fits. The Fire Horse charges forward with unstoppable momentum.
But here's the thing: you can't ride the Fire Horse into 2026 while still carrying 2025's dead weight.
This episode is about what needs to be shed now, before the year turns.
IN THIS EPISODE, I SHARE:
- The symbolism of Snake and Fire Horse years: and what they're asking of us right now.
- What a death cycle actually looks like (from someone living it): why you can't 'positive mindset' your way through and what to do instead.
- The difference between shedding and suppressing: one creates space for growth, the other just buries what will resurface later.
- A December ritual for intentional release: specific steps you can take this month to shed what's keeping you small, stuck, or performing.
- Why 'not enough', shame, and old survival strategies have to go: and what becomes possible when you finally release them.
- The gift of radical permission: why The Selfish Year is the book to give yourself (or someone you love) this holiday season.
- What's coming in 2026: a hint at something I'm creating for women ready to make next year their Selfish Year
IF YOU'RE FEELING:
- The tightness of an old identity that doesn't fit anymore
- Exhausted by maintaining 'impressive'
- Ready to stop carrying what's dead
- Curious about what 2026 could look like if you actually chose yourself
....this episode is for you.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
Read the full essay: What a Death Cycle Actually Looks Like (from someone living it)
Get the book: The Selfish Year - perfect for gifting yourself and your friends permission this Christmas
Choose your 2026 word: Are you claiming SELFISH as your guiding intention for next year? Let me know!
SOMETHING'S COMING:
I'm gathering women who are ready to make 2026 their Selfish Year. A community....a container...a place where choosing yourself isn't rebellion, it's a homecoming.
I can't share all the details yet, but if you're feeling the pull toward radical selfishness - stay close.
CONNECT WITH VALERIE:
YOUR DECEMBER PRACTICE:
This month, ask yourself every morning:
- What am I carrying that's already dead?
- What old skin am I ready to shed?
- What wants to emerge in 2026?
Then do one small thing - sage, movement, journaling, walking - to physically release it.
SHARE THIS EPISODE:
Know someone who needs permission to shed what's no longer serving them? Send them this episode. Sometimes the most generous thing we can do is name what's true.
RATE & REVIEW:
If this episode resonated please leave a review on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. It helps other women find The Selfish Woman podcast when they need it most.