LIF #175: Gina Birkemeier: The Story We Inherited Isn't the Only Story Available to Us
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if some of the ways we've learned to move through the world aren't simply “who we are,” but adaptations to stories we inherited long before we knew we were living inside them? In this episode of Love Is Fearless, Doug and Janet sit down with therapist, author, and speaker Gina Birkemeier for a conversation about shame, inherited stories, generational patterns, healing, curiosity, control, and the courage to see our stories differently. Gina reminds us that the strategies we once developed to stay safe and connected can eventually keep us moving at a pace that makes it difficult to see...
info_outline
#174: Why Hadn't We Been Living This Way Before?
LOVE IS FEARLESS
In our last episode, we shared the discovery that has been quietly reshaping our lives: what if Jesus is inviting us, not simply to believe in the Kingdom, but to inhabit our Father's world? Once we began living that way, another question emerged:a Why hadn't we been living this way before? That question eventually gave birth to the Story Maps. We didn't create the maps because we wanted a framework. They grew out of months of discovering what it felt like to trust God's design and participate in the ordinary rhythms of the world He made. Morning light. Movement. Real food. Rest....
info_outline
#173: We Didn't Know There Was Another World
LOVE IS FEARLESS
It's been six months since we last recorded an episode of Love Is Fearless. We thought we were simply taking a break. Looking back, we think we were being invited into a deeper discovery. In this conversation, we share why this season of the podcast feels different. Rather than offering another framework or a collection of answers, we're learning to notice something we had overlooked for years: what if the Kingdom of God is not merely something we believe in, but the reality we were made to inhabit? Together, we explore why the ordinary world has become more interesting than ever—why Jesus...
info_outline
#172: E is for Energy, Not Powerlessness: Why Women Are Exhausted and What God Offers Instead
LOVE IS FEARLESS
If you've been told your exhaustion is a personal failure — that better boundaries or better self-care would fix it — this episode is for you. Because what if the problem isn't how you manage your energy? What if the problem is where it's going? Janet and Doug name a pattern that lives quietly inside countless women's lives: the hidden energy tax of narrative management. The relentless, often unconscious work of holding your own pain and protecting others from the weight of their impact — simultaneously, in the same breath, sometimes in the same sentence. Janet tells her own story in...
info_outline
#171: D is for Dreams: When Survival Replaces Growth
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Introduction: "Pain has a way of interrupting purpose. And when pain lasts long enough, survival replaces growth." This devastating reality defines most of the systems we've built—medical, educational, even in the church. We've become really good at helping people survive, but we've stopped dreaming about helping them flourish. Today we're exploring the difference between empire dreams (optimizing within broken systems) and kingdom dreams (believing God has designed something better than we can imagine). You're in the right place if: You've settled into helping your kids just cope with...
info_outline
#170: The Neuroscience of Agency: How Self-Brain Surgery Restores Family Freedom
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Guest: Dr. Lee Warren, Board-Certified Neurosurgeon Introduction: What if you could change your brain by changing your mind? Board-certified neurosurgeon Dr. Lee Warren joins us to reveal something revolutionary: you're not stuck with the brain you have. Through groundbreaking neuroscience research, we now know that what you repeatedly think about literally restructures your brain. For parents learning to live from agency instead of control, understanding what's actually happening in your nervous system changes everything. Dr. Warren's new book, The Life-Changing Art of Self-Brain Surgery:...
info_outline
#169: C is for Conversations: How We Restore Freedom at Home
LOVE IS FEARLESS
Introduction: In all of history, there are only two ways to govern: by words or by force. As America celebrates its 250th birthday this year, we're asking: How will we govern our homes? Force demands compliance. Words invite relationship. And the operating system our children learn at home is the operating system they'll carry into the world. Today we're exploring how conversations—not arbitrary consequences—build the kind of trust that makes freedom and agency possible. You're in the right place if: Your child is old enough for tough topics (bullying, sexual identity, pornography,...
info_outline
#168: B is for Beautiful, Not Simply Functional
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if the biggest risk isn't failing—but never discovering who God created you to be? In this episode, we revisit the letter B in the Love Is Fearless alphabet with fresh eyes. Back in Season 5 (), we introduced the idea that Beautiful offers safety, healing, and regard—while Functional is just about getting things done. But now we're going deeper. Beautiful isn't about being magazine-worthy. It's about being true. Beautiful is "the most true thing"—what reflects who God created you to be, what reminds you of your Source, what feeds your soul. Functional is what we reach for in...
info_outline
#167 - A is for Affections, Not Addictions
LOVE IS FEARLESS
What if renewing your mind isn't just spiritual advice—it's actual brain training? In this episode, we explore how attention shapes affection, and how the difference between affections and addictions determines whether your family is being transformed or simply managed into conforming to the patterns of this world. We're introducing groundbreaking work on faith and neuroscience (stay tuned for our full interview with him next month), and discovering how Philippians 4:8 is God's prescription for mental health—not toxic positivity, but actual neural formation. This changes...
info_outline
#166: We've Forgotten How To Live
LOVE IS FEARLESS
We've become really good at managing crises, but somewhere along the way, we forgot how to live. In this season premiere, we introduce what it means to restore the lost art of being family—creating homes where a hard life is experienced differently, in secure relationships. This isn't about behavior modification or quick fixes. It's about life cultivation. Whether you're a parent, grandparent, or anyone raising or influencing children, this episode sets the foundation for everything we'll explore together this season. In This Episode, You'll Discover: Why modern parenting has become...
info_outlineThis is the second episode in our Season 7 alphabet series: A is for Affections, Not Addictions. Today we're learning to curate a life that builds affections instead of addictions—and discovering that most families are stuck in a perform/binge cycle that creates neither security nor transformation.
- Why Philippians 4:8 is brain training, not just moral advice—and how attention literally rewires your nervous system
- The core distinction: "Affections form you through love. Addictions manage you through substitutes for love."
- How affections grow in families where needs are welcomed and met through relationship—and how addictions grow where needs are managed in isolation
- Why addictions aren't moral failures or lack of willpower—they're brilliant survival strategies that come at a cost
- What it actually looks like to live life together without an agenda (and why this is easier than it sounds)
- How trauma bonds form even in "good Christian families" through performance-based relating
- Dr. Lee Warren's powerful framework: "You cannot control every thought that enters your mind, but you can choose which ones you rehearse and build a home for."
- Three practical steps to shift from addictions to affections this week
"When you're together in that relaxed, no-pressure environment, your child will often let you meet their needs. They'll ask questions. They'll share what's going on in their heart—because they feel safe."
"What you attend to becomes what you believe. What you believe becomes how you interpret reality. And how you interpret reality shapes your nervous system and your relationships."
3. Ask yourself: "What am I bonding with?" This is the question we asked in Episode #127, and it's one we need to keep coming back to. What are you bonding with? What's influencing you? What are you forming affections with? Are you bonding with habits, ideas, routines, and people who are life-giving—or demanding? Because what you bond with shapes you. So choose wisely. Transformation happens when we intentionally curate a life that forms affections rather than feeds addictions.
- Episode #127: "A is for Affections" (our first exploration of this topic)
- Dr. Lee Warren's work on faith and neuroscience (full interview coming next month!)
- Philippians 4:8 - "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."