LOVE IS FEARLESS

Most people don't realize it's possible to live a life without fear, a life where love removes anxiety and anger and shame from every conversation, every challenge, every decision. LOVE IS FEARLESS is on a mission to help create cultures of love instead of fear--in homes, schools, workplaces, communities, and churches. We believe that truth is essential, trust is crucial, and love is our great hope to build a world without fear. Join us for our podcast, where we’ll offer practical advice that will empower you to bravely choose love every day. Together, we can change the world--YOUR world.

#145 Q is for QUICK to Reconnect and Repair 11/20/2024

#145 Q is for QUICK to Reconnect and Repair You're in the right place if - you've ever wondered why your home sometimes feels like a battleground rather than a safe haven, and you long for more connection and peace. you feel stuck in cycles of fear, control, and performance in your relationships and want to learn how to build a truly supportive home environment. you’re ready to shift from focusing on “good” appearances to creating a home where everyone feels safe, loved, and truly supported. if you want to understand how to make quick and meaningful repairs in relationships, even when things go wrong, to build a culture of trust and resilience. In this episode, we share the practical characteristics of a supportive and unsupportive environment at home. We also share stories about how relationships get stuck or unstuck based on the environment we breathe in. Janet shares a powerful reflection about the families she supports in consulting relationships. "So many times, families reach out because their child is stuck in a chronic struggle. In almost every case, the home environment is “good” based on cultural standards. But the child’s struggle is tied to a family dynamic where safety—explicitly or implicitly—is missing. I’ve seen profound transformation when parents begin to intentionally repair the damage done by a lack of safety. Disabilities become capabilities. Dysregulation becomes regulation. A supportive home environment truly brings healing." Listen to this episode to find great hope and linger in these TAKEAWAYS: Transformational relationships are built on love, trust, and grace, not on control or performance. When love leads, fear loses its grip. A supportive home environment is not perfect, but it prioritizes quick repairs through confession, repentance, and transformation to maintain safety and connection. Making your home a safe place involves more than meeting physical needs—it means nourishing each person’s mind, body, and soul, with joy, rest, order, and healthy boundaries. When we make repairs and lead from a non-anxious presence, we teach our children how to navigate struggles with resilience and security. This helps everyone in the family grow into who God says they are. Follow and and sign up for her newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE - A FRESH TAKE ON LIVING LOVED, at . Visit our recently updated website! Find powerful resources from our friends at . DON'T FORGET - We have MERCH! Find so many possibilities by visiting the on . /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/33675677

#144 P is for PEACE, PATTERNS, and PARENTS 11/06/2024

#144 P is for PEACE, PATTERNS, and PARENTS We recorded this episode less than one week after Hurricane Helene ravaged the southeastern United States, knowing it would publish one day after the presidential elections. Devastating loss is all around. So is chaos. Fear has been eating our peace for lunch since this decade began. Maybe it's because what we're experiencing isn't really peace. Maybe it's pseudo-peace. Listen in as we share wisdom from Dr. Jim Wilder, Dr. Todd Hall, Dr. Curt Thompson, Jamie Winship and more. We start this episode with this working definition of PEACE: Peace is not just the absence of conflict; it’s a deep sense of security and relational harmony. It comes from trusting God, living in our true identity, and being deeply connected to others in love and truth. Peace allows us to live without fear, rooted in our identity in Christ, and to offer grace and connection to others. We share personal stories of chaos and moving on in the direction we learned from insecure attachment patterns - and how that's different than moving on in the direction we experience in secure relationships with God and others. Listen and linger in these TAKEAWAYS: Peace isn’t something we have outside of a secure relationship. It is the gift of a secure relationship. Parents, peace is a gift we’re designed to give our children, so they will learn to receive it from their heavenly Father, too. "And everything I've taught you is so that the peace which is in me will be in you and will give you great confidence as you rest in me. For in this unbelieving world you will experience trouble and sorrows, but you must be courageous, for I have conquered the world!" John 16:33 (The Passion Translation) Ultimately, healing our early attachment wounds and moving toward secure attachment with God and others is essential for experiencing true peace in life. True peace comes from living in our authentic identity, secure in God’s love and grace, and being able to offer that same love and security in our relationships with others. Please pray with us about our upcoming end of year campaign for Because we're excited about a new initiative we get to offer that will have impact and influence on hundreds (maybe thousands!) of families, we're setting our biggest fundraising goal ever. to sign up for our newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE, and to We promised links to these three LIF episodes in today's conversation: An episode from New Year's Eve, 2019 - We talk about the healing power of lament in An episode with John Lynch - DON'T FORGET - We have MERCH! Find fun choices by visiting the on . Thank you, Jana Dickson, for making a donation to for every purchase made from this collection. Together, there is great hope. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/33675652

#143: O is for OUT WITH THE OLD 10/16/2024

#143: O is for OUT WITH THE OLD Once upon a time, gas stations gave you a choice - leaded or unleaded fuel. Now, the choice we make is now how unleaded do we want to be? If we pay more, we get cleaner fuel - which is better for our vehicles, but also better for the environment. We have this choice at home, too. We can either run on the fuel by design or fuel by default. By default, we buy the cheap stuff. Fear and shame get the job done. It burns dirty, but it doesn’t cost much - and it works. By design, we make a different choice. Love and truth are not cheap. They cost us time. They require that we sacrifice the efficiency and control that fear and shame give us in our relationships. But they offer something more that efficiency and control can never provide. Learning to benefit from love and truth as the fuel in our homes, instead of the fuel of fear and shame, is the heart of everything we offer at - and it is the foundational message of this podcast. and an invitation to with families on our website. In this episode, we make key distinctions between "the old way" of fear and shame and "the new way" of Jesus, and we offer these TAKEAWAYS: Life by default offers a good life. Life by design offers an abundant life–more than we can ever dream or imagine. A man-made life conforms us to the patterns of the empire/this world. We are our own source. A God-made life transforms us more and more into the likeness of Jesus - and we only experience transformation when we follow the way of Jesus. The way of Jesus is a God-sourced life. The New Way is the original way. The old way is a knock-off. It’s like buying a counterfeit story and counting on it to be a fairy tale. We are designed to be transformed. We will never be satisfied in a life of conformity–no matter how high we set the standards. As parent and youth leaders and pastors, we get frustrated when we don’t see evidence of spiritual transformation–but we don’t stop to consider that transformation is impossible in a transactional system. Follow and and sign up for her newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE - A FRESH TAKE ON LIVING LOVED, at . Contemplate new ideas in Janet's book - . DON'T FORGET - We have MERCH! Find so many possibilities by visiting the on . /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/33147332

#142: N is for NUTRITIONAL RELATIONSHIPS 10/02/2024

#142: N is for NUTRITIONAL RELATIONSHIPS We're jumping back into THE CURATED LIFE alphabet in this episode - marking places on the map of our new life in Christ in the Kingdom of God. You're in the right place if... you’re ready to make a change - not just in what you’re eating or how much you’re exercising, but you’re ready to look honestly at the stories you’re telling yourself and at the relationships that are having a significant effect on your soul. you feel exhausted by performance-driven living and parenting and want to create a home where love, acceptance, and growth are non-negotiable. you want to understand how meeting your family's true needs can lead to deeper connection, joy, and spiritual health. Doug and I are geeking out right now about the great resources on We're excited about nourishing our bodies in the way God designed them to stay healthy. And we're recognizing that our family relationships need nourishment, too. Without relational nutrition, our relationships shrink instead of grow. Our relationships get sick instead of heal. In today's conversation, we're playing with an analogy that our families are the carburetors in our homes--designed to make clean energy with love, not fear. Transformational relationships offer love in these individual-sized portions: Emotional safety Active listening Grace over performance Consistent routines Conflict resolution Encouragement and affirmation Presence and engagement Shared responsibility Spiritual growth Freedom to struggle Learn more about offering this menu of relational nutrition to your family and linger in these TAKEAWAYS: When we struggle in a culture of fear, we often change the truth. The change conforms us to the patterns of this world and deforms God’s story for our lives. When we struggle in a culture of love, the truth changes us. The change is called maturity, God’s story for our lives. God calls this change transformation. In the kingdom of God, love is a process of meeting needs, not rewarding or punishing behavior. As parents, when we say “I love you” to our child, we mean, “I will meet your needs and help you tell your story more truly.” We can say that to our children because we’ve let God say that to us. We can build homes where families intentionally prioritize transformational relationships, build emotionally supportive environments, and enjoy an identity-focused lifestyle that metabolizes the potential damage of excessive transactional relationships, emotionally immature environments, and a performance-obsessed lifestyle that feels toxic–because it is. Enjoy these resources, mentioned in this episode: - You're The Cure - a conversation with Dr. Ben Edwards and Jamie Winship LOVE IS FEARLESS is the voice of and is a . Thank you for prayerfully considering becoming a ministry partner. to share the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand. You can follow Janet on Facebook and Instagram and sign up for her newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE—A FRESH TAKE ON LIVING LOVED, at . DON'T FORGET - We have MERCH! Find so many possibilities by visiting the on . /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/33147562

#141: "One of Us" - Embracing Our Shared Humanity with David Gregory 08/21/2024

#141: "One of Us" - Embracing Our Shared Humanity with David Gregory We're honored to welcome David Gregory to the Love Is Fearless podcast today. David is a bestselling author known for his compelling storytelling and insightful exploration of human connections, including our connection to God. His upcoming book, One of Us, promises to explore profound themes that resonate deeply with our journey of living loved and fearless. Join us as we dive into a conversation about identity, belonging, and the transformative power of understanding our shared humanity. We highlight these quotes from this retelling of the gospel, set in current times, in modern-day America: "God is going to completely change things up," he announced. "So get ready. Change how you think about God. Believe what he's about to show you." "God is completely changing how your lives are going to work," he proclaimed. "A bigger change than you ever imagined. A new government is right around the corner. God's government. A new system is coming! A totally new arrangement! The bulldozers are already on the way." "The time has arrived to accomplish what I'd come to earth for: to connect people to El Papa." The TAKEAWAYS from this episode are questions for our listeners to play with: Creativity is a gift in the Kingdom of God—and when we’re afraid, we conform instead of create. If you could create anything that would benefit humanity today, what gift would you give to our world? What would be different in your life today if Jesus came to your town? What keeps you from believing He’s here now? “God is completely changing how your lives are going to work,” he proclaimed. “A bigger change than you ever imagined. A new government is right around the corner. God’s government. A new system is coming! A totally new arrangement! The bulldozers are already on the way.” What if Jesus drives a bulldozer? What hope can you find when you trust He’s already changed the world and now we get to live like the change has already happened? One of Us is available on , Amazon, and other online bookstores. David's new website, , is coming soon! Other books by David Gregory include: by Dan Stone and David Gregory LOVE IS FEARLESS is the voice of and is a . Thank you for prayerfully considering becoming a ministry partner. to share the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand. You can follow Janet on Facebook and Instagram and sign up for her newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE—A FRESH TAKE ON LIVING LOVED, at . DON'T FORGET - We have MERCH! Find so many possibilities by visiting the on . /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/32645477

#140 M is for MARRIAGE, MONEY, and MYSTERY 08/07/2024

#140 M is for MARRIAGE, MONEY, and MYSTERY Today’s episode is about how the traditions of fear and law teach us to navigate marriage, money, and mystery–and how safe relationships and secure environments transform our distorted stories. You’re in the right place if… Your marriage is good. You have a good routine. You even have date nights built into your routine. But if you’re honest, even the conversations you share on date nights have become routine–and if you’re really honest, you wonder if there’s something better than a good routine. Your finances are in good shape. You’ve survived COVID, and the inflation of grocery prices has been noticeable to you but not detrimental to your family. You even give an offering at church and make a few charitable contributions to causes you care about at the end of every year. But if you’re really honest, there’s a thought buried deep inside that tries to come to the surface that says, “Playing it safe in the kingdom is different than playing it safe in the empire,”--and you’re curious. Your marriage is not good–or you’re not even married. Your finances are not good either. But you are on a journey of restoration. You’re hungry for wisdom, not just another formula–or a better way to stick to a stale routine or false tradition. We've discovered a hunger for wisdom in our journeys of healing and wholeness. Wisdom is not the same as validation for what we've already known and are desperate to prove because we need to be correct. Being rightly related provides the safety we need to risk changing our minds. Join Doug and Janet in this conversation about marriage, money, and mystery in the kingdom of God and linger in these TAKEAWAYS: The kingdom is a safe place to do the real work of recovering from the empire. The kingdom of God is a wealth of resources, and we experience the benefits of these resources when we see them with the eyes of faith. Contemplation, creativity, and collaboration solve problems that tradition, legalism, and self-effort can't resolve. "When we are powerless to do a thing, it is a great joy that we can come and step inside the ability of Jesus." (Corrie Ten Boom) This is the power of grace. In the kingdom of God, we discover we have personal agency--and that gift gets lost in the empires of this world. Better than that, we find out we have the power of grace. God's agency is more powerful than our own--and we are abiding in Him, and He is abiding in us. These valuable resources are a part of this episode: by Aundi Kolber by Jamie Winship by Julie Menanno Season Three of the LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast - LOVE IS FEARLESS is the voice of and is a . Thank you for prayerfully considering becoming a ministry partner. to share the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand. Follow Janet on Facebook and Instagram and sign up for her newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE - A FRESH TAKE ON LIVING LOVED, at . DON'T FORGET - We have MERCH! Find so many possibilities by visiting the on . /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/32466632

#139: L is for Listening, Language, and Legacy 07/17/2024

#139: L is for Listening, Language, and Legacy The worldview of the state we grew up in significantly impacted our view of personal identity, worthiness, and purpose in life. Our worldview teaches us what to value. It also teaches us our language, including the words we use and the stories we tell ourselves. More than that, our worldview constructs our nervous systems, so even when we want to change, we can't--without supernatural intervention. You're in the right place: If you’re brave enough to admit you’re stuck. It's not that you don't fit it in--you do. You may even be successful. But the underlying stuff that’s nagged you for a while is not going away. It may even be getting worse. If you love God and love church and want to pretend that all this deconstructing faith stuff is a lousy pandemic. You pray it will end soon. OR - you love God, and it’s painful to go to church, and you’re deconstructing your faith, but it seems the new theology you’re embracing is still drawing lines in the sand, which is one of the reasons why going to church is painful and you started deconstructing your faith, to begin with. If you have ever considered this idea, Jesus didn’t come to train a few followers in a new message, who then went out and changed the world. Jesus changed the world and sent out followers who embodied that change because they had trusted and experienced it. They invited others to step into what was already changed because Jesus had already changed everything. The disciples didn’t change the world; Jesus did. The disciples died because people didn’t want the changes Jesus made, but that didn’t re-establish the world to its previous state. This episode is a wild ride, friends. Thank you for believing in the changes Jesus made with us. We conclude this conversation with these TAKEAWAYS: We’re either going to listen to the stories written in our nervous systems, or we’re going to listen to God. Listening to God will rewrite our stories because it will rewire our nervous systems. New relational experiences matter because those experiences are how we construct a new nervous system that allows our new identity to live and have an impact. Without building a new nervous system, we’ll try to live in our true identity in a false state. For such a time as this, the impact of our God-given identity will be as a part of the construction crew for God’s kingdom. Our identity is our gift to the world. The kingdom is here now, and we’re building it. A new state. A new worldview. LOVE IS FEARLESS is the voice of and is a . Thank you for prayerfully considering becoming a ministry partner. to share the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand. Follow Janet on Facebook and Instagram and sign up for her newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE - A FRESH TAKE ON LIVING LOVED, at . Contemplate new ideas in Janet's book - . Contemplate new ideas in Jamie Winship's book - DON'T FORGET - We have MERCH! Find so many possibilities by visiting the on . /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/32056077

#138: K is for KING, KINGDOM, and KEY CHANGE 07/03/2024

#138: K is for KING, KINGDOM, and KEY CHANGE If you’ve listened to even a few of our latest episodes, you know we’re digging in pretty deep into Jamie Winship’s teachings about our God-given unique identity and his teachings about worldview. Why is identity and worldview important? Jamie reminds us that organized religion is very resistant to paradigm shifts, and he explains it this way. “We’ve exchanged the great commandment for the great commission. Instead of lovers, we’re theological conflict starters, with a goal of overpowering.” How we see the King determines how we interact with the King. How we see ourselves determines how we interact with the King. How we see the Kingdom determines how we impact the world. In this episode, we remind ourselves that the kingdom is about a family. God is our Father. We linger in the dynamic sweetness of this question, "What does it look like to live confidently as His child?" Father is singing a song over us as His children and we may have missed the key change. The kingdom of heaven is at hand. That changes everything. Join us in this new conversation, and prayerfully consider these TAKEAWAYS: Changing how we see ourselves, how we see the King, and how we see the world impacts how we engage with God, how we engage our stories, and how we impact the world. We have a King who sets us free and who came to earth to show us how to live free, not simply to announce we’ve been set free. This journey in our earthly bodies is experienced in the Empire, but the story Father has written for our lives since before the beginning of time is experienced in the Kingdom of God. The Kingdom of God is at hand. LOVE IS FEARLESS is the voice of and is a . Thank you for prayerfully considering becoming a ministry partner. to share the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand. Follow Janet on Facebook and Instagram and sign up for her newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE - A FRESH TAKE ON LIVING LOVED, at . DON'T FORGET - We have MERCH! Find so many possibilities by visiting the on . /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/31681537

#137: J is for JOY, JESUS, and TRUTH-TELLING 06/19/2024

#137: J is for JOY, JESUS, and TRUTH-TELLING says, "Transformation doesn't happen in a day. Transformation happens daily." And this is true, too: Conforming doesn't happen in a day either. Conforming to the patterns of our insecure attachments happens daily, too. Until it doesn't. Father is committed to our healing and transformation, friends. Our part is to let it happen. We get to keep putting ourselves in the way of faith, hope, and love. We get to keep on remembering that we are in the Father's keeping. Join Janet and Doug in this episode about the power of JOY, JESUS, and TRUTH-TELLING and linger in these TAKEAWAYS - “Your truth is a trap. For me in my story, the first step was surrender. But surrender wasn’t giving up, it was giving into a process of confrontation of my dysfunction that would lead to transformation and the renovation of my heart–to use the language of Dallas Willard.” Chris writes about the trap of self-creation in his book, . This quote is from a podcast conversation Christ had with Dr. Lee Warren. In that same podcast, Dr. Warren said - "Our great Physician designed our minds to interface with Him and influence the wiring of our brain to optimize the function of our bodies. And He did that so we can live this life we’re created to live. We are transformed so we can help other people transform. (Isaiah 61)" Insecure attachments are the patterns of this world. Being transformed happens when we participate in the renewing of our minds and building an earned, secure attachment to Our Father–who still speaks. “Abide in Me” means more than we can imagine. (Janet Newberry) Janet and Doug mention these resources in this episode - Follow Janet on and and sign up for her newsletter THE CURATED LIFE - A FRESH TAKE ON LIVING LOVED at - by Julie Mananno, by Janet Newberry LOVE IS FEARLESS is the voice of and is a . Thank you for prayerfully considering becoming a ministry partner. to share the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand. DON'T FORGET - We have MERCH! Find so many possibilities by visiting the on /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/31681482

#136 I is for IDENTITY, IMAGINATION, and INNOVATION 06/06/2024

#136 I is for IDENTITY, IMAGINATION, and INNOVATION Episode #136 is all about wiping the fog off the mirror and looking more clearly at our worldview. For a long time, "worldview" was a philosophical concept, but it wasn't very practical to us. This episode unveils the freedom we find when we admit there's more than one way to see the world. God doesn’t see us the way the world does. God doesn’t see the world the way we do either. Seeing ourselves from God’s perspective is a big deal. Seeing the world from God’s perspective is a big deal, too. How does God view me? That’s my identity – and He knows me best because He made me. How does God view the world? That’s the worldview I want to see. You’re in the right place if - You’re ready to live in peace. Our lifestyles are sourced in fear and scarcity. Our souls are cluttered. Even though our identity with God is settled for eternity, we’re distracted here and now. Fear–in one form or another– prevents contemplation so we stay stuck in false identities and false traditions–that keep us living in conflict instead of at peace. You’re curating a life of faith–intentionally putting yourself in relationships with people who help you see yourself the way God does…and who help you see life (and the world) the way God does, too. You’re risking something other than a status-quo life. You’re trusting that voice inside you that tells you there’s more than the current state of our social structure and the values that come with a traditional life. God isn’t building an empire; He’s building a kingdom—and we believe that, before the beginning of time, He knit us together in our mother’s womb with unique identities. That means God has wired us to contribute our gifts to each other, to our community, and to the world–to help bring His Kingdom on earth as it is in heaven. And He’s wired us so that we need the gifts others are wired to contribute, too. TAKEAWAYS - Living loved happens more often in a connection worldview than in a separation worldview–and living loved generates a connection worldview, too. Giving what others need and receiving what we need is a dynamic way to explain what it means to love one another. God is asking us, “Can I help you think differently about the world around you?” Fear is the biggest obstacle to innovation. A worldview based on love and interconnectedness is necessary for positive change. Learning to view ourselves and the world the way God does is becoming my new way of understanding how Jesus, the Source of our lives, gives sight to the blind. LOVE IS FEARLESS is the voice of and is a . Thank you for prayerfully considering becoming a ministry partner. to share the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand. DON'T FORGET - We have MERCH! Find so many possibilities, including an 11x14 poster for sale for only $12 that reads - She was not hindered by fear. Nor was she penned in by personal preferences. Her mind was curious and her heart was open and alive. Visit the on In Season Three, we started a new conversation with Scott Morrison in episode Check it out! We found inspiration for this episode in many sources, including these podcast episodes - Janet's book shares innovative ideas for families and educators about childhood in a connected worldview. Get your copy on today. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/31630077

#135: H is for HONOR, HUMILITY, and HOPE 05/15/2024

#135: H is for HONOR, HUMILITY, and HOPE LOVE IS FEARLESS is a lifestyle that embraces intentionally curating a personal narrative with a different MO because we recognize experiences of peace instead of anxiety and love instead of fear. Season Five is a journey through THE CURATED LIFE alphabet. We're making a map of these experiences in the Kingdom of God. You’re in the right place if - You’re aware of the dangers, risks, and threats in the world today but you don’t want your nervous system shaped by what you’re afraid of. You want your nervous system transformed by what you love–and what loves you. You’ve seen enough on social media or read a few new non-fiction bestsellers to notice that people with trustworthy credentials are starting new conversations. The “power through” and “pull yourselves up by your bootstraps” strategies many of us have relied on for ourselves and in our parenting–are part of the problem with our relationships, our mental health, and the distance we sense in our relationship with God. You’re not lying to yourself any more about the risks of too much sugar, too many artificial ingredients, or too little sleep–and you’re willing to examine how you’re curating a life that builds a secure nervous system and safe relationships, not just a secure financial story or an admirable social media front. For too long, we've predicted our future based on our history instead of based on our God. A future dependent on measuring up depends on a lifestyle fueled by fear. Fear is the gas we self-generate. A future dependent on growing up into the identity God gives us (not based on our successes or failures) depends on a lifestyle fueled by love. Love is a gift we receive from God and others. In the Kingdom of God, we live from our identity not from our resume. When our history is touched by humility, our stories honor God instead of ourselves. Linger for a while in these TAKEAWAYS: God doesn’t see us as beneficial based on our success according to worldly standards. God sees us as His children and He equips us to bring the kingdom to the empire, not the empire to the kingdom My history is not my future if my personal narrative is set in the Kingdom of God. We are going on a journey of transformation because we recognize that what we have become is not all we can be. The challenge isn’t simply becoming something different. The challenge is unbecoming all we were never meant to be and becoming all we are invited to be as a community that trusts God in a broken world. We share wisdom from these friends and resources in this episode: John Lynch/ by Robert Farrar Capon LOVE IS FEARLESS is the voice of and is a . Thank you for prayerfully considering becoming a ministry partner. to share the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand. It’s not just a tagline—together, there is great hope. Subscribe to Janet's newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE, at. Also, shop fun merch from the . Every purchase from this collection helps support our work with /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/31055023

#134: G is for GRIEF, GRATITUDE, and GENEROSITY 05/01/2024

#134: G is for GRIEF, GRATITUDE, and GENEROSITY In season five, we’re having conversations about the atmosphere we breathe in, the rhythms we create, and the relationships and ideas we trust—and how different these things are when we live loved instead of living afraid. You’re in the right place if - You’re ready to create a lifestyle for yourself that builds a context for transformation instead of a context for conforming to the patterns of this world. You’re NOT ready to plant a flag in the land of losing, even though you’re NOT winning right now–at least not in the way the world describes victory. You’re recognizing that when you orient your life around a personal identity based on what you have, what you do, and what other people think of you - you learn to navigate painful emotions in ways that write the next scenes of your life based on your pain instead of based on God’s presence in your pain. In this episode, we're discovering that the place of grief is often where we discover our hearts' longings and our real values. Pain wants us to listen to fear instead of Love, but gratitude—not for the pain but for God's presence with us in the pain—is an antidote to fear. If you're experiencing grief in this chapter of your story, join Janet and Doug on this episode and linger in these TAKEAWAYS: Ebenezer is a Hebrew word that means “stone of help.” It has become synonymous with the idea of God reaching down to lend a helping hand to those most in need. In the Kingdom of God, we can set an Ebenezer stone in the parts of our story where things are not good because something’s missing–or because someone is missing. The stone can be a reminder of what we found in our grief that was heavy with value, not simply heavy with pain. GRATITUDE is a CONFESSION of trust in God's goodness. It is a way of moving from our sympathetic nervous system to our parasympathetic nervous system and holding God’s hand as He leads us to the playground of our mind. GENEROSITY is the fruit of living loved instead of afraid. In the Kingdom of God, we have the benefit of not being our own experts. There is an order to things. Wisdom takes the lead. We get to follow. And we get to choose who we follow - who influences us. In this episode, Janet says, "Most of the conversations we have in our marriage are about something we’re reading, listening to, or noticing in the lives of people we trust to lead us. We share wisdom from these friends and influencers in this episode: - Janet read a quote from this article in this episode. LOVE IS FEARLESS is the voice of and is a . Thank you for prayerfully considering becoming a ministry partner. to share the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand. It’s not just a tagline—together, there is great hope. Subscribe to Janet's newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE, at. Also, shop fun merch from the . Every purchase from this collection helps support our work with /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/31054998

#133: F is for FREEDOM 04/17/2024

#133: F is for FREEDOM You’re in the right place if: You’re curious about FREEDOM because you want it but you’re not experiencing it. You’re afraid of FREEDOM because when you offer it to your kids, life seems to go off the rails and circumstances seem to get worse instead of better. Control seems to be a better option. You’ve heard the original good news of the gospel—that you’re not a sinner striving to become a saint, but a saint who sometimes sins—AND you’re wondering why you feel stuck in your old story instead of hopeful in your new life. In this episode, Doug and Janet are playing with putting these four words together like the four sides of a puzzle: freedom, connection, completeness, and maturity. This is the puzzle we’re discovering called LIFE in the KINGDOM. Contrast those four sides of the puzzle: bondage, separateness, scarcity, and immaturity. This is the puzzle we’re walking out of called LIFE in the EMPIRE. Here's why it matters: When I believe in my completeness, my self-talk is generative, my desires are generous, and my relationships bear good fruit. When I believe in my lack, I tell myself a distorted self-story. My self-talk is critical. My desire is to control what you think of me and protect my image. I need to consume more, and I believe what I need to acquire is scarce--so I live in conflict with others. In the empires of this world, it is impossible for me to love you because I don't see myself truly. This episode is deep, wide, and practical. Linger in these takeaways and share this one with your friends. Freedom in Christ is most realized when the person reflecting me back to me sees me as complete instead of lacking. Discovering how to persevere in struggle and recover from getting off course when I pursue the desires I follow, believing lies about myself, is a key part of my journey to wholeness and maturity. JAMES 1:2-5 (NIV) Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. LOVE IS FEARLESS is the voice of and is a . Thank you for prayerfully considering becoming a ministry partner. to share the good news that the Kingdom of God is at hand. It’s not just a tagline—together, there is great hope. Subscribe to Janet's newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE, at janetnewberry.com. Also, shop fun merch from the LOVE IS FEARLESS collection, including T-shirts, hoodies, kitchen towels, posters, and more. Every purchase from this collection helps support our work with /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/30644768

#132: E is for ENERGY 04/03/2024

#132: E is for ENERGY The kingdom of God offers us a different kind of energy than the empire of the world. The source of kingdom energy is God. His energy is love, and when we’re aware that we’re plugged into this power, we experience peace--not anxiety. Love energy is supernatural energy. That's one big reason why living loved feels so different from living afraid, so you’re in the right place if - You’re tired of running on the fuel of fear and anxiety and you’re hungry for permission to believe in something more. You enjoy hearing supernatural stories that empower you to believe in more than your natural eyes can see and your natural ears can hear. You’re ready to live a life trusting that you are valuable and protected by the God of the Universe who is your Father - and who is inviting you into a love story of epic proportions because you are His child. In this episode, Janet tells a supernatural love story, and Doug reminds us that the way things are in our world is not the way things can be in the kingdom. God is making all things new—and that’s His provision. He protects the vulnerable and writes a new story that's impossible without Him. Dare to imagine a supernatural love story with God as you listen to this episode and linger in these TAKEAWAYS: Don’t simply pray for broken relationships to be healed. Pray for God’s power to bring forth a new relationship to enjoy where broken has been something you’ve lived with for too long. Empowered means “giving someone the authority or power to do something” or “making someone stronger and more confident.” Being empowered in the Kingdom of God is very different from being empowered in the systems that exist in our world today because the roots of these systems were built before Jesus gave us a new heart, a new covenant, and ushered in a new kingdom. The energy in the kingdom of God primarily protects the vulnerable and provides the priceless. As followers of Jesus, we have this power, too. We are empowered and can empower others - with love, not fear. Janet and Doug talk about these resources in this episode: It’s not just a tagline—together, there is great hope. Subscribe to Janet's newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE, at . Also, shop fun merch from the collection, including t-shirts, hoodies, kitchen towels, posters, and more. Every purchase from this collection helps support our work with /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/30644698

#131: D is for DREAMS 03/20/2024

#130: C is for CONVERSATIONS 03/06/2024

#130: C is for CONVERSATIONS We’re recording this episode one month after the end of the holiday season - and as much as we all get excited about Christmas parties and family gatherings…most of the families we talk to are still navigating some confusing and maybe some painful relationship struggles that have carried over into the new year. You’re in the right place if - You come from a good family but your family relationships are some of the most challenging - or maybe most painful. You want to be a good family member and do the right thing but honestly, sometimes, family is the place where there are more accusers than defenders. The conversations in your family of origin haven’t changed over time because the people in your family haven’t changed. The most emotionally unstable person gets to be in charge - or have the most influence. People still choose sides as a way of self-protecting or self-promoting. When you think about it, your good family has as many things in common with a gang as it does with an alliance. You’re hungry for people who can help you heal instead of simply winning an argument or being the star of the show at family reunions. You’re more excited about being transformed than being conformed to the patterns of your childhood that taught you to live afraid in the first place. Your family matters because those relationships formed your identity - whether it is the identity that God imprinted in your DNA or not. If you’re being intentional about learning to live loved instead of afraid at this season of your life right now, learning to live afraid was what you learned first in your family of origin. The Curated Life alphabet will give you some new landmarks to put on your daily map - so you can build a life and a community that will impact and influence you with the love that reminds you who God says you are. Listen in as Doug and Janet talk about "family conversations" in the kingdom of God and linger in these TAKEAWAYS: Conversations will either transform us or conform us to the patterns of this world. Conversations are culture carriers. We learn who we are and what we value in the words we hear and speak - and the patterns we develop for how we exchange words with each other - or the patterns for how we avoid exchanging words with each other. Safe, generative, deep conversations are one of the most defining signposts in a culture of love - and shallow conversations riddled with guilt, shame, bullying, sarcasm, and dismissive accusations are possibly the most recognizable negative cycles in a culture of fear. Conversations will either transform the world around us or conform the world around us. It is not the world that generates our conversations. It is our conversations that generate our world. In this episode, we suggest listening to others have safe, generative, deep conversations as part of your Curated Life. Susie Larson and Jamie Winship have some of the most transformative conversations we've heard. A few suggestions include - This LOVE IS FEARLESS episode with John Lynch shares the power of PERMISSION in a Curated Life. Janet's book includes questions that build generative conversations. Doug read a selection from Jamie Winship's book to help you experience the difference between generative and formulaic conversations. Share today's episode with a friend and then share your considerations and questions with each other in a safe, generative, deep conversation. Together, there is great hope. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/30246043

#129: Beauty Is Hope 02/21/2024

#128: B is for BEAUTY 02/07/2024

#128: B is for BEAUTY You’re in the right place if - You’re wondering why you’ve checked off all the boxes on the roadmap to success but you’re still struggling - with your habits, your finances, your spouse, or your emotions. You’re wondering why you keep getting sucked into the same destructive cycles in your story even if you’re really smart. You’re beginning to recognize that your relational assets are as important in your story as any other assets. In season five, we’re committed to helping you embrace a primary goal of living loved instead of simply measuring up. Trying to measure up makes us afraid of not measuring up. Living loved often helps us experience success without the artificial ingredient of fear. The Curated Life alphabet is going to give you some new landmarks to put on your daily map - so you can build a life and a community that will offer you the love that doesn’t leave you empty inside. When you're living loved, loving others happens naturally. Doug and Janet start some fiesty new conversations, tell us why BEAUTY is vital in a living loved story, and leave us with these TAKEAWAYS - The love of God is a source of comfort and challenge. We need both to help us heal and grow. Beauty is a reliable source of comfort. Comfort is what we need to feel safe - and when we feel steady, we naturally move out into the world and embrace the challenges that help us grow. Beauty is a reliable source of challenge. Beauty challenges me to trust that I am who God says I am. I am the beneficiary of his gifts of beauty - and I am created in his image, so my heart will experience deep satisfaction when I bring beauty to the world the way he does. It’s not just a tagline - together, there is great hope. Subscribe to Janet's newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE at . Also, shop fun merch from the to find t-shirts, hoodies, kitchen towels, posters, and more. Every purchase from this collection helps support our work with /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/29831178

#127: A is for AFFECTIONS 01/24/2024

#127: A is for AFFECTIONS We're fresh into a new season titled The Curated Life - A Fresh Take On Living Loved and we're circling back to this vital question: What if you create a lifestyle for yourself that builds a context for transformation instead of a context for conforming to the patterns of this world? Here’s what we’ve discovered - The more an environment is about being perfect or measuring up to a standard, the more people hold their breath, judge each other, and hide their issues. Environments that focus on “being good” are cultures of fear and fear brings out the worst in us. Fear writes our stories with rhythms and habits that we are ashamed of, and then we curate a life while we’re trying to deal with our shame. The more an environment is about being whom God created you to be, the more people breathe easy, love each other, and drag their issues into the light to ask for help. Environments that focus on identity are cultures of love and love brings out the best in us. Love writes our stories with different accessories, rhythms, and habits that transform us instead of conforming us - and shame is never a part of a transformation story. Listen as we talk about Taco Bell, living in a small town, adverse childhood experiences, beneficial life experiences, and why curating a life of life-giving affections can heal your nervous system and help you discover the power to move past your addictions. We laugh a lot in this episode and we leave you with these powerful TAKEAWAYS: Oftentimes, what makes systems thrive is what makes people sick. Give yourself permission to choose what’s good for you, not simply what a system convinces you is “good.” Life is designed to be a collection of experiences and relationships that transform us, not simply a systematized means to a predetermined end. When you look at how you’ve spent your time at the end of each day, ask yourself, “Am I okay with the things that are influencing my nervous system, my body, my thoughts, and my relationships?” "The information you consume each day is the soil from which your future thoughts are grown. Nobody stumbles into a well-lived life. It has to be cultivated. Reflection and review are critical." (James Clear, author of ) It’s not just a tagline - together, there is great hope. Subscribe to Janet's newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE at . Also, shop fun merch from the to find t-shirts, hoodies, kitchen towels, posters, and more. Every purchase from this collection helps support our work with /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/29356443

#126: How To Live Loved Instead of Afraid 01/10/2024

#126: How To Live Loved Instead of Afraid Welcome to Season Five! We're calling this season "The Curated Life - A Fresh Take on Living Loved" because we’re all at a real fork in the road. It’s a brand new year. Which direction will you go? How will you curate your story? We only have two choices and it’s often not what we think. We’re not looking at a new year, hoping that more good choices and less bad choices will finally tip the scales in our favor. No matter what our culture keeps telling us, conforming to the patterns of this world will never lead us to the deepest desires of our hearts. Even if you're tempted to pursue the traditional resolutions of more exercise and less overeating, you're not going to wake up one day excited to get out of bed and embrace the day if the best you've got to guide you is a list of how many minutes you need to keep your heart rate up and how many calories is your limit. The new life we're invited to celebrate because of the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus won’t fit in the patterns of this world because the patterns of this world teach us how to live and move and succeed and fail in a culture of fear, not a culture of love. Join Janet and Doug and they begin a season of community-wide storywork and an invitation for you to risk a relationship with God as your narrative therapist. This year's challenge for all of us is to embrace our stories as curators and cartographers, combining theological and neurological discoveries with personal life experiences to create a map out of fear stories into the land of love stories. Listen now and linger in these TAKEAWAYS: The CURATED LIFE alphabet teaches you to read the label on the culture in your home, your child’s school, your church, and your community so you can recognize artificial ingredients that are teaching us all to live a life Jesus set us free from. We don’t need to look too closely to see the catastrophic impact on our stories. The CURATED LIFE alphabet is also a list of essential ingredients for participating with God as your own narrative therapist to build a culture of love. These ingredients offer fresh energy, connection, and safety that automatically clean out and restock the pantry of your habits, rhythms, and routines. The CURATED LIFE alphabet is not a list of laws, resolutions, and rules. The alphabet is about the atmosphere you breathe in, the rhythms you create, and the relationships and ideas you trust. It’s not just a tagline - together, there is great hope. Subscribe to Janet's newsletter, THE CURATED LIFE at . Also, shop fun merch from the to find t-shirts, hoodies, kitchen towels, posters, and more. Every purchase from this collection helps support our work with /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/29356418

#125: How To Help Your Child Live A Secure Story 11/29/2023

#125: How To Help Your Child Live A Secure Story We're starting a new conversation about helping our children live loved instead of afraid. You're in the right place if: Your child is experiencing a lot of success - but your relationship with your child is struggling. The distance between you keeps getting bigger and bigger - and you’re more convinced than ever that putting one foot in front of the other on the familiar path you’ve been walking is going to offer any relief. Your relationship needs something transformative. Your child is rebelling. They’re getting in trouble at school and stay in trouble at home. You’ve tried punishment. You’ve tried second chances and third chances and more chances than you can count and there’s not enough chances, it seems, to change the outcome. You need more than relief. You need help. Your home is beyond busy. Honestly, it feels like chaos. Some days, you wonder if staying busy has become a coping mechanism because when you’re not rushing from one activity to another, you notice that everyone’s just going through the motions but not really alive. It’s painful…so you sign up for one more vacation, one more sport, one more private lesson. This is the good life, right? Who has time to wonder? Go, team! Listen in as Doug and Janet share three practical ideas that help children build a secure nervous system even while experiencing insecure circumstances. Help us celebrate 25 episodes in 2023 with these TAKEAWAYS - needs your support. We’re helping more and more parents experience more and more security in their relationships with God and others. When parents’ stories move from insecure to secure, our children have great hope. Please prayerfully consider donating generously to . Our kids need safe relationships with secure adults who are courageous enough to say, “Stop. Don’t go that way anymore. Walk this way.” at the same time they’re saying, “Haven’t you done this enough by yourself?” We help families find their narrative. We look together at their story and find the subplots that are written in fear instead of love. Together, we move through the steps of asking God to speak truth to the lies we’re telling ourselves because we’re afraid - and then we help parents and children learn to follow the voice of Love. We help children build more than success stories - we help children build secure stories. Together, there is great hope. Reach out if you're hungry to participate with love instead of fear in your own story. We'd love to walk with you beyond the fork in the road. Email or . to contribute to John 15 Academy's end-of-year giving campaign and help Doug and Janet meet the 2023 goal of $20,000. Visit this link for merch. Sign up for Janet's newsletter by visiting. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/28765293

#124: How do you write a love story? 11/15/2023

#124: How do you write a love story? Did you know there is a formula for love stories and we're all living in one? If you haven't gotten to the part where love casts out your fears, your story's not over yet! That's good news! Even better...that's THE GOOD NEWS! You’re in the right place if - You’ve given up on living a love story. If you were brutally honest, you don’t even want a love story anymore. You’ve found a comfortable rut on the road of self-reliance and you've decided connecting with people is too complicated. You’re afraid of a love story. You’ve risked loving other people more than once and it didn’t end well. Letting others love you hasn’t worked so well either. Fear is telling you that love is too risky and you’ve agreed with fear long enough to get comfortable living afraid. You’re hungry for a love story - or at least a true story. Some parts of your story are so propped up with self-protection and self-promotion that you wonder if it might be easier to simply show up honestly in your story instead of hidden. You’re curious about living in a secure story instead of an anxious one. Listen in as Doug and Janet share both the formula for love stories and the great hope we have when life gets difficult. Every time we get to a place of suffering in our stories, we're invited to participate with Love, not fear. Our children do, too. We can help them build a secure story they don't have to rebuild when they're not kids anymore. Share this episode with a friend who needs the truths in these TAKEAWAYS: Many times in a crisis, having our felt needs met often opens our hearts to the truth that meets our real needs. That’s one reason why we need people in our stories who know us well. They’ll not rush in to insist we look too fast at the new path that will lead us out of the crisis. Instead, they’ll remind us who God says we are by simply being with us and reminding us we are valuable, no matter what chapter we’re on in our love stories. Jesus didn’t say, “Come to me all who are crushing it, living your best life, and I will give you rest.” He said, “Come to me all who are weary, and I will give you rest.” Jesus knows where you are in your story. He’s not freaked out by your progressive complications. The gospel is proof that He wants to hold your hand on a new road. So many times, we freak out about our problems. God knows freaking out only makes our problems worse because fear never puts us on the same road that the truth will point us to. That’s why God is the safest place to run to when we’re afraid because we’re struggling. Having a safe place meets a vital felt need, and God’s truth meets a real need, too. Many times, a miracle comes next. Together, there is great hope. Reach out if you're hungry to participate with love instead of fear in your own story. We'd love to walk with you beyond the fork in the road. Email or . to contribute to John 15 Academy's end-of-year giving campaign and help Doug and Janet meet the 2023 goal of $20,000. Visit this link for merch. Sign up for Janet's newsletter by visiting . /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/28559588

#123: Changing The Standards For Childhood 11/01/2023

#123: Changing The Standards For Childhood Don't let the title of this episode fool you. You’re in the right place if... ...you’re tired. You’re tired of your job, you’re tired of the struggle that won’t seem to end with your children (or your parents), and you’re tired of the chaos in the world that gives you a million reasons to be afraid. ...you’re curious. You’ve noticed on the days you take a break from the crazy cycle and go stare at a beach or hike in the mountains, there’s still something inside of you that dares to be moved by inspiration. You’re not dead yet, and you think you’re ready to hope that there’s more to life than earning and proving and power. ...you’re healing. Maybe you’ve risked therapy. Maybe your therapist is helping you let go of lies and live in more truth. Maybe your hope muscle is getting stronger, and you’re ready to experience more freedom. Doug and Janet start a new conversation in this episode, weaving ideas together from 's book, , and Janet's book Listen in as they reveal the secret to living the power of truth and love instead of fear and lies, and linger in these TAKEAWAYS: Schools - and families - are conditioned to promote those who learn without struggle and “wonder what to do with” those who do. But what if struggle is a gift rather than a red flag signaling a failure to perform? And what if performing a standardized task isn’t the real goal? (by Janet Newberry) How you frame your struggle will be how you respond and manage it because you create realities with your thoughts. (Dr. Caroline Leaf, social media) Identity is something that is received in community through our imagination from God. You don’t come up with your own identity - you receive it in community from above. () "...all human conflict originates from fear, and fear originates from a false view of God, ourselves, and others."(, by Jamie Winship) Follow Janet on and . Find fun merch and support . Together, there is great hope. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/28479542

#122 A Tale of Two Wineskins 10/18/2023

#122 A Tale of Two Wineskins "I’m recognizing that transformation is not possible in an achievement-oriented culture, it is only possible in an identity-oriented culture. When achievement is the goal, our identity will come from our accomplishments, and we'll live fueled by the power of fear. Shame will be the voice we hear. Fear conforms, not transforms." "When we put new theology - even the theology of love, into a culture identified by accomplishments and success, fear will be the fuel we run on. Our children will recognize the voice of Shame more than the voice of Love. Love can help our children make good grades on tests and hit home runs, but if the primary goal of our connection with our kids is to help them achieve, they will not transform. They will conform." Join Janet and Doug as they start a new conversation, blending the wisdom of by Curt Thompson, MD, and by Jamie Winship. Linger in these TAKEAWAYS - There is no shame in the kingdom of God. Jesus took our shame on the cross. The voice of shame isn’t heard when living in our true identity. When we hear the voice of shame, our community helps us listen to the voice of Love. Shame may move us up the ladder in an achievement-obsessed culture, but it will make us sick in ways that medical advancements can’t cure. When fear is the fuel we run on, we introduce an auto-immune disease into our narratives. The only cure is Love. In God’s kingdom, longevity isn’t the goal. We’re not consumed with the target of survival of the fittest, and we don’t have time to waste consuming only what we can earn. Receiving the truth that we are formed in our mother’s womb with the purpose of bringing goodness and beauty to the story of a world in need of redemption - not simply more success, wakes us up in a new worldview, listening to a new voice. Thanks for listening and sharing this episode with others. Please visit to find hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people hear the voice of Love! Together, there is great hope. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/28276112

#121: Exchanging Lies for Love 10/04/2023

#121: Exchanging Lies for Love The inner voice of Love always speaks the liberating truth of God - but our worldly development has programmed us to tune into another voice. We’re more familiar with the voice of fear. We’re more familiar with our own truth than God's truth. This episode is for you if: You’re more familiar with the voice of fear and shame than you are with the voice of love and truth. You know well the language of condemnation, cutting sarcasm, blame, control, and manipulation - but it sounds weird and very uncomfortable when you hear affirmation, encouragement, or simply a compliment. Most of your conversations are transactional - not transformational, or you don’t know the difference between the two. You learned to talk in the dialect of self-promotion and self-protection - or you prefer not to talk at all because staying disconnected from others doesn’t require you to risk connecting with yourself. Or you prefer to talk a lot because you have enough verbal resources to overwhelm almost anyone, and getting the last word in is the best you can hope for. Join Doug and Janet in a conversation that blends the wisdom of two books - by Henri Nouwen, and by Jamie Winship. Linger in these takeaways - In God’s kingdom, our thoughts and our plans are the only places we find lack. There is no lack in the Kingdom of God. Wrong beliefs render us powerless. God’s truth for our lives comes with God’s power to live out that truth. The best part about new life may be that we can hear the voice of Love. Sometimes, we need others who can hear Him on our behalf. When I am afraid, transformational relationships offer me an identity beyond the only reality I can see while I’m stuck in survival mode. Thanks for listening and sharing this episode with others. Please visit to find hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people hear the voice of Love! Enjoy this gift from . Together, there is great hope. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/28214255

#120 Why Survival Mode Might Be Killing Your Relationships 09/20/2023

#120 Why Survival Mode Might Be Killing Your Relationships This LOVE IS FEARLESS episode is for you if - You’re curious about building a different lifestyle to help you heal or restore a relationship because when you stop to think about it, the lifestyle you’re living is based on cultural values, and those values are not helping you enjoy healthy relationships. You’re starting a new relationship. You’re ready to admit that you don’t treat people who are struggling with kindness and empathy - and that’s a sign that you don’t really like yourself very much. You are sitting with the idea that seeing yourself differently will help you see others differently. You’re good at fighting, controlling, manipulating, staying quiet, not rocking the boat, avoiding conflict…you may also be experiencing worldly success…but your relationships are struggling…even your relationship with yourself. In this episode, Doug and Janet start a new conversation about , A Year With the Trueface Team. We discuss how reading good books together gives us a word bank that pulls us out of survival mode into thriving mode. One of the distinct differences in our relationship is the conversations we share - specifically, what we talk about…and that we talk a lot! We both needed to be seen and heard because we’d lived in survival mode for a long time. No wonder God built this new foundation for communication in our marriage. Listen now and linger in these TAKEAWAYS - Survival mode will offer you a lifestyle. It will keep you busy. It may keep your house clean. It may keep your kids on the honor roll and going to church. But it will not benefit your relationships. Only love is a benefit to relationships. Not success. Love happens in a different part of your brain, and we connect with that part when we connect with each other. Survival mode is meant to keep us not dead. It’s not meant to bring us to life. We are created to thrive. Thriving is different from being perfect. When perfection is the goal, we get stuck in survival mode, afraid of messing up. When life is a struggle, connect with God and others…and experience all the bells and whistles of a whole new brain…and new relationships that teach you to like yourself because they don’t freak out when you struggle. Thanks for listening and sharing this episode with others. Please visit to find hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people fear less because their finding LOVE! Together, there is great hope. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/28057839

#119 Creating a Family Identity 09/06/2023

#119 Creating a Family Identity This LOVE IS FEARLESS episode is for you if - Conflict is killing you. You’re seeing a pattern in your relationships, even with yourself. Whenever there’s a disagreement, the result is deconstruction instead of constructive. You know you have a new identity in Christ. You know the theology of grace. You know your new focus in life is love instead of avoiding sin. But when you’re honest with yourself, your story goes around in the same cyclical protection patterns when life is difficult - and you feel stuck. You’re confused about what to do with your emotions. You’ve lived for decades either letting emotions overwhelm you and everyone else in your story - or you’ve lived that long avoiding your emotions, which has only given your body one choice for dealing with other’s emotions, and that’s to avoid them, too. Neither choice is helping you grow - or helping your relationships grow. In this episode, Doug and Janet start a new conversation about a great book - by Patrick Lencioni. Doug and Janet talk about writing a playbook for yourself and your family because creating clarity in your home can help your family grow instead of survive - or divide. We also share the playbooks we use for , and this LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast - to guide our decisions and help us work smart while staying organizationally healthy. Janet offers to share her personal playbook when you sign up for her newsletter, Listen now and linger in these TAKEAWAYS - Seth Godin reminds us, “Every belief can feel mainstream if we immerse ourselves in it.” Don’t fall for the belief that relationships don’t heal or that living in a deconstruction crisis is the only option for your marriage or family. Healing happens when you move closer together and return to the power and truth love offers instead of fear. Clarity at home is KEY. It’s as essential as clarity about your own identity. Without a family identity and clarity about your values and goals, every crisis can destroy unity instead of building it. offers valuable resources to help families bring up children who explicitly and implicitly know that God is a Father who cares. Getting clear about God helps us all get clear about ourselves and others. Visit our website to benefit from all we offer. also shares this invitation - "Reach out if I can help your family find the clarity that helps you grow closer in hard times instead of falling apart. I have limited spots available on my consulting calendar. Send me an email today. " Visit to find hoodies, sweatshirts, t-shirts, stickers, canvas bags, kitchen towels, and more! Start new conversations that help people fear less because their finding LOVE! Together, there is great hope. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/27948807

#118 Are Emotions Our Enemies Or Our Friends? 08/23/2023

#118 Are Emotions Our Enemies Or Our Friends? Difficult days can go from bad to worse when we forget emotions are intended to be our friends instead of our enemies. When we live as if emotions are our enemies, we try to control them or pretend they don't exist. When we engage with emotions as our friends, we notice and listen to them. Valuing our emotions for the information they give us, we discover our core values and deep desires. We learn to pause and consider how to move forward in the direction of our goals instead of staying stuck in our self-protection patterns. In this episode, Doug and Janet enjoy an energetic conversation with author, speaker, podcaster, and Licensed Professional Counselor Michelle Nietert. We're starting a conversation about , a new book Michelle co-authored with Lynn Cowell. Listen now to benefit from Michelle's generous wisdom and sense of humor and linger in these TAKEAWAYS - Managing our emotions is challenging. But the emotions we feel are energy in motion, and we can meet the challenge with the help of God and others. When emotions remind us to connect with secure relationships, emotions are an onramp to maturity instead of chaos. What we think often affects what we feel, and how we feel often affects what we do. Our mind, heart, and body are all connected. We can discover ways to train our brains so they can help us manage our emotions - just like we can train our brains to learn math facts. Training our brains to focus on God’s promises can help us, over time, learn to replace feelings of sadness, fear, and anger with hopefulness, bravery, and calmness. Resources mentioned in this episode - Check out our new LOVE IS FEARLESS styles on Reminding ourselves about God’s promises is the reason we’ve created LOVE IS FEARLESS merch! Sign up for Janet's newsletter Discover valuable resources for parents and educators at Connect with Michelle at and find links to purchase ALL her great books. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/27824568

#117 A New Conversation about "What Are We Aiming For?" 08/09/2023

#117 A New Conversation about "What Are We Aiming For?" Season 4 of the LIF podcast is all about starting new conversations. We’re leaning in instead of leaning away from fresh perspectives…even if they seem to lead us away from the traditional life and lifestyle we’ve worked to achieve for so long. We’re willing to admit that sometimes we experience peace before we experience success. We’re discovering that living loved really is different from living afraid, that saying NO is as much an option as saying YES, and we literally feel different in our own bodies and our own stories when we’re benefitting from love instead of motivated by the fear of missing out. In this episode, we're starting a new conversation about by Bill Thrall, Bruce McNicol, and Kevin McElrath. We're talking about becoming a healthy leader and discerning healthy leadership under which you can align yourself and grow, instead of simply showing up and making it work. Listen in as we describe the CAPACITY and CHARACTER ladders, and linger in these TAKEAWAYS-- Living loved is a synonym for God’s plan for your life. Living afraid is a synonym for the enemy's plan for your life. “God’s plan could mean stepping up to a challenge. It could mean stepping down. But each step brings us closer to our destiny if it leads to greater love for God and others. Whether our sphere of influence is small or large, the possibilities remain the same. We can watch our motives transform from selfishness to selflessness. We can submit to the Master’s loving hand, becoming what we need to become for the benefit of others and our world.” (p. 179) “In the course you have set for your life, how are you providing for the safety of those you influence? As you look over your shoulder, who is in the wake of your influence and how are they doing?” (p.12) Do you need encouragement to live a fearless story, not a perfect life? Enjoy LOVE IS FEARLESS t-shirts, posters, kitchen towels, canvas bags, and stickers to inspire yourself and those you love. Visit the Janet Newberry collection at Stay inspired by . You'll receive Janet's newsletter delivered to your inbox twice a month. Find daily inspiration on social media - and on Facebook. Together, there is great hope. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/27697053

#116 A New Conversation About Living A New Life As A Child Of God 07/26/2023

#116 A New Conversation About Living A New Life As A Child Of God Join us in this episode as we dig deep into a new conversation about This week, we're talking about the power of love that changes everything, especially when we begin to experience God as a safe and secure Father, rather than a distant and threatening judge. In his book, Todd Hall tells about a man diagnosed with schizophrenia who is now functioning well and has a fulfilling life, due in large part to the power of loving connection to overcome genetic vulnerabilities. "Though genetics and medication certainly play a role, they are not the only factors that contribute to our well-being. Connection is also a major factor because we are born to connect." Does this amazing story offer us a fresh perspective on Romans 12:2? What if being conformed to the patterns of this world happens when we're disconnected in our relationships, and being transformed by the renewing of your mind happens when we trust that we have a secure connection with a good, good Father? Join us in this transformative new conversation and linger in these TAKEAWAYS - When we live in a world with fewer and fewer face-to-face connections, we lose the norms of reciprocity and trustworthiness - so we lose the ability to influence and impact each other with the power of love, even though we can still make people do what we want by manipulating them or shaming them. Receiving love requires a relationship of trust. Being pushed around by fear happens without trustworthiness. Walking on a healing journey with a spouse or a few close friends is not always easy, but it is deep and life-giving. Belonging, meaning, and creating real value in the world together is more satisfying than individualism, materialism, or another attempt at rebellion. “It turns out that social disconnection has a profound impact on our experiences with God and spiritual community. The connection crisis we’re experiencing at a broader societal level reverberates throughout our spiritual lives.” p. 21, The Connected Life Do you need encouragement to live a fearless story, not a perfect life? Enjoy LOVE IS FEARLESS t-shirts, posters, kitchen towels, canvas bags, and stickers to inspire yourself and those you love. Visit the Janet Newberry collection at Stay inspired by . You'll receive Janet's newsletter delivered to your inbox twice a month. Find daily inspiration on social media - and on Facebook. Together, there is great hope. /episode/index/show/janetnewberry/id/27533121

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