Parts and Perimenopause with Melissa Monahan — IFS for the Transition Nobody Warned Us About
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Release Date: 05/19/2026
The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
I didn't know frozen shoulder was a perimenopause symptom. Neither did Melissa Monahan, this week's podcast guest, and she's a therapist living through it herself. This week Melissa joins me on the podcast to talk about the mental health side of perimenopause and menopause, and what IFS can offer women going through it. She's an IFS Level 2 therapist and host of , a podcast and Substack for women in this chapter of life -- and the people who love them. In this episode we talk about the changes happening in our inner worlds during this transition, and how IFS can help us make sense of and...
info_outlineThe One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today's episode I welcome Jessica Tomich Sorci to the podcast. She's a therapist, perinatal mental health specialist, and creator of the Mom Parts Method. She's spent 15 years working with moms and noticed the same parts showing up, so she began naming them, then created a methodology and a new book. Her Mom Parts Method is a five-step IFS-based process specifically for mothers. It starts with a meditation to connect with a triggering experience, then moves through naming which parts showed up, speaking truths on their behalf, noticing underlying shame or grief, and identifying what...
info_outlineThe One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today I welcome Dr. Audrey Davidheiser back to the podcast. Her latest book, Grieving Wholeheartedly: Bringing Healing for Every Part of Your Soul, is an IFS guide to loss that views grief as a collection of parts, each carrying something specific, each needing to be met. Audrey is a licensed psychologist, certified IFS therapist, and founder of the Los Angeles Dream Center, where she specializes in trauma and religious trauma. She's also someone who lost her father suddenly seven years ago and rebuilt her practice and her inner life from the ground up. Takeaways Grief doesn't...
info_outlineThe One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
I'm excited to welcome Jenna Riemersma back on the podcast for the third time to talk about her new book. She's a certified IFS therapist, bestselling author, and someone committed to making IFS accessible to everyone. Her new book, Move Toward: A Simplified IFS Therapy Tool to Welcome All Parts of You, gives you a simple way to work with parts in the real world, in real time. In This Episode The three-step Move Toward tool: Notice, Know, Need How Self Energy can transform a room of people What Self-led action looks like when you're in a toxic relationship or a power-down position Parts-led...
info_outlineThe One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today I welcome to the podcast Drs. Risa Adams, Robin Beardsley, and Elizabeth Parsons. They are family physicians turned psychotherapists who came together during the pandemic to write, find community, and speak for their parts. What they found in that process and wrote about in their new book, It Doesn't Have To Be This Way: A Physician's Guide To Radical Self Care (by three physicians who've been there), is something most caregivers, doctors, healthcare workers, therapists, parents, partners, anyone who finds their worth in being needed, will recognize. In This Episode The parts that...
info_outlineThe One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
Today I welcome Irina Diyankova back to the podcast. Her last episode, was one of our most popular. This time we explore what happens when "going inside" during an IFS session becomes hard for clients. She finds this is especially true with neurodivergent and C-PTSD clients. Irina shares why externalization can be so helpful in these cases. Instead of relying only on what’s happening internally, bringing things outside, like mapping, speaking out loud, connecting visually or relationally, really help. We also talk about how IFS isn’t a cookie-cutter model. We all...
info_outlineThe One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode, I talk with Joanna Curry-Sartori, founder of the Self-Leadership Collaborative and author of The Self-Led Educator. We explore this idea of how to bring IFS into everyday life, to invite more Self Energy into our conversations and interactions. Joanna teaches us her PAUSE model, a five-step process to help you slow things down and notice what’s happening inside before you respond. Sometimes it's in moments where you can feel yourself starting to react, or a conversation begins to shift. Instead of pushing through, you pause, get curious about your parts,...
info_outlineThe One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode I welcome Nitsan Joy Gordon, a dance movement therapist, IFS practitioner, and peacebuilder who lives in Israel. Nitsan shares about growing up in Israel, living near the border, and what it’s like to live in a place where war and trauma have been part of daily life for generations. She also tells the story of how Internal Family Systems changed her own life. A powerful experience at Esalen with Dick Schwartz inspired her to use IFS in her work back home. Nitsan leads an organization bringing Israelis and Palestinians together to transform pain through deep listening...
info_outlineThe One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
On today’s episode I welcome psychotherapist and author Meg Josephson to the podcast. Her book Are You Mad at Me? names something so many of us feel but rarely say out loud: Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Meg and I talk about the fawn response, people-pleasing, and the parts of us that learned early on to stay ahead of conflict. We explore how “being nice” can disconnect us from ourselves, why grief and anger are essential to healing, and how mindfulness helps us slow down enough to notice what’s really happening inside. If you’ve ever swallowed your needs to keep the...
info_outlineThe One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast
In today’s episode, I welcome my friend Marcella Cox back to the podcast. Marcella is a certified IFS therapist, approved consultant, and somatic IFS assistant trainer. She’s also a certified Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) and Rest and Restore provider, and the lead author of the new guidelines for integrating IFS with these listening therapies. We talk about: The basics of polyvagal theory How our nervous system states impact our parts Why co-regulation is central to healing The difference between SSP (connection to others) and Rest and Restore (connection to Self) How listening...
info_outlineI didn't know frozen shoulder was a perimenopause symptom. Neither did Melissa Monahan, this week's podcast guest, and she's a therapist living through it herself.
This week Melissa joins me on the podcast to talk about the mental health side of perimenopause and menopause, and what IFS can offer women going through it. She's an IFS Level 2 therapist and host of Mindfully Meni, a podcast and Substack for women in this chapter of life -- and the people who love them.
In this episode we talk about the changes happening in our inner worlds during this transition, and how IFS can help us make sense of and befriend parts whose burdens we may be noticing for the first time.
Takeaways
- Perimenopause is as much an identity transition as a physical one.
- As estrogen drops, the manager parts lose their primary tool. Anger, anxiety, and old wounds may surface.
- Parts that were managed and exiled for years may now need additional care and compassion
- I share about my angry part around hot flashes, and what happened when I got curious instead of contemptuous.
- Anger in women going through this transition is often the first time they've allowed themselves to feel it.
- The polarization between shrinking completely and blowing everything up is a parts pattern, not a personality flaw.
- Melissa went to PT for weeks for a frozen shoulder that kept getting worse. A surgeon finally told her it was common in women her age. Nobody had connected it to perimenopause. That's the gap she's trying to close.
- Community is not optional. It is medicine.
Be sure to check out my extended interview with Melissa over on The One Inside on Substack
About Melissa
Melissa Monahan is a licensed mental health counselor and IFS Level 2 therapist specializing in perimenopause and menopause. She integrates IFS, EMDR, and Brainspotting to support women through the hormonal and emotional dimensions of this transition, with a focus on the mental health conversation perimenopause deserves. She hosts Mindfully Meni, a podcast and Substack community for women in this chapter and for the people who love them. Melissa also offers clinical consultation for therapists working with this population and is building resources for clinicians.
Episode Sponsor
This episode is sponsored by Therapy Training Boston.
Therapy Training Boston offers live, in-person, and online workshops, plus consultation for therapists and other helping professionals, designed to support you as a whole person while satisfying your CE requirements. All of their offerings are taught with an eye toward context, power, and relational justice, and draw on the family systems theories and best practices that shaped the IFS model. They also offer an Intensive Certificate Program in Couples and Family Therapy to help you build confidence and capacity in community.
About The One Inside
I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that’s still at the heart of all we do.
-
Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.
-
Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.
-
Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.
-
Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.
I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.
Resources
-
New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.
-
Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get “Get to Know a Should Part” right away.
Sponsorship
Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.