The Grief We Carry, The Love We Keep - Shanda McManus, MD
Grief Out Loud
When physician and writer was fourteen, her mother died after living with ovarian cancer. Three years later, her grandmother - the person who became home after that loss - was killed by a drunk driver. Then, while Shanda was in medical school, her younger brother Monir was murdered on Christmas Eve. For years, surviving meant staying busy. Planning funerals. Managing paperwork. Pushing forward. The grief itself was boxed up, held in place by what Shanda describes as an emotional tourniquet. It kept her moving, but it also kept her separated from memories of her mother, grandmother,...
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How To Support Kids Through Grief – Jessica Correnti, MS, CCLS
Grief Out Loud
When it comes to children and grief, there's a lot we misunderstand. Adults might think they are either resilient and unaffected, too young to understand, or irreparably broken by the death of someone in their life. In reality though, their experiences of grief can be just as profound and complex as those of the adults around them. In this episode of Grief Out Loud, Jana talks with Certified Child Life Specialist about what children actually need when someone they love dies. Drawing from...
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Learning From Grief - David Ferrugio On Memory, Meaning, And Moving Forward
Grief Out Loud
For many, September 11th is a shared, historical tragedy. But for today's guest, it is a personal anniversary - the day his father died. David Ferrugio was twelve years old when his dad was killed in the World Trade Center. Twenty-five years later, his grief continues to unfold - from recently sitting with his father's forensic file at the 9/11 Memorial to hosting his own podcast, DEAD Talks, where he invites people into honest conversations about death, grief, and what it means to keep living. In this conversation, David reflects on carrying his private grief through such...
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Brothers In Grief: Nora Gross On Cumulative Loss & Gun Violence
Grief Out Loud
What happens when grief isn't an exception, but a constant presence? In this episode, Jana talks with researcher and educator about her book, , which follows the two years she spent embedded in a Philadelphia boys' high school where students were grieving repeated losses from gun violence. Through interviews, observation, and simply showing up, Nora witnessed how grief shapes friendships, school life, ideas about the future, and the social constraints Black boys face when it comes to grief. Nora also shares how her own experiences of grief - including the death of her mother from cancer...
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It's All Hard - Sudden vs Anticipated Loss
Grief Out Loud
Is it harder when someone dies suddenly, or when you know their death is coming? It’s a question that comes up often in grief spaces, and there’s no easy answer. Both are hard - just in different ways. In this episode, Aimee Craig talks about grieving the deaths of both of her parents under very different circumstances. Aimee’s dad died suddenly when she was 23, during a season of major life transitions. Nearly two decades later, her mom died after living with cancer for many years, including five years with a terminal diagnosis. Aimee...
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How to Talk With Children About Grief & Loss
Grief Out Loud
How do you talk with children about death, dying, and grief - especially when the truth feels impossible to say? Most adults feel unprepared to tell a child that someone in their life has an advanced serious illness or has died. There’s often a deep desire to protect kids from pain, avoid overwhelming them, or wanting to wait until there’s a “better” time to talk. But children often already sense that something has changed. In this episode, Jana is joined by Dougy Center colleagues Rebecca Hobbs-Lawrence, M.A. and Sat Kaur Khalsa, M.S.W. to talk about how adults can approach these...
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What Happens When You Stop Outrunning Grief? Camila Crews & Sorry For Your Loss (Cards)
Grief Out Loud
Have you ever found yourself trying to outrun grief? That’s what did when she was 19 and her mother died. Twenty years later, following the heartbreaking disappearance and death of her father, Camila stopped running and started feeling. Unable to just keep pushing through, she had to face her grief and learn how to care for herself in the process. Facing her grief inspired Camila to start , an initiative to help people better understand grief and show up for those who are mourning. Centering the experiences of Black and Brown communities, Sorry for Your Loss (Cards)...
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When "It's Not Your Fault" Falls Flat - Grief & Guilt
Grief Out Loud
In December of 2021, Sawyer was halfway through their final year of college in a world that was still reeling from the pandemic. Home for the holidays, Sawyer got the heartbreaking news that their older brother, Jason, had died by suicide - a before-and-after moment that continues to reverberate today. Sawyer shares their nuanced perspective on grief, delving into how mental health, incarceration, and other systemic barriers impacted Jason's life and death. We also explore how the phrase, "It's not your fault," while well-intentioned, can leave little space for those who are grieving to truly...
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When Grief Gets Silenced: Supporting Black Youth & Families With Dr. Allen Lipscomb
Grief Out Loud
Acknowledgment, validation, and curiosity – meeting grief with these three elements is crucial in creating supportive, culturally relevant grief support environments for children and adults. Dr. Allen Lipscomb has spent his career researching, designing, and implementing anti-racist interventions that directly support not just grief from death loss, but also the grief from racialized trauma experienced by those in the Black community. Dr. Lipscomb shares his personal experiences with grief, including the death of his grandmother when he was a...
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A Mother's Legacy, A Daughter's Grief - N'keya Peters-Camille
Grief Out Loud
In this episode of Grief Out Loud, Jana is joined by , LCSW, RYT® 200, a social worker, certified Grief Yoga teacher, facilitator for grief meet ups, and creator of . N’keya shares the story of her mother, Hope - a woman she describes as her soulmate - who died of pancreatic cancer in 2021 at the age of 46. N’keya reflects on growing up alongside her mother, witnessing her overcome immense challenges, and experiencing firsthand what it meant to be deeply seen, supported, and loved. After her mother’s...
info_outlineWhen physician and writer Shanda McManus was fourteen, her mother died after living with ovarian cancer. Three years later, her grandmother - the person who became home after that loss - was killed by a drunk driver. Then, while Shanda was in medical school, her younger brother Monir was murdered on Christmas Eve.
For years, surviving meant staying busy. Planning funerals. Managing paperwork. Pushing forward. The grief itself was boxed up, held in place by what Shanda describes as an emotional tourniquet. It kept her moving, but it also kept her separated from memories of her mother, grandmother, and brother - and even from parts of herself.
In this conversation, Jana and Shanda explore what finally made it possible to take off the tourniquet. They talk about how writing became a gentle way back into grief and how reconnecting with that grief also helped Shanda reconnect with the people who had died.
Together they also explore the larger forces that shape grief: the myth of the "strong Black woman," the culture of medicine that rewards emotional restraint, the isolation that follows homicide loss, and the ways race, class, and stigma influence whose grief is witnessed and whose is questioned.
This episode considers what can happen when we stop asking grief to disappear and instead start tending to it - creating space for tears, memories, stories, and relationships that continue long after someone dies.
In this episode, we discuss:
- Growing up in North Philadelphia and the lasting influence of Shanda's mother, grandmother, and younger brother.
- Becoming the family caretaker after her mother's death at fourteen.
- How repeated losses led to decades of suppressing grief in order to survive.
- Why writing Brother Epistles became a pathway back to memory, relationship, and self.
- The unique challenges of grieving after homicide and the stigma that often accompanies violent loss.
- How racism, gender expectations, and medical culture can leave little room for grief.
- What it means to tend grief rather than trying to finish it.
- Finding permission to speak about the people who died as an everyday grief practice.
Connect with Shanda McManus, MD
https://www.shandamcmanus.com/
@shandaMDwrites
Weatherproof Substack
Learn more about Dougy Center's grief education & training offerings: https://www.dougy.org/professionals-trainings