The Man Rules
Welp. Here we are. The final episode of The Man Rules podcast. Dan and Andrea (the show’s producer) take the opportunity to reminisce, reflect, and ruminate on what might be next...
info_outline What Men Would Tell You... About Having All The AnswersThe Man Rules
Dan and Allen don't have all the answers, but they do have their own experiences in learning to let go of the need to know, and they share those with you in order to help you improve your relationships.
info_outline Childhood Heroes and Personal MythologiesThe Man Rules
All stories we relate to are based either on our wishes or on our fears. Sometimes--or maybe even often--both. That's what makes this week's episode with friend of the show Rick Belden such a powerful one. Rick leads Dan through a fascinating discussion about the ways in which we internalize our favorite childhood stories to develop personal mythologies and use them to guide the ways we show up in the world.
info_outline Coping with Changing Gender ExpectationsThe Man Rules
This week, friend of the show Dr. Michael Levittan is back to help us sort through the many changes in our expectations of men and women over the years, and how psychology and psychotherapy have played a role in helping shape and guide those changes.
info_outline All Good Things Must Come to an EndThe Man Rules
After more than two years of operation, we have made the difficult decision to end production of The Man Rules podcast. So, this week Dan's solo episode--his last solo episode--is about what it means to embrace change.
info_outline How to Stay Sober AFThe Man Rules
Thanks to Duke Rumely and his organization S.AF.E (Sober As F$@# Entertainment), people in recovery can safely attend events that otherwise may have triggered their addictions. The organization's goal is to create "sober safe zones" at sporting events, concerts, and other social gatherings. In this episode, he talks with Dan about the importance of staving off loneliness and boredom in maintaining sobriety and about the power of community.
info_outline What Men Would Tell You... About WinningThe Man Rules
In this episode, Dan and Allen talk about The Winning Rule, a chapter from their forthcoming book, What Men Would Tell You If They Weren't Too Busy Watching TV. They break down the ways in which the Winning Rule affects relationships, and show us how we can become more conscious of The Winning Rule and recognize when it's hijacked our reactions and behaviors.
info_outline Leggo my EgoThe Man Rules
Dr. Lou Cox has studied the ego for decades. He joins Dan to talk about his work and his new book, Ego: The Ghost in Your Machinery. He and Dan talk about the male ego and how men thrive and suffer as a result of their dances with the ego. Ultimately, Cox says, while we cannot overcome the ego we can step aside from it and move toward our native, and more authentic and vulnerable, self. The more awareness the more you can see those parts and make different decisions about who and how you want to be.
info_outline Support the PodcastThe Man Rules
his week, Dan's back with an update on our makeshift pledge drive. We hear from Noah, a longtime listener who has pledged his support, and Dan makes a case for you all to be like Noah. (If you can.)
info_outline Loving Like You Mean ItThe Man Rules
In this episode, Dr. Ron Frederick, psychologist and author of "Loving Like You Mean It" breaks down the four basic attachment styles, explains where they come from (childhood, of course), and how to use emotional mindfulness to build stronger, healthier and happier relationships. He also offers up a simple, four-step approach to help you break free from old habits, befriend your emotional experience, and develop new ways of relating.
info_outlineOne of the cardinal Man Rules is, “Don’t be weak.” A real man is never defenseless. A real man is never vulnerable to the aggression, abuse, or misconduct of anyone. If he is threatened by someone—even if that someone is much older than him, much bigger than him, and has the role of power and authority over him—he never submits. He is either strong enough to kick the guy’s ass or he is smart enough to escape. If he didn’t manage to do either of THOSE things and wound up being a victim of abuse? Well… That’s just what happens when you aren’t man enough to defend yourself.
Sadly, this way of thinking about male survivors of abuse is quite common, even if the victim is a child who faced a much older abuser. As a survivor of childhood sexual, physical, and emotional abuse himself, Randy Boyd knows this all too well. He now dedicates much of his time traveling the country, educating people on the realities of men’s experiences with childhood abuse, and offering a message of hope and healing to survivors. He and Dan talk about the unfortunate legacies of childhood abuse for men, which often include addiction, massive disconnection, anger, and violence and why many men don't even realize that their past abuse is often connected to their current troubles. They also offer some ways forward for men currently struggling with the impact of abuse on their relationships and day-to-day lives.
You can support Randy in his efforts to bring awareness and greater sensitivity to male sexual abuse by supporting The Ride Across America to Stomp Out Shame, a cross-country bike ride set to begin on Father’s Day (June 18, 2017.) Go to www.courageoushealers.org to make a donation, or to schedule Randy for a speaking engagement in your city or town.