Unbothered & Elegant: Let's discuss Mel Robbins' “Let Them” theory
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
Release Date: 03/17/2025
Awkward Etiquette: Old Money & New Manners
What makes a home look quietly elegant… and what makes it look like a Cheesecake Factory in disguise? In this episode, Kiki Astor breaks down the common, supposedly “old money” decorating elements that actually cheapen a house when done wrong. From blinding white exteriors and shiny DIY lacquer walls to overdone marble countertops in modern farmhouse McMansions and Greek columns that aim to make a 60's ranch-style home look like a neo-Palladian estate but instead fall painfully flat, Kiki explains why these popular choices fail — and how true old money interiors whisper rather than...
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In this week’s episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, we’re diving into the fascinating—and often unspoken—world of grooming, beauty, and personal presentation in high society. What’s the difference between old money grooming and new money beauty trends? Why does understated polish signal heritage wealth, while flashy cosmetic enhancements can read as nouveau riche? From skincare routines and subtle hair maintenance to manicure etiquette, fragrance choices, and the art of looking “effortlessly well-kept,” Kiki unpacks the codes that separate discreet refinement from...
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Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor – Episode: “Starting Over Without Moving Zip Codes” Think you need a new city to reinvent yourself? Think again. In this episode, Romance author and old money and etiquette expert Kiki Astor dismantles the myth of “new city, new me” and reveals how true personal reinvention happens quietly, elegantly, and right where you are. From the psychology behind why we crave fresh starts—like escaping our past selves, chasing romance, or seeking novelty—to the subtle, old money–approved strategies for refining your identity without uprooting your life,...
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In this episode of the Awkward Etiquette podcast, novelist, hostess, old money and etiquette expert and recovering debutante Kiki Astor unpacks the awkward etiquette mistakes, social faux pas, and embarrassing moments that happen to everyone — whether you’re navigating high society, old money circles, or just a tricky cocktail party. From using the wrong fork at a formal dinner, spilling champagne at a gala, or being snubbed by a shop assistant, to passing gas in public, stopping up a toilet, or being pooped on by a bird, Kiki reveals how to recover with impeccable manners, polished social...
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Planning a visit to Montecito—or just dying to know what really goes on behind those wrought-iron gates and hedges? In this week’s episode, etiquette maven and nouveau pauvre insider Kiki Astor shares the ultimate Montecito travel guide: one part luxury lifestyle handbook, one part whispered society scandal sheet. This week, Kiki Astor is celebrating the publication of her steamy romance novel, Service Entrance, ste in Montecito, and believe us when we say she has done her research. From where old money and new money brunch, to the best ocean views and cultural landmarks, to secret...
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In this episode of Awkward Etiquette, host Kiki Astor—former Greenwich golden girl turned Montecito-adjacent observer—dives into the psychology, etiquette, and everyday acrobatics of living near the ultra-wealthy without actually being one of them. Whether you're sipping $7 cold brew in the shadow of a $70M estate or attending a fundraiser where your thrifted Loro Piana blazer is one dry-cleaning away from falling apart, this episode is for you. Inspired by her deliciously sharp new novel Service Entrance, Kiki dissects the invisible rules of old-money enclaves, from how to dress when...
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In this episode of Awkward Etiquette, host Kiki Astor explores the world of modern household staff in wealthy homes. The world of Downton Abbey is a bit antiquated- how do today's wealthy people run their homes? With sophisticated household staff. Discover how today's private service professionals differ from traditional butlers and maids, with many trained in luxury hospitality or even military service. Learn about the complex dynamics between staff and employers, including the differences between old money and new money attitudes. Get insider tips on hiring and managing household employees,...
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Have you been ghosted by your friend group without a clue why? Welcome to Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, your cheeky guide to modern manners and social survival. In this episode, Kiki tackles the concept of the real-life shadowban—when you’re not blocked or unfollowed, but subtly iced out of social events, text threads, and brunch invites. Learn how to spot the signs of a social shadowban, what accidental faux pas might’ve triggered it (yes, even your thirsty Instagram stories count), and how to gracefully re-enter the scene with charm, class, and a soft-launch-worthy glow-up....
info_outlineWhether it’s at a cocktail party, on the tennis court, or around the dinner table, Mel Robbins’ Let Them theory is the pop culture, pop psychology self-help phenomenon on everybody’s lips. But what does it really mean, and how does one apply it to living an authentic, elegant life on one’s own terms?
In this episode of Awkward Etiquette with Kiki Astor, we dive into Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory and how it applies to high society etiquette, social skills, and romantic dilemmas. From handling social climbers with grace to dealing with romantic rejection like a queen and knowing when to simply let people embarrass themselves at a dinner party, Kiki explains why true elegance is about staying unbothered.
You’ll learn how to navigate social faux pas without losing your cool, set boundaries while maintaining charm and wit, and master the art of letting people self-select out of your life—whether it’s a toxic friend, an over-eager suitor, or that one guest who insists on ignoring the dress code.
If you’ve ever wondered how to exude quiet confidence, maintain effortless poise, and avoid the trap of chasing people who don’t appreciate you, this episode is your guide to graceful disengagement. Tune in for Kiki’s signature mix of old-money elegance, sharp humor, and a dash of social satire—because as always, the best response to bad manners is to simply let them.
www.kikiastor.com