08: One Goal-Setting Shift That Helps You Both Feel Motivated (More Than Pressured)
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
Release Date: 01/08/2026
11: When Exam Advice Goes Wrong - and the 4 Key Revision Styles You Need to Know
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
Traditional exam advice can often assume all students are naturally organised and respond well to structure and pressure. That describes about 25% of students. And even for them, 'work harder, push through' often accelerates them towards burnout rather than success. If your capable daughter is struggling with revision despite following all the school's advice, this episode explains why. The standard guidance — detailed timetables, 45-minute study blocks, remove distractions, push through — was designed with one type of nervous system in mind. But when that advice lands on a different...
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10: When Bright Girls Underperform: What We Can Miss About Exam Stress
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
"Exam anxiety isn't a motivation problem. It's a nervous system problem. And once you understand that, everything about how you support her changes." If you have a daughter facing major exams, you've likely already seen anxiety showing up — and with girls, it often hits earlier and harder. But exam pressure is fundamentally different from everyday teenage stress, and what works for friendship drama often backfires during exam season. In this episode, I explain what makes exam anxiety unique, introduce the three distinct patterns it takes in teenage girls, and share what your daughter...
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09: Is She Overwhelmed—Or Just Avoiding? How to Tell the Difference
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
"When you understand the difference between overwhelm and avoidance, you stop guessing—and start responding with exactly what she needs." One of the hardest questions we face as mothers of teenagers is knowing what our daughters need in the moment: Do they need us to step in, or step back? Push gently, or pull right back? In this episode, I share what anxiety actually looks like in teenage girls—both the loud, visible kind and the quiet, easily-missed kind—and give you a practical framework for knowing whether your daughter is genuinely overwhelmed (and needs you to pull back) or...
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08: One Goal-Setting Shift That Helps You Both Feel Motivated (More Than Pressured)
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
The first week of January brings a unique kind of pressure—the expectation to set ambitious goals, to feel motivated, to transform. But what if that pressure isn't motivation at all, but comparison disguised as inspiration? In this episode, I share what happened when my family and I tried the TCUP framework over Christmas, then explore why intention-setting (rather than goal-setting) might be the kinder, more sustainable path forward—for both you and your teenage daughter. You'll learn a practical 5-step Sophrology-based practice for setting intentions that honour where you actually are,...
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07: The One Thing Your Daughter Needs to See You Do This Christmas
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
How stating your needs models the self-advocacy you want your daughter to have The Christmas Reality Picture mid-December: presents to coordinate, work deadlines, teenagers on different time zones suddenly in your space constantly, extended family with expectations, and the emotional load of orchestrating everything. By the time Christmas arrives, you're already exhausted. During our research with 21 mothers of teenagers, Christmas came up again and again as the most challenging time of year. One mother said: "The only reason I haven't tried a calmer approach is general exhaustion. When you're...
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06: What Does Your Daughter Really Want This Holiday?
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
What your daughter wants most this holiday isn't more activities or a full agenda. After years of asking teenage girls this exact question, their answer surprised me every single time. The Swiss Boarding School Discovery Each year as term ended, I asked: "What are you most looking forward to over the holidays?" These were students from some of the wealthiest families in the world—with access to luxury holidays and amazing experiences. But their answer was always the same: "Do nothing. Be at home. Just relax." What they were craving wasn't excitement but presence. Low expectations....
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05 - What If She Can Only Imagine Things Going Wrong?
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
If your daughter can't see things going well, her brain literally won't let her move towards them. The Moment That Changed Everything Just before bedtime one winter evening in the boarding house, I'd led a group of girls through a visualisation exercise—helping them see themselves confident and ready for upcoming exams. As they filed out, one girl stayed behind. "Miss," she said quietly, "I could only see it going wrong. I couldn't see the good version where it all goes well." That moment stopped me in my tracks. This teenage girl's mind was so locked into negative default mode that she...
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04: The Art of Co-Regulation: Is It More Powerful Than Your Words?
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
What if the key to your daughter's wellbeing lies not in what you say to her, but in your own emotional state when you're with her? The Moment Everything Changed A few years ago, Kate was working as Housemistress at a UK boarding school—teaching, leading wellbeing sessions, supporting 50 teenage girls, all while running on adrenaline and caffeine. She was teaching stress management whilst barely keeping up herself. After burnout forced her to step back, she returned and did something different. Instead of broadcasting capability, she sat with her girls and showed them her human side—the...
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03 Teen Parenting Strategy That Works: Stop Fixing, Start Coaching
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
Teen Parenting Strategy That Works: Stop Fixing, Start Coaching Episode Description Your daughter comes home upset. You can see exactly what she needs to do. So you offer clear, kind advice that would absolutely work—if only she'd follow it. She nods. Says "okay." But something in her voice tells you she has no intention of doing what you've suggested. And a week later, nothing has changed. If this sounds painfully familiar, you're not alone. The parenting approach that worked beautifully when she was younger simply doesn't land anymore. In this episode, I share what I learned from...
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02: When "Fine" Means Anything But: Opening Real Conversations
Coaching Motherhood: Conversations For Our Daughters
You ask "How was your day?" and she says "Fine." You try again. Same wall. Sound familiar? In this episode, I share why that invisible barrier goes up the moment you ask questions—and the simple neuroscience-backed shift that changes everything. Before you can coach, calm, or create anything new with your daughter, you must first connect. And connection isn't about words—it's about presence. Discover the 10-second pause that signals safety, why the teenage brain reads questions as interrogation, and the practical tool you can use this week to invite real conversation. This is the first...
info_outlineThe first week of January brings a unique kind of pressure—the expectation to set ambitious goals, to feel motivated, to transform. But what if that pressure isn't motivation at all, but comparison disguised as inspiration?
In this episode, I share what happened when my family and I tried the TCUP framework over Christmas, then explore why intention-setting (rather than goal-setting) might be the kinder, more sustainable path forward—for both you and your teenage daughter.
You'll learn a practical 5-step Sophrology-based practice for setting intentions that honour where you actually are, not where you think you should be.
KEY TOPICS COVERED
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The difference between inspiration and comparison
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Why social media amplifies pressure in January (and how it affects our daughters even more)
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How goal-setting from a place of "not enough" reinforces unworthiness
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The Sophrology principle of dynamic relaxation: meeting yourself where you are
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A 5-step intention-setting practice you can do with your daughter
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Why sharing your intention creates accountability without punishment
RESEARCH & SOURCES REFERENCED
University of Pennsylvania Study on Social Media Use
Hunt, M. G., Marx, R., Lipson, C., & Young, J. (2018). No More FOMO: Limiting Social Media Decreases Loneliness and Depression. Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology, 37(10), 751-768.
Key Finding: Limiting social media use to 30 minutes per day led to significant reductions in anxiety, depression, loneliness, and fear of missing out.
Dr. Lisa Damour on Social Comparison
Damour, L. (2023). The Emotional Lives of Teenagers: Raising Connected, Capable, and Compassionate Adolescents. Ballantine Books.
Referenced: How teenagers compare themselves not just to their peers, but to carefully curated, edited versions of their peers' lives—and even knowing it's curated doesn't lessen the impact.
THE 5-STEP INTENTION-SETTING PRACTICE
Step 1: Visualise Your Future Self
Imagine yourself at the end of this term (Easter holidays) feeling genuinely happy and proud. Notice what that version of you looks like, how she carries herself, and the energy around her.
Step 2: Identify Your Core Feeling
Choose ONE word that captures how that future version of you feels. Examples: Present. Grounded. Connected. Ease. Calm. This is your intention for the term.
Step 3: Decide What to Release
Ask yourself: What would I need to say NO to in order to say yes to this feeling? Be specific—not "stress," but "saying yes to things I don't want to do" or "scrolling Instagram before bed."
Step 4: Create Supporting Actions
Ask yourself: What small, consistent actions would support this intention? Keep it simple—3 things maximum that you can actually do consistently.
Step 5: Share Your Intention
Tell at least one person (partner, friend, or daughter) your word and your commitments. Ask them to gently remind you when you drift. This creates witnesses, not judges.
"You're already enough, right here, right now. The practice isn't about becoming someone else. It's about choosing how you want to feel—and taking one small step that honours that choice."
YOUR PRACTICE THIS WEEK
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Set aside 15 minutes to complete the 5-step intention-setting practice
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Write down your word and your supporting actions
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Share it with one person who can support you
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Optional: Invite your daughter to do this practice with you
CONNECT WITH KATE
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Important: This podcast is for educational purposes only, not medical advice. If you're experiencing severe overwhelm, burnout, or mental health concerns, please consult qualified healthcare professionals.
Connect: Get in touch with any feedback about this episode, questions or if you have any topics you'd like covered. Email: hello@coachingmotherhood.com or via the link below.