Dr. John Delony – Building a Non-Anxious Life

Dr. John Delony, the host of The Dr. John Delony Show and co-host of The Ramsey Show,  earned his Bachelor of Arts in humanities and psychology at Lubbock Christian University and his Masters of Education in higher education administration from Texas Tech University. He went on to earn two PhDs from Texas Tech University—one in counselor education and supervision, and the other in higher education administration.

Other qualifications and certifications he’s earned over the years include:

• Education Management, Harvard University
• Civil Rights, Title IX Investigator (L1), NCHERM/ATIXA
• Certified Behavioral Intervention Team Best Practice (Not Current), National Association of Behavioral Intervention and Threat Assessment (NABITA)
• Group Crisis Intervention, Individual Crisis Assistance, Critical Incident Stress Management (CISM)

After spending over twenty years in crisis response and leading students in higher education (and finding real solutions and freedom in his own wellness journey), John knew he wanted to help as many people as possible heal from their past trauma and live whole, connected lives. He now writes, speaks and teaches on relationships, mental health, anxiety and wellness. He also hosts The Dr. John Delony Show where he answers callers’ questions about all of the above, and serves as co-host of The Ramsey Show where he helps unpack the psychology behind finances.

When John isn’t working, you can find him hanging out with his wife and two kids on their farm in Tennessee, headbanging at some obscure concert, or obsessing over his new lifting routine.

AWARDS

• Three-Time National Bestselling Author for Redefining Anxiety, Own Your Past, Change Your Future and Building a Non-Anxious Life
• Outstanding Professional in Graduate and Professional Student Services, National Association of Student Personnel Administrators (NASPA)
• Emerging Leader, West Texas Counseling Association
• Life Changer Award, Student Bar Association
• Award of Excellence, Black Law Students Association
• President’s Leadership Institute, Texas Tech University
• Distinguished Staff Member, Texas Tech University
• Staff Member of the Year, Chi Alpha Delta Tech Law School

COMMUNITY INVOLVEMENT

• State Board of Directors, Disability Rights Texas
• Planning and Network Advisory Committee, Lubbock StarCare
• Victim’s Services/Crisis Response Team, Lubbock Police Department
• Board of Directors, Texas Boys Ranch
• Professional Wellness Committee, Texas Counseling Association

Takeaways:

1. Anxiety is NOT an identity.  John does a great job of describing what anxiety is and what it is not.  He describes anxiety as a snapshot and a smoke alarm.  He lets us know that it is NOT an identity that is to be taken as a permanent label or something that we “have” all the time.  One of the main problems with labeling ourselves this way is that it creates a false governor, as John puts it, on our potential and limits who we can be.  If you get a professional diagnosis of anxiety, treat it like the snapshot that it is and move forward to face those issues causing it as John shows us.
2. Listen to your body and act.  That tightness in your chest.  The restlessness at night invading our sleep.  The mind racing.  Like John says, our bodies will tell us when things are not well.  As he points out, unfortunately, our culture is one that pushes us not to be intentional and resolve issues, but to instead numb ourselves to these signs from the body.  Netflix, drinking, over-working, and others as John mentioned, are used to make us forget about the warning signals…all as our body whispers, then talks, and eventually screams at us for action.  The good thing is, we can do the opposite of all the numbing and take action.  And John’s book, as some of our discussion highlighted, does a great job of telling us how to do this.
3. Choose the hard path that brings you to peace. I like how John says we need to choose our hard – or choose our misery.  Taking action is hard but will lead to a good place.  Doing nothing will end up with hard results.  Which one will you pick?  As John says, we need to choose the one that brings us to a place that brings peace and a feeling of being whole.
4. 6 daily habits – As we discussed, John’s book brings out 6 daily habits that will help us live our lives as opposed to just letting it happen to us…while the alarms start to sound.  John lists these not just as habits but as habits we CHOOSE – as he said, intentionality is the key.  A few of the habits we touched on in our conversation were:
   1. Reality – I love how John describes this as choosing our starting line – going to each main area of our lives and actually facing where we really are in each.  How are your relationships?  Your health?  Your finances?  John likens it to hearing that smoke alarm in the house – anxiety calling us – and then going from room to room in the house and seeing where we are with each and what we need to do to get to a place where we’re at peace and at least know that the smoke alarm is real.
   2. Connection – This is a great one given how we’ve all become so addicted to our devices.  They’ve replaced our real connection  - and that is not how we’re wired as humans.  We need people and real connection – in person connection as John described, with some of his friends – not fake connection we get from social media and texting.  As John noted, our body knows it when we have nobody with whom we can connect.  And it wants to set off an alarm for you.  We can satisfy or avoid these alarms by seeking REAL connection with people.  So, we need to put down the phone or iPad and go out to lunch with a friend.  We’ll feel better and those alarms will stay quiet.
   3. Freedom – As the body knows when you are out of touch with people due to a lack of connection, it also knows whether or not you have autonomy.  As John mentioned, if you are in debt, you gotta go to work.  It doesn’t matter if you have bad boss, you gotta go.  But you can choose freedom by living below your means to get out of debt so you can choose where and for whom you will work.  This goes for financial freedom, freedom with our calendars as John and I discussed, and more.  Like Johns said, we need to look at our lives and ask who is making the decisions in our lives?  How would we rate our autonomy?  Do the check…then start getting after the pursuit of that freedom that will bring you peace…and you guessed it…less of those alarms.
5. The Cornerstones of Psychologically healthy human.  – I love how John listed these  - Faith (believing in something bigger than us and how that brings the peace that comes from knowing you don’t have to worry about all the problems in the universe – somebody else’s got it), fitness, fun, and family –  as the cornerstones of psychologically well human.  And he followed it up by saying he just doesn’t compromise on these things.  What a great way to look at the building blocks of our own foundations – and it’s hard to top John’s as a model.  Establish them.  Then commit to never compromising on them.  Then the peace – and at least LESS anxiety – is sure to follow.

Links:

Website: https://www.ramseysolutions.com/john-delony

Instagram: @johndelony

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/JohnDelony

TikTok: @johndelony

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JohnDelony/

X: @johndelony