Cults & the Culting of America w/ Knitting Cult Lady & Dr. Scot Loyd | 65 | The Children of AA

Content warnings: discussion of child abuse, child sexual abuse, sexual assault, trauma, recovery culture, substance abuse, and high-control groups.

In this episode of Cults and the Culting of America, Daniella and Scot are joined by Violet, a writer and creator who grew up immersed in 12-step programs from infancy. Violet shares her lived experience of being raised in Alcoholics Anonymous, examining how recovery culture, often treated as sacred and beyond critique, can function as a high-control system, particularly for children. The conversation explores themes of indoctrination, isolation, shame, hierarchy based on “time sober,” and the normalization of trauma exposure. Drawing parallels between AA, religious movements, cult dynamics, and other institutional systems, the hosts and Violet interrogate why these programs resist scrutiny, how harm is minimized in the name of “saving lives,” and why children are consistently deprioritized. The episode closes with a clear call to keep children out of adult recovery spaces and to critically evaluate systems that claim moral authority while causing lasting harm.

CONNECT WITH DANIELLA

 • GoFundMe for Culting of America: https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJI
• Autographed book: https://uncultureyourself.com/pages/uncultured-autographed
• From Bookshop.org: https://bookshop.org/a/104058/9781250280114
• Daniella’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal
• Daniella’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@knittingcultlady?lang=en
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/stories/daniellamyoung_/
• Unamerican Videobook: https://tr.ee/ODM-qtUJaR
• Secret Practice Videobook: https://tr.ee/DGEY3IeQQm

CONNECT WITH SCOT: 

https://www.tiktok.com/@thescotloyd

KEY TAKEAWAYS
• Children raised in 12-step environments are exposed to adult trauma, inappropriate conversations, and unsafe situations.
• Alcoholics Anonymous and similar programs often function as high-control groups with informal hierarchies based on “time sober.”
• Shame, guilt, and thought-stopping tactics are commonly used to suppress criticism within recovery culture.
• Harm caused within these systems is frequently minimized “for the good of the group.”
• Isolation from alternative worldviews is especially damaging to child development.
• A system can help some people while still being deeply harmful to others—both can be true.
• Critiquing AA is culturally taboo due to its outsized influence on American recovery narratives.
• Parents are encouraged to prioritize sobriety and the group mission over their children’s needs.
• Recovery does not need to involve lifelong submission to a single belief system.
• Protecting children should be a non-negotiable boundary, regardless of a program’s stated benefits.

CHAPTERS

00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Guests

01:53 Violet's Early Life in 12-Step Programs

03:05 Questioning the 12-Step Programs

06:52 Childhood Experiences and Observations

11:27 The Impact of Trauma on Children in Recovery Programs

13:35 The Concept of Guilt and Shame in Recovery

20:50 The Hierarchy and Power Dynamics in 12-Step Programs

28:02 The Religious Aspect of 12-Step Programs

30:55 The Role of Meetings in Recovery

32:05 Isolation and Its Impact on Development

33:50 Indoctrination Through Community Activities

35:07 Questioning Authority and the Reaction

36:18 Cultural Influence of Alcoholics Anonymous

39:18 Personal Struggles with Family Dynamics

40:30 Recognizing the Harm in Recovery Programs

48:45 The Importance of Protecting Children

50:59 Balancing Personal Missions and Parenting

Produced by Haley Phillips, Meghan Picmann, and Lizy Freudmann