72: Reading Together to Strengthen Your Marriage

Strengthening Marriage Through Shared Reading: Tips and Benefits

 

In this episode, Heather and Brian from Love How Deep delve into the concept of 'page turners and relationship builders,' explaining how reading books together as a couple can significantly enhance marital connections. They open the discussion by reflecting on their own journey, noting that while they didn't engage in shared reading early in their marriage, it has since become a valuable activity for them. The session is peppered with practical advice and personal anecdotes aimed at encouraging couples to explore this unique way of reconnecting. The duo stresses that the specific genre of the book is less crucial than the shared activity itself. Whether it's fiction, non-fiction, spiritual texts, or even Bible studies, the key is the shared experience and the conversations it sparks.

 

Heather and Brian debunk the myth that couples need to read only marriage-centric books, emphasizing instead the importance of variety to keep the activity interesting and engaging. They recount their experience reading 'Where the Red Fern Grows,' a children's classic that evoked emotional connections and led to meaningful discussions. Heather recalls how sharing tears over a fictional story helped them connect on a deeper emotional level. Heather and Brian also tackle common excuses couples might have about not having enough time to read together. They argue that even with busy schedules, finding 'little pockets of time'—be it 10 minutes in the morning over coffee, or a few minutes before bed—can make this activity feasible. Offering multiple time-management tips, they underscore the need to prioritize activities that build the relationship. They also advise not to aim for unrealistic goals like reading entire books in one go but to take it 'one page at a time' and relish the quality moments rather than quantity. Their practical advice extends to alternating book choices, so both partners feel involved and respected. The concept of being open-minded is frequently emphasized, encouraging couples to step out of their comfort zones and explore different types of literature.

 

Heather and Brian share a relatable instance of attending a mini-marriage conference where they were advised to keep an open mind, a principle they now apply to their reading endeavors. The session also delves into the layers of benefits that come with shared reading. It's not just about the act of reading but about the conversations and emotional exchanges it prompts. Heather and Brian explain how pausing to discuss and reflect on what they've read often leads to deeper conversations about life experiences, emotions, and even spiritual beliefs. They cite an example of Heather participating in a neighborhood Bible study, finding the content so powerful that she shared it with Brian, which further deepened their discussions and mutual understanding. Even the challenges of reading together are addressed candidly. Brian humorously admits to moments of not paying full attention during their reading sessions, underscoring that it's normal and okay for couples to have imperfections in their journey. This candidness makes the advice practical and relatable, reducing the intimidation factor for couples new to shared reading.

 

In promoting the advantages of reading together, Heather and Brian touch on how this activity fosters a positive emotional environment. It allows couples to share memories, both happy and sad, which can be therapeutic and bonding. The conversations ignited by these books offer a break from the routine discussions about mundane life stressors, making room for more enjoyable, light-hearted dialogues. Towards the end of the episode, the hosts reiterate their advice: choose any book that interests you, find those small time slots, and focus on quality over quantity.

 

They encourage couples to remain flexible and forgiving towards themselves and each other as they build this new habit, stressing that consistency, more than perfection, is key. Heather and Brian also highlight their online course on forgiveness, designed to aid couples in overcoming past hurts and improving communication. They offer a special promotional code, making the course an accessible resource for anyone interested. This course ties into the broader theme of their podcast—helping couples grow closer through various means, including shared activities like reading. 

 

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