Love How Deep Marriage Podcast

Love How Deep is a podcast designed to equip married couples like you with resources that rely on the transformative power of God's Word to strengthen your relationship. The hosts, Brian & Heather Mayer desire is to connect couples more deeply to each other. They do this by offering episode content that can help couples communicate better, resolve conflict, understand each other more, tackle roles and responsbilities, parent in better ways, control their finances more, and increase emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual parts of their lives. Engaging guests from married couples, pastors, therapists, authors, and other experts in the field offer great advice.

Martha vs. Mary: Finding Focus in Your Marriage | 81 04/30/2025

Martha vs. Mary: Finding Focus in Your Marriage | 81 Podcast Outline Show Notes Page: Episode 81 - Martha vs. Mary: Finding Focus in Your Marriage Introduction Welcome and Episode Introduction Encourage liking, following, subscribing, and sharing. Heather poses the question: If Jesus were coming for dinner, what would your focus be? The Story of Martha and Mary Reading of Luke 10:38-42. The universality of the story: We are all Martha and Mary at different times. Martha: The Hostess with the Mostess The pressure of preparations: Planning, purchasing, preparation (the 3 P's!). Cleaning and cooking and the desire for perfection. The impact of busyness on brain space. Wanting to impress Jesus. Identifying with Martha's desire to do things well. The Impact on Your Spouse What happens to your spouse when you're in "Martha mode"? Feeling forgotten and the potential for snapping. The "hurry and scurry" hindering connection. Considering Martha's Actions Why weren't some tasks done beforehand? (A moment of reflection, not judgment). Mary: Sitting at Jesus' Feet Mary's awe and reverence for Jesus. Absorbing His teachings and the importance of listening to the Holy Spirit. "God moments" of feeling present with Jesus. Avoiding judgment of Mary's seemingly "lazy" behavior. Mary's priority: Being in the presence of Jesus. The Contrast and Jesus' Response Martha's frustration and request for Mary to help. Jesus' gentle response focusing on priorities. Martha's good intentions vs. Mary's pure intentions. Jesus wants us to sit at His feet, worship, rest, and learn. The Daily Grind and Our Focus The shift from party preparations to the everyday busyness of life. Work, errands, bills – where does our focus lie? The importance of prioritizing Jesus amidst the daily tasks. A Personal Anecdote Heather's experience at a party: Choosing presence over tasks. The impact of a few minutes of intentional connection. The Danger of Overlooking Loved Ones Spouses and children feeling forgotten in the busyness. The importance of setting aside tasks for moments of connection. Temporal vs. eternal priorities. Putting Jesus first helps in managing everything else. Conclusion Recap: It's okay to be Martha sometimes, but prioritize being Mary when your spouse needs you. Encouragement to take a breath, pause, and spend quality time together and with Jesus. Call to Action Reminder of the free communication packet at lovehowdeep.com. Click Here: Closing remarks and farewell. /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/36309540

5 More Communication Strategies - Part 2 (Episode 80) 04/23/2025

5 Practical Communication Strategies - Part 1 (Episode 79) 04/16/2025

When God's Plan Doesn't Make Sense (Episode 78) 04/09/2025

How Do You Connect With God (Ep 77) 04/02/2025

Kitchen Chemistry & Cooking Together (Ep 76) 03/26/2025

Kitchen Chemistry & Cooking Together (Ep 76) Episode Title: Spice Up Your Marriage: Kitchen Chemistry & Cooking Together! Episode Summary: Join Brian and Heather from Love How Deep as they explore the surprising benefits of cooking together as a couple! This fun and insightful episode delves into how shared kitchen experiences can boost communication, teamwork, and reduce stress. Discover practical steps to make cooking a bonding experience, tips for navigating kitchen dynamics, and how to keep God at the center of your relationship. Episode Highlights: Discover how cooking together can enhance communication and teamwork. Learn practical steps for planning, cooking, and cleaning up together. Get tips on adding creativity and making cooking a fun date night activity. Understand how biblical principles support working together in relationships. Key Talking Points: The benefits of cooking together for couples. Practical steps for planning and executing a meal together. Tips for making the cooking experience enjoyable and stress-free. The importance of communication and teamwork in the kitchen. Incorporating fun and creativity into the cooking process. How to make cooking a regular date night activity. The biblical perspective on working together (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Quotes: "When we're talking about being in the kitchen and cooking, it's so much fun and just such a neat experience for two people to be in there together doing this." - Brian "The goal is really to connect and have fun with this. Um, and just appreciate each other through the process." - Heather "It's all about doing, cooking a meal where you're not talking, but that's for another time. But that could be something fun to do." - Brian Resources: Free Resource: 10 Practical Steps for Communication: Call to Action: Try cooking together as a couple and share your experience in the comments! Download our free communication guide to strengthen your relationship. Subscribe to Love How Deep for more relationship-enriching content. Connect with Love How Deep: Website: Thanks so much for listening. /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/35854380

Fighting Fair in Marriage (Ep 75) 03/19/2025

Fighting Fair in Marriage (Ep 75) Thanks for joining us for this episode of the Love How Deep podcast! Disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, but how you handle them can make or break your connection. Brian and Heather share practical, biblically-based rules for effective communication during disagreements, emphasizing respect, understanding, and a focus on solutions rather than blame. They also address the importance of safety and provide a free resource to help couples improve their communication. Key Talking Points: Disagreements are Normal: It's natural and normal to have disagreements in a relationship. Acknowledging this normalcy can reduce stress and anxiety during conflicts. Biblical Foundation: Ephesians 4:29: "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." 1 The goal is to build each other up, even during disagreements. Safety First: Physical and emotional safety are paramount. If abuse is present, seek help immediately. Communication cannot be effective in an abusive environment. Practical Communication Rules: Speak with Respect: Treat your spouse with the same respect you show others. Attack the problem, not the person. Remain fully present during conversations. Stick to the Issue: Avoid bringing up past grievances or unrelated problems. Focus on resolving the current conflict. Own Your Feelings: Use "I" statements to express your emotions. Avoid blaming your spouse for your feelings. Listen Actively: Pay attention to what your spouse is saying. Repeat and clarify to ensure understanding. Avoid forming your rebuttal before your spouse has finished speaking. Keep Your Voice Calm: Avoid raising your voice or yelling. Maintain an even tone to prevent escalation. Avoid the Blame Game: Focus on finding solutions, not assigning blame. Acknowledge that both parties may have contributed to the issue. Avoid "You Always" or "You Never" Statements: These absolutes are rarely accurate and can lead to defensiveness. Focus on specific behaviors rather than character attacks. Stay Engaged: Avoid shutting down or withdrawing from the conversation. Take a Break: If needed, calmly request a break to cool down. Set a time to return to the conversation. The person who calls for the break, should be the one to reinitiate the conversation. Reflect Before Reacting: Take time to understand your own emotions. Remember the Goal: Focus on strengthening your relationship and finding solutions together. Remember that you are on the same team. Strengthening Through Conflict: Handling disagreements effectively can strengthen your marriage. Each resolved conflict builds resilience and deeper connection. Actionable Steps: Listen to the episode together. Jot down the communication tips. Choose one tip to focus on improving. Have a conversation about what you both can do better. Free Resource: "10 Practical Steps for Communication" guide. Link in the show notes. Call to Action: Like, follow, and subscribe to the Love How Deep podcast. Download the free communication guide below Start implementing these communication rules in your marriage. Links: Link to "" /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/35750630

74: The Blended Family Journey - Yours, Mine, Ours 03/12/2025

74: The Blended Family Journey - Yours, Mine, Ours Welcome to the Love How Deep Podcast with hosts Brian and Heather Mayer JD and Shannon West share their inspiring journey of creating a strong blended family. Discover practical advice on co-parenting, communication, and prioritizing your marriage in a blended family. Episode Description (Long - for show notes, website, etc.): In this episode of the Love How Deep Podcast, hosts Brian and Heather welcome JD and Shannon West to share their powerful story of building a thriving blended family. JD and Shannon open up about their experiences with divorce, co-parenting, and the unique challenges of blending two families into one. They offer practical advice on navigating different parenting styles, maintaining healthy communication, and prioritizing their marriage amidst the complexities of blended family life. Discover how their faith played a crucial role in their journey and how they found unity and love. Whether you're in a blended family, considering marriage, or simply seeking inspiration, this episode offers valuable insights and encouragement. Podcast Outline: Intro Introduction of the Love How Deep Podcast and hosts Brian and Heather. Warm welcome to guests JD and Shannon West. Brief overview of the episode's focus: blended families. JD and Shannon's Story JD and Shannon's background: how they met and their prior experiences. JD's experience with divorce and early parenting. The beginning of JD and Shannon's relationship and marriage. Discussion of the "why" behind the hardships they went through. Navigating Blended Family Challenges Shannon's experience entering a blended family as a first-time parent. The initial adjustments and hurdles faced by the family. Co-parenting dynamics and relationships with ex-spouses. How they avoided common divorce/co-parenting conflicts. How they helped the children adjust. Building a Strong Family The positive aspects of their blended family. The importance of sibling relationships in a blended family. How the children have adapted and thrived. Discussion about the different stages of life, and the challenges that arise. Marriage and Connection How JD and Shannon prioritize their marriage. Practical tips for staying connected as a couple. Discussion of date nights and quality time. The importance of communication. Tips for couples to connect. Faith and Family The role of faith in their marriage and family life. How their faith has guided them through challenges. The importance of prayer and a Christ-centered marriage. Conclusion - 45:00-47:00 Key takeaways and encouragement for listeners. Call to action: like, follow, subscribe, and share. @lovehowdeep Thank you to JD and Shannon West. Closing remarks from Brian and Heather. Category: Relationships, Family, Christian, Self-Help. Tags: blended family, marriage, co-parenting, divorce, stepfamily, family relationships, Christian marriage, faith, family dynamics, parenting advice, family support, relationship advice. /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/35633210

73: Marriage Benefits of Church Attendance 03/05/2025

72: Reading Together to Strengthen Your Marriage 02/26/2025

72: Reading Together to Strengthen Your Marriage Strengthening Marriage Through Shared Reading: Tips and Benefits In this episode, Heather and Brian from Love How Deep delve into the concept of 'page turners and relationship builders,' explaining how reading books together as a couple can significantly enhance marital connections. They open the discussion by reflecting on their own journey, noting that while they didn't engage in shared reading early in their marriage, it has since become a valuable activity for them. The session is peppered with practical advice and personal anecdotes aimed at encouraging couples to explore this unique way of reconnecting. The duo stresses that the specific genre of the book is less crucial than the shared activity itself. Whether it's fiction, non-fiction, spiritual texts, or even Bible studies, the key is the shared experience and the conversations it sparks. Heather and Brian debunk the myth that couples need to read only marriage-centric books, emphasizing instead the importance of variety to keep the activity interesting and engaging. They recount their experience reading 'Where the Red Fern Grows,' a children's classic that evoked emotional connections and led to meaningful discussions. Heather recalls how sharing tears over a fictional story helped them connect on a deeper emotional level. Heather and Brian also tackle common excuses couples might have about not having enough time to read together. They argue that even with busy schedules, finding 'little pockets of time'—be it 10 minutes in the morning over coffee, or a few minutes before bed—can make this activity feasible. Offering multiple time-management tips, they underscore the need to prioritize activities that build the relationship. They also advise not to aim for unrealistic goals like reading entire books in one go but to take it 'one page at a time' and relish the quality moments rather than quantity. Their practical advice extends to alternating book choices, so both partners feel involved and respected. The concept of being open-minded is frequently emphasized, encouraging couples to step out of their comfort zones and explore different types of literature. Heather and Brian share a relatable instance of attending a mini-marriage conference where they were advised to keep an open mind, a principle they now apply to their reading endeavors. The session also delves into the layers of benefits that come with shared reading. It's not just about the act of reading but about the conversations and emotional exchanges it prompts. Heather and Brian explain how pausing to discuss and reflect on what they've read often leads to deeper conversations about life experiences, emotions, and even spiritual beliefs. They cite an example of Heather participating in a neighborhood Bible study, finding the content so powerful that she shared it with Brian, which further deepened their discussions and mutual understanding. Even the challenges of reading together are addressed candidly. Brian humorously admits to moments of not paying full attention during their reading sessions, underscoring that it's normal and okay for couples to have imperfections in their journey. This candidness makes the advice practical and relatable, reducing the intimidation factor for couples new to shared reading. In promoting the advantages of reading together, Heather and Brian touch on how this activity fosters a positive emotional environment. It allows couples to share memories, both happy and sad, which can be therapeutic and bonding. The conversations ignited by these books offer a break from the routine discussions about mundane life stressors, making room for more enjoyable, light-hearted dialogues. Towards the end of the episode, the hosts reiterate their advice: choose any book that interests you, find those small time slots, and focus on quality over quantity. They encourage couples to remain flexible and forgiving towards themselves and each other as they build this new habit, stressing that consistency, more than perfection, is key. Heather and Brian also highlight their online course on forgiveness, designed to aid couples in overcoming past hurts and improving communication. They offer a special promotional code, making the course an accessible resource for anyone interested. This course ties into the broader theme of their podcast—helping couples grow closer through various means, including shared activities like reading. Please Like, Follow, or Subscribe Wherever You Listen to this Podcast! /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/35398140

71: 7 Ways to Build a Stronger Marriage 02/19/2025

71: 7 Ways to Build a Stronger Marriage Want a marriage that thrives, not just survives? Join Brian Mayer from Love How Deep as he dives into 7 science-backed strategies to strengthen your relationship! Drawing from the renowned research of Dr. John Gottman, this episode reveals the secrets to building a "Sound Relationship House." Learn how to: Build Love Maps: Truly know and understand your partner on a deep level. Share Fondness & Admiration: Express appreciation and affection in ways that resonate. Turn Towards: Respond positively to your partner's bids for connection. Manage Conflict: Navigate disagreements constructively and avoid the "Four Horsemen" that can destroy your relationship. Support Each Other's Goals: Foster open communication about individual dreams and aspirations. Create Shared Meaning: Align on core values and life philosophies. Cultivate Trust & Commitment: The essential foundation for a lasting partnership. Brian also shares practical tips and insights on improving communication, handling conflict, and reigniting the spark in your marriage. Whether you're just starting out or have been married for years, this episode is packed with valuable advice to help you build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. Ready to take your marriage to the next level? Claim your FREE guide, "10 Practical Communication Strategies," to start improving your communication today! Visit: https://love-how-deep.kit.com/practical-communication-strategies Connect with Love How Deep: Visit our website: www.lovehowdeep.com Keywords: marriage, marriage advice, couples, relationships, communication, love, intimacy, marriage goals, strong marriage, gottman, lovehowdeep, brian mayer, podcast, relationship goals, self-esteem, conflict resolution, date night, household chores, couples goals, healthy relationships, christian marriage, biblical marriage, marriage podcast, relationship advice, marriage help, couples therapy, premarital counseling, marriage tips /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/35190305

70: 10 Key Questions to Revitalize Your Marriage 02/12/2025

70: 10 Key Questions to Revitalize Your Marriage Episode Summary: When was the last time you and your spouse had a truly meaningful conversation? In the hustle and bustle of daily life, it's easy to get stuck in surface-level exchanges. On this episode of Love How Deep, Brian and Heather Mayer share 10 key questions designed to spark deep, meaningful conversations and revitalize your marriage. These questions will help you reconnect, rediscover each other, and strengthen your bond. In this episode, you'll discover: Brian and Heather model how to ask and answer these questions, sharing personal anecdotes and creating a vulnerable and relatable atmosphere. The 10 questions explored are: What is a favorite memory you cherish of us? If we could relive one day together, which would it be? What's a dream you have for our future together? What's something you wish I knew about you right now? What's a small thing I do that makes you feel loved? If you could change one thing about how we communicate, what would it be? What's a way we can make more time for each other? What's something new you'd like to try together? How do you feel God is working in our marriage right now? What is one thing you're grateful for about me today? Key Takeaways: Meaningful conversation is crucial for a thriving marriage. Asking intentional questions can lead to deeper connection and intimacy. Sharing memories, dreams, and vulnerabilities strengthens your bond. Regularly checking in with each other helps maintain a strong and healthy relationship. Even small changes, like setting aside dedicated time together, can make a big difference. Actionable Steps: Schedule a date night (or "date time"): Set aside dedicated time to connect with your spouse without distractions. Choose a few questions: Don't feel pressured to ask all 10 at once. Start with a few that resonate with you and your spouse. Listen actively and respond with empathy: Focus on truly understanding your spouse's perspective. Be vulnerable and share openly: Create a safe space for honest and authentic communication. Follow up: Continue the conversation beyond the initial discussion. Resources: Free Resource: Download our free printable with all 10 questions to use in your own marriage: [Link to Free Resource - If available] Special Offer: Forgiveness Online Course: Only $19! Are you and your spouse struggling with past hurts, betrayals, or unresolved conflict? Our Forgiveness Online Course provides practical tools, biblical insights, and proven strategies to help you navigate the journey of forgiveness and healing. This course will help you: Understand the power of forgiveness Learn practical steps to forgive and be forgiven Break free from resentment and bitterness Rebuild trust and intimacy in your relationship For a limited time, get our Forgiveness Online Course for only $19! Visit www.lovehowdeep.com/forgiveness [invalid URL removed] [invalid URL removed] [invalid URL removed] [invalid URL removed] [invalid URL removed] and use code fg19 at checkout. Connect with Us: We'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts on this episode and connect with us on social media: Instagram: @lovehowdeepmarriage Facebook: www.facebook.com/lovehowdeep Website: lovehowdeep.com Subscribe to the Love How Deep Podcast: Don't miss out on future episodes! Subscribe to the Love How Deep podcast wherever you listen to podcasts: Search "Love How Deep" on your favorite podcast app. Thank you for listening! /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/34995405

69: Debunking Common Marriage Myths 02/05/2025

69: Debunking Common Marriage Myths Welcome to the Love How Deep Podcast with Brian and Heather Mayer "Love conquers all," "Happy wife, happy life," "Opposites attract"—we've all heard these marriage cliches. But are they true nuggets of wisdom, or harmful myths that set unrealistic expectations? In this episode of Love How Deep, Brian and Heather Mayer dive into some common marriage cliches, separating fact from fiction and offering practical, biblical advice for building a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. In this episode, you'll discover: "Love means never having to say you're sorry": We debunk this myth and discuss the importance of apologies and forgiveness in a healthy marriage. "Happy wife, happy life": We explore the dangers of a one-sided approach to marriage and emphasize the importance of mutual respect and consideration. "Only opposites attract": We examine the role of similarities and differences in attraction and long-term compatibility. "Marriage is a 50/50 partnership": We challenge this common notion and explain why giving 100% is crucial, even when it's not reciprocated. "You complete me": We discuss the importance of individual wholeness and how God, not our spouse, is the ultimate source of fulfillment. "Never go to bed angry": We offer a balanced perspective on conflict resolution and the importance of addressing issues constructively. "The honeymoon phase doesn't last": We explore how to maintain romance and passion throughout the different seasons of marriage. "Love conquers all": We clarify the true meaning of love as an action and its power to overcome challenges when combined with effort and commitment. "Marriage is a ball and chain": We challenge this negative view and highlight the joys and benefits of a healthy, fulfilling marriage. "Happy couples never fight": We debunk this myth and explain that conflict is normal and can even strengthen a relationship when handled constructively. Key Scripture: James 5:16 Ephesians 5:25 Amos 3:3 Philippians 2:3-4 Colossians 2:10 Ephesians 4:26 Song of Solomon 2:16 1 Corinthians 13:7 Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 Proverbs 15:1 Actionable Steps: Reflect on your own beliefs: Consider which marriage cliches you've internalized and how they might be affecting your relationship. Communicate openly: Discuss these myths with your spouse and share your perspectives. Focus on action: Remember that love is a verb. Show your love through actions of service, kindness, and understanding. Seek godly counsel: If you're facing significant challenges in your marriage, seek guidance from a trusted pastor, counselor, or mentor. Resources: (Optional) Link to any related blog posts, articles, or resources on your website. Special Offer: Forgiveness Online Course: Only $19! Are you and your spouse struggling with past hurts, betrayals, or unresolved conflict? Our Forgiveness Online Course provides practical tools, biblical insights, and proven strategies to help you navigate the journey of forgiveness and healing. This course will help you: Understand the power of forgiveness Learn practical steps to forgive and be forgiven Break free from resentment and bitterness Rebuild trust and intimacy in your relationship For a limited time, get our Forgiveness Online Course for only $19! Visit www.lovehowdeep.com/forgiveness and use code fg19 at checkout. Connect with Us: We'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts on this episode and connect with us on social media: Instagram: @lovehowdeepmarriage Facebook: www.facebook.com/lovehowdeep Website: www.lovehowdeep.com Subscribe to the Love How Deep Podcast: Don't miss out on future episodes! Subscribe to the Love How Deep podcast wherever you listen to podcasts: Search "Love How Deep" on your favorite podcast app. Thank you for listening! /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/34995390

68: 5 Ways to Improve Marriage Communication 01/29/2025

68: 5 Ways to Improve Marriage Communication Welcome to the Love How Deep Podcast! Do you ever feel like you and your spouse are just skimming the surface in your conversations? Like you're not truly connecting on a deeper level? You're not alone. In this episode of Love How Deep, Brian and Heather Mayer explore the 5 Levels of Communication, providing practical tools and biblical wisdom to help you cultivate true intimacy in your marriage. We dive into each level, from casual greetings to sharing your deepest dreams, explaining why each one is important and how to move through them effectively. In this episode, you'll learn: Cliche Conversation: Why these surface-level exchanges are still important and how to make them more meaningful. Facts: How to go beyond just sharing logistics and connect on an emotional level. Opinions: How to navigate differing viewpoints with grace, understanding, and respect. Feelings: The vital importance of creating a safe space for vulnerability and emotional connection. Peak Communication: Reaching the highest level of connection by sharing your deepest dreams, visions, and vulnerabilities. Brian and Heather share personal stories, practical tips, and powerful scripture to illustrate these principles and help you transform your communication. Key Scripture: Proverbs 15:23 Luke 10:38-42 Ephesians 4:2-3 Psalm 34:18 Genesis 2:24 Colossians 4:6 Actionable Steps: Be Intentional: In your everyday conversations, strive to be more present and genuinely interested in what your spouse has to say. Listen Actively: Practice active listening by giving your full attention, making eye contact, and asking clarifying questions. Create a Safe Space: Encourage vulnerability by responding with empathy and understanding, even when you disagree. Schedule Dedicated Time: Set aside regular time for meaningful conversations, free from distractions. Start Small: Begin by focusing on one or two levels of communication and gradually work your way up. Resources: Free Resource (Optional): If you created a downloadable guide or worksheet related to the 5 levels, link to it here. For example: [Link to Free 5 Levels of Communication Guide] Special Offer: Forgiveness Online Course: Only $19! Are you and your spouse struggling with past hurts, betrayals, or unresolved conflict? Our Forgiveness Online Course provides practical tools, biblical insights, and proven strategies to help you navigate the journey of forgiveness and healing. This course will help you: Understand the power of forgiveness Learn practical steps to forgive and be forgiven Break free from resentment and bitterness Rebuild trust and intimacy in your relationship For a limited time, get our Forgiveness Online Course for only $19! Visit www.lovehowdeep.com/forgiveness and use code fg19 at checkout. Connect with Us: We'd love to hear from you! Share your thoughts on this episode and connect with us on social media: Instagram: @lovehowdeepmarriage Facebook: www.facebook.com/lovehowdeep Website: www.lovehowdeep.com Subscribe to the Love How Deep Podcast: Don't miss out on future episodes! Subscribe to the Love How Deep podcast wherever you listen to podcasts. Search "Love How Deep" on your favorite podcast app. Thank you for listening! /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/34995365

67: Overcoming Past Rejection to Thrive in Marriage 01/22/2025

66: Applying God's Word to Your Marriage 01/15/2025

65: Hearing God's Voice With Greater Clarity 12/09/2024

65: Hearing God's Voice With Greater Clarity Welcome Back to Another Episode of the Love How Deep Podcast In this episode of 'Love How Deep,' Brian and Heather Mayer interview Sterling Harris, a former NFL player who has experienced both great highs and deep lows, including time in prison. Sterling shares his transformative journey to finding peace through a relationship with Jesus. They discuss the importance of hearing God's voice clearly, especially in the context of marriage, parenting, and personal struggles. Sterling talks candidly about his background in a religious environment that didn't teach him about God's active voice and how he learned to hear and recognize it. The episode offers practical advice on building a relationship with God, staying humble, repenting, and modeling emotional and spiritual intelligence for one's family. Sterling also emphasizes the critical nature of effective communication in relationships and shares his ministry's work aimed at helping individuals cultivate a deeper connection with God. Resources Mentioned Rate, Review, & Follow Love How Deep Podcast on Apple Podcasts Please consider rating and reviewing our show! This helps us support more married couples strengthen their marriage and grow closer to God. Subscribe to the for more great content like this. Thanks so much for tuning in! Time Stamps: 00:00 Welcome to the Love How Deep Podcast 00:38 Introducing Sterling Harris: From NFL to Prison and Back to Life 00:53 Finding Peace Through Jesus 01:42 The Importance of Hearing God's Voice 02:10 Personal Struggles with Hearing God's Voice 03:11 Sterling's Religious Background and Transformation 04:31 The Role of the Holy Spirit in Christianity 07:02 Communication and Humility in Relationships 09:12 Modeling Christ-Like Behavior to Children 20:20 Conflict Resolution and Repentance 26:59 Sterling's Journey to Hearing God's Voice 30:24 Caught in a Conspiracy 31:03 Questioning Faith and Finding Answers 32:53 Recognizing God's Voice 34:16 Inner Visual and Kinetic Communication 35:33 The Active Voice of God 36:28 Biblical Metaphors and Personal Revelations 37:10 Experiencing God's Guidance 38:13 Hearing God's Voice in Everyday Life 38:49 Building Intimacy with God 40:01 Practical Steps to Hear God's Voice 41:13 Personal Testimonies and Ministry Impact 42:53 The Importance of Relationship with God 44:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/34350545

64: New Year New You 01/01/2025

64: New Year New You Welcome Back to The Love How Deep podcast! In this episode hosts Brian and Heather Mayer discuss the significance of New Year's resolutions for individuals and couples. They explore common resolutions such as health, finances, personal growth, and relationship improvement, and provide practical tips for setting achievable goals. The episode also delves into the importance of incorporating spiritual growth and God's guidance into the resolution-making process. The hosts address why resolutions often fail and share strategies for maintaining commitment, emphasizing the need for realistic objectives, accountability, and prayer. 1. Introduction "As the New Year begins, it's the perfect time to reflect on your marriage and set a vision for what God can do in your relationship." Overview: We want to guide couples on how to embrace the New Year as an opportunity to renew their relationship, grow closer to God, and cultivate habits that strengthen their bond. Key Verse: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” (2 Corinthians 5:17) 2. Talk About Most Common New Year’s Resolutions Health & Fitness: Losing weight, eating healthier, exercising more. Finances: Saving money, paying off debt, or learning to budget better. Personal Growth: Learning a new skill, reading more books, or pursuing a hobby. Relationships: Spending more time with family, improving communication, or resolving conflicts. Spiritual Growth: Praying more, attending church regularly, or reading the Bible daily. Mention how marriage-specific resolutions might include improving communication, prioritizing date nights, or praying together regularly. Key Verse: “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” (Proverbs 29:18) 3. Statistics About Resolutions (Percent of People Who Maintain Resolutions) Initial Enthusiasm: Approximately 43% of people expect to keep their resolutions. Drop-Off Rates: Studies show only 23% of people stay committed after one month. Long-Term Success: By the end of the year, only about 9-12% report achieving their resolution goals. Top Factors for Success: Specific goals, accountability, and consistency increase the likelihood of success. Relate these statistics to marriage goals, emphasizing the importance of staying intentional and consistent throughout the year. Key Verse: “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.” (Romans 12:2) 4. Why Do New Year’s Resolutions Fail Unrealistic Goals: Setting lofty or vague goals without actionable steps (e.g., “I want a better marriage” vs. “We’ll pray together every evening”). Lack of Accountability: Without support or a system in place, it’s easy to lose momentum. Overwhelming Change: Trying to tackle too many resolutions at once can lead to burnout. Distractions: Life’s busyness can sideline good intentions. No Rooted Motivation: Goals disconnected from deeper values or faith often fizzle out. Key Verse: “His mercies are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.” (Lamentations 3:22-23) 5. Incorporate God Into the Process Pray for Guidance: Invite God to reveal His plans for your marriage in the coming year. Use the Word as a Foundation: Commit to studying Bible verses about love, unity, and forgiveness (e.g., Colossians 3:14, Ephesians 4:32). Discuss the importance of surrendering personal and marital struggles to God. Key Verse: "I can do all this through him who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13) 6. Examples Health Goal for Couples: Walk together for 30 minutes daily and use the time to talk or pray. Financial Goal: Create a joint budget to align your spending with God’s priorities, like tithing or saving for family needs. Communication Goal: Commit to one uninterrupted hour each week to connect deeply, using open-ended questions. Compliment your spouse once every day. Ask family to share best of the day. Random Acts of Kindness. 5 Love Languages. Spiritual Goal: Begin a habit of praying aloud together before bed or choosing a verse for the year that represents your marriage focus. Conflict Resolution Goal: Practice “the 24-hour rule” where conflicts are addressed within a day, with God’s guidance for resolution. Take a deep breath. Ask for timeout when necessary. A supportive partnership strengthens a marriage during life’s challenges. Couples are called to persist together, even when the way forward seems impossible. Key Verse: “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit.” (John 15:5) 8. Call to Action Pray about one specific area they’d like to grow in as a couple this year. Share this episode with another couple who might benefit from these principles. Please share this episode and subscribe to our podcast through: Please Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts! Timestamps 00:00 Welcome to the Love How Deep Podcast 01:01 New Year, New You: Common Resolutions 05:09 Why Resolutions Fail and How to Succeed 10:36 Incorporating God into Your Resolutions 15:20 Practical Tips for Couples 25:16 Wrapping Up and Resources Thank you so much for tuning in! /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/34475230

63: What Mary and Joseph Teach Us About Marriage 12/24/2024

63: What Mary and Joseph Teach Us About Marriage Podcast Outline: What Mary and Joseph Teach Us About Marriage "How does the story of Joseph, Mary, and the birth of Jesus shine a light on our marriages today? Their journey teaches us about trust, obedience, worship, support, and faith in the face of the unknown." Overview: This episode explores the Christmas story from a fresh perspective, drawing lessons for couples to apply to their relationships. 2. Theme 1: OBEDIENCE to God’s Will and Stepping Out in FAITH Scriptural References: Luke 1:26-38: Mary’s obedience to follow God’s will, saying, “May your word to me be fulfilled,” despite not fully understanding how it would unfold. It’s impossible. (I am not worthy). Matthew 1:18-25: Joseph’s obedience after God’s message in a dream, trusting Mary’s story and God’s plan. This is not allowed. (We will be despised). Marriage Application: Obedience in marriage means aligning your relationship with God’s will, even when the path is unclear. Like Joseph and Mary, couples can choose obedience by supporting one another and walking in faith, even in the face of uncertainty. Discussion Prompt: How can couples encourage one another to hear and follow God’s voice? 3. Theme 2: TRUSTING God and SUPPORTING Each Other (The Journey – Nazareth, Bethlehem, Egypt, Nazareth) Scriptural References: Luke 2:1-7: Trust in God to guide them safely during Mary’s pregnancy. Matthew 2:13-15: Trust in God’s guidance as Joseph obeys the dream to flee to Egypt, stepping into the unknown to protect his family. Angel of the Lord continues to come to Joseph – spiritual leadership. Marriage Application: Marriage thrives when both partners trust God and trust each other to hear from Him. Trusting God involves believing He will care for your family, even when you can’t see the full picture. A supportive partnership strengthens a marriage during life’s challenges. Couples are called to persist together, even when the way forward seems impossible. Discussion Prompt: What steps can couples take to deepen their trust in God and each other? What are some practical ways to support your spouse during a challenging season? 4. Theme 3: Worship and Gratitude in the Midst of Trials Scriptural References: Luke 1:46-56: Mary’s song of worship (The Magnificat) praises God’s faithfulness even as she faces the uncertainty of her role in His plan. She is still in a place where this has not completely unfolded yet (praise in the midst of trials! (while she was with Elizabeth). Luke 2:19: Mary treasured and pondered all the events surrounding Jesus’ birth, seeing the unfolding of God’s vision. Marriage Application: Worship during trials brings perspective and strength to a marriage. Gratitude shifts focus from the challenges to God’s blessings and faithfulness. Discussion Prompt: How can couples create moments of worship and gratitude, even in difficult seasons? 7. Practical Takeaways for Marriage Lesson 1: OBEDIENCE to God’s will builds trust and unity. This also includes FAITH Lesson 2: TRUST God and your spouse to hear from Him, especially during difficult times. This also means SUPPORTING each other in the midst of challenges. Lesson 3: WORSHIP together as an act of gratitude, even in trials. Please share this episode and subscribe to our podcast through: Apple Podcasts YouTube www.youtube.com/@lovehowdeep 9. Closing Thank you for joining and encourage them to tune in next week for more biblical marriage insights. /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/34548565

62: Navigating Grief in Marriage - Finding Strength Together 12/18/2024

61: Empty Nest Adventures - Finding Joy in Togetherness 12/11/2024

60: Thriving in Biblical Roles of Husband and Wife 12/04/2024

60: Thriving in Biblical Roles of Husband and Wife Are you operating in the biblical roles God set forth for marriage? In this episode, Brian and Heather Mayer interview Michael and Tania Koehler, founders of Marriage Mania Ministry. They discuss their approach to biblical roles in marriage. They emphasize the complementarian view, highlighting specific commands for husbands (lead, protect, provide) and wives (submit, respect, support). They share personal experiences, noting challenges in their own marriage and the importance of humility, prayer, and mutual respect. They stressed that submission is loving and not demanding, and advised against nagging or demanding change in one's spouse. They also mentioned their resources, including books and online content, available at marriagemaniaministry.com. Introduction and Background of Michael and Tania Koehler Brian Mayer introduces Michael and Tania Koehler, highlighting their marriage ministry and the similarities in their missions. Michael and Tania express their excitement about being on the program and the importance of the topic. Brian and Heather Mayer share their excitement about learning from Michael and Tania. Michael and Tania share their background, including their marriage, their daughter, and their ministry, Marriage Mania Ministry. Overview of Marriage Mania Ministry Michael and Tania describe their ministry, which includes teaching classes, mentoring couples, and expanding their reach online. They mention their podcast, books, and other materials, including a marriage coloring book and gratitude journals. Tania shares about her book "The Helper: The Role of a Biblical Wife" and Michael's companion book on the role of a biblical husband. Michael and Tania discuss their journey in ministry and the impact of their online presence. Biblical Roles of the Husband and Wife Michael explains the egalitarian and complementarian views on the roles of husbands and wives. He emphasizes the complementarian view, stating that men and women are different and have distinct roles from God. Michael outlines specific commands for husbands and wives from the Bible, including leadership and submission. He highlights the importance of following God's ways because they are the best way to do things. Challenges and Misconceptions in Biblical Roles Tania and Michael discuss the cultural view of submission and how it differs from the biblical perspective. They emphasize that submission is a loving act and not a demanding right. Michael talks about the importance of husbands leading as Christ leads the church, sacrificially and with understanding. Tania shares her personal journey of learning and unlearning about submission and respect in marriage. Personal Experiences and Learning in Marriage Tania shares her initial resistance to starting their marriage ministry and how she eventually came to support it. She discusses the importance of respect and communication in marriage and how she has grown in understanding submission. Michael talks about his tendency to people-please and how he has learned to lead his family with God's guidance. They both emphasize the importance of humility and prayer in their leadership and decision-making. Practical Advice for Couples Heather Mayer shares her experiences with couples who struggle with decision-making and submission. Michael and Tania discuss the importance of weighing both spouses' desires and making decisions that are best for the family. They emphasize the need for communication and understanding in marriage. Tania highlights the importance of gratitude and respect in building a strong marriage. Addressing Misunderstandings and Misconceptions Brian Mayer asks about the misunderstandings and misconceptions around submission. Michael explains that submission is not about losing oneself but about looking out for the interests of others. Tania emphasizes that submission is a loving act and not a demanding right. They discuss the importance of understanding the specific commands for husbands and wives in the Bible. Handling Quarrelsome or Nagging Spouses Brian Mayer asks Michael how he handles a quarrelsome or nagging wife. Michael emphasizes the importance of self-reflection and prayer for both spouses. He suggests focusing on personal growth and allowing the Holy Spirit to work in the marriage. Tania shares her advice for wives who feel their husbands are not leading, emphasizing the importance of repentance and gratitude. Final Thoughts and Resources Brian Mayer wraps up the conversation, expressing gratitude for the insights shared by Michael and Tania. Michael and Tania mention their resources, including their books and online presence, and provide contact information. They express their desire to continue connecting and supporting each other in their ministries. The conversation ends with mutual appreciation and a commitment to stay connected. Resources Mentioned Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts Please consider rating and reviewing our show! This helps us support more married couples strengthen their marriage and grow closer to God. Youtube Subscribe to the for more great content like this. Thanks so much for tuning in! /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/33996737

59: Uplevel Your Marriage with these Money Hacks 11/27/2024

59: Uplevel Your Marriage with these Money Hacks Ready to take control of your finances and strengthen your marriage in the process? In this episode, you’ll hear Brian and Heather Mayer share practical financial hacks designed just for married couples like you. From budgeting tips to creative ways to save, they’ll inspire you to make small changes that add up to big results. Heather and Brian open up about their personal experiences with financial hardships, offering insights on how strategies like meal planning, secondhand shopping, and tithing have made a difference in their lives. You’ll discover the value of using free resources from your local library, implementing the cash envelope system, and cautiously using credit card rewards. They also cover practical steps like doing insurance checkups, setting up automatic transfers to a high-yield savings account, and planning no-spend days to keep your finances on track. As you listen, you’ll learn how trading services within your family or community can save money while building relationships. Heather and Brian’s simple yet effective ideas will empower you to take charge of your financial management with confidence and purpose. Action Items for You Plan your meals and prep on Sundays to reduce spending on dining out. Visit secondhand stores or try DIY projects for clothing and home decor. Review your insurance policies and shop around for better rates. Set up automatic transfers to a high-yield savings account for consistent saving. Schedule a no-spend day or weekend and explore free or low-cost family activities. Check out the free Goal Setting 301 resource to sharpen your financial goals. Episode Highlights Financial Hacks for Married Couples You’ll hear Heather and Brian share their own financial journey, including their challenges with debt and how they overcame them. Their relatable stories will motivate you to cut non-essential expenses and focus on what truly matters. Meal Planning and Preparation Are you spending too much on eating out? Heather and Brian explain how planning meals for the week and involving your kids in the process can save you time and money. Shopping at Secondhand Stores If you’ve never considered secondhand shopping, you’ll be surprised by the treasures Heather and Brian have found! Learn how thrift stores can help you save on everything from furniture to clothes. Tithing and Financial Blessings Discover the peace and blessings that come from tithing, as Heather shares her personal experience of God’s provision during hard times. Library Resources and Cash Envelope System Save more by taking advantage of free resources like books and movies from your library. Plus, find out how the cash envelope system can help you stay on budget. Credit Cards and Insurance Checkups Get tips on using credit cards wisely and how regular insurance reviews can help you avoid unnecessary costs. Automatic Transfers and No-Spend Days Learn how automatic savings transfers and no-spend days can keep your finances in check while encouraging your family to embrace simpler, fun activities. Trading Services and Financial Goals Ever thought about trading services with friends or neighbors? Heather and Brian explain how this can be a win-win for saving money and building community. Resources for You Free Worksheets: Don’t miss the free Goal Setting 301 guide to help you create actionable financial goals. Subscribe to the podcast and their YouTube channel for more practical tips and encouragement. Heather and Brian leave you with this reminder: being good stewards of your money isn’t just about cutting costs—it’s about managing your resources with intention and aligning them with biblical principles. Take the next step today, and watch how these small hacks can transform your finances and your marriage! Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts Please consider rating and reviewing our show! This helps us support more married couples strengthen their marriage and grow closer to God. Subscribe: To the for more great content like this. /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/33996762

58: Creating Peace for You and Your Relationship 11/20/2024

57: A Morning Routine for Your Marriage 11/13/2024

56: Marriage is Like a Dance 11/06/2024

56: Marriage is Like a Dance Brian and Heather Mayer discuss the analogy of marriage as a dance, emphasizing the importance of choosing the right partner who shares values and faith. They highlight the necessity of communication and understanding each other's steps, likening it to non-verbal cues in dancing. The conversation covers the significance of balance and flexibility in marriage, the roles of leading and following, and the importance of celebrating each other's successes. They stress the need for mutual submission, forgiveness, and shared goals. The metaphor extends to navigating life's storms together, with God's presence as a guiding force, and concludes with the promise of resilience and commitment through adversity. Transcript Action Items [ ] Create shared goals and a vision for the marriage. [ ] Celebrate each other's successes and joys, rather than being critical. [ ] Offer forgiveness and grace when mistakes are made. [ ] Trust in God's presence and guidance, especially during difficult times. Outline Choosing the Right Dance Partner Brian Mayer and Heather Mayer discuss the importance of choosing the right dance partner, emphasizing that it is crucial in both dancing and marriage. Heather mentions that in professional dancing, having a partner with similar skill levels is essential for success. Brian and Heather agree that while personalities can be different, shared values and beliefs are crucial for a successful marriage. Heather references 2 Corinthians 6:14, emphasizing the importance of having a partner who shares the same faith. Learning the Steps: Communication and Understanding Brian compares learning dance steps to the importance of communication in marriage, stating that knowing the next step is essential. Heather highlights the importance of non-verbal communication in dancing, similar to how couples need to sense each other's needs and feelings. Brian shares James 1:19, emphasizing the importance of being quick to listen and slow to speak and anger. Heather and Brian discuss the balance and flexibility needed in a marriage, comparing it to the rhythm of a dance. Leading and Following in Marriage Brian and Heather discuss the roles of leading and following in both dancing and marriage, noting that while men typically lead in dancing, this is not always the case in relationships. Heather emphasizes the importance of respecting each other's roles and not taking the lead when it is not appropriate. Brian explains his understanding of being the spiritual head of the household, emphasizing prayer and communication with God. Heather and Brian discuss the importance of mutual submission and respect, referencing Ephesians 5:21. Celebrating Each Other's Successes Heather and Brian talk about the joy of celebrating each other's successes, whether it is a promotion at work or overcoming a difficult situation. Heather shares the importance of finding joy in each other's achievements and not being envious or resentful. Brian and Heather discuss the importance of celebrating together, such as going out to dinner or having a party to mark significant achievements. Heather references Proverbs 17:17, emphasizing the importance of a friend who loves at all times and a brother who is born for a time of adversity. Overcoming Missteps: Grace and Forgiveness Brian and Heather discuss the importance of forgiveness and grace in marriage, comparing it to stepping on each other's toes while dancing. Brian shares a personal story about horseback riding to illustrate the importance of forgiveness and not holding grudges. Heather emphasizes the need for mutual forgiveness and the importance of not being critical or angry when missteps occur. Brian references Ecclesiastes 4:32, encouraging kindness and compassion in marriage. Creating a Shared Vision: Goals and Dreams Heather and Brian discuss the importance of having shared goals and visions in marriage, comparing it to creating a shared vision in dancing. Heather shares their practice of setting goals together, both fun and practical, and keeping them visible to remind them of their shared vision. Brian and Heather emphasize the importance of financial goals and planning for the future as part of their shared vision. Heather references Ecclesiastes 4:12, highlighting the strength that comes from having a shared vision and working together. Dancing Through the Storms: Resilience and Commitment Brian and Heather discuss the importance of resilience and commitment in marriage, comparing it to dancing through unexpected storms. Brian shares their experience with Heather's cancer journey and how it strengthened their commitment and communication. Heather emphasizes the importance of seeing each other's character during difficult times and how it brings couples closer together. Brian and Heather discuss the importance of talking to each other during storms and finding ways to keep dancing together. Conclusion and Final Thoughts Brian and Heather wrap up the episode, summarizing the key points discussed about marriage being like a dance. Heather shares Isaiah 43:2, emphasizing God's promise to be with couples through all storms and challenges. Brian and Heather encourage listeners to take the lessons learned from the episode and apply them to their own marriages. Brian thanks the listeners for joining them and directs them to free resources available on their website, including a guide on effective communication. /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/33584107

55: The Four Seasons of Marriage 10/30/2024

55: The Four Seasons of Marriage Heather and Brian Mayer discuss the cyclical nature of marriage, comparing it to the four seasons. They explore the concept of new beginnings in spring, the busy and often stressful summer, the reflective and restful autumn, and the challenging winter. Each season brings unique challenges and opportunities for growth. They emphasize the importance of adapting to changes, being intentional in relationships, and seeking rest and reflection. Bible verses from Zechariah, Matthew, Psalm, and Isaiah are referenced to provide spiritual guidance. The conversation concludes with practical advice for maintaining a strong marriage through all seasons and the encouragement to seek help when needed. Transcript Action Items [ ] Make Thursday nights "Family Night" to have a dedicated time for the family to connect. [ ] Schedule a date night or time to go for a walk in the park to slow down, rest, and reconnect. [ ] Reach out for help if going through a difficult "winter" season in the marriage. Outline The Four Seasons of Marriage: Introduction Heather Mayer introduces the podcast episode, number 55, and the topic of the four seasons of marriage. Brian Mayer humorously compares the episode number to the speed limit, emphasizing the cyclical nature of the seasons. Heather explains the cyclical nature of seasons, drawing a parallel to the cyclical nature of marriage. Brian adds that one can look at life in micro and macro seasons, suggesting that a decade can be a season in marriage. Spring: New Beginnings Brian Mayer describes spring as a season of new beginnings, freshness, and regrowth. He relates spring in marriage to new beginnings, such as getting married, having children, or moving. Brian shares a personal anecdote about feeling overwhelmed when their daughter was born, emphasizing the uncertainty of new beginnings. Heather and Brian discuss the importance of allowing time to adjust to new changes and the biblical verse from Zechariah about not despising small beginnings. Summer: Busy and Active Season Heather Mayer describes summer as a busy season with vacations, sports, and various activities. Brian and Heather discuss how summer should be a time of relaxation but often becomes busy with family activities. Heather emphasizes the importance of being intentional about spending quality time with family and not letting busy activities drive a wedge between spouses. Brian suggests slowing down and being fully present in moments to avoid the stress of a busy schedule. Autumn: A Season of Rest and Reflection Brian Mayer describes autumn as a season to slow down, reflect on the past, and prepare for the future. Heather compares the fall season to a tree that stops feeding the leaves, leading to color changes, drawing a parallel to resting in marriage. They discuss the importance of pruning activities that no longer serve a purpose and making time for family and connection. Brian shares a personal story about finding rest and reflection in a pond in Fort Worth, emphasizing the need to take time to rejuvenate. Winter: The Hardest Season Heather Mayer describes winter as the hardest season, characterized by emotional distance and disconnection. Brian and Heather discuss the challenges of winter in marriage, such as feeling stuck in a rut or going through difficult times. Heather encourages listeners not to lose hope during winter seasons, as spring is coming and God is working behind the scenes. They emphasize the importance of calling on the Lord, seeking wisdom, and trusting that God will bring about change and rebirth. Conclusion and Final Thoughts Brian Mayer wraps up the episode by thanking listeners and mentioning the availability of free date night activities on their website. Heather shares a final encouraging verse from Ecclesiastes about the cyclical nature of life and the importance of being ready for change. Brian reiterates the importance of change and looking to God for rest and guidance during difficult times. They encourage listeners to subscribe to their podcast and follow them on social media for more content. /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/33584067

54: Surviving and Thriving Through Cancer 10/23/2024

53: Raising Special Needs Children the Healthy Way 10/16/2024

53: Raising Special Needs Children the Healthy Way Welcome to another episode of the Love How Deep Podcast with Brian & Heather Mayer. Brian and Heather Mayer discuss parenting special needs children with Brandon Summitt, an ordained Bishop and host of the "Charting Life" podcast. They explore the challenges and emotional aspects of parenting special needs children, emphasizing the importance of intentionality in maintaining marital connections and spending quality time with all children. Brandon highlights the role of community support, including churches and specialized organizations like the Ability Tree, which provide resources and respite care. He also stresses the significance of humor and advocacy in managing the unique needs of special needs children. The conversation underscores the importance of faith and resilience in navigating these parenting dynamics. Introduction to the Podcast and Special Guest Brian introduces the episode's focus on parenting special needs children, noting it as a less-discussed topic on the podcast. Brian and Heather mention their own struggles with parenting and the decision to bring in a guest for more specialized insights. Brandon is introduced as the guest, with Brian highlighting his background, including his marriage, ministry work, and podcast. Brian and Heather express their excitement about learning from Brandon and the educational value of the conversation. Defining Special Needs and Emotional Aspects Brandon explains that special needs can encompass a wide range of issues, including mobility, health, cognitive, and developmental disabilities. He emphasizes the importance of understanding the emotional charged nature of discussing special needs and the different preferences in language usage (e.g., "child with autism" vs. "autistic child"). Brandon mentions the need for charitable understanding and the interchangeable use of terms like special needs, disabilities, and challenges. Heather and Brian acknowledge the importance of setting a tone of understanding and inclusivity in the conversation. Keeping the Marriage Connected While Parenting a Special Needs Child Brian raises the question of how a husband and wife can stay connected while parenting a special needs child, sharing an example of a child in a wheelchair. Brandon discusses the risk of a couple drifting apart due to the demands of parenting a special needs child and the importance of maintaining fundamentals in the relationship. He shares personal anecdotes about being intentional with time together, even in small moments, and the need for flexibility in plans due to the child's needs. Heather and Brandon discuss the importance of humor and maintaining a positive outlook to handle the challenges and emotions that come with parenting a special needs child. Balancing Time with Other Children and Managing Jealousy Brian asks about balancing time with other children in the family and managing jealousy between children with special needs and those without. Brandon advises being intentional with time spent with all children, even if it means taking them on errands or including them in activities. He emphasizes the importance of adding children into every little thing possible to ensure they feel loved and included. Heather and Brandon discuss the need to pour love and affection into all children, especially when one has special needs, to ensure they feel cared for and valued. Faith and God's Role in Parenting a Special Needs Child Brian and Heather discuss the impact of having a special needs child on faith and the potential for anger or questioning God. Brandon shares his personal experience with diabetes and how his faith was tested, leading him to a deeper understanding of God's presence in pain and suffering. He recounts a significant moment when he felt God asking him to pray for strength rather than healing, and how this shift in perspective helped him and his family. Brian and Heather emphasize the importance of aligning one's will with God's will and finding peace and strength in God's presence. Community Support and Resources for Special Needs Families Brandon discusses the importance of community support and resources, including social media, churches, and specialized organizations. He highlights the benefits of larger churches with more resources and the importance of reaching out to churches for support and information. Brandon shares an example of a respite program at a church that provided a few hours of relief for parents, allowing them to take a break and reconnect. Heather mentions a local church that offers a special needs Sunday school class and vacation Bible school, providing a supportive environment for children with special needs. Advocating for Yourself and Building Connections Brandon encourages families with special needs children to advocate for themselves and seek out resources and support. He emphasizes the importance of not giving up and continuing to reach out to friends and community for support. Brandon shares the value of having a buddy system for children with special needs to help them integrate into group activities and feel included. Heather and Brandon discuss the importance of being intentional with time spent with other children and advocating for oneself to ensure needs are met. Action Items · Reach out to larger churches in the area to inquire about resources for special needs families. · Investigate the "Ability Tree" organization and see if there are any local churches partnered with them. · Continue inviting special needs families to church events, even if they decline multiple times, to let them know they are welcome. · Check out the "Center for Courageous Kids" camp in Kentucky as a potential resource for special needs families. Final Thoughts and Encouragement Brian and Heather reiterate the importance of being intentional in marriage, parenting, and advocating for oneself. They emphasize the value of community support and the importance of finding and using available resources. Brandon shares additional resources, including a camp for special needs children and the importance of maintaining connections with friends and community. The episode concludes with a reminder of the importance of faith and God's presence in the journey of parenting a special needs child. How to Connect with Brandon: /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/33363607

52: Let's Talk about Communicating 10/09/2024

52: Let's Talk about Communicating Welcome Back to the Love How Deep Podcast. Before we dive in, make sure to pick up our free resource, "" which packed full of all kind of helpful tips on how to make the communication between you and your spouse shine! Episode 52: Let's Talk About Communication Welcome to another episode of the Love How Deep Marriage Podcast with Brian and Heather Mayer! In this episode, the hosts tackle one of the most critical aspects of marriage—communication. While many issues can arise in a relationship, communication is often the underlying factor, making it vital to address this "big C" in an honest and constructive manner. Join Brian and Heather as they dive into ways couples can enhance their communication, connect on a deeper level, and create a healthy space for dialogue. The Power of Communication in Marriage Brian and Heather start by discussing how the number one challenge many couples face is communication. Often when they ask couples about their biggest struggles, communication consistently tops the list. Whether it's sharing emotions or discussing difficult topics, good communication is the foundation of a strong, healthy marriage. To help listeners improve their communication, Brian and Heather decided to make this episode a little different by utilizing conversation cards designed for couples. These cards feature thought-provoking questions meant to facilitate meaningful discussions. The goal is to answer questions and explore different communication styles on the fly, without planning their responses, making the conversation authentic and relatable. Heather emphasizes that these unscripted interactions reflect how real couples approach various issues in their marriages. Sharing Feelings with Your Partner One of the first questions they discuss is how to share feelings with your partner effectively. Heather explains that if the feelings are strong or bring up negative emotions, it's crucial to be mindful of how to approach these conversations. Instead of jumping straight into criticism, it’s better to use "I feel" statements. For example, if she's upset about clutter in the house, rather than saying, "You messed up the house again," she would say, "I feel overwhelmed when I come home and the house is cluttered, and I can't relax." This approach focuses on how the situation makes her feel rather than directly blaming Brian, which can prevent defensive reactions. Brian nods in agreement and adds that using "I feel" statements is one of the best ways to express negative feelings constructively. Heather also emphasizes that sharing positive feelings or preferences is much easier, but it’s equally important to communicate those too. A well-rounded communication style involves discussing both the good and the challenging aspects of marriage. Distractions and Listening Next, Brian and Heather discuss what makes one partner feel like the other isn't listening. Brian identifies the phone as a frequent culprit. He acknowledges that being glued to a phone can make it difficult to engage in meaningful conversations. However, he also points out that communication is a two-way street—if Heather tries to discuss something serious while he's focused on his phone, it’s helpful if she can indicate that she needs his attention. Heather adds that it's important to preface conversations by asking for attention: for instance, saying, "Could you put your phone down for a second? I have something important to talk about." This allows the other partner to be fully present rather than feeling ambushed. Brian and Heather agree that small changes like these can make a significant difference in communication and help avoid unnecessary conflicts. Addressing Hurtful Remarks Brian and Heather also touch on how to handle situations where a partner says something hurtful. Brian admits that, in some marriages, there can be a tendency to get used to emotional hurt and avoid addressing it. However, Heather stresses that it’s important to bring up these feelings—particularly when someone says something that feels belittling or unkind. If left unspoken, these moments of hurt can accumulate and lead to resentment. Heather advises that in those moments, it’s best to speak up immediately. If Brian were to say something that made her feel put down, she would try to say, "That really hurts my heart, and it makes me feel X, Y, and Z." It’s crucial to confront the issue directly but with empathy, so that the other person understands how their words affected you. Both Brian and Heather agree that avoiding confrontation only makes things worse in the long run. The Challenge of Sharing Negative Emotions One of the challenges many couples face is the difficulty of sharing negative emotions. Brian reflects on how some people struggle to express their emotions because of how they were raised. For instance, a child who was often told to "toughen up" or "not make a scene" may grow up believing that sharing negative feelings is unproductive or will be dismissed. As a result, they might avoid sharing their true emotions with their partner. Brian encourages listeners to break that cycle by being vulnerable, even if it’s just a little at a time. Heather adds that it’s important to set the stage for success by asking for empathy: "If I’m sharing something that’s hard for me, I’ll ask Brian to go easy on me because it’s not something I’m comfortable doing." In a loving relationship, both partners need to show empathy and understanding to create a safe space for sharing. Addressing Problems and Avoiding the "Rug" Another important topic in this episode is how couples handle problems that arise in their relationship. Heather admits that in her first marriage, everything was "swept under the rug," which only made the issues fester. Problems left unaddressed can become like a "cancer in your soul," ultimately damaging the relationship beyond repair. With Brian, Heather emphasizes the importance of communicating openly about problems. It doesn't mean they always get it right, but they make a conscious effort to face their issues head-on rather than ignoring them. Both hosts encourage listeners not to ignore the problems in their marriages but to confront them in a way that leads to healthy dialogue and resolution. Timing Is Key A theme that comes up repeatedly in the episode is the importance of timing in communication. Heather and Brian stress that when it comes to difficult topics, the timing of the conversation can significantly impact how it unfolds. Trying to discuss a sensitive issue when the other person is distracted or stressed will likely lead to a negative outcome. Instead, finding a good time when both partners are in the right frame of mind can help ensure a more productive discussion. Be Willing to Compromise Heather and Brian also highlight the importance of compromise. Effective communication isn’t just about expressing feelings—it’s also about listening to your partner’s needs and finding a solution that works for both of you. Heather gives the example of wanting a clutter-free space when she comes home. While it might not always be realistic for Brian to keep everything spotless, they can compromise on maintaining specific areas clutter-free. This way, Heather gets the peace she needs, and Brian feels less pressure. Moving Forward with Empathy The episode wraps up with a reminder that empathy is the cornerstone of effective communication. Whether it’s putting the phone down, listening without interrupting, or simply validating each other’s feelings, showing empathy allows couples to grow closer. Both Brian and Heather reiterate that no marriage is perfect, but being intentional about how you communicate can make all the difference. It’s not about having it all figured out—it's about being willing to learn and grow together. Final Thoughts Brian and Heather encourage listeners to be honest about their communication struggles and work on them one step at a time. They acknowledge that every couple has their challenges, but by using strategies like "I feel" statements, choosing the right time for discussions, and being empathetic, couples can build healthier and more fulfilling relationships. Listeners are also reminded to check out communication cards if they need some inspiration for conversations. Whether you’re newly married or have been together for years, there’s always room for growth, and sometimes all it takes is a simple question to spark a meaningful dialogue. Tune in next time for more insights on building a lasting, loving marriage with God’s guidance! /episode/index/show/1e7f0b9e-a1ec-4c5f-82e0-af855b4826ce/id/33262727

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