Backtalk & Defiance: What Your Child Really Means (And How to Respond)
Release Date: 12/08/2025
Why Traditional Morning Routine Charts Fail Kids Wired Differently
Climbing Fish Parenting
If you've created a beautiful visual schedule—laminated cards, Velcro, pictures for every step—and your child is still melting down every morning, wandering off mid-routine, or standing in their underwear twenty minutes after being told to get dressed, I need you to hear this: That chart isn't failing because you did something wrong. It's failing because visual schedules are step three of a process, and everyone told you they were step one. In this episode, you'll discover: Why visual schedules are reminder systems, not teaching tools (and why that distinction changes everything) The...
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Building a Support System When You Feel Totally Alone
Climbing Fish Parenting
If you're parenting a child who's wired differently and you feel completely alone in it, that's not random and it's not your fault. Maybe family doesn't understand why you do things differently. Maybe friends stopped inviting you places. Maybe you can't find a babysitter who can handle your child's needs, so you haven't had a break in months—or years. Here's the truth: you're not supposed to do this alone, but the support you need looks different than what most people offer. In this episode, you'll discover: Why parents of kids who are wired differently predictably end up isolated (and why...
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Your Nervous System Matters Too: Co-Regulation Starts with Self-Regulation
Climbing Fish Parenting
"Just stay calm." "Be the calm in the storm." Easy to say, impossible to do when you're already depleted from co-regulating through three transitions before breakfast, making seventy decisions, and absorbing your child's anxiety all morning. Here's the truth: you can't lend your child a calm nervous system if yours is running on empty. And trying harder to "stay calm" when you're already dysregulated? That's not a reasonable expectation—it's not even biologically possible. In this episode, you'll discover: Why your child's nervous system is constantly scanning yours for cues of safety or...
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The Myth of "Doing It All": What Sustainable Parenting Actually Looks Like
Climbing Fish Parenting
If you're trying to "do it all"—homemade meals, organized systems, consistent routines, patience, self-care—while parenting a child who's wired differently, I need you to hear this: You're not failing because you're not trying hard enough. You're failing because the goal itself is impossible. That vision of "good parenting" wasn't designed for families managing constant co-regulation, sensory needs, and nervous systems that can't handle typical demands. In this episode, you'll discover: Why you're operating from a scarcity model (and how it's setting you up for collapse) How to...
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Why Parenting a Child Who's Wired Differently Is So Exhausting (And It's Not Your Fault)
Climbing Fish Parenting
If you're completely drained from parenting your child who's wired differently—and wondering if you're just not cut out for this—I need you to hear this: It's not because you're weak or doing it wrong. There are very specific, research-backed reasons why this type of parenting is exponentially more exhausting than typical parenting. And once you understand what's actually happening, you can stop blaming yourself and start protecting your energy. In this episode, you'll discover: Why you're functioning as your child's external regulation system (and what that's doing to your nervous...
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The Power of Validation: Why Your Kid Desperately Needs It
Climbing Fish Parenting
"Great, another therapy word that sounds nice but doesn't actually help when my kid is having a full meltdown in Target." I get it. But here's the thing: validation is one of the most powerful tools you have for reducing meltdowns, building confidence, and teaching your child to trust themselves. And it's way simpler than you think. In this episode, you'll discover: - What validation actually is (hint: it's not agreeing or giving permission) - Why kids who grow up without validation become adults who don't trust themselves - The 5 specific strategies for validating your child in real, messy...
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Grief and the Holidays: How to Help Your Child (And Yourself) Through Loss
Climbing Fish Parenting
Your child just asked when Grandma's coming back—for the fifth time this week. Or they're melting down over nothing. Or they seem completely fine while you're barely holding it together. And you're thinking: Am I doing this wrong? Should I hide my tears? Will talking about it make it worse? Here's the truth: Grief during the holidays is complicated—for you AND your kids. And most of us are trying to protect our children from pain in ways that actually make it harder for them to heal. In this episode, you'll discover: Why shielding your kids from grief teaches them that sadness is...
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Why Behavior Gets Worse Before It Gets Better (And How to Survive It)
Climbing Fish Parenting
You finally implemented a behavior plan. Day one went great. Day two was even better. And then day three hit—and your child didn't just whine, they SCREAMED. They escalated harder than ever before. And you're standing there thinking: "What did I do wrong? This was working!" Here's the truth: You didn't do anything wrong. What you're seeing is proof that your strategy is working. In this episode, you'll discover: - What an extinction burst is (and why it means your plan is actually working) - The three patterns extinction bursts follow (so you know what to expect) - Why most parents quit...
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Backtalk & Defiance: What Your Child Really Means (And How to Respond)
Climbing Fish Parenting
Your child just said "That's not fair!" or "You can't make me!" and you're standing there thinking: Is this disrespect? Should I shut this down? Or am I about to crush my child's voice? Here's the truth: Most of us don't know. We're navigating a massive cultural shift in parenting without a roadmap—trying to teach our kids something we were never taught ourselves. In this episode, you'll discover: - The question that changes everything: "Is this an attack, or is there a need underneath the bad delivery?" - Why boundaries often sound like backtalk when kids lack the skills to express them -...
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What's Normal Pushback vs. Actual Disrespect (By Age)
Climbing Fish Parenting
Your child just rolled their eyes at you. Or said "no" for the tenth time today. Or told you your rule is "so unfair." And you're standing there wondering: Is this normal? Or am I raising a disrespectful kid? Here's what you need to know: Most pushback isn't disrespect—it's normal development. But some behavior does cross the line, and you need to know the difference. In this episode, you'll discover: - What's developmentally normal at ages 3-5, 6-9, 10-13, and 14+ (and what actually crosses into disrespect) - Why shutting down ALL pushback teaches your child their voice doesn't matter...
info_outlineYour child just said "That's not fair!" or "You can't make me!" and you're standing there thinking: Is this disrespect? Should I shut this down? Or am I about to crush my child's voice?
Here's the truth: Most of us don't know. We're navigating a massive cultural shift in parenting without a roadmap—trying to teach our kids something we were never taught ourselves.
In this episode, you'll discover:
- The question that changes everything: "Is this an attack, or is there a need underneath the bad delivery?"
- Why boundaries often sound like backtalk when kids lack the skills to express them
- How to teach respectful disagreement when you were never taught it yourself
- The exact line between advocacy and disrespect (and how to hold it)
- Why strong-willed kids need MORE voice, not less
By the end of this episode, you'll know how to honor your child's growing voice while still teaching respect—so they become adults who can advocate for themselves AND communicate in ways people will actually listen to.
Get practical strategies at www.climbingfishparenting.com
Your kid isn't broken. Your parenting isn't broken. Sometimes we're just asking our fish to climb trees. That's what we fix here.
-Dr. Kristi