Episode 158--How Old Is Too Old To Have A Baby

Hello, and welcome to episode 158 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men around the world, reminding you, us, that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.  

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!  

 

What is today’s show about? 

 How Old Is Too Old To Have A Baby?

 

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Body of episode:

How old is too old to have a baby? Apparently it’s not age 70, because it just happened. A woman in Uganda has had not one, but two children. She just had twins! 

Now, I’m not one to judge especially when people are dealing with a situation that onlookers may not have all of the insight and details. 

I mean she lives in a part of the world where she was probably mistreated, shunned, talked about behind her back, for being childless. I mean check out this quote from the People article, link in the show notes:

‘The twins, who will go by Babiyre and Kato, have given Namukwaya and her husband a new status in their rural village. The mom will be known as Nalongo. which means mother of twins, while husband Walusimbi Badru will be known as Salongo, or father of twins.’   

She also said ‘ "There was a time I felt very sick because of the pregnancy. I spent nearly all my savings.’

 Those last six words: ‘I spent nearly all my savings’. How many times in our community, have we heard a childless not by choice woman say those words? 

As I read this story I was torn between to thoughts, two opinions. I wondered if I did enough to have a child on my own before my time ran out. It’s easy to look back and second guess, but it’s a different story when you are living the moment, so I’m not going to beat myself up.

 On the other hand, I wondered if she and her husband consider the childrens’ future? Does she have a care plan in place for them once she and her husband have passed? Does she have help with two newborns? Does she have help with them when they are two or three years old and getting into everything? How old will she be when they turn 18?  88, She will be 88!      

 How old is too old? 

 And if we ask how old is too old to have a child? How old is too old to adopt? Although at least here in the US, there are laws in place to make sure someone wanting to adopt has to have age correlation to the child’s. In other words, an adopter cannot be more than 20 years older than the child they want to adopt. According to research, that is more geared toward the adoption of an older child.

How old is too old to foster care a child? Have you ever considered fostering a child? If so, I would like to hear your experiences. Let me know! And actually, any thoughts you have on this episode content I would really love to hear. Especially on the main topic of this episode. How old is too old to have a child? Was this fair to the children, even if the mother has help? 

Am I being un-empathetic to this woman’s  plight of living in a part of the world where childlessness is frowned upon, and the woman is blamed even if the issue is on the husband’s part?

When do we become content in our childlessness? Is there such a thing, contentedness in our childlessness?   

There are links in the show notes to this and other stories I believe you may find interesting. 

 Also, be sure to visit the Resources tab. There’s a link that will take you to Sheridan Voysey’s site. Remember, I am a contributor to his new book ‘Praying Through Infertility.’         

Research links:

https://people.com/ugandan-woman-who-welcomed-twins-at-70-introduces-son-and-daughter-8423729

Articles/links of interest:

https://www.nbcnews.com/healthmain/curious-case-stone-baby-1c9926251

https://www.sbs.com.au/language/filipino/en/podcast-episode/being-a-mother-is-a-selfless-act-that-perhaps-is-not-for-me-a-story-of-a-child-free-filipina-in-sydney/2f71w36y6

https://childlessnotbychoice.net/collaborators/

 

Special thank you to:

My friend for telling me about this story.

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
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Twitter: @civilla1
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