Episode 174--Mother's Day and Shame

Hello, and welcome to episode 174 of the Childless not by Choice Podcast. My name is Civilla Morgan. My mission is to recognize and speak to childless not by choice women and men worldwide, reminding us that we can live joyful, relevant, fulfilled, childless not by choice, lives.  

Whether you have children or not, thank you for tuning in!  

 

What is today’s show about?

Mother’s Day

 

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Body of episode:

Isaiah 54:1

1“Sing, barren woman,
you who never bore a child;
burst into song, shout for joy,
you who were never in labor;
because more are the children of the desolate woman
than of her who has a husband,”
says the Lord.

I am well aware that this scripture is an analogy and not literal. I know the literal meaning, which you can search via Google or a Bible commentary if you want to know. 

 

I use the Matthew Henry Commentary for my research. I don’t want to get into the weeds here, so I am giving you homework.

I love this verse because it brings joy and hope to those of us who never had children, and not shame and derision.  Although we did not have children, we can still contribute to society by the decisions we make to be a part of society; as teachers, as aunts, as mentors; in whatever roles we choose to be a part of a child’s life. To be a part of society. Importantly: in addition to whatever you choose to do with your life. You can be an astronaut and mentor. You can be a CEO and be a wonderful aunt. 

Choose, decide, not to go inward and separate yourself from society because of the grief of childlessness. How we live our lives is always a choice. A decision. 

I know we are all in different places on our childless not by choice journey, but I am confident that as we continue on our journey, we will get to the point where we can embrace our whole selves. You are the only you. I am the only me. You will get to the point where you can embrace the missing part in your heart and yet enjoy every aspect of your life. If it could happen for me, trust me, it can happen for you. 

I’ve said in previous episodes that no one could have told me I would never have children. It was just out of the question! But we never know what life has in store for us. How we deal with it is what is important. Very important. 

I also want to say that Mother’s Day is a day created by someone to recognize mothers. Mother’s are doing the hard work to raise children to be positive contributors to a civil society. We need that now more than ever. So I am grateful to all the great mothers out there doing the hard work!  We all know that what we don’t learn at home, the world will teach us. And the world is a harsh teacher. We all know that! 

I am grateful to my mom, may she continue to rest in peace. She left this world the week before Mother’s Day, no less.  I miss her every day because I know she had my best interests at heart.

Even as an adult, she would ask me questions that made me think. 

I remember once she asked me about a certain friendship where I always seemed to be giving, but not getting anything back. It was not a deep friendship, but it was enough of a friendship where there could have been some reciprocation. 

That question made me step back and take a look at my friendships. It reminded me to value myself even as I valued others.  That one question really helped me in the years to come, to make sure I was valued in my friendships and relationships. One little question.

So, be sure to value yourself. Value your life.  Value what you do for a living. Value your place in this world. Value that little place in your heart that may feel an emptiness. 

And for those of you who teach or mentor, who have mothered whole communities, whole families…you are helping to make a positive contribution to the world by helping children become a positive contribution to society, showing them how to manage their lives, biases, selfishness, love, life, their hearts, their laundry. 

Dear childless not by choice woman, you are seen, you are remembered, you are loved, you are valued.    

 

       

Research links:

Isaiah 54:1

My contact information:

Website: www.childlessnotbychoice.net and www.civillamorgan.com
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