164: Regulate Yourself to Support Your ADHD Child with Ashley Gobeil

In this episode of The Soaring Child, host Dana Kay welcomes back child and parent therapist Ashley Gobeil to dive into a game-changing conversation for families navigating ADHD. Have you ever found yourself snapping at your child and then immediately feeling guilty? You’re not alone, and it may be more about your nervous system than your parenting skills. Dana and Ashley explore what’s really happening inside your body when you’re triggered and how understanding your own regulation is the foundation for becoming the calmest person in the room, even when your child is not.

Ashley brings over 15 years of experience in child and adolescent mental health, developmental trauma, and family dynamics. Together, she and Dana break down the difference between being reactive and responsive, the role of the nervous system in parenting, and practical regulation tools that can be integrated into even the busiest days. Whether you're deep in the trenches of ADHD parenting or simply looking to parent with more intention and connection, this episode offers hope, actionable strategies, and heartfelt encouragement.

Links Mentioned in the Show: 

Free guide: Soothing Your Parental Nervous System (created by Ashley) ADD LINK ONCE WE HAVE IT

The ADHD Thrive Parenting 4 Jumpstart Program - http://adhdthriveinstitute.com/parenting 

Other podcast episodes with Ashley - https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/?s=ashley+gobeil   

Key Takeaways:

[3:27] Intro: What Happens When We’re Triggered
[3:56] Understanding Reactivity and Regulation
[5:01] The Role of the Nervous System
[8:24] Awareness and Emotional Identification
[26:13] Feeling Emotions Without Fear
[32:35] Tools to Reset Your Nervous System
[39:14] Daily Practices That Work
[41:36] Permission to Heal
[41:54] Repair and Modeling for Children
[48:14] Final Encouragement and Takeaways

Memorable Moments:

"Triggered is when our whole nervous system almost hijacks our body."

"Our nervous system doesn’t realize we’re actually not in danger because my child told me they’re not getting dressed."

"Being regulated is different than just being calm."

"You can be frustrated, mad, annoyed, angry, and still in your zone."

"If we can be the most regulated person in the family, our children will then start to orbit to us."

"We often expect our children to show up in ways that manage our stress."

"When we model this and we do our own healing work, we are going to heal our children and the generations to come."

"Repair is a tool that every parent needs in their back pocket."

"You just need to be willing to notice, to reflect, to repair."

"Make a decision that you will eventually create a new reality for your family."

How to Connect to Ashley Gobeil:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ashleychildtherapies/?hl=en

Ashley’s ADHD Thrive Jumpstart 4 Parenting Program: http://adhdthriveinstitute.com/parenting

Dana Kay Resources:

🔗WEBSITES:

• https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
• https://dana-kay.com/

👋SOCIALS:

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/
• Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/
• Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute

📕INTERNATIONAL  BEST SELLING BOOK:

• Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/

💻FREE MASTERCLASS

• Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl

⭐COURSES & PROGRAMS

• ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
• ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/
• Dye-Free for ADHD Course - https://bit.ly/4aFj6TY