177: Parenting ADHD Teens, Calmly with Ashley Gobiel

Parenting a teenager can feel like tiptoeing through a construction zone — and ADHD cranks the jackhammer. In this episode of The Soaring Child Podcast, host Dana Kay breaks down what’s really happening in the teenage brain and why ADHD can intensify mood swings, impulsivity, and motivation slumps. This isn’t “bad behavior” or “bad parenting” — it’s a developing brain that needs different scaffolding, smarter systems, and calmer connection.
Dana is joined by therapist Ashley Gobeil, who has over 15 years of experience supporting neurodiverse families. Together they unpack practical tools for emotional regulation, communication that doesn’t escalate conflict, realistic academic supports, screen-time sanity, and how to get teens on board with nutrition changes by linking food to feelings and function. If you want fewer blowups and more buy-in, this conversation gives you the scripts, mindsets, and next steps.

Links Mentioned in the Show:
▶ ADHD Thrive Jumpstart Program (with bonus masterclasses on Leaky Gut, Emotional Intelligence, Sensory/Body Activities, and Dealing with Defiance): https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
▶ Hold On to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld & Gabor Maté (peer orientation & staying connected to teens) - https://amzn.to/4niwMKP

Key Takeaways:
[03:08] Why ADHD symptoms often intensify in the teen years
[05:02] Teen brain pruning explained with the “patchy Wi-Fi” metaphor
[08:07] Practical scaffolding: systems and supports that actually work
[09:50] Communication that regulates instead of escalates
[14:15] Staying connected to teens while peer orientation increases
[22:50] Strategies for screen-time and motivation slumps
[30:50] Linking food to function: how to get teens on board with nutrition

Memorable Moments:
“Your teen's brain is under construction.”
“This isn't bad parenting. And your child isn't broken.”
“Their brain just needs different support.”
“Teens are going through some serious brain construction.”
“That frontal lobe cortex literally is like the patchiest Wi-Fi possible.”
“Teenagers with ADHD… those symptoms could exacerbate in those teenage years.”
“They do need a lot of hands on help and scaffolding.”
“Consciously, we want our kids to feel seen, heard, acknowledged, and valued for all parts of who they are.”
“We actually still want them orbiting around us.”
“There’s no such thing as laziness — it’s actually a lack of motivation.”

Dana Kay Resources:

🔗WEBSITES:

▶ https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/
▶ https://dana-kay.com/

👋SOCIALS:

▶ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ADHDThriveInstitute/
▶ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/ADHDThriveInstitute
▶ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/adhd-thrive-institute/mycompany/
▶ Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.ph/adhdthriveinstitute/
▶ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@adhd_thriveinstitute

📕INTERNATIONAL  BEST SELLING BOOK:

▶ Thriving with ADHD – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/book/

💻FREE MASTERCLASS

▶ Free Reduce ADHD Symptoms Naturally Masterclass - https://bit.ly/3GAbFQl

⭐COURSES & PROGRAMS

▶ ADHD Parenting Course – https://info.adhdthriveinstitute.com/parentingadhd
▶ ADHD Thrive Method 4 Kids Program – https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/packages/