You Yelled. Now What? Repairing After You Lose It (in 90 seconds)
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
Release Date: 12/18/2025
Smartphones, Social Media, and the Battle for Balance (Middle & High School Edition)
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
Smartphones, Social Media, and the Battle for Balance (Middle & High School Edition) Middle school and high school phones aren’t just “screens.” They’re belonging, identity, anxiety management, and a 24/7 stream of social information—right in your kid’s pocket. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude helps you set boundaries that protect sleep, school focus, and mental health without turning your relationship into constant conflict… and without becoming the full-time group chat crisis manager. Anchor line to keep in your back pocket: “Phones are a tool and a resource. They...
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When Your Kid Asks About Scary News: The HEAR Script for Hard Questions
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
When Your Kid Asks About Scary News: The HEAR Script for Hard Questions Your kid overhears a scary headline, and later drops the question that hits you in the chest: “Why would someone do that… and are we safe?” In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude shares a simple, repeatable framework you can remember under stress: HEAR, so you’re not scrambling for the perfect words when your own brain goes blank. 3 to 5 key takeaways Your kid is usually asking a safety and regulation question, even if it sounds like a “why” question. Your nervous system sets the tone. The goal is not perfection,...
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Won’t vs Can’t: The 3 Clues That Change Everything (Especially with Strong-Willed Kids)
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
Won’t vs Can’t: The 3 Clues That Change Everything (Especially with Strong-Willed Kids) If you’re parenting a strong-willed kid, you’ve heard (or thought) some version of: “They just won’t.” But a lot of “won’t” moments are actually “can’t-in-that-format / can’t-in-this-moment”—and reading it wrong turns into pressure, consequences, and a fight that helps no one. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude gives you a simple, brain-based way to stop debating intent and start spotting the real barrier so you can respond with clarity (and keep expectations without turning...
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When Reading Isn’t Clicking: The K–2 Evaluation, Dyslexia Questions, and What to Ask Before Retention Comes Up
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
When Reading Isn’t Clicking: The K–2 Evaluation, Dyslexia Questions, and What to Ask Before Retention Comes Up That “Reading Support / Next Steps” email can make your stomach drop—fast. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude walks you through what a K–2 reading evaluation actually looks at (in normal human language), what “dyslexia questions” are most useful in early elementary, and what to ask for before retention becomes the whole plan. You’ll leave with clear questions, calm scripts, and a Monday-morning-ready way to keep the plan specific (not vague “more time”). In this...
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When Middle School Kids Say Scary Things: “Life Is Pointless,” “Intrusive Thoughts,” “I Want to Die” — A Calm, Clear Plan for Parents
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
When Middle School Kids Say Scary Things: “Life Is Pointless,” “Intrusive Thoughts,” “I Want to Die” — A Calm, Clear Plan for Parents Today’s episode is for parents of middle schoolers (roughly ages 11–14)—when your kid says big, scary things like “Life is pointless,” “I have intrusive thoughts about death,” or “I want to die,” and your nervous system immediately lights up. We’re building a calm plan that takes your kid seriously without catapulting you into spiraling or minimizing. Quick note: this episode is educational. If you’re worried about immediate...
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How to Get Kids Off Screens: Dopamine, Tablets, and the Battle for Balance
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
Episode 17: Screens, Dopamine, and the Battle for Balance (Elementary Edition) Episode summary If “screens off” turns your child into a tiny lawyer with raccoon-level regulation, you’re not alone. In this episode, Dr. Amy explains why tablets feel stickier than TV, what dopamine is actually doing in the brain, and how to build a predictable off-ramp so transitions don’t blow up your whole day. In this episode you’ll learn Why stopping screens is a stack of skills, not just “listening” Why tablets can be harder than TV (interactive, fast feedback, lots of control) What to expect...
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The Home–School Mismatch: Why Your Kid Falls Apart After School (and What to Do)
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
Episode 16: The Home–School Mismatch: Why Your Kid Falls Apart After School (and What to Do) Episode summary If your kid is “fine at school” and then falls apart at home, this episode will make the whole thing make sense. Dr. Amy explains why the home–school mismatch happens (no shame, no blame) and how to connect what you see at home with what school sees at school so you can stop guessing and start advocating clearly. In this episode you’ll learn Why “same kid, different math” is the key reframe when school and home look totally different How to spot the hidden supports at...
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After School Meltdowns: The Coke Bottle Kid
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
Episode 15: After School Meltdowns: The Coke Bottle Kid Episode summary If your child is “fine” at school and then absolutely falls apart at home—over homework, the wrong snack, or a sibling breathing—this episode is for you. Dr. Amy Patenaude explains after-school meltdowns with the Coke Bottle Kid metaphor: school is the shaking, home is where the cap comes off. You’ll get a simple stage map (shaken → fizzing → cap-tight → pop → recovery) plus a practical strategy to release pressure before things explode. In this episode you’ll learn Why after-school meltdowns are...
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What runDisney’s Dopey Challenge Taught Me About Raising Big-Feeling Kids (Boundaries, Pacing, and Repair)
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
Episode summary In this behind-the-curtain episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude shares what runDisney’s Dopey Challenge (four races in four days) taught her about endurance parenting—especially in the after-school hours when everyone’s bandwidth is gone. You’ll get a brain-based way to think about pacing, boundaries, Plan B moments, and repair—plus copy/paste school advocacy language and Tiny Wins you can try this week. In this episode you’ll learn How to shift from “fix it today” to an endurance question: “What makes later easier?” Why after-school meltdowns often mean “you hit a...
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AI Parenting Help Without the Rabbit Hole: Tiny Scripts for Big Feelings
Psyched2Parent: Turning Brain Science into Tiny Wins for Parents
Episode summary It’s 9:47pm, the kitchen is “less dangerous,” and then a totally normal school email sends your brain into full threat-detection mode. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude breaks down how to use AI tools like ChatGPT for parenting and school support without letting them fuel anxiety spirals, rewrite loops, or panic-research. You’ll get guardrails, a simple stop sign, and tiny scripts that help you sound like your regulated self, not your 10pm self. In this episode you’ll learn Why AI can be helpful and also a surprisingly efficient anxiety amplifier when you’re...
info_outlineEpisode 4: You Yelled. Now What? Repairing After You Lose It (in 90 seconds)
Episode Description
You snapped. You raised your voice. And now you’re stuck in the shame spiral wondering if you just messed everything up. In this episode, Dr. Amy Patenaude walks you through what actually matters after you yell: repair. You’ll learn what’s happening in your brain when you “flip your lid,” why repair is more powerful than perfection, and a 90-second reset you can use the same day. You’ll leave with simple scripts and Tiny Wins to rebuild connection without a big lecture for you or your child.
New here? Start with…
If you’re stuck in “I’m the worst parent” shame, start with Repair over Perfection
If you want practical words to say tonight, start with The 3-Sentence Repair
If you keep yelling at the end of the day, start with The Pause and Park It Plan
In this episode, you’ll learn
Why “losing it” is often a nervous system overload moment, not a character flaw
The simplest brain-based explanation for why yelling happens and why it’s hard to stop mid-stream
The rupture to repair idea that protects trust and emotional safety over time
What a repair actually looks like in real life without over-explaining or groveling
A repeatable 90-second repair script that builds safety and models accountability
How repair helps your child build a healthier story: We can have hard moments and still be okay
Tiny Wins (pick 1–2)
Try the 3-sentence repair once this week, even if it feels awkward
Choose a one-word cue for yourself when you feel the surge: Pause, Yellow light, or Not yet
Use Park It language once: I’m too heated to talk kindly. I’m going to cool down and we’ll come back.
Add one next time sentence after repair: Next time I’m going to step into the other room before I respond.
Scripts you can borrow (quick wins)
The basic repair (90 seconds): Hey, about earlier when I yelled… I was really overwhelmed and I raised my voice. That wasn’t okay. I’m sorry. I love you and we’re okay.
The check-in: Did that scare you or hurt your feelings? You can tell me the truth. I want to know.
The next-time plan: Next time I’m starting to feel that mad, I’m going to take a break instead of shouting.
One line for you: I messed up, and I’m also a good parent who’s learning.
Episode quotes
Kids don’t need perfection. They need a parent who comes back.
Repair is a deposit in the relationship bank account.
Flip your lid less when you can, and repair faster when you can’t.
Free resource
Join the Tiny Wins email list and download the free Big Feelings Decoder here: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder
Big Feelings Decoder helps you translate intense kid behavior like backtalk, shutdowns, whining, or meltdowns into what might be happening underneath, plus calm, nervous-system-friendly scripts you can use in the moment and after repair.
Disclaimer
This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for individualized mental health, medical, or educational advice.
Links
Big Feelings Decoder: https://psyched2parent.myflodesk.com/bigfeelingsdecoder
Instagram: @psyched2parent