Why You Keep Sabotaging Your Relationships (And How to Stop!) | Self-Sabotage & Love with Minh-Thu Lam
Release Date: 02/25/2025
Everything You’ve Been Told About Non-Monogamy is Wrong — Jim Fleckenstein Reveals Why
Sex & Bacon
What if the relationship model you’ve been taught your whole life… isn’t the only way to love? In this eye-opening and deeply educational episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with sexuality educator, researcher, and author Jim Fleckenstein for a no-BS conversation about polyamory, swinging, open relationships, and the many forms of consensual non-monogamy. With over 20 years in the field, Jim shares the research, real-life experiences, and hard truths that challenge everything you think you know about love, sex, and commitment. From breaking down the different types of...
info_outline
Healing Through BDSM: How Mistress Mia Uses Kink to Release Trauma & Reclaim Power
Sex & Bacon
What if the thing you’re most afraid of… is the very key to your healing? In this powerful, raw, and eye-opening episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with Mistress Mia Payne—owner of Pain With Purpose—for a deep dive into the healing side of BDSM. Together, they explore how kink can be a therapeutic tool for trauma recovery, emotional release, empowerment, and reconnecting with the body after pain. From confronting abuse triggers in a collar to understanding the difference between consensual pain and trauma reenactment, this conversation peels back the layers on what...
info_outline
Hot Mess, High Magic: Turning Chaos Into Confidence, Dating Power, and Dark Femme Energy with Michelle Burke
Sex & Bacon
What if your biggest heartbreaks, failures, and messy breakdowns weren’t the end of your story—but the beginning of your magic? In this bold, beautiful, and brutally honest episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with Michelle Burke—author of Hot Mess Magic—for a heart-opening conversation about owning your chaos, finding power in your pain, and learning how to rise without needing to be "put together" first. From losing her dad and grandma within weeks to screaming grief into the sand on a frozen Jersey beach, Michelle shares the raw truth behind what it means to...
info_outline
From Mormon Shame to Sex Magic: How Carolee & Britton Rebuilt Their Marriage
Sex & Bacon
What if everything you believed about love, sex, and marriage was built on shame—and it nearly destroyed you? In this raw, rebellious, and soul-awakening episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with Carolee and Britton—former devout Mormons turned sexual freedom seekers—for an unfiltered conversation about unlearning religious programming, healing from infidelity, and discovering the power of sex magic. They dive into how growing up Mormon created deep repression, guilt, and silence around sexuality—and how it all came to a head in their marriage through betrayal,...
info_outline
Dating Dicks & Red Flags: Why Smart Women Fall for the Wrong Men with Steph V
Sex & Bacon
What if every guy you dated turned out to be a walking red flag—disguised as Prince Charming? In this hilarious, unfiltered, and deeply relatable episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with Steph V—author and host of Dating Dicks—to unravel the art of dating emotionally unavailable men, how we ignore red flags on purpose, and why we sometimes mistake chaos for chemistry. Steph shares jaw-dropping stories (one involves being ditched at a party... for her own guest), outrageous moments of heartbreak, and the hard-won wisdom that comes from being a self-proclaimed “serial...
info_outline
I Was Married to a Sex Offender and Didn't Know Until He Was Arrested with Amanda Quick
Sex & Bacon
What if the person you trusted most turned out to be living a double life? In this gripping, raw, and deeply courageous episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with Amanda Quick—author of The Sex Trafficker’s Wife—to unravel the unthinkable: what happens when the man you married, the father of your children, is arrested for trying to purchase underage girls. Amanda shares her story with jaw-dropping honesty, walking us through the emotional rollercoaster of betrayal, trauma bonding, courtroom battles, and reclaiming her voice after years of manipulation and gaslighting. ...
info_outline
Why Women Crave Smut: The Truth About Erotic Romance & Female Pleasure | Ruan Willow
Sex & Bacon
Is reading smut mental cheating? Or is it the secret weapon to a more empowered, pleasure-filled life? In this juicy, no-holds-barred episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with erotica author and podcaster Ruan Willow to explore the world of erotic romance, female desire, and why stories that turn women on are about so much more than sex. From reclaiming "dirty" words to using fiction as foreplay, Ruan breaks down how smut, sensual stories, and sex-positive conversations can actually heal shame, unlock confidence, and transform relationships. Whether you're new to erotic lit or...
info_outline
Why Most Men Get Sex Wrong (And How to Fix It)
Sex & Bacon
Most men think they’ve got sex all figured out… but what if that confidence is exactly what’s keeping them from mind-blowing connection? In this candid and wildly eye-opening episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah is joined by Dallas Bluth, founder of Black Box Dating, to explore why so many men misunderstand what truly turns women on—and how they can flip the script for good. From porn culture and rushed foreplay to emotional unavailability and outdated masculinity myths, this convo dives into the core of male sexuality, desire, and how to create actual intimacy (that leads to...
info_outline
Too Much D*, Not Enough Depth: Dating, Threesomes & Celibacy Confessions
Sex & Bacon
In this episode of Sex & Bacon, I sit down with the always unfiltered Darby for a rollercoaster ride through dating disasters, sexual awakenings, and the spiritual side of swearing off men—temporarily. We talk throuples, field apps, hat-fishing, giant dicks (that miss the G-spot), and the kind of kissing that makes you question if you even like the person. And then—curveball—Sarah shares her very real journey of trying celibacy… for six months. Kind of. Maybe. We’ll check back in 30 days. Get ready for big laughs, bigger truths, and the kind of late-night convo you’d only have...
info_outline
Why Modern Dating Feels So Hard (And What Women Can Actually Do About It) | Shay Moore on Sex & Bacon
Sex & Bacon
In this episode of Sex & Bacon, I’m joined by the vibrant and soulfully wise Shay Moore—a licensed marriage and family therapist with a love for all things messy, magical, and real when it comes to relationships. Together, we dive deep into the labyrinth of modern love, friendships, dating dilemmas, and the wild ride of being a woman who’s trying to figure it all out without losing herself in the process. Shay brings raw honesty and therapeutic insight as we unpack the complexities of love, the importance of female friendships, and why your girlfriends really are your soulmates (even...
info_outlineIn this episode of Sex and Bacon, Sarah sits down with executive coach and self-sabotage expert Minh-Thu Lam from Higher Alignment Consulting to uncover the sneaky ways we sabotage our own happiness—especially in relationships.
From unspoken needs and toxic patterns to the role of the nervous system in love, this deep and raw conversation reveals why we keep making the same mistakes and, more importantly, how to break free.
🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:
đź’Ą Why We Self-Sabotage: Minh-Thu breaks down the subconscious patterns that keep us stuck, from childhood conditioning to societal programming.
🛑 Recognizing the Signs: Struggling with ghosting, repeating toxic relationship cycles, or pushing away healthy love? Here’s how to identify self-sabotage in action.
đź’ˇ Healing Through Awareness: Learn how to stop reacting from fear, regulate your nervous system, and start making intentional choices in love and life.
🔄 Dating with Clarity: Sarah and Minh-Thu discuss how to set boundaries, voice your needs, and stop expecting partners to be mind readers.
🌱 Growth Over Comfort: Unlearning unhealthy patterns is uncomfortable—but it’s the key to creating the deep, fulfilling relationships we actually want.
🔥 The Hard Truth: If you keep attracting the same type of partner, the common denominator is you—but that also means you have the power to change it.
We get into:
-
00:00 Welcome to the Sex and Bacon Podcast
-
02:11 The Root Cause of Burnout
-
03:43 Understanding Self-Sabotage
-
04:46 Self-Sabotage in Relationships
-
06:57 Childhood Conditioning and Relationship Dynamics
-
18:05 The Importance of Setting Boundaries
-
26:49 Recognizing Self-Sabotaging Patterns
-
34:52 Recognizing Old Patterns and Moving Forward
-
35:06 The Importance of Surrounding Yourself with Positive Influences
-
35:34 The Role of Coaches and Therapists
-
37:03 Choosing the Right Coach
-
38:01 Self-Sabotage and Its Reflection on Self-Worth
-
39:51 The Importance of Prioritizing Wellbeing in Relationships
-
43:35 Tools to Overcome Self-Sabotage
-
46:17 Regulating Your Nervous System
-
53:04 The Value of Open Communication in Relationships
-
59:26 Taking Control of Your Life and Seeking Help
Connect with Minh-Thu
-
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/higher-alignment-consulting/
-
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61555613204811
-
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/higheralignmentconsulting/
Connect with me
-
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic
-
Email us: [email protected]