Hot Mess, High Magic: Turning Chaos Into Confidence, Dating Power, and Dark Femme Energy with Michelle Burke

What if your biggest heartbreaks, failures, and messy breakdowns weren’t the end of your story—but the beginning of your magic?

In this bold, beautiful, and brutally honest episode of the Sex and Bacon podcast, Sarah sits down with Michelle Burke—author of Hot Mess Magic—for a heart-opening conversation about owning your chaos, finding power in your pain, and learning how to rise without needing to be "put together" first.

From losing her dad and grandma within weeks to screaming grief into the sand on a frozen Jersey beach, Michelle shares the raw truth behind what it means to discover the magic in your mess. They explore what “dark feminine energy” really looks like (spoiler: it’s not about manipulation—it’s about unapologetic power), why emotional availability in dating starts with self-honesty, and how sitting in discomfort is the only way to truly heal.

If you've ever felt like a disaster in lipstick—or worried you’re too broken to find love, success, or peace—this one’s your reminder that messy doesn’t mean unworthy. It means you’re mid-alchemy.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

• What “dark feminine energy” really means—and how to embody it with confidence

• Why your mess might be your greatest teacher (and how to reframe your pain)

• The truth about emotional unavailability—his, and yours

• Releasing rage and grief through physical movement, not emotional bypassing

• How to date with power—even if your life feels like a chaotic dumpster fire

• The magic of mirror work, solo dates, and becoming the love you seek

• Setting boundaries, letting go of friendships, and outgrowing your old self

• Why vulnerability is the portal to deeper connection, healing, and community

🎧 Hit play if you're tired of pretending you're fine, and ready to feel powerful because of your mess—not in spite of it.

#SexAndBacon #HotMessMagic #DarkFeminineEnergy #HealingEra #FeelYourFeelings #SelfWorthJourney #DatingWhileHealing #EmotionalAvailability #ReclaimYourPower #MessyHealing #UnfilteredFeminine #PersonalAlchemy

We get into: 

• 00:00 Intro

• 01:02 What is “dark feminine energy,” really?

• 02:25 Why women put others first—and how to stop

• 03:56 The birth of Hot Mess Magic and the story behind the book

• 07:13 Finding magic during grief, chaos, and emotional breakdowns

• 09:04 “Show me the truth”—the mantra that changed everything

• 10:56 Don’t bypass the pain: feel it, but don’t become it

• 12:00 Rage, grief, and kickboxing as therapy

• 14:52 What emotionally unavailable actually looks like in men (and women)

• 17:32 Dating during a hot mess—what to do, what not to

• 18:56 Becoming the love you want: solo dates, mirror notes, and self-devotion

• 21:34 Letting go of people you’ve outgrown—and the guilt that comes with it

• 24:26 You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with

• 25:42 Learning to receive instead of chasing in relationships

• 26:55 The art of not settling—and how to hold your standards

• 28:44 What kind of man are you actually calling in?

• 29:51 The masks we wear—and how isolation keeps us stuck

• 31:00 Releasing shame around money, failure, and public messiness

• 33:02 The power of safe community, storytelling, and permission

• 34:44 Final thoughts: give yourself permission to want more—and go for it

Connect with Michelle

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michelleaburke 

• Links: https://beacons.ai/michelleaburke

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ownyourerotic 

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sexandbacon1065 

• Email us: [email protected]