089: Mastering Leadership Communication with Shelly Starks

In this episode of Evolve: A New Era of Leadership, I’m joined by Shelly Starks, CEO of Inline Consulting Services and a seasoned business advisor with over 20 years of coaching experience. Together, they explore the profound impact of communication on leadership and dive into the powerful Identity Role Theory that Shelly uses to help her clients unlock new levels of personal and professional growth.

Shelly emphasizes the critical importance of effective communication in leadership, highlighting how mindful and intentional communication can break down defensive barriers and raise emotional intelligence. She explains how many leaders operate on autopilot, particularly in communication, and how this can harm both their effectiveness and relationships. Shelly also introduces Identity Role Theory, a framework that helps individuals understand how their core identity is intertwined with the various roles they play in life.

🔑 Key Themes & Takeaways:

• The Power of Communication: Shelly underscores the importance of moving beyond autopilot in leadership communication, tailoring messages to the behavioral styles of others to foster trust and openness. 🔄
  
  

• Identity Role Theory: Shelly explains how our identity and roles influence each other. Starting with the idea that we enter the world as a “10” in terms of self-worth, the theory explores how life experiences in different roles (e.g., parent, employee) can diminish our sense of identity and impact all aspects of our life. 📖
  
  

• Mindful Communication: Shelly introduces the Extended DISC tool, which helps leaders understand their behavioral style and how they may be “extending” themselves into other styles to be effective. This misalignment can cause burnout, stress, and inauthenticity, affecting both personal and professional life. 🧠
  
  

• Nurturing Identity: Shelly stresses the importance of spending time with oneself to nurture and protect one’s core identity. She emphasizes that leaders must be intentional about separating their identity from the roles they play in order to show up as their best selves in every role. 🌟
  
  

• The Three-Legged Stool of Leadership: Shelly introduces her coaching concept, which involves focusing on the client-facing side, the business’s bottom line, and the internal team. Neglecting any of these legs can lead to instability in the entire organization. 🪑

We talk about:

• 00:00 Intro

• 05:54 The Impact of Identity on Roles

• 10:36 Practical Applications of Identity Role Theory

• 16:23 Nurturing Your Identity

• 19:46 The Power of Team Coaching

• 20:33 Understanding Identity Beyond Roles

• 22:15 Impact of Burnout on Roles and Identity

• 24:39 Practical Applications and Client Experiences

• 31:37 Advice for Leaders and Final Thoughts

#LeadershipCommunication #IdentityRoleTheory #MindfulLeadership #ExtendedDISC #EvolvePodcast

Connect with Shelly

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelly-starks/ 

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/shellystarks/ 

• Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ShellyStarksICS 

• www.shellystarks.com 

Connect with me

• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolynswora/

• YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/

• LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carolynswora/

• Website: https://www.carolynswora.com/

• Contact: [email protected]