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The Narcissist’s Playbook: Chelli's Strategies for Overcoming Narcissistic Patterns

Release Date: 11/13/2024

Rebuilding Self-Worth After Emotional Abuse with Dr. Jill Rosenthal

That's Where I'm At

In this episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura and guest Dr. Jill Rosenthal, an award-winning Harvard and Stanford educated physician who retired after a 35+ year career and became certified as a wellness and mindset coach, share their personal journeys through trauma, loss, and healing. Dr. Rosenthal’s extensive experience and training, coupled with her own transformation from a stressed, overworked, unhealthy physician, wife, and mother into a happy, healthy, thriving coach, make her uniquely equipped to help others release unconscious thoughts, emotions, and behaviors that hold them...

Navigating Love After Trauma: Tips for Building Healthy Connections With Dawn Bennett

That's Where I'm At

What are Two Things you could do to improve your relationships? Perhaps you’ve heard the way you do one thing is the way you do everything. You see, your mind doesn’t know the difference between past, present, and future. Changing how you think and feel about emotionally stressful times in your life can shift everything! Dawn works to help people find and maintain their ideal relationships. Dawn has Board Designations for Hypnosis & NLP Training & Coaching. She also is an Accredited Certified EFT Practitioner and EFT Relationship and Intimacy Coach. In this episode of "That's...

From Attempted Murder to Life Transformation: J Lumen's Journey from Surviving to Thriving

That's Where I'm At

In this powerful episode of "That's Where I'm At," host Laura sits down with J Lumen, a certified Life Transformation and Empowerment Coach who knows firsthand what it means to feel completely trapped in life. J's story takes a shocking turn when what started as feeling stuck in the wrong relationship and wrong job escalated to a terrifying night that ended with her ex-boyfriend's arrest for attempted murder—her attempted murder. This life-altering experience became the catalyst for J to stop tolerating her life and start truly living it. Through her "Unknown Bucket List Approach," J teaches...

From Lost to Thriving

That's Where I'm At

Welcome back to That’s Where I’m At! In the last two episodes, we talked about healing after narcissistic abuse, rebuilding trust in yourself, and setting boundaries. Today, we’re going even deeper as we focus on reclaiming your identity, learning to dream again, and moving from surviving to truly thriving. If you’ve been feeling stuck, wondering who you are now, or questioning if you even deserve a joyful future, this episode is for you. Laura breaks down three essential healing truths:💥 You are not meant to go back to who you were before the abuse—you are...

It's Never Too Late: Finding Your Voice with Lori Daneke

That's Where I'm At

In this inspiring episode of "That's Where I'm At" podcast, host Laura welcomes Lori Daneke, a communication and relationship coach who discovered her calling later in life. Lori shares her powerful journey from being a people-pleaser trapped in a silent, emotionally abusive marriage to becoming an empowered coach helping others find their authentic selves. What started as a quest to improve her golf game led to a complete life transformation at age 58. Through candid conversation, Lori explains how 90% of our thoughts aren't our own, stemming from our imprint years (ages 0-7), and how...

Rebuilding Self-Worth, Knowing Your Values & Setting Boundaries

That's Where I'm At

In today’s episode, Laura explores the important topics of self-worth, core values, and boundaries—three crucial elements of your healing journey after leaving a toxic relationship. If you're feeling stuck or questioning why you don’t feel "better" yet, this episode is for you. Laura breaks down three essential healing truths:💥 Healing doesn’t happen overnight—leaving the relationship is only the first step.💥 Rebuilding your self-worth is a process that takes time and practice.💥 Setting boundaries is an act of self-love, and it’s essential for protecting your peace. Expect...

Finding Freedom: Healing the Hurt Beneath Emotional Eating with Claudia Braun

That's Where I'm At

In this powerful episode host Laura welcomes Claudia Braun, a holistic mindset and lifestyle coach certified in Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). Claudia opens up about her personal journey with emotional eating that began at age 10 when she discovered food could temporarily ease emotional pain. She shares how this coping mechanism followed her through adolescence, college, and into adulthood, creating a vicious cycle of stress eating and dieting. The conversation explores how our relationship with food often masks deeper emotional needs and how the cultural messaging around dieting affects...

Is He a Narcissist? Trusting Yourself & Owning Your Journey

That's Where I'm At

In this deeply validating episode, Laura explores the questions so many women wrestle with: Was he really a narcissist? Can I trust myself again? Why am I not further along? If you’ve been stuck in cycles of self-doubt or healing shame, you’re not alone—and this episode is here to bring clarity, comfort, and real guidance. Laura breaks down three essential healing truths: 💥 How to identify narcissistic behavior—without needing a diagnosis 💥 What rebuilding self-trust looks like after emotional abuse 💥 Why owning your current stage of healing is more than enough...

Finding Your Authentic Self After Narcissistic Abuse with Angie Marie

That's Where I'm At

In this powerful episode of That's Where I'm At, Laura welcomes Angie Marie, a lifestyle and health coach who spent 20 years in a narcissistic relationship. Together, they explore the insidious nature of covert and overt narcissism, the devastating impact of gaslighting, and the complex emotions that surface when leaving these relationships. Angie shares her journey of reclaiming her authentic self after years of people-pleasing and self-abandonment, discovering that true health encompasses both physical and emotional well-being. This raw conversation offers validation, hope, and practical...

Are You Ready to Unsubscribe from What No Longer Serves You? With Barbara Siemen

That's Where I'm At

Barbara Siemen is a certified life coach, yoga instructor, and writer who helps others find their path to joy and fulfilled living. After a failed business endeavor and subsequent mental illness diagnosis in 2016 caused her to go into a major slump, Barbara questioned her life’s purpose. She devoted her time to unlearning what was holding her back and undoing the pain of her childhood trauma. It took over 5 years for her to follow the breadcrumbs but with the help of coaches, therapists, self-help books, spiritual tools, and her own intuition, she is now proud to be unsubscribed from all the...

More Episodes

Navigating the treacherous waters of narcissistic relationships can be a particularly daunting and emotionally draining experience for women. Many find themselves trapped in a cycle of manipulation, self-doubt, and emotional turmoil, often sacrificing their own needs and identities to appease their narcissistic partners. However, there is hope for breaking free from these destructive patterns and reclaiming one's self-worth. By understanding the narcissist's playbook, female survivors can arm themselves with the knowledge and tools necessary to heal, grow, and ultimately thrive beyond the shadow of narcissistic abuse.

In today's episode of the That's Where I'm At Podcast, Laura Richards is joined by Chelli Pumphrey, a Licensed Professional Counselor with 30 years of clinical experience specializing in trauma and recovery from narcissistic abuse. The discussion explores the complexities of narcissistic relationships, offering valuable insights on recognizing patterns, breaking cycles, and healing from trauma. Chelli delves into various aspects of narcissism, including its origins, common survivor experiences, and effective strategies for overcoming narcissistic patterns. She emphasizes the importance of journaling, understanding attachment styles, and engaging in trauma therapy.

Chelli Pumphrey is a Licensed Professional Counselor with 30 years of clinical experience specializing in trauma, adult attachment, and recovery from narcissistic and psychopathic abuse. Chelli is the author of "Insight is 20/20: How To Trust Yourself To Protect Yourself From Narcissistic Abuse & Toxic Relationships" and offers a holistic, mind-body-spirit approach to therapy.

As a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Therapist and Certified Clinical Trauma Professional, Chelli brings a wealth of knowledge and expertise to help survivors recognize and overcome narcissistic behaviors. Her unique blend of traditional and integrative therapies, including EMDR, psychospiritual growth, Reiki, and ketamine-assisted therapies, provides a comprehensive toolkit for healing and personal growth.

Tune in to learn more about effective strategies for recognizing and overcoming narcissistic behaviors, empowering women to establish healthier boundaries, and cultivating fulfilling relationships that honor their authentic selves.

Timestamps

[02:53] Are we more diagnosing or being more aware of narcissism?

[07:58] How Chelli got into being a trauma professional

[13:07] How your brain gets trained

[17:41] Common things survivors say about narcissists

[19:45] The origin of narcissism

[24:32] Journaling narcissists’ patterns

[27:31] How to break narcissist patterns

[33:20] Attachment styles

[35:37] Therapy and narcissism

[41:48] Things you will benefit from working on yourself

[42:56] Chelli’s thoughts on PTSD

[45:27] Trauma therapy training

Notable Quotes

“1% of the United States population is diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder.”
“If you think there is an issue, you just need strategy.”
“It’s important to talk to a therapist or do other kinds of holistic therapy as well.”
“Do not go start dating when you are in the middle of a separation.”
“You must work on healing trauma with trauma therapy.”

RESOURCES:

MARRIED TO A “NICE” GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE

PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy

FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

RESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources

FOLLOW CHELLI: https://www.chellipumphrey.com

BOOK: https://www.amazon.com/Insight-20-Yourself-Narcissistic-Relationships/dp/B0B27PTQ5S/https:/www.facebook.com/chellipumphreytherapy

https://www.instagram.com/chellipumphrey

https://www.linkedin.com/in/chellipumphrey

C (COMPLEX)-PTSD DEFINITION: https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/24881-cptsd-complex-ptsd

DOG WHISTLING DEFINITION: https://katiecouric.com/lifestyle/relationships/what-is-a-dog-whistle-narcissistic-abuse/#:~:text=Dog%20whistles%20are%20also%20used,person%20they%20wish%20to%20devalue.