Life After Discard: Identifying the Subtle Traits of a Covert Narcissist with Lauren Wickline

Covert narcissists exhibit subtle signs of narcissism, often masked by a facade of humility. They possess an inflated sense of self-importance yet express it through passive-aggressive behavior and subtle manipulation. Hypersensitive to criticism, they may respond with intense emotions or withdrawal. Their relationships are typically superficial, characterized by emotional withholding, gaslighting, and blame-shifting. Covert narcissists struggle with chronic envy and often play the victim to gain sympathy. They lack genuine empathy and have difficulty forming deep connections. In romantic relationships, they may display jealousy and possessiveness and use tactics like stonewalling or guilt-tripping. Their behavior can significantly impact the mental health of those around them, leading to increased stress, anxiety, and depression in partners and family members.

In today's episode of the That's Where I'm At Podcast, Laura Richards welcomes Lauren Wickline, a licensed mental health therapist and podcaster. Lauren shares her personal journey into podcasting and discusses her experiences with covert narcissism. The conversation delves into the traits of covert narcissists, exploring Lauren's own experience of being discarded in public. Lauren reflects on her healing process, addressing whether she's still grieving and if she would have stayed in the relationship had she not been discarded. Lauren sheds more light on the inability of narcissists to be alone, healing from trauma bonds, and practical ways to recover from narcissistic relationships. Throughout the episode, Lauren offers insights on getting back to oneself after such experiences, providing valuable advice for women navigating similar situations.

Lauren is a licensed mental health therapist in the state of Virginia. She has been practicing in a variety of settings since 2017 to include public schools, acute inpatient hospitals, and outpatient. She has always been passionate about the performing arts to include, singing, theater, and Irish dance. She is passionate about implementing these experiences to include expressive arts, metaphor, and storytelling in all settings as a form of healing. In April of 2023 Lauren experienced a discard from someone she thought was the love of her life. While she began her spiritual/healing journey, Lauren had some professional as well as personal revelations which has motivated her to tell this story in order to help others. She discovered a concept that was first coined in the 1980s by Dr. Dan Kiley called Peter Pan and Wendy’s Syndrome. While these aren’t official terms and diagnoses in the DSM-V, she couldn’t help but find that these pop culture psychology terms are very relevant in today’s society. She hopes to use her story to help and educate others about the damages caused by emotionally unavailable, narcissistic, people. She also hopes to also share information on ways to move past the “Wendy’s Syndrome” which includes anxious attachment, people pleasing, and codependent tendencies. As a recovering people pleaser herself, Lauren hopes that her podcast, Life After Discard, will help others see their worth and bring to light ways to avoid being caught in a Peter Pan and Wendy Syndrome dynamic in their relationships. 

Tune in to gain empowering strategies for recognizing covert narcissism, rebuilding self-esteem, and fostering healthier relationships, as well as practical tools for healing and reclaiming your identity after narcissistic abuse.

Timestamps

[02:22] How Lauren got into podcasting

[06:00] Is Lauren still grieving?

[08:07] Traits of a covert narcissist

[10:53] How Lauren was discarded in public

[14:00] How Laura was reverse discarded by her ex-husband

[22:04] Would Lauren have stayed if she had not been discarded?

[28:30] Narcissists cannot be alone for long

[34:39] How to heal from a trauma bond

[38:05] Ways to help heal from a narcissistic relationship

[43:38] Getting back to yourself

Notable Quotes

• “A narcissist is someone who has a high need for control and a lack of empathy.”
• “They are attracted to those people pleasers, the people who are givers, but you have to remember that takers will take.”
• “When you are so manipulated, you allow almost anything.”
• “When you have that revelation, there is no going back.”
• “Not everybody is going to like the healed version of you, and not everybody deserves the healed version of you.”

 

RESOURCES:

MARRIED TO A “NICE” GUY: GETTING OVER NARCISSISTIC ABUSE: SHOP HERE

PRIVATE FACEBOOK SUPPORT GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/marriedtoaniceguy

FOLLOW THE PODCAST: http://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com

BOOKS & JOURNALS: https://www.amazon.com/author/laurarichards

RESOURCES FOR YOUR HEALING: https://www.thatswhereimatpodcast.com/resources

 

FOLLOW LAUREN:

WEBSITE: https://laurenwicktherapist.blogspot.com

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/lauren_wickywicky

PODCAST: Life After Discard, available on Spotify, Amazon, Apple, and iHeart https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/lauren-w7

SURVIVING PETER PAN BLOG: https://laurenwicktherapist.blogspot.com