7lb Lobsters
We take the tank down from a blistering boil to a soulful simmer as the Brothers Lobster contemplate the historical moment we’re living through. You know, the one where we’ve all gone insane in a profoundly antisocial way and no one is coming to save us. Unless, of course, we finally pull the trigger and implement the Biden Instrumentation Project. Do you want to become one with Joe Biden? To be of one mind and Biden and soul? It’s something that feels really good. Come on, man. Relax and release your soul to Biden, Jack! Our ice cream cones will meld...
info_outline Episode 3669: Eternal Fetish of the Shameless Mind7lb Lobsters
In our first installment for 2024, we return to the tank to take a look at everything that’s been plaguing our weak and stupid nation as of late: the pirate crisis at the border, the reduction of Rogue’s once robust cake in the new X-Men series, the proliferation of A.I. across all of our beloved forms of media, the ruinous effect the internet has on the brains of boomers everywhere, and finally, the worst important election of our lifetimes. It’s a new year filled with unspeakable horrors ahead, but Connor, Mike and Ray will be here to ride it out with you. This tank takes no...
info_outline Episode #3669: Now I Am Become Bob Iger, Destroyer of Worlds7lb Lobsters
Take a break from all of the nationwide record-breaking heatwaves and come cool off with the boys in the tank for a breakdown of this summer’s biggest bombs, biggest Barbies, and biggest blockbuster budgets! ALSO: Can any one of the increasing amount of challenges we have to face be overcome or are we all just too tired? Find out right motherfucking now on this veritable futurelessness-arama of an episode of 7-motherfucking-lb Lobsters, motherfucker!
info_outline Episode 3668: NBA Championship Odds & Predictions7lb Lobsters
This month’s episode is all about basketball as we head into Game One of the NBA Finals. And you know what? It’s another banger. Better butter up these lobsters because they’re on a roll.
info_outline Episode 3667: Gays In Disgust7lb Lobsters
The boys are back in the tank to settle the raging debate that’s so thoroughly gripped our fragile nation: Is the new Super Mario Bros. movie woke – or not? Surprises are in store as old questions get new answers, old answers raise new questions, and no new answer goes oldly unquestioned in our most important and topical and timely and urgent and contemporary and important and relevant and important episode to date! It’s a Super Mario Bros. super show, and it’s all happening right here, right now, on 7 fucking lb fucking Lobsters!
info_outline Episode 3666: First Wives Guys Club7lb Lobsters
This episode is our Black Panther.
info_outline Episode 3665: We’re Back!7lb Lobsters
Welcome back, Claw Nation! We have finally returned from our first ever break in the show’s eleven year history at the direct orders of the CDC! A new year is upon us, but a lot of things still feel the same. The Matrix is back, Sex and the City is back, and even COVID is back in a big and exciting way. But this is a time where children are having conversations with Siris, zoomers aren’t going outside, and everyone seems to have forgotten the awesome yet undervalued power of Kid Vid. However, our tank still stands tall and sturdy, and the lobster crew is still here to help you navigate the...
info_outline EPISODE 3664: Ted Talks7lb Lobsters
It would appear that the scientific fact of planets revolving around the sun in elliptical orbits has finally come back to haunt us. That opening sentence will either make more or less sense when you listen to the episode. The big takeaway is we’re all just going around in circles until we die, and frankly, it’s starting to get to us. At the very least, we’ll have some fantastic entertainment on our cyclical path to imminent demise. And the more zonked out we can get on alcohol, adderall, or saturated fats, the more we can enjoy films like The Matrix 4, or Ted 3, the second of which we...
info_outline EPISODE #3663: Deus Ex Bigalow: Male Gigolobot7lb Lobsters
America is more of a developing nation than a developed nation at this point, but hey, at least we’re getting out of Afghanistan and back into horse semen, or whatever it is the boomers are injecting into themselves instead of the COVID vaccine. And by the way, it would have been nice to have been compensated for injecting the COVID vaccine into ourselves for all of us who already did it, especially when we could have been injecting more harmful stuff like horse semen instead. But we can’t be too bitter when we still have America’s only developed podcast, and you won’t be too bitter...
info_outline EPISODE #3662: Space Jam World: A Nightmare7lb Lobsters
COVID is back on the rise, Congress can’t agree on anything, and our beautiful billionaires are jetting off to space with beautiful boys. But let’s not let any of those things distract us from why we’re all here: the long-awaited Space Jam: A New Legacy just dropped in theaters (and on HBO Max, watch it now on HBO Max) this weekend. Of course, we all saw it in advance and we’re gonna give you the full rundown of our exclusive Warner Bros. Galaxy Premiere experience, as well as our thoughts on the film itself. This is the one you’ve been waiting for, and no, you won’t listen to a...
info_outlineLike most major earth-shaking events since 2011 or so, we find out right away that Ray was directly behind Reddit’s pumpin’ and dumpin’ of GameStop shares and hedge fund scares, another pace-setting game-changer in an infinite list of 7lb Lobster pace-setting game-changers. Buy low, get high, and don’t watch Tenet - the Chris Nolan time travel joint that Ray’s still mad at Connor for making us watch, and probably forever will be, in the past as in the future, amen. The boys take up a lot of time unloading on Tenet for taking up a lot of time, concerning itself with how the future can affect the past and vice versa, all the while ignoring how miserable it makes you in the present. Not entirely unlike congress, whose legislation to raise the minimum wage to $15 per hour in 2025 should have been passed in 2010 so that we could have had a less miserable present in 2021 but like The Shins said in 2001 this is an Oh, Inverted World, and it sucked then, it sucks now, and will continue to suck in the future, just like Tenet. But at least we have the lobsters to lighten the load.
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