Episode 3670: The Schneider Cut
7lb Lobsters
We take the tank down from a blistering boil to a soulful simmer as the Brothers Lobster contemplate the historical moment we’re living through. You know, the one where we’ve all gone insane in a profoundly antisocial way and no one is coming to save us. Unless, of course, we finally pull the trigger and implement the Biden Instrumentation Project. Do you want to become one with Joe Biden? To be of one mind and Biden and soul? It’s something that feels really good. Come on, man. Relax and release your soul to Biden, Jack! Our ice cream cones will meld...
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Episode 3669: Eternal Fetish of the Shameless Mind
7lb Lobsters
In our first installment for 2024, we return to the tank to take a look at everything that’s been plaguing our weak and stupid nation as of late: the pirate crisis at the border, the reduction of Rogue’s once robust cake in the new X-Men series, the proliferation of A.I. across all of our beloved forms of media, the ruinous effect the internet has on the brains of boomers everywhere, and finally, the worst important election of our lifetimes. It’s a new year filled with unspeakable horrors ahead, but Connor, Mike and Ray will be here to ride it out with you. This tank takes no...
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Episode #3669: Now I Am Become Bob Iger, Destroyer of Worlds
7lb Lobsters
Take a break from all of the nationwide record-breaking heatwaves and come cool off with the boys in the tank for a breakdown of this summer’s biggest bombs, biggest Barbies, and biggest blockbuster budgets! ALSO: Can any one of the increasing amount of challenges we have to face be overcome or are we all just too tired? Find out right motherfucking now on this veritable futurelessness-arama of an episode of 7-motherfucking-lb Lobsters, motherfucker!
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Episode 3668: NBA Championship Odds & Predictions
7lb Lobsters
This month’s episode is all about basketball as we head into Game One of the NBA Finals. And you know what? It’s another banger. Better butter up these lobsters because they’re on a roll.
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Episode 3667: Gays In Disgust
7lb Lobsters
The boys are back in the tank to settle the raging debate that’s so thoroughly gripped our fragile nation: Is the new Super Mario Bros. movie woke – or not? Surprises are in store as old questions get new answers, old answers raise new questions, and no new answer goes oldly unquestioned in our most important and topical and timely and urgent and contemporary and important and relevant and important episode to date! It’s a Super Mario Bros. super show, and it’s all happening right here, right now, on 7 fucking lb fucking Lobsters!
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Episode 3666: First Wives Guys Club
7lb Lobsters
This episode is our Black Panther.
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Episode 3665: We’re Back!
7lb Lobsters
Welcome back, Claw Nation! We have finally returned from our first ever break in the show’s eleven year history at the direct orders of the CDC! A new year is upon us, but a lot of things still feel the same. The Matrix is back, Sex and the City is back, and even COVID is back in a big and exciting way. But this is a time where children are having conversations with Siris, zoomers aren’t going outside, and everyone seems to have forgotten the awesome yet undervalued power of Kid Vid. However, our tank still stands tall and sturdy, and the lobster crew is still here to help you navigate the...
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EPISODE 3664: Ted Talks
7lb Lobsters
It would appear that the scientific fact of planets revolving around the sun in elliptical orbits has finally come back to haunt us. That opening sentence will either make more or less sense when you listen to the episode. The big takeaway is we’re all just going around in circles until we die, and frankly, it’s starting to get to us. At the very least, we’ll have some fantastic entertainment on our cyclical path to imminent demise. And the more zonked out we can get on alcohol, adderall, or saturated fats, the more we can enjoy films like The Matrix 4, or Ted 3, the second of which we...
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EPISODE #3663: Deus Ex Bigalow: Male Gigolobot
7lb Lobsters
America is more of a developing nation than a developed nation at this point, but hey, at least we’re getting out of Afghanistan and back into horse semen, or whatever it is the boomers are injecting into themselves instead of the COVID vaccine. And by the way, it would have been nice to have been compensated for injecting the COVID vaccine into ourselves for all of us who already did it, especially when we could have been injecting more harmful stuff like horse semen instead. But we can’t be too bitter when we still have America’s only developed podcast, and you won’t be too bitter...
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EPISODE #3662: Space Jam World: A Nightmare
7lb Lobsters
COVID is back on the rise, Congress can’t agree on anything, and our beautiful billionaires are jetting off to space with beautiful boys. But let’s not let any of those things distract us from why we’re all here: the long-awaited Space Jam: A New Legacy just dropped in theaters (and on HBO Max, watch it now on HBO Max) this weekend. Of course, we all saw it in advance and we’re gonna give you the full rundown of our exclusive Warner Bros. Galaxy Premiere experience, as well as our thoughts on the film itself. This is the one you’ve been waiting for, and no, you won’t listen to a...
info_outlineIn our first installment for 2024, we return to the tank to take a look at everything that’s been plaguing our weak and stupid nation as of late: the pirate crisis at the border, the reduction of Rogue’s once robust cake in the new X-Men series, the proliferation of A.I. across all of our beloved forms of media, the ruinous effect the internet has on the brains of boomers everywhere, and finally, the worst important election of our lifetimes.
It’s a new year filled with unspeakable horrors ahead, but Connor, Mike and Ray will be here to ride it out with you. This tank takes no prisoners. In fact, it forcibly ejects them whenever they’re supposed to be on trial for any one of their 98 indictments.
SIDENOTE: We did not get around to talking about sports in this episode, but we will in the next one.