Navigating Imposter Syndrome: From Self-Doubt to Self-Belief

 

Navigating Emotional and Psychological Barriers with Juanita Tookes

In this week's University of Michigan's Victors in Grad School podcast, host Dr. Christopher Lewis has Dr. Juanita Tookes, Assistant Director of CAPS, discuss the often-ignored but highly prevalent issue of imposter syndrome. Together, they uncover the intricacies of this phenomenon and explore effective strategies for overcoming it.

Understanding Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome affects a staggering 70% of individuals at some point in their lives, manifesting as a persistent feeling of being a fraud despite clear evidence of one’s achievements. Dr. Lewis underscores its ubiquity among graduate students and professionals, emphasizing how these feelings can lead to self-doubt, harsh self-critique, and even self-sabotage.

Juanita Tookes explains that societal stereotypes, particularly those related to family dynamics and cultural expectations, can exacerbate feelings of inadequacy. She highlights how marginalized groups, especially those with intersectional identities, often feel the added pressure of proving themselves in professional and academic spaces.

Recognizing Different Types of Imposters

Understanding the different manifestations of imposter syndrome is crucial for developing tailored coping mechanisms. Tookes categorizes imposters into five types:

• Natural Genius:

  Believes that their knowledge is never sufficient, resulting in an endless quest for more information.

• Perfectionist:

  Feels that their work is never flawless, leading to constant stress and anxiety.

• Expert:

  Constantly strives to prove their expertise, fearing being perceived as unknowledgeable.

• Super Person:

  Avoids asking for help to maintain an image of self-sufficiency.

• Soloist:

  Prefers to work alone to hide any perceived inadequacies.

Combatting Imposter Syndrome

To combat imposter syndrome, Juanita Tookes offers several practical strategies. One key method is to reframe thinking patterns, shifting negative self-talk toward positive beliefs and actions. Embracing positive feedback and focusing on personal achievements, no matter the size, can significantly boost self-esteem.

Reframing Perceptions: From Fear to Excitement

A crucial insight shared involves the body’s inability to differentiate between fear and excitement. According to Tookes, recognizing this can help individuals cognitively reframe their experiences and interpret them positively. This perspective shift can prevent fear from dominating their mindset.

Avoiding Comparisons

A pervasive issue exacerbated by social media is the tendency to compare oneself to others. Both the host and guest stress the importance of staying focused on one’s unique path and capabilities, as comparison often leads to a distorted view of self-worth.

Embracing Self-Compassion and Growth

Self-compassion is essential when dealing with imposter syndrome. Tookes emphasizes the importance of acknowledging personal efforts and progress. She encourages listeners to confront their inner critic and take pride in doing their best, rather than succumbing to self-criticism.

The Value of Mistakes in Learning

Mistakes are an inevitable part of growth and should be viewed as valuable learning opportunities. Tookes advises individuals to adopt a growth mindset, where challenges are seen as stepping stones rather than obstacles.

Final Thoughts

Overcoming imposter syndrome requires a multi-faceted approach, combining self-compassion, positive self-affirmation, and a growth mindset. By reframing perceptions and celebrating personal achievements, individuals can navigate the emotional and psychological challenges associated with imposter syndrome and embrace their true potential.

For more insights and practical advice, tune into the full episode of Victors in Grad School where Juanita Tookes offers invaluable guidance on facing and overcoming imposter syndrome.

TRANSCRIPT

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:01]:
Welcome to the victors in grad school, where we have conversations with students, alumni, and experts about what it takes to find success in graduate school.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:00:11]:
Hello, everyone. Thanks so much for being here today. I'm doctor Lewis, director of Michigan Flint. And I want to say thank you for coming today to learn about this important topic, imposter syndrome. So many times I talk to students, whether they're in their first term or they're in later terms, you know, imposter syndrome always creeps in and it's definitely something that as graduate students that we always feel at least once in our graduate school experience. When we're learning new things, when we're asked to put our skills to the test, no matter what it is, there's always that little whisper in our ear that tends to hit us. I mean, and and that doesn't stop in grad school. I hate to say it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:00]:
It doesn't stop. It it continues on as you get into your professional lives and do it and such, but there are things that you can do to mitigate that and help with that. And today, Juanita Tooks is with us today. And Juanita is our Assistant Director of CAPS. And I've had the great opportunity to be able to have her on doing some different presentations in the past. And she's great. You're gonna love hearing from her today. But I'm really excited to have her here to talk to you about this important topic.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:01:26]:
And I'm gonna turn it over to her. Juanita, thanks so much for being here today.

Juanita Tookes [00:01:29]:
Thank you so much for having me. Let's get into talking about imposter syndrome because that's something that everybody experiences. And I was reading some research about, I think about there was a research study, in which 70% of the population of that study had said and reported that they had experienced or were experiencing imposter syndrome. 70% is a large number. So it just goes to show that this is something that's common. It's not permanent. And we're gonna talk about what it is and how to navigate it. It's before you can have any solutions to anything, you have to understand the problem.

Juanita Tookes [00:02:05]:
You have to understand the nature. You have to understand the origin. But we can't be stuck there. Once we have an understanding of what's going on, that's when we can better identify how we can navigate with solutions. So let's get into talking about imposter syndrome and what that involves. So what is it? So imposter syndrome is a psychological experience. So it's feeling like you are a fraud. And I want to really highlight the fact that it's a psychological experience because it means that there's a lot of different things, lot of different thoughts and perceptions going on in your mind about your own abilities, your own capabilities, maybe what other people think of you.

Juanita Tookes [00:02:44]:
It's one of those things to whereas the mind is truly a battlefield. There is a lot that goes on in here. So with this experience of feeling like a fraud, this is based off of what a person thinks about how they have attained what they have. So as you can see from the picture on the right, you have a person who is getting excellent grades. They have certificates, they have degrees, they have accolades. They're getting praise. Good job. They're very productive, very innovative.

Juanita Tookes [00:03:12]:
But look at the person's face. Right? Even though they have all of these things, it seems like the facial expression doesn't quite match everything that they have. And so this is what imposter syndrome looks like, whereas you have to put on a face and act like that you agree with everything everybody is saying about you, but internally, you don't agree because you don't feel worthy. You don't feel deserving. You don't feel like you actually had what it took to get what you have. So you wanna make sure that you are evaluating your belief system about yourself because this is based on a person's beliefs about their achievements. Despite contradicting evidence that supports a person's accomplishments, the fear of being found out as a phony is very, very real. Imposter syndrome is something that's really difficult to deal with because like the last point highlighted, there is evidence.

Juanita Tookes [00:04:02]:
You got into graduate school, you got the acceptance letter, you submitted the documentation to prove that you have what it takes to be successful as a UN Flint grad student, but you still feel like I don't deserve to be here. Maybe it was just a stroke of luck. They just needed to fill out the program, so they just let me in. So again, it's you battling with you in your own mind about great things that you're doing. So it's not enough to just have the accolades and the praise and the grades and the certificates and all of that. Your belief in yourself also has has to match that. Because if there's a mismatch, it does it doesn't matter. You can make straight a's every semester.

Juanita Tookes [00:04:41]:
If you don't believe in yourself, then you're always going to make an excuse as to why what you have is something that's undeserving of you. So in the last point, it talked about this fear of being found out as a phony. Right? So imposter syndrome can elicit different feelings and thoughts and behaviors, including self doubt, harsh self critique, self sabotage, pushing yourself way too hard, comparing yourself to others, difficulty accepting praise, rejecting praise, minimizing success, and creating very high standards. So it's one of those things to whereas when we talk about all of these different feelings, sometimes people feel as though they have to prove to other people that they deserve to be where they are, even though the evidence speaks for itself. When you don't believe in yourself, you will put yourself in a position to feel as though you have to prove to other people that you deserve to be in this program, that you deserve this job. And the whole thing about that is it's unnecessary. You really don't have to prove anything to anyone, but there's reasons for this too, that we're going to get into a little bit later in the presentation as to what other external factors go into a person feeling like they have to prove themselves. But if you think about creating high standards and pushing yourself way too hard and critiquing yourself really, really tough, this can also provoke feelings of anxiety because of the intense pressure that you're putting on yourself.

Juanita Tookes [00:06:07]:
And of course, along with anxiety, there's other mental health obstacles that can manifest from imposter syndrome. And anxiety is a very intense emotion. It requires a lot of emotional energy to to be anxious. And after feeling so much prolonged anxiety, this may also lead to depression, which is you basically fizzling out. You've been so nervous and you've been so anxious and you've been so worried and you've been so concerned and you've been so on edge to whereas now you're fizzling out and just feeling sad and maybe you're having pity parties for yourself. Maybe you're just really feeling like withdrawn. Maybe you should quit. Maybe you should give up.

Juanita Tookes [00:06:45]:
So these mental health obstacles can continue to manifest in negative ways if we don't address this issue. So the key to all of this, and I said this in the last slide, is you have to re examine and reevaluate your belief about yourself. Do you And I think the, the question that I'm asking the audience today is, do you believe in yourself? I don't think that this is a question that we often take time to ask, but when we're talking about imposter syndrome and how many people actually experience this, this is a very key question. And you have to be honest with yourself. Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe that you can do this? Do you believe that you can pass this class? Do you believe that you can be successful? And if the answer is yes, great. But if the answer is no, I would also say that's it's a positive thing in a way because at least you are being honest with yourself about where you are with your belief system. And the good news about that is that you can change that system. You can change that belief.

Juanita Tookes [00:07:42]:
Okay. So we have some illustrations here that kind of show another outside perspective of imposter syndrome. So if we look at the comic strip on the left, you see a person who's sitting there, and they're receiving a lot of positive feedback. Look at all of the positive speech bubbles there. And the person is like, I guess. You know, I okay. But then you look in the bottom, on the bottom of that same strip, the person receives one negative comment, and that's what they feed into. You're right.

Juanita Tookes [00:08:11]:
I'm a failure. It's true. It's one of those things to whereas as a society, as a world, we can receive 100 of 100 of positive compliments and accolades and praise, but we are used to just feeding into the negative. And this is how you start to change your beliefs about yourself. What do you choose to, to pay attention to? Let's just say that you get your test back. You took an exam, you get your test back. You got most of the questions, right? You got 2 questions wrong. You're focusing on those 2 questions.

Juanita Tookes [00:08:43]:
I used to work with students as an academic advisor, so I'm very used to students focusing on the minimal and maximizing it. That was a stupid answer. I don't know why I said that. Even though they passed the exam, still did very well, they're focusing on 2 questions that they wish they would have answered in a different way instead of just saying, hey. I got 2 questions wrong. I passed the test. I'm very proud of myself because I studied really hard. We tend to really focus on the negative and dismiss the positive.

Juanita Tookes [00:09:11]:
When you look at the the comic on the right, you have 3 people here. This is doctor Adams. She's a social psychologist and the world's top expert on imposter syndrome. And the doctor says, don't be silly. There are lots of scholars who've made more significant. Oh my god. And, basically, she's saying, oh my god. I'm doing it.

Juanita Tookes [00:09:29]:
I'm a world renowned expert on imposter syndrome, yet I am showing imposter syndrome in this in this conversation right now. So let's talk about the types of imposters. So we have 5 different categories here. And when we talk about the person who is the natural genius, this is somebody who believes that everything that comes natural to them is pretty much not enough as far as knowledge. There's always more that I can know. There's always more information. This person is typically not satisfied with the knowledge that they have. And I think to a certain extent, that's okay.

Juanita Tookes [00:10:04]:
But when you're not letting up on yourself to appreciate all that you do know, you put yourself in a position to say, it's never going to be good enough. I have to know more. I have to know more. And if you think about it, there is no person in this world who knows every single thing. So you have to be okay with the amount of knowledge that you have in a given situation, in a given circumstance. If you want to learn more, that's great. But you don't want to put it in the, in the perspective of, I have to know more because I need to know more because I don't know enough. The perfectionist.

Juanita Tookes [00:10:39]:
I will be the 1st to raise my hand and say, I am a recovering perfectionist. With these individuals, what you're doing is not good enough. So with the natural genius, the knowledge that you have isn't enough as far as volume, as far as what's already there. You could learn more. With a perfectionist, you can do better. Like, I know you spent all night on this project, but I am going to nitpick, and this is not good, and that's not great. You could have said this better. This could look better.

Juanita Tookes [00:11:06]:
Again, this is putting intense pressure on you to be perfect. And just like I said that there is no one person that knows every single thing, there is nothing in this world that is perfect. Everything has error to it. As flawless as it might look or be experienced, there is no one thing that is perfect. That is a very, very high and unrealistic bar to try to reach. And when you put yourself under the pressure of being perfect, it can really put you in a mental state of just anxiety and high intense level stress. When we talk about the expert, this is someone who they feel as though they have to be an expert to show and prove to the world that they are capable of having knowledge and being able to talk about certain things. If I don't sound like an expert, that means I might sound like a fool.

Juanita Tookes [00:11:53]:
If I don't sound like this, if I don't know this, if I don't understand every aspect of this concept, then I might be looked at as someone who is insufficient or deficient in knowledge. And you can see a lot of related components when we talk about the types of imposters. The super person, that's the person who says, if I have to ask for help, then I'm weak. I'm inferior. I have to show the world that I can achieve success all on my own. I don't need help from my teachers. I don't need tutoring. I don't need to talk to an academic adviser.

Juanita Tookes [00:12:26]:
I don't need to ask for help from my professors. I don't need to be in a study group. Like, I don't need any help at all. I'm gonna take all of this on because if I have to ask for help, that means that that's gonna be a sign that people know that I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be in this place if I'm asking for help. An example that's kind of outside of the student realm is even in my role, when I first got into this role, I talk with my team about the fact that I know I'm gonna make mistakes and I'm gonna ask questions. If I was a person who was a super person, I'm also a recovering super person as well. I would say, hey, given my title of assistant director, you don't ask for help.

Juanita Tookes [00:13:04]:
You're the one who's supposed to have all the answers. You're the one who's supposed to know everything. If you ask for help, that's gonna make you look like you don't know what you're doing. These are very realistic examples of how people think through things in their mind because they don't wanna be looked at as a fake or a fraud or a phony. The soloist is the person who is like, I can just I can just handle it all on my own. Like, I can just I can just hang by myself. I can this is I I when I think about the soloist, I think about, like, the independent student, the student who doesn't wanna really work in groups, who really doesn't want to network, the student who's just kind of like a loner. Because, again, associating with other people and maybe partnering to work more efficiently, it could kinda show that maybe I can't get things done on my own, and this would confirm that I am indeed a fraud, and I do not need to be in the place that I am right now.

Juanita Tookes [00:13:55]:
So I think it's important to also talk about origins as far as what contributes and causes imposter syndrome. Family dynamics, how you were raised, the messages that were communicated in your home environment, cultural expectations and stereotypes. This is something that's very important. When I was in grad school, I went to predominantly white colleges. And so given the history of black people, not being able to experience the opportunities of higher education for 100 and 100 of years, there was the stereotype that black people were inferior, that they were not capable. We were not capable of learning or attaining any higher type of education. And so sometimes even unconsciously, certain stereotypes that belong to a cultural group or ethnicity, or maybe just expectations of your culture can put into your mind. This thing that I have to prove, I have to prove that I'm not inferior.

Juanita Tookes [00:14:52]:
I have to prove that that I'm intellectual. I know, you know, the trajectory of, you know, of history has shown that, you know, certain groups of people may think of certain things about me and my capabilities, but I am gonna show and I'm gonna prove you wrong. That is an intense level of pressure to put yourself under as far as proving people wrong. I had to realize in my experience that even though my ancestors were not able to have the opportunities to pursue a higher education like me, times were indeed different to a certain extent. And even though things like racism and discrimination still exist because I did experience those things in grad school, I still had to realize that times were much better than what my ancestors were in. And I did not have to prove anything to anyone. I could work hard and work diligently and celebrate myself, but I did not have to prove to anyone that I was smart or intelligent. So sometimes we have to be come, we have to be more aware culturally, racially, ethnically about maybe expectations that are put on us or certain generational messages that we may have unconsciously ascribed to so that we're not putting undue pressure on ourselves to work way harder than we should be.

Juanita Tookes [00:16:06]:
Personality traits, existing mental health concerns. So if you're already having some, mental health struggles and maybe you have, a history of experiencing some mental health obstacles, this could also make you feel like you don't deserve to be in certain places, like a graduate program, a certain job position, for example. And mental health obstacles do not disqualify you. I just wanna say that. Because a lot of people experience I wanna say, if I could safely say it, I don't have research to back this up, but everyone has had a mental health obstacle in their lives. I can bet you. Everyone has. As far as how that manifests and shows up in the length of time, intensity, severity, frequency, that all differs.

Juanita Tookes [00:16:47]:
But I can tell you that I I wanna say that every person has had some type of mental health Nicole, and that does not disqualify you from being successful. New opportunities and responsibilities. Right? Stepping into a new role, stepping into a higher level of education, like going from undergrad to grad. This can make you feel a little fearful because things are new and the ante has been upped. You know what I mean? And so when we start to feel that pressure, we might start to tell ourselves that maybe this is too much for us. Maybe we weren't ready. Maybe I shouldn't apply for this program. Maybe this major is too hard.

Juanita Tookes [00:17:20]:
You know, maybe I should have waited. So new things can also contribute to imposter syndrome. Intersectional identities in certain spaces. I think it's very important to recognize that we have intersectional ident identities, multiple layers of who we are, which can make it difficult in certain spaces. I am a black woman. You can't separate me being black from me being a woman. And so because I am aware that I belong to 2 marginalized groups, I have to realize that my intersectional identity in certain spaces may be perceived in certain ways, which I have experienced before. But just because other people might have an issue with my identities, I cannot feed into that by saying, you know what? What these people might think about me is probably right.

Juanita Tookes [00:18:04]:
Like, I am a black woman in engineering. I should not be in an engineering program because this is typically for men. You know, me being a woman, I should probably go into another field because I'm gonna have a very difficult time here. I'm the only woman in my class or, you know, something like that. Like, this is how I our intersectional identities and our own perceptions about ourselves and what we believe about ourselves can show up and possibly put us off track for success. So we wanna make sure that we are aware of all of these things so that we can navigate and overcome so that we can continue on the path that we wanna be on to be successful and attain what we want out of life. So now that we've talked about the nature of imposter syndrome, what it is, how it shows up, what contributes to it. Now we we wanna talk about solutions and how to overcome that.

Juanita Tookes [00:18:54]:
So reframing is a very powerful skill in counseling. I often use this skill with my clients. Let's just imagine that they're looking at a picture this way. I'm not changing anything about the picture, but what I'm going to do is offer them a different angle so that they can look at it another way. And that's basically what reframing is. In order to stop feeling like an imposter, you have to stop thinking like an imposter, because it all starts from what you are thinking about yourself. Your thoughts feed into your beliefs. Your beliefs feed into your actions.

Juanita Tookes [00:19:28]:
Your actions determine how you show up in certain spaces and in certain rooms. It determines what you decide to pursue and not to pursue. So in a way, you have to really you have to set a line with yourself to choose how you're going to think about a given experience. I was reading, some research when I first created this presentation that I thought was extremely interesting. The body can't differentiate between the feelings of fear and excitement. So physical responses to both feelings are very similar. Your nervous system becomes aroused, and you know this because of the physical sensations you feel inside of your body. Your body tells you how you're feeling, but you have to tell your mind how to mentally interpret the experience.

Juanita Tookes [00:20:13]:
I'm just going to kind of let that sink in for just a second because that's pretty powerful. When I read it, I was like, oh my gosh, you have to tell your, your mind how to interpret this experience because your physical body will not be able to tell the difference. And I want you to think about moments where you have felt excited and moments where you have felt fear or afraid. And I want you to think about the similarities in those body sensations. They pretty much feel the same way. So if your body can't tell you what's going on, you have to tell you what's going on. Because if you don't tell your mind how to interpret this experience, if your mind is good, your, the gap in your mind is going to be filled with fear, fear has no problem filling in the gap and telling you this opportunity. This is something that you need to be very, very afraid of.

Juanita Tookes [00:21:04]:
I know you haven't taken a graduate level class before, and you're feeling really nervous. This is something that's very, you should be very, very afraid. That's how you should feel. That's what fear will tell you. But what I'm going to tell you in this presentation is you have the power to tell your mind something different. You can tell your mind, wow, I've never been to graduate school before. I've never taken this type of class before, but you know what? I'm a little nervous, but I'm excited to learn something new. And I know at the end of this, I'm going to pass this class.

Juanita Tookes [00:21:36]:
I'm going to pass this class. You have the power to change the narrative in your mind from a narrative of fear to a narrative of success and excitement about all that you're going to achieve with this new experience. So I think this is probably one of the most powerful slides in this presentation, because with this, I always like to emphasize the power that you have, just because your body can't tell the difference. That doesn't mean that you leave the gap in your mind empty to only be filled with something fearful. You do have the power to tell yourself that even though I'm feeling a little shaky, I am going to be successful. And this is something that is going to it's it's it's exciting. It's new. I'm going to do this.

Juanita Tookes [00:22:17]:
I got this. So some more solutions as well that's going to help counter the negative impact that with imposter syndrome is celebrating your wins. I don't think people do that enough. I mean, I think there's certain things and certain times where people know they need to celebrate something like birthdays, graduations, maybe job promotions. But there's so many other windows and spaces in your life that can be filled with celebrating wins. If you have met a personal goal, and we're not talking about big and small goals, a goal is a goal. You know what I mean? Your personal goal might be to get more physical activity in your schedule. So instead of driving to certain places, maybe you're walking a little bit more, or maybe you have finally solidified a study routine that you have committed to.

Juanita Tookes [00:23:04]:
And you're seeing some positive results from that. We're not talking about just celebrating after you take and pass an exam. We're talking about celebrating the fact that creating an effective study schedule was very difficult for you. But because you met with an advisor, you got some information, you you built up the discipline to study routinely, and now it's showing in your grades. That's something to celebrate, you know, before you even get the grade back on the test, celebrate the fact that you completed the test, that you studied and you finished it. Yes. You still have to wait on the grade, but you don't have to wait on the grade to celebrate the fact that you put forth a great effort, Embrace praise. A lot of times people are like blocking play praise left and right.

Juanita Tookes [00:23:48]:
Instead of blocking praise, I encourage you to open up yourself to saying thank you. It's amazing to me how no matter what the compliment might be, how quick we are to dismiss and minimize positive information that we're getting about ourselves. I gave the example the last time I did this talk about I was wearing a shirt into work one day, and somebody had complimented me on the shirt. Instead of just saying thank you, I said, well, you know what? I grabbed this off of the clearance rack. You know, it was just something that I needed, you know, in a pinch. And after that interaction, I had to ask myself, why are you first of all, this person didn't need all of that information. A simple thank you would have sufficed, but then I had to sit and reflect. Why were you so quick to shoot down that compliment? Why couldn't you just say thank you? Like, do you not think that the shirt that you're wearing is nice? And so when I had this moment of reflection, I realized that I really do a lot of praise blocking instead of praise embracing.

Juanita Tookes [00:24:47]:
So that is something that I wanna make you all aware of. We're all in this together. Right? Because like I said, I experienced imposter syndrome too. A lot of people do. So this is something that I have to constantly remind myself that when I get a compliment or positive feedback, when I feel that blocking coming up, I have to remind myself to go from this to this. Stop comparing is another solution. Social media is a big contributor to this. But I want you to make sure that you understand that nobody else is your measuring stick.

Juanita Tookes [00:25:17]:
You do not have to and should not compare yourself to anyone because everybody is uniquely different. So if you're comparing yourself to your peer, you're comparing grades. You know, people are, everyone is a different kind of learner. Everyone doesn't study the same. Everyone doesn't, perceive information the same. So I know a lot of times students talk, and depending on what they talk about, they start to feel bad about themselves and maybe what they did do or what they didn't do or maybe what they should be doing more of, or I wish I can know these things like you. You're taking the focus off of you and your uniqueness and your greatness. And now it's shifting.

Juanita Tookes [00:25:49]:
Your attention is shifting on to somebody else. And now you're looking at everything that they're doing and you want to know what they're doing. So I know it's hard to do because we are surrounded by stimuli and information all the time. So it's very easy to start comparing. But what I want to encourage and kind of gently challenge you to do is once you start feeling like you're starting to compare, and you will know that you'll start feeling that way because you'll start feeling bad about yourself, you want to nip that in the bud and say, whatever I'm looking at that's causing me to feel bad about where I am at in my life, I'm going to put the phone down. I'm going to unplug. Maybe you need to change the topic of the conversation or exit the conversation altogether, but just know that where you are is where you're supposed to be. You are a unique individual who has a unique way of thinking and being about this world.

Juanita Tookes [00:26:40]:
It's not a race. You are in your own lane and there's no need to compare. Grace and compassion, very important. You want to make sure that you are being, that you're letting up on yourself and you're not being, remember in the previous slide when I talked about harsh critique and being very hard on yourself, you want to make sure just like the little picture is doing, you're giving yourself grace and compassion. When you make mistakes, it's okay. It's okay. Yesterday, I made a mistake yesterday with one of my staff. I went home, and I could feel that harsh self critique.

Juanita Tookes [00:27:10]:
Why did you do that? I mean, duh. Like, the answer was clearly this. Like, why did you say this? And I had to say in that moment, I give myself grace and compassion for what was going on at that time that was the best answer that I could give. In hindsight, I could have given another answer, but I understand this context of the situation and why I did what I did. You have to give yourself grace because you're not always going to have all the answers. You're never really going to have all the answers because no one does, but give yourself grace. When you make mistakes, give yourself some understanding because depending on certain situations and certain things, maybe you couldn't have done more than you did. Maybe you studied the best you possibly could, or maybe you did all of the actions that you knew of at that time.

Juanita Tookes [00:27:54]:
Like don't criticize yourself to say you should have did more and you shoulda did this. If you didn't know it at the time, there's no way you could have done it. Give yourself compassion and kindness just like you would your friend or family member or even a stranger. It's funny how we're willing to give more grace and compassion to somebody who we don't know at all versus ourselves, and we've been with ourselves our whole lives. Growth mindset. I kind of met kind of talked about some some aspects of this when I was talking about grace and compassion, but you wanna make sure that your mind stays open for growth. And an element of openness is giving yourself grace when you make mistakes and understanding that those mistakes do not define you. You wanna make sure that you have an open way of thinking compared to a rigid closed off way of thinking about yourself.

Juanita Tookes [00:28:39]:
Some reminders, focus on the facts and not the fears because fears are what be that's the foundation of anxiety. Fears. Affirm yourself. Every time you experience a negative thought, I want you to affirm yourself. And affirmation is just a positive message that you give to yourself about you. I want you to practice how to affirm yourself so that you're not depending on other people to do it. It's such a strength when you have the ability to affirm yourself. Understand that failure can teach you a lot.

Juanita Tookes [00:29:06]:
Failure is one of the best professors you will ever have. And I know none of us want to experience failure. But one thing I will say is that there you cannot succeed without failing. It's a part of the process. It's a part of the learning process. It's a part of the building process. It's a part of the identity formation process. Once you accept that failure is going to be one of your greatest teachers.

Juanita Tookes [00:29:29]:
When you do fail at something, you will not internalize it as is as if it is a part of you or defines who you are. I am a failure. You are not a failure. You may have failed at something that's going to build you up and set you up for success the next time, But you as a person are not a failure. Self love, self care, self celebration, self work, self, self, self. It starts with you. It all comes from you. So making sure that you are loving yourself, taking care of yourself, celebrating yourself, empathizing with yourself, all of the things that you give outwardly, make sure that you are doing that for yourself.

Juanita Tookes [00:30:06]:
1st, everyone makes mistakes. Everyone. There's a reason why that, that word is capitalized. You are not the only one making mistakes. Everyone makes them. But whenever we do make a mistake, it seems as though we are the only ones anyone else would have known better. I'm the only one who probably did this. How can I do something so stupid or so silly? Trust me.

Juanita Tookes [00:30:28]:
Everyone makes mistakes every single day. Mistakes are inevitable. You are going to be making mistakes for the rest of your life. I'm not saying this to be discouraging. I'm saying it because it's a fact of life. And if you think about, like I just said a little earlier, failure can teach you a lot. Mistakes can teach you a lot. They are a part of how we learn.

Juanita Tookes [00:30:48]:
They're a part of how we learn. Be kind to your mind. Grad school is an, is a higher level of learning. It is gonna challenge you cognitively and intellectually, but don't crush, push your mind to the limit. Don't overwork it. Don't burn it out. If it needs a break, give it a break. If you need to take a nap, take a nap.

Juanita Tookes [00:31:06]:
If you need to eat, eat. If you need to kind of push the work aside, go take a walk and come back to it. Maybe the next day, then do that. But please do not overwork your mind. You and your mind are a team in order to be successful. You have to work with it and it has to work with you. But if you are forcing your brain to stay up at all hours of the night, if you are not nourishing your body, if you're not affirming yourself with positive messages that circulate around your mind, you are putting your mind in a state of just you're being cruel. If you think about it, if you're being what's the opposite of kind, full, don't be cruel to your mind.

Juanita Tookes [00:31:41]:
You are all, you are both a team. And if you are kind to your mind, you can solidify your success because you know what your limits are. Remember, don't be a super person. Everybody has limits, and it's very important for you to be aware of those limits. So you're not pushing yourself past those limits. So I wanted to include this slide. This is a little bit different, than the talk I gave before. Even though I did talk about growth mindset, I wanted to include a visualization here so you can see what a growth versus a fixed mindset looks like.

Juanita Tookes [00:32:13]:
So we when we talk about a fixed mindset, you're avoiding challenges because you don't think you could do it. You don't even wanna be bothered with the rejection or the failure of it all. So you just avoid it. You refuse to receive feedback. Now feedback is going to be a part of your professional and personal life. You're gonna be getting feedback just about everything that you do. And if you are so afraid to receive feedback, feedback is a very important skill as a student because you're always gonna be getting feedback in something. And if you are thinking that the feedback that you get is defining who you are, then you're not gonna be able to learn anything out of the experience that's supposed to teach and build you.

Juanita Tookes [00:32:50]:
Focus on proving yourself, we kinda talked about that earlier. Feeling threatened by other successes, which goes into comparison. Can't accept failures or mistakes because you don't have grace or compassion for yourself like we what we talked about. Shying away from unfamiliar things and belief that that talent is static, right? These are all things that go with a fixed mindset. But when you have a growth mindset, it's the exact opposite. You're looking at things differently. You're looking at how things can build you and expand and enhance your life experience. So you're viewing challenges and opportunities as something exciting.

Juanita Tookes [00:33:23]:
You're embracing feedback. You're focusing on the process, not the results. You're inspired by others. Instead of being intimidated by them, You're learning how to grow from your failures because you know it's one of your greatest teachers. You're stepping out of your comfort zone, and you're believing that talent is ever improving. So by incorporating these practices into your daily life, you can foster a growth mindset and enhance your ability to learn and adapt. I mentioned reflection earlier. Reflection is also a very important skill that can help counter the impact and effects of imposter syndrome.

Juanita Tookes [00:33:56]:
So when you have some minutes, maybe at the end of your day, or if you're getting your day started a little early, you wanna practice some reflection so that you can check-in with yourself and you are aware of how you're feeling and what you're thinking in certain moments. So try answering questions to see what you can learn about yourself and your mindset so that you can improve the way that you think. So what are my accomplishments? What accomplishments am I not owning and why? Because you have a lot of people who are doing some great stuff, but they don't wanna recognize it for whatever reason. Which beliefs about success are holding me back? What abilities and or strengths am I overlooking? Are these thoughts based on facts or fears? What would I say to a friend in this situation? How would I say this to myself? When have I proved my inner critic wrong in the past? And when we talk about inner critic, we're talking about that voice that you hear in your mind that is shaking their finger at you, telling you, you should have did this better. Why did you do this? This was silly. I don't know why you did that. That's the inner critic. And an an inner critic, I mean, it could it could serve to have some helpful information, but a lot of times, the inner critic, when we're talking about imposter syndrome, has gone way past, way past us giving us some helpful feedback or increasing our awareness about something.

Juanita Tookes [00:35:07]:
This is making us feel bad about something that we did, making us think that it should have been perfect or we should have been an expert. Remember those 5 types of impostors? Making us feel like we should have been a persona of one of those types of impostors. Instead of just saying, hey. I did my best, and I'm gonna do better next time. So when have I proved my inner critic wrong? When have you went against that voice and said, look, I know you're telling me that I should have did this, but I did the best I could, and I'm proud of it.

Dr. Christopher Lewis [00:35:34]:
The University of Michigan Flint has a full array of masters and doctorate programs if you are interested in continuing your education. Whether you're looking for in person or online learning options, the University of Michigan Flint has programs that will meet your needs. For more information on any of our graduate programs, visit umflint.edu/graduateprograms to find out more. Thanks again for spending time with me as you prepare to be a victor in grad school. I look forward to speaking with you again soon as we embark together on your graduate school journey. If you have any questions or want to reach out, email me at [email protected].