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How do I heal while I’m in a toxic relationship?

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

Release Date: 04/27/2025

Can Love Survive When Illness and Grief Take Over?

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

What happens when illness and grief collide in a relationship? How do you move forward when the person you love has already turned away—and the end of your marriage feels like one more profound loss to grieve? For many couples, grief in relationships unfolds quietly, shaped by circumstances neither partner chose and struggles neither fully understood. In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener whose wife has asked for a separation after years of emotional distance shaped by chronic illness, infertility, and accumulated loss....

Does loving unconditionally mean letting myself be treated like a toy?

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

Is unconditional love in relationships supposed to mean accepting hurtful behavior? What happens when someone is hot and cold in a relationship—leaving you emotionally drained, confused, and full of self-blame? Where is the line between loving deeply and staying in a dynamic that slowly erodes your sense of self? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wonders whether unconditional love in relationships means remaining in a partnership that feels inconsistent, painful, and emotionally unsafe. Angela explores: Why...

I ended a bad relationship. But now I feel stuck.

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

What if leaving a painful relationship doesn’t bring relief—but leaves you feeling numb, disconnected, and grieving in a new way? What if the part of you that once cared deeply now feels buried beneath emotional exhaustion? For many people, healing after a relationship ends doesn’t begin with clarity or momentum—but with a quiet sense of depletion and loss. In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to Heather, who left a deeply painful relationship only to find herself in an unfamiliar state of apathy. She wonders how to move...

She’s waiting for me to change. I’m trying to figure out how.

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

How do you fix a relationship when love is still there—but your partner is burned out from carrying the emotional load? Especially when you never learned the relationship communication skills you needed in the first place? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to Jazmin, a listener who finds herself at a painful turning point. She’s in the healthiest relationship of her life—but her wife is exhausted after years of carrying the emotional labor and waiting for Jazmin to fully show up. Now, Jazmin is trying to understand how the...

Our Traumas Got the Best of Us. How Do I Break the Cycle?

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

How do you trust yourself to love again after a toxic relationship—especially when trauma got in the way of the love you shared? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a young mother navigating a painful breakup with her child’s father. The love was real—but so were the patterns that made the relationship unsustainable. Now she’s wondering how to heal, when (or whether) to start dating again, and how to avoid repeating the same dynamics in the future. For many people, trusting yourself after a toxic relationship isn’t about...

He’s a black-and-white thinker. I see the gray. How do we talk?

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

How do you communicate in a relationship when you and your partner speak very different emotional “languages”? What happens when one partner prefers direct, black-and-white answers, while the other communicates with nuance, context, and emotional meaning? Differences in communication styles in relationships can create misunderstanding, frustration, and distance—especially when neither person feels truly heard. In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wants to improve communication with her husband. She’s trying to...

I want to be a better listener—but I can’t stop interrupting my partner!

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

How do you become a better listener when emotions are running high—and the urge to interrupt takes over? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wants to stop interrupting his spouse during tense conversations—but finds it difficult to stay present and quiet when strong emotions are activated. For many people, becoming a better listener in relationships isn’t about trying harder or saying less—it’s about learning how to stay regulated enough to truly hear what’s being said, especially when conversations feel...

After 15 years of gaslighting, how can I be sure I wasn’t the problem?

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

How do you trust yourself after years of gaslighting in a relationship? What happens when a long-term relationship leaves you questioning your own goodness, perception, and reality? How do you rebuild self-trust after being told—explicitly or subtly—that you were the problem all along? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who spent 15 years in a marriage shaped by gaslighting and emotional manipulation. Now out of the relationship, he’s left wondering whether his doubts, needs, or concerns were ever valid—and how...

Why won't my partner take emotional responsibility in our relationship?

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

What do you do when you’re growing—but your partner refuses to take responsibility in the relationship? How do you stay grounded in your own self-reflection when your spouse avoids accountability, deflects feedback, or shuts down conversations about change? And how do you speak your truth without getting pulled into blame, defensiveness, or emotional exhaustion? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who has done deep personal work but feels stuck with a partner who won’t engage in the same level of reflection. As her...

I grew up with constant fighting. Now I shut down during conflict. How can I work through this?

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

What do you do when your body shuts down during relationship conflict—especially when you want to stay engaged but feel frozen in the moment? How do you respond when difficult conversations trigger silence, numbness, or a blank mind instead of the words you wish you could say? For many people, shutting down in relationships isn’t a choice—it’s a bodily response that takes over under stress. In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who struggles to stay present during hard conversations with his girlfriend. When...

More Episodes

Is it possible to heal your heart while you’re still in a relationship that hurts you?

Or do you have to leave before real healing can even begin? How do you make sense of the tension between wanting to grow—and living with someone who continues to cause emotional pain?

In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who feels trapped between her longing for healing and the reality of staying in a relationship that feels damaging. She’s trying to understand whether healing in a toxic relationship is possible—or whether staying keeps her stuck in survival mode.

Angela explores:

Why survival mode and healing mode can’t fully operate at the same time
How toxic relationships keep old wounds open and prevent genuine recovery
Why letting go of trying to earn love is often the first step toward freedom
How facing reality—without self-blame—creates space for clarity and change
Practical steps you can take now to support your healing, whether or not you’re ready to leave yet

If you’ve ever felt caught between your desire to heal and the reality of an unhealthy relationship, this episode offers grounded, compassionate relationship guidance for finding your way toward greater strength, clarity, and self-respect.

✑ Join the conversation at askangela.co or leave a question at askangelapodcast.com

✫ Because everyone deserves love, trust, and connection in their relationships—and you don’t have to figure it out alone.

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