He’s a black-and-white thinker. I see the gray. How do we talk?
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
Release Date: 07/29/2025
I ended a bad relationship. But now I feel stuck.
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
What if leaving a traumatic relationship doesn’t bring relief—but leaves you feeling numb, disconnected, and stuck in a new kind of grief? What if the part of you that once cared deeply now feels lost beneath the weight of emotional exhaustion? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to Heather, who left a painful relationship only to find herself in an unfamiliar state of apathy. She wonders how to begin the process of relationship trauma healing when it feels like she’s trapped in a bad relationship with herself—and the self she...
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She’s waiting for me to change. I’m trying to figure out how.
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
How do you fix a relationship when love is still there—but your partner is burned out from carrying the emotional load? Especially when you never learned the relationship communication skills you needed to begin with? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to Jazmin—a listener who’s in the healthiest relationship of her life, but now facing a painful turning point. Her wife is exhausted from years of emotional labor and waiting for Jazmin to do the work she couldn’t do earlier in the relationship. Now, Jazmin is trying to figure...
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Our Traumas Got the Best of Us. How Do I Break the Cycle?
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
How do you trust yourself to love again after a toxic relationship—especially when trauma got in the way of the love you had? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a young mother navigating a painful breakup with her child’s father. The love was real—but so were the trauma patterns that made the relationship untenable. Now, she’s wondering how to heal, when to start dating again, and how to break the cycle for good. Angela explores: • Why even loving relationships can turn toxic when trauma is unhealed • The importance...
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He’s a black-and-white thinker. I see the gray. How do we talk?
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
How do you communicate in a relationship when you and your partner speak very different emotional “languages”? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wants to improve communication with her husband—a man who prefers direct, black-and-white answers—while she tends to communicate with nuance and emotional context. Angela explores: • Why communication styles differ—and how to bridge the gap between them • The distinction between high-context and low-context communication • How people-pleasing and fear of...
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I want to be a better listener—but I can’t stop interrupting my partner!
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
How do you become a better listener when emotions are running high—and the urge to interrupt takes over? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wants to stop interrupting his spouse during tense conversations—but finds it hard to stay quiet when big feelings are stirred up inside. Angela explores: • Why interrupting often stems from caring deeply—not from a lack of interest • How emotional discomfort drives the urge to respond too quickly • The role of the “inner translator” in distorting what your...
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After 15 years of gaslighting, how can I be sure I wasn’t the problem?
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who spent 15 years in a marriage marked by gaslighting—and is now left questioning whether he was truly the problem all along. Angela explores: • What gaslighting actually is, and why it’s so damaging • How gaslighting erodes your ability to trust your own reality • Why people who worry about being good are rarely the problem • How internalized voices of abusive partners keep us stuck in cycles of self-doubt • Why proving your goodness never leads to...
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Why won't my partner take emotional responsibility in our relationship?
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who’s grown through self-reflection and personal responsibility but feels stuck with a spouse who avoids doing the same. Angela explores: • Why trying to convince your partner to change often backfires • The difference between blame and honest self-reflection • What emotional responsibility looks like in healthy relationships • How to speak your truth without getting pulled into defensiveness • Why it’s not your job to manage your partner’s growth • What to do when...
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I grew up with constant fighting. Now I shut down during conflict. How can I work through this?
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
What do you do when your body goes into shutdown mode during relationship conflict—especially when you want to do better but feel frozen in the moment? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who struggles to stay engaged during difficult conversations with his girlfriend: shutting down, freezing, and going blank under stress. Angela explores: • Why your nervous system may interpret conflict as danger • How the “freeze” response is a trauma-based form of protection • What it means to expand your “window of...
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My spouse and I both have past trauma and poor communication skills. Is it possible to get better together?
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
Is it possible to heal old wounds and build a stronger relationship—even if both you and your partner have past trauma? What happens when one person is ready to grow, and the other is unsure? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener wondering whether it's possible for a struggling marriage to heal when both partners bring communication struggles and unhealed trauma into the relationship. Angela explores: How relationship patterns rooted in trauma often run on autopilot Why the first step toward change is gaining awareness...
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How do I foster growth in my relationship without my partner’s help?
Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma
What do you do when you want to grow closer—and your partner keeps putting you off? Can you improve your relationship when your partner isn’t willing to work on communication? In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who feels stuck: she keeps trying to have real conversations with her partner, but he avoids every attempt, leaving her feeling unheard, frustrated, and blamed for being “too emotional.” Angela explores: Why you can’t fix communication problems by working harder alone How avoidance and deflection...
info_outlineHow do you communicate in a relationship when you and your partner speak very different emotional “languages”?
In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wants to improve communication with her husband—a man who prefers direct, black-and-white answers—while she tends to communicate with nuance and emotional context.
Angela explores:
• Why communication styles differ—and how to bridge the gap between them
• The distinction between high-context and low-context communication
• How people-pleasing and fear of conflict can lead to indirect responses
• Why “just saying yes or no” can feel impossible for trauma survivors
• How to navigate differing preferences without losing your voice
• When a partner’s disappointment is healthy—and when it crosses the line
If you’ve ever felt stuck trying to answer your partner directly without abandoning your own emotional truth—or you’ve struggled to speak up because you fear conflict or disapproval—this episode offers insight, support, and strategies for finding your authentic voice in love.
✑ Join the conversation or leave a comment at askangela.co
✫ Because love after trauma takes a different kind of wisdom—and you don’t have to figure it out alone.
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