Evolutionary Parenting: Beyond the Sleep Training Narrative feat. Tracy Cassels | #43
Release Date: 11/19/2025
Raising Anti-Doomers: Hope and Grounding in a Heavy World feat. Ariella Cook-Shonkoff | #48
Spoil Your Baby
How can we stay emotionally grounded and raise hopeful children when the world around us feels so heavy? Ariella Cook-Shonkoff is a psychotherapist and writer who has spent her life finding healing and refuge through the creative process. Her journey toward writing her book, Raising Anti-Doomers, was sparked by her own "mother bear" worries about raising kids in a California region increasingly threatened by intense wildfires. In her therapy practice, she also noticed a deep need to resource parents and young people who were struggling with climate anxiety and a sense of hopelessness. She...
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Trust Your Instinct: Quieting the Sleep Training Noise feat. Gabrielle Ferrara | #47
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Why is "normal" infant sleep so often labeled as a problem needing medical intervention? Gabrielle Ferrara began her professional life dedicated to mental health counseling and social work, holding a Master’s in Social Work and licensure as a clinical social worker in both New Jersey and Florida. She initially planned to return to her full-time therapy job after having her son, never anticipating motherhood would completely uproot her career path. When her son’s personal sleep journey began to get "a little hairy" at four months old, she discovered Greer's work. Listening to the...
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Discipline and Development: The Zero to Three Guide feat. Dr. Vanessa Lapointe | #46
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Why is traditional discipline actually causing anxiety and behavioral problems in our children? Dr. Vanessa Lapointe began her career as a practicing psychologist and mother, having been trained in a behaviorist approach that taught her to squash any unwanted behavior to make it stop. She quickly noticed a profound mismatch between this training and the reality of the children coming into her clinic. Dr. Lapointe observed that many referrals were anxiety-based, and it seemed that the very discipline methods being employed by parents were actually causing the anxiety and leading to...
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Why Nasal Breathing is Essential for Early Development feat. Dr. Shereen Lim | #45
Spoil Your Baby
How does optimal breathing and jaw development impact your child's sleep, mood, and ability to thrive? Dr. Shereen Lim, originally a general dentist for 26 years, first delved into the world of sleep apnea due to her husband’s persistent snoring. Her initial focus was on dental devices for adults, but this quickly shifted when she wondered why children’s jaws weren't helped to grow properly from the start. She came across research indicating that palate expansion could reduce snoring and obstructive sleep apnea in children. This led her to pursue early interceptive orthodontics....
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I'm Right, You're Stupid: Healing Adult Sibling Wounds feat. Jessica Marriot and Dr. Bluma Sapir | #44
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Why is healing the complex relationships between adult siblings a universally overlooked area in mental health? Jessica Marriot and Dr. Bluma Sapir, who are sisters, were estranged and hated each other for their entire lives until the pandemic prompted a change. Their relationship healing began slowly on Zoom. This unusual process led to a realization: adult sibling healing is a universally overlooked population in the mental health field, with everything else seeming to exist except for it. This observation reinforced their decision to document their journey and write their book, I'm...
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Evolutionary Parenting: Beyond the Sleep Training Narrative feat. Tracy Cassels | #43
Spoil Your Baby
Why does our society place more value on controlled baby sleep than on maternal support, proper feeding, or comfort? Tracy Cassels began her influential work while pursuing her PhD in developmental psychology, coinciding with her pregnancy. She observed a profound contradiction between the widespread advice advocating for infant sleep training—even when pushed by some academics—and the robust findings found in developmental literature and her own research. This mismatch, which she initially felt was a foreign concept given her own background, became the critical momentum to start...
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Why Maternal Love is a Neurobiological Craving feat. Kelly McDaniel | #42
Spoil Your Baby
What happens when we spend our adult lives searching for a quality of maternal love we never received as a child? Kelly McDaniel, a licensed professional counselor and author, introduced the concept of "Mother Hunger" in her first book, Ready to Heal. She identified Mother Hunger as an attachment injury stemming from maternal deprivation, noting that millions of women suffer a lifelong emotional burden that adversely affects self-worth, eating habits, and relational wellness. This profound attachment trauma, Kelly explains, is a neurobiological craving for unmet needs: nurturing,...
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Self-Mothering: Your Most Important Parenting Job feat. Dr. Gertrude Lyons | #41
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What if the most crucial job we have in motherhood is learning to mother ourselves? Dr. Gertrude Lyons, a master coach and thought leader, developed the “Rewriting the Mother Code” framework after conducting an in-depth doctoral thesis. Her purpose is to help women rewrite outdated narratives surrounding motherhood, self-worth, and identity. Dr. Lyons was prompted to begin this work after realizing that even as an established coach, she had lost herself in motherhood, stopped mothering herself, and experienced deep regret and remorse. This experience motivated her to investigate what is...
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Beyond Perfection: Getting "Good Enough" Sleep feat. Talia Shapero | #40
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Is it possible to improve our sleep and reduce anxiety, even when navigating the exhaustion of new parenthood? Talia Shapero's journey to becoming an adult sleep coach began with her own years-long battle with insomnia. This sleep struggle became significantly worse after the birth of her son. Even when her baby started sleeping through the night, Talia found she was unable to. This chronic lack of quality sleep severely impacted her cognitive, physical, and emotional health, leading to intense anxiety and a dysregulated mood. Fortunately, her medical practitioners were insightful,...
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From Low Nurture to Nurture Revolution feat. The Nurture Duo | #39
Spoil Your Baby
How do you turn a childhood of "low nurture" into a passion for helping other parents find confidence and joy in responsive motherhood? Erin and Hayley are twins and the co-founders of The Nurture Duo. They shared their challenging upbringing, having grown up in a single-parent household with two older brothers. Due to circumstances including poverty, mental illness, and addiction, they experienced a "low nurture" background, though they are grateful their parents did the best they could. They always nurtured each other from the womb, leading to a strong bond. Their shared love of children led...
info_outlineWhy does our society place more value on controlled baby sleep than on maternal support, proper feeding, or comfort?
Tracy Cassels began her influential work while pursuing her PhD in developmental psychology, coinciding with her pregnancy. She observed a profound contradiction between the widespread advice advocating for infant sleep training—even when pushed by some academics—and the robust findings found in developmental literature and her own research. This mismatch, which she initially felt was a foreign concept given her own background, became the critical momentum to start sharing her perspective publicly. This led to the launch of her extensive website, Evolutionary Parenting, roughly 15 years ago. This platform developed into an invaluable resource, providing detailed and thoroughly referenced information on nearly every topic related to infant brain development for parents. Tracy often interacts with families, some of whom bring along skeptical relatives or partners, seeking clarification on the evidence surrounding sleep practices. She approaches the topic by presenting an honest assessment of what the research confirms and what remains unknown, helping listeners discern the subtleties often missing from conventional advice. She argues that the findings against certain practices, such as sleep training, form an “incredibly strong circumstantial case” rather than a clear-cut legal link. Furthermore, Tracy contends that many sleep problems are misinterpreted as behavioral failures when they are actually symptoms of underlying issues like allergies, sleep apnea, or hormonal imbalances. Her most recent paper with Levita DeSousa advocates for researchers to adopt a much broader perspective, moving away from seeking a "one size fits all solution" and instead considering the full family dynamic, cultural influences, and health context when studying infant sleep.
Key Takeaways
● Sleep problems are often symptoms of underlying physical or psychological issues, not always primary behavioral faults of the baby or parent.
● The research focusing specifically on mothers and babies, particularly concerning clinical interventions and emotional connection, is significantly lacking.
● An overemphasis on controlled sleep in modern society leads parents to prioritize it over other critical nurturing components like love, comfort, and proper feeding.
● Some research proposes methods to help mothers suppress the natural anxiety they feel when hearing their distressed baby cry, counteracting an essential evolutionary response.
● Infant sleep should be viewed as a family dynamic influenced by culture, general family preferences, health issues, and the need for connection.
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Resources
● Tracy’s Instagram: @tracycasselsphd https://www.instagram.com/tracycasselsphd
● Books by Tracy Cassels:
○ Finding Daycare: Navigating the Murky World of Child Care in Today’s Society
○ https://www.amazon.com/Finding-Daycare-Navigating-Todays-Society-ebook/dp/B07PGDR6TC
● Evolutionary Parenting’s website: https://evolutionaryparenting.com/ (Note: Some parts are currently missing due to a crash, but it will be restored soon).
Guest Bio: Tracy Cassels holds a PhD in developmental psychology and is the founder of Evolutionary Parenting. She co-authored a paper with Levita DeSousa, an attachment theory specialist at Monash University in Australia, focusing on how sleep training ignores the larger family dynamic. She is also a contributor to an upcoming academic book on sleep, edited by Jenny (who Greer has also written with), which includes chapters from Darshan Arves and LaVita DeSousa.
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