I'm Right, You're Stupid: Healing Adult Sibling Wounds feat. Jessica Marriot and Dr. Bluma Sapir | #44
Release Date: 11/26/2025
Spoil Your Baby
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Why is traditional discipline actually causing anxiety and behavioral problems in our children? Dr. Vanessa Lapointe began her career as a practicing psychologist and mother, having been trained in a behaviorist approach that taught her to squash any unwanted behavior to make it stop. She quickly noticed a profound mismatch between this training and the reality of the children coming into her clinic. Dr. Lapointe observed that many referrals were anxiety-based, and it seemed that the very discipline methods being employed by parents were actually causing the anxiety and leading to...
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How does optimal breathing and jaw development impact your child's sleep, mood, and ability to thrive? Dr. Shereen Lim, originally a general dentist for 26 years, first delved into the world of sleep apnea due to her husband’s persistent snoring. Her initial focus was on dental devices for adults, but this quickly shifted when she wondered why children’s jaws weren't helped to grow properly from the start. She came across research indicating that palate expansion could reduce snoring and obstructive sleep apnea in children. This led her to pursue early interceptive orthodontics....
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Why is healing the complex relationships between adult siblings a universally overlooked area in mental health? Jessica Marriot and Dr. Bluma Sapir, who are sisters, were estranged and hated each other for their entire lives until the pandemic prompted a change. Their relationship healing began slowly on Zoom. This unusual process led to a realization: adult sibling healing is a universally overlooked population in the mental health field, with everything else seeming to exist except for it. This observation reinforced their decision to document their journey and write their book, I'm...
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Why does our society place more value on controlled baby sleep than on maternal support, proper feeding, or comfort? Tracy Cassels began her influential work while pursuing her PhD in developmental psychology, coinciding with her pregnancy. She observed a profound contradiction between the widespread advice advocating for infant sleep training—even when pushed by some academics—and the robust findings found in developmental literature and her own research. This mismatch, which she initially felt was a foreign concept given her own background, became the critical momentum to start...
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What happens when we spend our adult lives searching for a quality of maternal love we never received as a child? Kelly McDaniel, a licensed professional counselor and author, introduced the concept of "Mother Hunger" in her first book, Ready to Heal. She identified Mother Hunger as an attachment injury stemming from maternal deprivation, noting that millions of women suffer a lifelong emotional burden that adversely affects self-worth, eating habits, and relational wellness. This profound attachment trauma, Kelly explains, is a neurobiological craving for unmet needs: nurturing,...
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What if the most crucial job we have in motherhood is learning to mother ourselves? Dr. Gertrude Lyons, a master coach and thought leader, developed the “Rewriting the Mother Code” framework after conducting an in-depth doctoral thesis. Her purpose is to help women rewrite outdated narratives surrounding motherhood, self-worth, and identity. Dr. Lyons was prompted to begin this work after realizing that even as an established coach, she had lost herself in motherhood, stopped mothering herself, and experienced deep regret and remorse. This experience motivated her to investigate what is...
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Is it possible to improve our sleep and reduce anxiety, even when navigating the exhaustion of new parenthood? Talia Shapero's journey to becoming an adult sleep coach began with her own years-long battle with insomnia. This sleep struggle became significantly worse after the birth of her son. Even when her baby started sleeping through the night, Talia found she was unable to. This chronic lack of quality sleep severely impacted her cognitive, physical, and emotional health, leading to intense anxiety and a dysregulated mood. Fortunately, her medical practitioners were insightful,...
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How do you turn a childhood of "low nurture" into a passion for helping other parents find confidence and joy in responsive motherhood? Erin and Hayley are twins and the co-founders of The Nurture Duo. They shared their challenging upbringing, having grown up in a single-parent household with two older brothers. Due to circumstances including poverty, mental illness, and addiction, they experienced a "low nurture" background, though they are grateful their parents did the best they could. They always nurtured each other from the womb, leading to a strong bond. Their shared love of children led...
info_outlineWhy is healing the complex relationships between adult siblings a universally overlooked area in mental health?
Jessica Marriot and Dr. Bluma Sapir, who are sisters, were estranged and hated each other for their entire lives until the pandemic prompted a change. Their relationship healing began slowly on Zoom. This unusual process led to a realization: adult sibling healing is a universally overlooked population in the mental health field, with everything else seeming to exist except for it. This observation reinforced their decision to document their journey and write their book, I'm Right, You're Stupid: Growing up your sibling relationship. Dr. Bluma Sapir, a clinical psychologist, provided valuable background, enabling them to dive deep into existing research, reinforcing their path to help others.
They discovered that their deep pain stemmed from origin stories where family legacy burdens, such as the generational pattern of one sibling being the "black sheep" and the other the "favorite," played a defining role. Both sisters came to understand that they had played dual roles, acting as both the victim and the abuser for each other. The healing process involved using neuroscientific tools, like deep breathing and grounding exercises derived in part from Polyvagal Theory, to co-regulate themselves. Through this hard work, they stress the importance of teaching repair and perspective-taking, emphasizing that true healing focuses on authenticity (what was felt) rather than accuracy (what was precisely remembered). Ultimately, this repair offered a "wider lens" on their purpose, provided clarity in other relationships, and helped rewire their nervous systems toward calm and security.
Key Takeaways
● Adult sibling healing is recognized as a universally overlooked population in the mental health field.
● The relationship with a sibling is often the first relationship where we learn how to get along or not get along with others.
● The roots of sibling conflict often stem from family legacy burdens, where generational roles like "black sheep" or "favorite" are passed down.
● When managing sibling conflict, parents should serve as regulators and co-regulators, avoiding the urge to choose sides or let children "figure it out".
● Healing requires focusing on authenticity—hearing what the other person experienced—rather than arguing over the factual accuracy of past events.
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Resources
● Book I'm Right, You're Stupid: Growing up your sibling relationship.
● Websites Your Sib Hub: https://yoursibhub.com (for more information and their fun quiz).
Guest Bios: Jessica Marriot is the founder of Forward Thinkers and innovative entrepreneur who partners with global brands to disrupt industries and drive revenue growth. Dr. Bluma Sapir is a distinguished clinical psychologist with over 20 years experience providing transformative psychotherapy to individuals and pairs.
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