Warrior Portraits After Breast Cancer
A Breast Cancer Diary with Kathleen Moss
Release Date: 02/23/2025
A Breast Cancer Diary with Kathleen Moss
My new friend Lori is an amazing advocate for the power of exercise oncology and she's a wonderful hostess and educator here in the Northwest for those who want to try dragonboat paddling. As a 17 year survivor of breast cancer, she's met a lot of other breast cancer patients and her insights are so clear around one big value: just keep moving. I'm looking forward to having her back for a part two discussion. This was not enough for me! Don't forget to rate and review the show and if you want to enter for a prize for doing so, email a screenshot of your review to me at Subscribe on: ...
info_outlineA Breast Cancer Diary with Kathleen Moss
My friend Danyel takes photos of breast cancer survivors in her studio on Hillsboro Oregon. In this episode she describes what that's been like, and she also talks about her recent diagnosis with stage four breast cancer. Don't forget to rate and review the show and if you want to enter for a prize for doing so, email a screenshot of your review to me at Subscribe on: - - Or watch on YouTube: Support my work by making a donation here: Join my Newsletter List here: Resources: The facebook group that Danyel and I connect on is called Oregon Flatties The Photo...
info_outlineA Breast Cancer Diary with Kathleen Moss
This and next week I'll be interviewing some friends close to home. I live in Oregon Wine Country, and there are a few breast cancer survivors who live in my part of the woods that I've gotten close to over the past two years. Brenda is one. We talk just about every week and see each other monthly. She's been through so much, and she keeps going, relying mostly on her own strength. I was thrilled to be able to hand her the mic, as we sat in my living room together to record this episode. Transcript: Today's my first in person interview. I have my friend Brenda Huff with me. She's a...
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Today I'm reflecting on the science related to last week's episode talking to Christina Miner about her Capsular Contracture and Breast Implant Rupture. Lot's of good resources linked below about this.... Links: Another great podcast episode on the history of implant mis-regulation is . The checklist I mentioned is here: A report on Breast Implant Illness is here: The website I mentioned for implant-associated lymphoma is here: And a short interview about Squamous Cell Cancer and implants: A great advocacy group that will help you to advocate for better research: Transcript:...
info_outlineA Breast Cancer Diary with Kathleen Moss
This episode's guest is Christina Miner, host of Our Scars Speak Podcast. Today Christina shares about her experience with capsular contracture and her openness in sharing her scars publicly. Don't forget to rate and review the show and if you want to enter for a prize for doing so, email a screenshot of your review to me at Subscribe on: - - Or watch on YouTube: Support my work by making a donation here: Join my Newsletter here: Resources from this Episode: Christina's interview with Transcript: Today's guest is Christina Miner from Our Scars...
info_outlineA Breast Cancer Diary with Kathleen Moss
My new friend and fellow podcaster, Tina Conrad, is this week's guest and I couldn't wait to hear how she did it. She maintained a high pressure job as a manager in a fast paced fashion corporation right through breast cancer treatment and recovery. She is truly a warrior woman and I'm so thrilled to tell her story here. Transcript: Kathleen: My guest today is Tina Conrad. She's a senior planner at Carhartt, as well as the host of DJ Breast Cancer, another podcast. And she lives in Leesburg, Florida. Her breast cancer was stage 3A. It was ER-PR positive and HER-2 negative. She had both...
info_outlineA Breast Cancer Diary with Kathleen Moss
This episode is an update from my personal story. I had a recurrence scare in November/Dec/January of 2024 and 2025, and this is the way it's sorting itself out. Always something to learn! --Kathleen Transcript: Welcome back to season two. Today's episode is episode three of this new season. And as promised last week, I will just be talking about my own story this week. I had a recent recurrence scare and I think it's resolving nicely. It's kind of an interesting non ending that I'm at right now. I really thought that it would be all understood by now, but it's still a little bit of...
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The topic of breast surgery and skin conserving surgery has been a real trigger for me in the past since my first plastic surgeon kept refusing to take the extra skin off of my chest as I requested. The fact that I could talk to Lisa about this without getting emotionally worked up was one good sign--and then I had two other chances to talk publicly about my flat denial story in the past month as well. When it rains it pours! Transcript: Happy New Year and welcome to season two of A Breast Cancer Diary podcast. Last week, I aired my first episode of season two with Lisa Sylvester,...
info_outlineA Breast Cancer Diary with Kathleen Moss
My instagram friend, Lisa, had a vision less than a year ago for a visual way to show the how the flat community has become a healing movement for women who don't want the usual reconstruction options post-mastectomy, and this week it is coming out into the breast cancer space as a work of art! I love that I can share the story of a vision come true and share it on the day before the end result comes into the world! Find Lisa's project on her website here: https://project-still.me/ Transcript: Kathleen: My guest today is Lisa Sylvester. She lives in Richmond,...
info_outlineA Breast Cancer Diary with Kathleen Moss
I'm jumping in here with a quick holiday tip in between seasons. I highly recommend "After Breast Cancer Diagnosis" if you're in need of a mentor... or if you're feeling ready to offer a mentoring ear to a newer patient. Find them at . Transcript: I'm checking in today in between seasons because it is the holidays, and the holidays can be a pretty stressful time of year on a normal year, and this being an election year, it's extra stressful for some of us. And I wanted to share a resource. I am not affiliated with this resource except for the fact that I found my mentor through...
info_outlineMy friend Danyel takes photos of breast cancer survivors in her studio on Hillsboro Oregon. In this episode she describes what that's been like, and she also talks about her recent diagnosis with stage four breast cancer.
Don't forget to rate and review the show and if you want to enter for a prize for doing so, email a screenshot of your review to me at [email protected]
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The facebook group that Danyel and I connect on is called Oregon Flatties
The Photo experience that we referred to is Warrior Women Portraits, in Hillsboro Oregon.
Transcript:
Today's guest is my dear friend, Danyel Rogers. Danyel lives just one town away from me, and she is the founder of Warrior Women Portraits, and she's kind of a local celebrity for it.
She was diagnosed with invasive ductal cancer in 2022, stage one, and she had four rounds of chemo after that diagnosis. And in July of 2024, just recently, she was re diagnosed again with stage four, and she has triple negative breast cancer, which is going to be the main topic of our discussion for the second half of today's conversation. Welcome, Danyel.
D:
Thank you so much for having me.
K:
I wanted to ask you, first off, it was kind of a perfect setup because last week's guest, Brenda, mentioned how much she loved her experience in your studio, in your photography studio. And so first off, I wanted to ask how you were inspired to create your project, Warrior Women Portraits.
Absolutely. I knew in the very beginning when I was diagnosed, even while I was going through treatment, I wanted to give back in the breast cancer world and really just kind of lift them up. Um, I knew it needed to be something unique, something that other photographers weren't actually, offering to the women that have been diagnosed with cancer. I just wanted something really powerful, not necessarily pretty, but powerful. Because we're, we're always, you know, when we get this diagnosis, we're drafted to war, you know, we don't have a say in it. It's not like, you know, we're just getting reconstruction just for the fun of it. And so, you know, we just have no choice other than to fight. To just do what we can to stay on this, this earth as long as we can. And I wanted the experience to kind of mimic that. As I was watching, fellow flatties at the, flat retreat that was in, that April. I really noticed the, the impact that a group of women had that just knew and understood. And so that's when I knew it needed to be a group session, um, so that they could lean on each other and just have fun and connect. And the more I thought about this, the more it just kind of, it just excited me because It could be people that are 20 years out that feel so much strength that they've beat this and, you know, they've really connected to other women that just need that extra, you know, pick me up of you are strong, you are, you know, resilient, and I love showcasing that. So I really wanted it to be, regardless of what stage type, you could be stage zero. I, and I don't even care if it's a breast cancer diagnosis, cancer's cancer in my opinion, then I just get to, you know, watch it all happen and unfold.
K:
Yeah. Yeah, I remember, I was one of your first victims and was so honored, so honored for it. And I was, I'm not a girly girl. I don't wear makeup except for a little lipstick now and then. And so I was just like, when I walked in, I was like, Oh, this is going to involve so much more than I realized. There's, there's makeup, there's weaponry. You have a whole arsenal. You have lots of jewelry. Uh, it was a really cool kind of almost like a playful activity that reminded me of, of being a child again, but in a more strong, strengthening kind of way. So, and, and I love that you're open to people who don't identify with the warrior image because there's a lot of survivors that don't, like me, who are pacifists maybe and don't want to take up the, the sword or….
D:
Yes, that's, and that was my big thing too, like, aside from the name being Warrior Women, if Goddess, or whatever, whatever, like, just a beautiful human being, like, it doesn't have to have a label either. Um, and I do, like, you do not have to pick up a weapon of any nature, like, it is there for you. Um, but I want to make sure that. Women understand that you can go as grungy or as minimal like you, or just, you know, do more ethereal kind of looks. And that's all part of the journey in the studio. And we, we, we just have fun and go in and out of what, um, our visions may look like idea boards and inspiration boards for different poses, but also for different facial makeup and hair and all the different things.
K:
So we don't have to, when we show up in your studio, we don't have to have an idea of what we want. Maybe we have a color idea or a theme idea, but no one has to arrive with lots of ideas that they get They get inspired by looking at your idea boards and vision boards coming off of off of your screen.
D:
And I'm a little, I mean, it's a little for me too because, know, chemo brain is a thing and trying to be like, Oh yeah, I wanted to do that pose, but I forgot. Um, but it's been honestly really helpful for everybody in the studio from the model to me to the person that is, waiting their turn because the person waiting their turn can take a look at some of these poses and like, “Oh, we're doing this staff.”
And so it kind of pulls the other person that isn't being photographed into the into the experience, so to speak. And that allows me to be able to stay behind the camera getting the shot and things like that.
So it's really cool because it makes the experience like we're all in it together. So like the next lady, when she's done, you know, we flip it and like, Oh, I wanted to do that, that so and so did and, you know, and then it just becomes really exciting and just kind of fluid, really.
K:
Oh, yeah. And it's nice. You know, when you're posing for a camera, it's super awkward socially. But if you have your own cheering section and in the margins, you know, like it makes it so much more relaxing and fun. fun and playful. And then you can really get into it and start to kind of ad lib in a way that you wouldn't if you didn't have someone kind of laughing with you and in the bleachers.
D:
The emotions are going to be there. You're going to be like, you're going to feel silly, right? Like, if I'm having you, like, scream or growl, like, that's not your normal, like, persona, right? Um, but it, I think it works. It's amazing. But then we get the laughter right after. To just be like, Oh my gosh, look at that natural smile you captured. Um, so there's all that, the component of getting the grungy and then usually there's the funny after as well. So, um, you get it all. Heh heh heh.
K:
You have a lot of furs and I really loved my portrait that came back with the furs. Um, because it made me feel a little more connected to the earth, the basic elements. I feel like with this cancer diagnosis, I became more in touch with my mortality in a way that I was okay with.
Like I was admitting that I, I came from the earth and I'm going to return to the earth. And so it's weird. Like I used to wear a lot of. I have purples and turquoises in my wardrobe, and these days, ever since I was diagnosed, I just want the earth tones. And I think it's because I do relate so much to that sense of mortality, that healthy sense of mortality, that everything passes and we have to let go. And the earth is just a reminder of that. So I really love that you had some of those really earthy costumes too.
D:
And I'm, I'm making even more. You should see our garage right now. I went and got a bunch of realistic looking flowers—a lot to like to put in there, but they're really even feel real. I want to make some crowns, right? Of like the flowers and doing more of like an ethereal...
K:
Like a fairy theme?
D:
Yeah, I don’t know, fairy doesn't even seem to be, something that is more, more grounded into wanting more nature versus, um, weapon.
K:
Mm hmm. Yeah, and the weapons are incredible. Like your, your husband made a bow that looks like a really rustic bow and it actually pulls, and he made it out of…?
D:
It's just PVC pipe, and he's been enjoying that kind of stuff because like he did the first bow, you know, just trying it out and then he tried a different way and it didn't work as well. So then he went back and did another bow. And the one that you have recently seen in the studio, he put the markings like more of like, um, Viking markings on the bow. And he was so, um, smart and thinking about what symbols actually were to be carved on there. Um, like if, if a woman did actually look up those symbols, it would be like bravery and strength and things like that. So even though it's really the small details of things like that, where we don't want, um, to make a weapon and then have the symbol be something really inappropriate. So we do those things as well. And, uh, made a scale mail, like armor thing that he made with a bunch of ring. I don't know how he did it, but it is beautiful and heavy and gorgeous.
K:
Ooh, I want to try that one on. I'm going, I'm going into the studio for my second, second portrait session here pretty soon, so I get to try some of these lovely things on.
D:
The things, I know. And I have to keep adding new things because it keeps me inspired well. Keeps me, keeps me like thinking outside the box. And um So, yeah, I'm super excited.
K:
Well, I wanted to ask you some of your more precious memories from the studio. If you have any kind of emotional moments or, or your first client that you had, uh, coming into the studio, do you have any special memories that you can share?
D:
You know, they're all really special. It's really amazing to see how the women act when they first come in to when they leave, and that's just all of the women to be honest, because they're so excited. They've gone through the process. Um, they haven't even seen their images yet, but they're so like in it.
But the ones that don't think they're going to get into it, and then they do, those are the ones that are like, Oh my gosh, this is so funny because they're, they're really timid and you know, and it's, it's a strength, right? So if someone is just kind of mousy, you have to kind of pull the mousiness out and, and, you know, give them a little more oomph behind their image. Um. And you can see in the roll of, I say the roll of film, right? The SD card as they go through their session, you can see their expressions become more natural. It's really magical to watch. Um. And then there's the ones that are just like in it, just they're like screaming and they're growling and, and those are fun too. I actually have to have, sometimes, uh, I've let all the people know there's a bunch of businesses up where my studio is. So I've had to warn them, we're going to be doing these, these sessions, and you might hear some screaming or grunting, but I promise you, I promise you, no one is being injured. Then we do a Zoom call and they get to see the images. And watching their face is probably my all time favorite because the excitement, the It's, I think because the women have a persona, they see themselves differently, you know, they don't see themselves as a mom or a friend or a wife, you know, they, you see the strength of just them as a human. I know it's really hard for us women, or just, you know, people in general, to see a picture of themselves and not try and pick it apart. Um, but I think in the, this scenario, they're a persona of themselves. Um, kind of like, you know, Beyonce would be like to a Sasha Fierce when she goes on stage, right? You have this persona.
K:
Yeah. That reminds me of a story you told me of a mother who talked about, um, her vision for her, her print that she was going to have printed of her photo.
D:
I think you're referring to when she was like explaining how empowering this image would be on a wall of a family with young children and You know, women aren't meant to be in that big, strong mentality you know, we're softer, we're more gentle, um, but we could do really hard things. And, um, I think it's really empowering for not just the person, but their family, you know, their, their partner to see what they, they see of their partner, right?
And they don't necessarily know how to explain that to them, that they see the strength. And now they have an image to be like, see, I've been telling you, you're really strong. But this image really kind of like encompasses it. But then if you have young children, you know, what is that saying to a young little girl, right, she can be strong. She can, she can do really hard things. And my mom did hard things that I can do hard things and, um, giving them permission to feel strong. then you have the other side of little boys, you know, who are able to see their mom in a, in a way that society may not necessarily show him, show them. and so I think it's, it. The imagery that comes out of it is so much bigger than me. So much bigger than the person that is being photographed almost. That, is really the legacy that I'm hoping to leave behind, like, I had a client, um, her husband just printed a whole gallery for her walls and, and gifted it to her for Valentine's Day and, the fact that they like their images that much to put so many on their wall for them to view on a daily basis. So, it's pretty awesome and yes, it is definitely my legacy. In my first phase of life of my legacy was raising my two kids and my stepdaughter, and now it's this, these warrior sessions. Facing mortality is a little bit easier to know that I'm affecting not just these women, but their families, their young kids, their friends, you know, a lot of times their friends will see these images and get really emotional because they too, it's like seeing an image of what they would actually, that they didn't realize was something that they needed to have and that of their best friend, so yeah.
K:
Yeah. Speaking of family, I have met one of your daughters down in San Francisco. Your daughter Brianna came and helped you transport your entire studio into a hotel room when there were a hundred of us flatties assembling just over a year ago for international flat day. And she was an amazing assistant to you as you kicked out like, like so many little mini a studio sessions, one after another, after another, like how many, like 25 women got their photos taken?
D:
it ended up being 21 in the end.
K:
Wow.
D:
21 over 2 days. Now normally I do 2 warriors a day. So, and that was, you know, so yeah. I definitely needed her help, her assistance. And she was so, like, it was such a proud mom moment. Um, watching her interact with all these women that I call friends. And, um, Um, and just really seeing her see the power in these women, um, cause I could really see it like she was, she was helping with makeup and, you know, kind of helping things move along so that we could get, you know, cause I wasn't going to have a lot of time to help them with makeup or hair or whatnot. And it was just, it was remarkable to see her interact with people and people coming up to me and telling me how amazing she was. you know, those are, those are words that a mom always wants to
K:
Yeah. Oh, and she was there every step of the way all through our whole like parade and walking across the Golden Gate Bridge and celebrating afterwards. She was right there with you and supporting you. I just love that you have that memory of that whole two days, three days spent with her so intimately partnering with you on your life's passion.
D:
And it was, it was really interesting. Um, flat day is actually on my other daughter's birthday. Um, so it was the day that we walked across the Golden Gate Bridge with my daughter Brianna was very emotional because it too was also my, my youngest daughter's birthday, but as we were walking past, and so it was just like all these emotions, but positive and like, God, that was a magical wasn't it? That Golden Gate Bridge, I just had tears running down my eyes and I'm not like a big crier but when, people are driving by honking their horns in support and in solidarity to us as we walk across. It was just, sorry, I know I digress but it was such a magical moment.
K:
No, it was. There'll be never be anything else like it. I think it was also, I think for both of us, you know, some of our first memories of solidarity and the flat community.
D:
Yes, amazing. And then knowing that I shared it with my daughter, um, the only thing that could have made it any better was having my other one next to me as well, which she was in memory.
K:
Well I want to transition now and talk a little bit about your special diagnosis? I've talked about triple negative and interviewed a couple other gals that have had triple negative diagnoses, and it feels so much different, but it's not always different if you capture all of the cancer in surgery in the first place.
It doesn't have to be, you know, such a scary diagnosis, but in your case. Um, unlike Marquita, my first guest that talked about triple negative, in your case, all the cancer cells were not captured and you did end up having not just recurrence, but serious stage four cancer cells traveling throughout your body.
K:
So what do you want people to know about your experience of triple negative?
D:
I try not to be super scary, but it, it, it is. Lot of, um, hormone positive, cancer cells are grade one, which means they don't replicate super fast. Um, triple negative is almost always grade three, which means it duplicates at a rapid phase. . And that's and that's where the big problem lies, right? On top of not knowing what is feeding it. And so you just kind of like, you're chucking darts at a, at a dartboard hoping something sticks.
So I tried really hard to go aggressive in the very beginning, when I was stage one. and because knowing triple negative does have, supercells and, um, so I went aggressive, you know, my doctors had offered a lumpectomy with some radiation and I was like, no, I want a double mastectomy, no reconstruction, let's get chemo and like, I was like, this is just, we're doing all the things you know, we're fighting it and you know, we named my cancer Toby because I didn't want it to be, like me, who I am. Um, so that's kind of a tip that I highly recommend naming your cancer or somehow like making it less you.
K:
Right. Separating it.
D:
That way, you have something to fight, right? You're not fighting yourself, you're fighting, you know, the cancer itself. Um, but anyhow, in 20, at the very end of 2023, I was getting really kind of raspy in my voice. And one of the components of going, becoming metastatic is a lot of times it'll go in your, um, Help me out, Kathleen.
K:
Oh, your thyroid?
D:
Thyroid, thyroid, thank you. Um, which, if it goes to your thyroid, a lot of change your voice or things like that because it's around your esophagus. So we did a bunch of testing. I mean, we went and we did an ultrasound of my thyroid. I saw two different ENTs, they scoped my nose, and then all the way down to my vocal cords.
K:
Wow.
D:
And then at the beginning of 2024, my oncologist was like, let's just do a big scan, what we're working with, and if there's anything, we'll, we'll tackle it. So we did an MRI and CT, um, of pretty much my chest wall, abdomen. And then head to toe bone scan. Everything went fine in February. And there was one spot on my rib that looked, had been there all along, um, looked like a past injury of that nature. Um, it was stable. But my doctor was like in six months, let's re-scan just to make sure there's been no change. And, uh, went in for my three month follow up. Everything was fine. Then I, then I was at the six month point, time to do all the scans and, um, that's when we found out that I was, I had become metastatic and, um, so all the lymph nodes around my neck now were consumed, .
So I was sounding like a chain smoker at this point, um, and then it was also in both of my lungs. So, at that point I became metastatic. Going into that scan, I had the most overwhelming feeling of dread going in and all the other scans. I never really felt that way. And then most recently, Got more scans and now it's also in my liver and a pretty significant, um, one in my brain that I just found out a couple of days ago. Yay. Um, I always find it's, I either laugh or I cry. laughter is kind of a mask to be honest,
like, there's just all this stuff happening, you know, your worst fears.
K:
It seems like you're on a fast track compared to other stage four patients that have more of a long term time to get used to things and ease into their meds and, but you're, it's very different for you. Talk about your meds now.
D:
Originally in 2022, I did taxotere. That was four rounds of taxotere and then neulasta shots the day after, um, to improve white blood cell count. and then that was just my, that was my treatment besides my double mastectomy, the first go around
K:
A monotherapy the first time—just one form of chemo?
D:
Yeah, the only reason why they did just the one was because there was no cancer in the lymph node. And so we were pretty confident that it had not gone lymphatic and, um, was pretty contained, but we still did , taxotere. And so when I became metastatic, we did taxol, um, And I wanted to know, like, on average, what am I looking at? Now, I know this is an average. I know this is not set in stone, but it kind of gives me an idea of, on average, Her patients. What does she see? And she had said that the first round of taxol, um, this go around was probably last six to eight months… and I got to five. So now we're switching. I'm going to trodelvie. Um, so I'm, I'm really curious to see how I, how Toby responds. You know, it's a longer day, it's a longer infusion, um, so once you have progression, um, that's when they, either they, they stop you on your line of treatment. If it stops working with the tumor or your quality of life is no longer there, like you just tap out. There is no cure at this point. This is more of just fighting as much as I can for as long as I can to give me as much life as I can. Um, and that, that is a big component to wrap your head around.
And so, you know, we're looking at my day to day life much differently, you know, , even just over the, this past weekend, we were going to go to the light festival. We had the snowstorm and I was laying, sitting on the couch going, Do I really want to go? Nobody's meeting me there. I could totally skip it. No one would even know. And then I'm like, no, I don't know if I'm going to have the opportunity to do this again.
So let's do it. And it was, it was a fun day, but that's kind of where I'm living is trying to put at least something into it that I can make a memory for. Um, so basically 2025, my motto, my resolution, whatever you want to call it, is just living intentionally. And so that's kind of how I'm moving forward.
You know, every month I'm pre determining what I want to do for the month. There's a lot less of, “oh, I'll do it next time.” Because I don't know if next time is actually an option. So that makes it a little more exciting as well to know that, like, you know, I can share that with family and friends and stuff like that, including you. So, you just have to take it day to time and stop looking at the past and not look too far in the future so that you're, you know, just kind of living in the present.
K:
And I know that you recently quit your other main job, your full time job. Are your family members also able to carve out some extra time from their livelihoods right now?
D:
Yeah, yeah. It's really beneficial. My, my parents are retired so they can kind of help wherever need be. Um, Mike works from home. He has a job that he'll be working, for the next few months, but he's working from home. So, the infusions are like 20 minutes away. So if we just have a doctor's appointment and he's very can come with me. Um, And so it's, yeah, so it's been kind of nice to just be able to have some time with all of them and then, you know, we try and plan stuff on the evenings and weekends. Weekends are a little bit easier for, you know, the masses that are working. But yeah, that's a good thing about social media and texts and things like that. You can stay pretty connected amongst your, your peoples pretty easily, um, when you need it.
K:
Yes, to tell people exactly what's going on with your treatment. It is so reassuring as one of your friends to not be in the dark, but to be seeing your faces and seeing all the emotions on your faces. So thank you for that. Yeah. Oh, how did you and Mike come up with that as a plan?
D:
I don't want to say laziness, but like, just, you know, uh, we just have so many people that really care about us and want updates and being a photographer and, you know, it was just like, we need to update everybody. I felt it really important to just be able to tell it once, um, because of the fact that I am on such a short timeframe. I didn't want to have to constantly be updating, you know, this pocket of friends, this pocket of friends, this family member.
K:
Oh, it's exhausting!
D:
It’s just this on YouTube, post it on social. Anybody can share it so it's just been really beneficial for me to and Mike too, just to share it once and also documenting,
K:
I wanted to ask you Before we go, about your plans for your celebration of life, because I love that you're being so intentional about planning for your last days, and just so brave. I'm so proud of you in that way. Can you share a little bit about what you have planned?
D:
Yeah, I, I'm, So before I was even diagnosed originally. Um, I, I specifically remember going through this. I think we were going to the beach and Mike and I were, you know, just. Talking and I know I got into this really weird space of thinking about my death again before I even knew I had breast cancer and it was just like had this overwhelming panic feeling that no one would show up to my funeral. Like, I'm like, well, what if they're busy? And what if they like, you know, and they're, and, and I got like really emotional, and then I got my cancer diagnosis and we were just all in the thick of it. And, um, even during my first active treatment rounds, I really wasn't thinking too much about mean, I was thinking a little bit more about mortality, but I felt like there was an end—there was an end to my treatment. But when I became metastatic, um, mortality became a very big reality. Like, a very big reality. Feel like I have the benefit of knowing that I'm going to die sooner than later. And a celebration of life before I'm gone sounds so magical for myself, for the people that have those experiences with me.
Being able to just share one last time how much that day meant or whatever comes up, um, so I feel like it. A celebration of life before you're dead is really beneficial for you and the family that you're leaving behind because once you are gone, you know, all these people can lean on each other. Um, and maybe, maybe even, you know, after the fact, some closure that maybe needed something you know, why not get closure before they're gone? I don't know what that looks like. I'm a little panicked that I'm fast tracking to that end. Um, just with my most recent scans. It's hard not to think about but, uh, I have a great support system and, um, the intentional living is really helping, because I'm not wasting my final days.
K:
Yeah, when I've thought about your plan to have the end of life celebration before you die, I think it's also really great for your, your partner, for Mike, because when you witness a funeral and that person is then alone, they're wishing that you could have seen. How loved and valued you were and and the funeral.
They get to see it, but they're always wishing that you could have seen it. So I love that, that you at least have the power and the control over when you're celebrating your life. And I love that we will be able to dress up with abandon and makeup and do our hair up because you're the, the makeup and dress up queen, right? And just be playful with you and shower you with bubbles and love and hugs and so that you know just how special you are.
D:
that's definitely been a really hard thing because my, I, I take care of people like that is just, I'm, I'm always mom, you know, and, um, having people take care of me has been kind of a, a new thing that I've had to get used to. Um, but it's, been good to just see all the people that have stepped up for me and in small ways and in big ways. And, um, I've definitely felt very, very loved. Um, so yeah.
K:
Well, if you need someone to help you plan that future event so that you can stay in the present, then just lean on me and ask me to, to do that.
D:
I picture this as like Burning Man meets, you know, just, just a fun day of celebrating and then, you know, also having just all my people around. Uh, I kind of, I've had a few, um. gatherings. I had a 50th birthday party in December and then when I was first diagnosed, we rented a big lake house and had my family and friends that were really close when I was first diagnosed. All kind of stay under one or one roof and we had the weekend and you know, had fires outside and we, you know, did all kinds of things. And my happy place was actually Standing on top of the landing, looking down at my family and friends, just being together and Coexisting and just watching the magic happen is so beautiful to me to watch.
And, you know, even this, um, earlier this year I went to, um, Depo Bay and I had, um, Jenn Boom and, um, my best friend, who is Ani, and we all met for, um, the King Tides, and Brianna met us too, so it was like all this, but it was like taking, you know, my best friend and then one of my flatties, and you're like, okay, well, will they, will they commingle, right? But like the whole time I probably took like six different pictures and six different times that they were just in this conversation, like just chatting, chatting together without me. It was so beautiful to watch. Like I saw him in the kitchen having munchies and I was just like… I don't know what that is, but that's my happy place is just watching people from all avenues of my life to just kind of connect and, uh, it's, it, yeah, it's just, it's interesting the things that you find heartfelt. I’m soaking them all in.
K:
I'm so honored that you decided to come on and be interviewed today in this super, super vulnerable time of your life and so, so grateful to be in this with you. Um, I want others to know about how to sign up, especially those in the Northwest, but even people who are willing to fly in, I can, I can help arrange accommodations if necessary. Um, so I know that your first available studio appointments are the 17th and 18th of May, and then you've got, um, some on the 7th and 8th of June, I think?
D:
Yep. So everything that is available, um, for my schedule is out on WarriorWomenPortraits. com.
There is some other videos of women that I have photographed that I've interviewed as well on there,
Just find whatever day works best for you if you want to, um, there is a minimal space in the studio, so I try and keep it all the people that are either being photographed or, um, my one person that I tend to have to do behind the scenes or assistant like you do every once in a while. So I try and, um, not allow guests to bring friends just because we are on limited space you know, I'll be your friend for the day. And you might make some new ones along the way.
But yeah, I take care of everybody in the studio. They just literally need to show up. I have not had anybody say that they have regretted making the time to do it. So it's just a day of dress up and, um, it is 90 to sign up—really just kind of to help cover a lot of the makeup costs and things like that. And that includes one image.
So, um, basically for 90, you get the full day experience and one image to take away from the session.
I wanted to make sure that this was in a reasonable price point that if people didn't have the funds to do any more than just one image, they at least walked away with one image. That really, really was important to me.
K:
Oh, thanks Danyel.
D:
Of course. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate you
K:
I'll see you soon.