Fashion Model Gone Flat: Christine Handy

My friend Christine joins me on this week's podcast to tell her story of explant and continued success as a model after her second "mastectomy," going flat and embracing her concave chest publicly on the runway. Her new biopic is coming out on April first in LA and she's invited us breast cancer survivors to come. Shoot me an email to find out how.

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We spoke about Christine's new film premiering on April first. Here's the Preview!

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The organization that Christine and I know each other through is Stand Tall AFC

Transcript:

My guest today is my friend, Christine Handy. She is a breast cancer disruptor and a fashion model living in Miami, Florida, and now she's a film producer—just recently. Her breast cancer diagnosis was hormone positive lobular breast cancer. And she started out with implants, and that's really what I want to ask her about first today is the journey of the implants and what that story looked like for you as a model, as a fashion model.

How did that disrupt your life?

C:

Well, I think originally breast cancer disrupted my job. That was in fact, I really wasn't planning on going back to modeling until I had implants for seven years and I really did love them, but they did not love me. And so seven years into it, I would say to my oncologist after my treatment, “Why am I still so foggy? Why do I still have joint pain? Why do I still feel this? Why do I have all these questions?” Because they were pinpointing the longitude of these symptoms on the amount of chemo I had, instead of looking at the fact that I had implants. And so I never thought that it was the implants until ultimately I had a MRSA infection in the implant and they were excavated. In an emergency situation, because I almost died the night that they were excavated, I had 104 fever and, um, it was, it had not gone into my organs, thank God, but MRSA is very dangerous. And so when I was, after I lost my implants and I woke up, it was during COVID and there was nobody allowed in the hospital.

So I woke up from surgery not knowing what I was going into like they didn't say “you're gonna wake up with a concave chest.” They just were “sign this form that says you're having number three and number four mastectomy,” which was its own trauma and I was like, “I can't be having mastectomies already had mastectomies in 2012 when I had breast cancer” and they were like, “just sign it it's for insurance reasons.” And I woke up in the hospital alone in the recovery room and there was so much grotesque pain and I reached to the middle of my sternum where there was grotesque swelling and I could tell that the swelling was in the middle of my chest and I kind of moved my hands to the left and to the right and there was empty space. And I thought, “I have no idea how to respond to this. I have no idea what the future of my chest is going to look like.” And that was frightening. And about three weeks after I was in the doctor's office, and he said, “you know, there's no chance of reconstruction. Because you've had so many surgeries on your chest, you have very little skin.”

We had to take skin because the infection, you know, got into your skin. And that was, that was it. The game over. It wasn't like I knew that aesthetic flat closure existed because I didn't, nobody ever told me that existed. It wasn't a choice. Whether I would have made a different choice or not, I don't know, I can tell you that from a health perspective if I had known the risks of implants if I had known That multiple surgeries and reconstructions took so much time away from my life and my family Then of course, I would have chosen a healthier path And so it was then that I said to myself if I feel this I have this amount of emotional pain and I have a solid self esteem, I have a solid foundation and faith. How do these women that don't have a massive team like I do of women championing for them, have a solid self esteem, which many of us don't, and I can talk about it freely because I used to not. And maybe not have a foundation that I feel is unflappable, which is my faith. What do people, how do they get through this? And that was when I thought to myself, I have to go back to modeling. I have to get into New York fashion week and model on a bigger stage. I need to go to Miami swim week and model in a bathing suit. I need to go to package this up to major brands. And ultimately I did it. It was not without a lot of closed doors. But we opened a lot of the—my manager—and the reason was so that I could say to women my beauty was not dissected because my chest was excavated. My beauty is whole because I know who I am and my foundation is my self esteem and my faith. No one can take that away from me. It has nothing to do with the external. And if I could show that, then maybe other women could heal and see that as well.

K:

Yeah. Yeah. I just saw it because I follow you on Instagram and I love the content that you share. I just saw an interview that you gave recently and you were telling the interviewer for a news show, I think it was, that you were brave to model. That other women in these situations can be brave and not just brave, but you model self love and self celebration.

You're celebrating your new body and you're doing that to show others that they can do that. And that's so much the kernel of truth that I feel was what happened to me. personally when I, after I was flat and had some confusion about what I should think about this new body. And then, you know, becoming a part of the flat community, people shared what was possible and modeled what was possible.

And so I just thank you so much for doing that in such a much bigger scale and on such a much bigger stage. Um, I want to go back and talk about what it was like to model with implants. So like, was that awkward? How long did it take you to get used to just having implants, having, you know, appearing breasted in the modeling? I don't know if it was photography or if it was runway at that point?

C:

Photography. Yeah. Um, you know, a lot of models have implants and that was, I, I never did, which was kind of odd. I felt like I was maybe the oddball out. And so it felt very ok and normal and natural, like, Oh, well, I'm now I'm just part of that club. know, everybody did it in their twenties or even earlier. So I'm just, I felt very safe and comfortable.

And I also, you know, part of the reason why I felt comfortable on implants was because I had, you know, kind of a bigger chest when high school and then had some eating issues with my modeling career. And then they were kind of smaller and I didn't always love my chest, to be honest with you. And then I was like, Oh, these implants. I wish I got a small size of implant. I didn't go like big and I was like, these just don't move. They're perfect. They just sit there and you know, I, I didn't mind them, you know?

K:

Okay. So they weren't lopsided. You didn't get any capsular contracture or hardening of the, the scar tissue around them. It wasn't awkward. Okay. So, and you did have a similar breast size to what you were used to then.

C:

They were just fluffier and they weren't sagging.

K:

Was it easier then that you didn't have nipples or did you?

C:

So my breast cancer was right underneath my left nipple. And so I didn't have nipples. I did have some sort of tattooing, but the tattooing didn't really work on my skin and I scar really well. So it, it was okay for me. Yeah, I felt okay with it all. I, again, I never knew. I just thought that's what people did. They had breast cancer. They got implants. I didn't know any different.

K:

You did swimsuit modeling still, right? So in some ways without nipples, it almost would be a little less awkward physically maybe to do swimsuit modeling.

C:

People would say that to me. They'd be like, well, you know, you, you don't need nipple covers. And I thought, okay.

K:

Yeah. Okay. So you were pretty at peace with the implants until you realized that they were maybe Part of the problem of some of the symptoms you were having?

C:

No, they were the problem. They were a major problem.

K:

So you you realized that before surgery then like you knew that was the solution? Okay.

C:

Absolutely. It just was, it didn't, none of it made sense that I was seven years after chemo, still having all of that, those other symptoms, which weren't congruent with somebody seven years out having that. And, and they said, well, maybe it was the tamoxifen and it just wasn't, it wasn't symptomatic of the tamoxifen. And so none of it was making sense and I was kind of frustrated. then it was like the implants went haywire and I was like, it totally made sense. It totally made sense. Why are we just figuring this out now? I was so frustrated.

K:

What were the main symptoms that bothered you?

I mean, I had really bad kind of a fog, a brain fog, and I had joint pain, which was debilitating. I had inflammation. I just would wake up every day, not sure of How I was going to feel, I never felt good ever. And then the implants came out and I had that excavation. And after the grotesque physical pain went away of that, that surgery, I felt different, like very different right away.

K:
And then after you went flat how much healing had you gone through before you had this epiphany of “wait. No, I need to get back out there, I need to go to work with this body” or did you wear prosthetics for a little while? Like how did that develop?

C:

Never, I never owned a prosthetic. I had a prescription for one. I literally looked at it. It was like, I'm never filling this. I never once put a cup on. I never once put a bra on again. Never.

K:

Why do you think you didn't?

C:

Because I think I had such a solid foundation with my self esteem and such a solid foundation with my faith that I was like, Okay, well this is now my job to use this pain like I was so used to using my pain for purpose, like, “okay now I've got this job now.”

I have to use this to help other people. How can I do that? Well, I've been a more a model for 40 years Duh, how I have to do this. so it was so It it made so much sense I would go back into the modeling agency and also the modeling world. And it's funny because, and I have a post about this today—how there's so many doors that can be closed, but if you keep going, another one will open.

And so often people quit in the middle. I first was concave and I went to my modeling agency that I'd worked with for years and said, I'm going to come back to work. They were like, okay, great. then I went in and they said, yeah, we don't think so. it was no, and it wasn't, I didn't take it personally. Like if we can remember that none of this is personal, they just didn't, didn't have my vision. And so I was like, okay. So I called my manager and I said, I need to get back into modeling. I'd like to start doing runway. And she was kind of like, okay, but she's a, she's a champion for me. And so she got me into some runway in just to see the shows, to go attend the shows, and then I would walk up to the designers and say, my name is Christine Handy. I'm a long time model. I had breast cancer. I have a concave chest. I'd like to work with you. I'd like to walk in your show. We can help a lot of women. And people said, yes. And then ironically, after I partnered with, well, I did various designers in New York fashion week. I did Miami swim week. And I did a partnership with Victoria's Secret.

And then I got this modeling job that approached me and said, we want to sign you. And I thought, isn't that interesting that it's not the same one that I'd worked for, but how that door was shut because this modeling agency was coming in and a much bigger agency, a much bigger platform. So that's a good lesson of just wait, be patient, keep going.

K:

So I know in your like 20s and 30s you did like The Gap and J. Crew and a lot of like fashion magazine modeling. And it sounds like when you came back, you eased your way in more through runway, like live modeling. What do you like better? Do you enjoy one over the other?

C:

Um, you know, I felt, I feel very at home in front of a camera because I started when I was 11 years old that's just kind of what I did. And so when you have a job that, that spans decades, you're pretty, usually pretty comfortable in that space. so when I did runway, it was a little bit uneasy for me. Because it's, you're really, you're kind of in front of, you're meaning you're in front of cameras, but you're in front of a live audience. I'd never done runway before so it just took me about a month before New York fashion week, before the first time I did it, and I would practice every day cause I didn't know how to walk in a runway. And I wore really high heels because you never know what kind of heel they're going to put you in. And I needed my calves to be able to handle whatever slingback shoe they were going to put on and maybe not stable. I worked out in those heels. I went to the grocery store in those heels. I walked on the boardwalk in those heels.

I wore those heels 12 hours a day. Because I wanted to make sure I was, know, going back into the modeling space, doing something completely different, but it was my job show up like I had been doing it for decades. And so I had to train my body how to do it. And once I did it once in New York fashion week, I was like, okay, I got this. I can do this. Then I went to Swim Week in a bathing suit with a concave chest and I was 51 years old.

K:

And no regrets?

C:

God, I loved it. I mean you could, if you read the messages that I got from people all over the world, you would be so glad that you had that moment. Next to my, where I got out of bed one day, I was like, I got to go back to modeling. And it was just that fleeting moment. And I could have just said to myself, “you know what? You don't have to do that. It's you've got other projects and why put that on you? You're not a runway model.” There's so many reasons why I could have just said, nah, but I thought this came from somewhere. This, this spark came from somewhere I have to follow through. And, and by the way, if. If the doors, other doors didn't open.

If I didn't get New York fashion week, I didn't get Miami swim week and I didn't get big brands. I would have been like, okay, I tried and it wasn't meant for me. So I'm going to go down a different path, but it was meant to happen.

K:

And now in your 50s, you've got regular modeling gigs still, or do you just do the fashion weeks now?

C:

No, no, I turn them down. I've turned jobs down all the time because I'm so busy with the film and I'm so busy with other things. And so I, will I go once the film is launched, will I go back to more modeling? Maybe I think that, you know, I've done a lot of speaking recently internationally, and I think that my heart. Is kind of going in the direction of being in front of a stage in front of people. And so I think once the movie is launched and settled, I think I'll go, I'll start more speaking.

K:

Okay. I want to talk about the film, but one more question about your modeling career. I'm really curious to hear now that we have these dove commercials that are setting new standards for body positivity. We have shapely models now all over the place, and we now have some breastless and Uni models, uni-boob models. Are you getting people knocking your door down? Like, is there more demand? Like if you didn't have the film would there be more demand that you then you could handle because now we have a new standard In the beauty industry.

C:

Yes, I think for sure. I, you know, looking back on my modeling career, when I was at the height of my career, maybe at 21, 22, there was nobody doing this and there was not, there wasn't different body types. There was one, but that was 30 years ago. And so the change has been significant, but it takes people a lot of courage to make those changes and they would have never, no, none of those big brands would have partnered with me had there not been a shift already. Nobody would have said yes to New York fashion week for somebody my age with my body type. If the change had not started a while ago. And the only thing that I could do is try to, you know, permeate more change within the industry. And I, I'm, I'm certain I have, you know, showing up with a lot of courage and, and I love talking about courage because so often I don't wake up with courage every day. None of us do. But if we can see somebody with great courage and we can borrow their courage, maybe that gets us to the next day when we have our own courage. So by me modeling flat, if that gives somebody courage, then I'm lending that courage. So that's that person can then use that until they get their own courage. And that's why I think women championing for each other and elevating each other. We all rise together. There is no competition. There's no ceiling to how much we can help people. when we do it collaboratively and collectively, we all rise together.

K:

Yeah that's the quote I was reaching for. “You can borrow my courage.” Thank you. We've all borrowed your courage at this point, um, and I think on Instagram as much as in the public sphere. So thank you for that. Who do you give credit to for the beginning of this change that's happened for body acceptance and in the industry?

Do you see where it started or can you give credit to someone before yourself?

C:

You know, I, I think it started with the... I don't know what the right, it's so hard these days to be politically correct on what language to use, but the plus size model was the first to change it. they were the renegades and I give a lot of credit to them. And then it was these other subgroups, um, that came after that. So I think they started it. Yeah.

K:

Okay, so the women themselves, not, not the industry starting it, but the women pushing for it?

C:

I think the plus size models did, had an enormous impact on the modeling industry and on the fashion industry and on marketing, the marketing industry. I, yeah, they did an amazing job and, and I think they, they paved the way for other people like myself to come in and go, okay, well, what about this subgroup?

K:

All right. Well, when I first met you, maybe a couple of years ago, year and a half, two years ago, you gave me your book, uh, you sent it to me in E format and I read it right away and I was so amazed. I loved it. It's called Hello Beautiful… And it's. Oh, Walk Beside Me, right. Sorry, the film is called Hello Beautiful.

Walk Beside Me was your book, and Walk Beside Me was, I feel like it was part one of your story, and maybe Hello Beautiful is, is picking up where it left off, because it's, they're pretty different, I think, but what I remember about your book, and it's been a while since I've read it, but is your community of women friends that you didn't even realize the power of. They held you up in times of deep, desperate weakness. Um, you had a health, a major health struggle before you even had breast cancer, um, lots of pain, lots of physical pain. and working and fighting through that. And you tried to do it alone, and you insisted on doing it alone for a while. And then you realized you needed help.

And the book and the story is such a beautiful example of relying on your friends, your women friends, and specifically for you, friends with a deep sense of faith in a Creator-God, you know, the God of the Western religions. You really transformed through that story, and you showed yourself to be a different person at the end of it, um, and of course, none of us knows what this new film is really going to tell us, because it hasn't come out yet, and we've only seen a couple minutes in the preview, but I'm gathering that this has a little bit more to do with your family relationships and maybe when you wrote the book, you weren't as comfortable writing about something so tender in that moment and addressing the family relationships. I'm excited to hear more about the family dynamics, but tell us like where, where do these two stories overlap? Is there some overlap between the book and the film and where does the film start?

C:

It's funny that you say that nobody's ever asked that question that way. And I've been interviewed hundreds and hundreds of times, and I love that you just said that the book is a total 180 transformation. I talk very openly about the things that aren't very flattering about my life. And I do that because I think it's so important we negate the social media, um, this perpetual, like, highlight reel that goes on in social media.

I can't stand it. It's not fair. It's teaching our young women that they're not good enough. And if I wrote a book about my friends and how they showed up for me because there was some lack at home how oh great my life was because they brought me food every day and they showed up every day and they brought me gifts and they celebrated my birthday and they were there constantly and they taught me about God and that's a portion of my life.

But there was this other portion where I was like getting rid of all the false idols that I had depended on for so long that weren't—they're not what I should have been focusing on. You know, I was more concerned about going to a workout class than a Bible study. I was more concerned about the Prada bag because of the label. Then I couldn't carry it because of my arm was fused. It was all these things that were being like my beautiful hair that I had coveted for so long that was kind of part of my identity in the modeling world. It was taken, it was gone. So it was surgery after surgery, after illness, after illness. I first had my colon. Third of my colon removed and then my arm and then breast cancer. And so it was like this, this pressure cooker that I was in and my friends, they were the ones that first taught me about courage. They were the ones that stepped up and said, we will be your guiding light.

We'll be your courage. And so the book is about that transformation and it ends, the book ends with a chapter that you really don't know where she is. Like you don't know where she's going. It ends with a kid on the beach playing a guitar and she's in, it's kind of broken the guitar and she's like, “yeah, that was me. I was kind of broken, but my angels were nearby.” And then the, then the book ends.

Well, the book was published in 2017. After that in 2020 was when my chest was excavated with the implants. So that's doesn't even, that's not in the book cause it didn't happen. So we took a part of the book that was breast cancer related and didn't bring in the arm and didn't bring in the colon cause it was confusing on screen.

So when they were writing the screenplay, they were like, we have to have one illness. And we can't have 30 friends, we can't, there's no capacity on a film to have that many. So let's pick a certain amount of friends and put the different characters within these friendships. so that's part of the shift in the film. And then you have to have, part of the reason why we show a family dynamic is because not just the patient that goes through the disease, the family goes through the disease. And how not fair would it be for me to show that there's this perfect life at home, me going through this disease and everybody showing up for me and my family, when that's typically not true. Like, I want to make sure everybody's included in this film. And then show that the concave chest, because that now existed in my life. I didn't want to show implants, for sure didn't want to show implants. I would, I was never going to promote that.

And so we had this element of now we were, we're going to show that. And we, we couldn't, we made the decision in the end to really show it because I thought we can talk about it, but it's never been shown in film and what an impact that would have if we actually showed it. so I think that's going to make a big splash in the world.

So we were trying to figure out all the elements that would help the most amount of people. That's really where we took bits and pieces of the, of the book and then added bits and pieces of my, my life. Now I will tell you that I did go through a divorce. We do not show that in film. The couple is a beautiful, you know, it's maybe it's a, maybe it's a, uh, a prayer of what I’d want—this isn't what I want my future to look like. I want this type of beautiful relationship. And by the way, in the film, It's very tumultuous. It's a roller coaster. Like a lot of people go through, you know, disease affects everybody in the family. And so I hope that that's a long way to answer your question.

K:

No, that's exactly what I was wondering. And I know you have two sons, right? So how, how are they dealing with this, this film? Is it making it, them nervous? Do they feel like they're gonna be represented in the wrong way? Or is it because you put a daughter in the film to kind of take it away? Maybe, I'm guessing it's taking the attention away from them.

How does that work for them?

C:

For sure. The situations that the daughter goes through are, are the, they're very different than what my sons went through because she's a daughter and I can't, I'm not going to give away why, but when you see her situation, it'll be like, duh, that makes sense. She's a girl.

They're boys. we made it very clearly. This is not what the issue was at home, but there in the book, it obviously hints that there was issues at home and, and so I, they've never seen the movie. I see it all the time. My parents have seen it. They haven't really been wanting to see, but they'll be at the premiere. You'll meet them. They're brave kids. And by the way, they had a sick mom for a very long time. they went through their own hell and changes because of their sick mom. I didn't have a sick mom, so I can never judge how they behaved. And by the way, fear translates into anger. When you're afraid, people typically get mad.

And that's a reaction. My kids were afraid I was going to die. And so they didn't want to get close to me. And that's a normal psychological reaction. Although it was hard for me to have some distance within my own family. It wasn't out of the ordinary.

That's so interesting for you to say that because I've just been getting closer to my daughter again for the first time after my Diagnosis. So, yeah. I think again, all of these things are so worthy of talking about and so often they're misunderstood or not talked about. So if we can put a film out there that talks about these tough issues, again, not flattering but truthful, that helps a family.

K:

Yeah. I know you can't see through to their hearts, but do you feel like your faith has translated into their lives, the boys?

C:

I do. And I think I, I think what I taught them early on in their life was wrong. I taught them to covet things like I did, and I'm trying to change that in their life. And I think by being a service in the world, they see that now versus self serving, which I used to do. You know, what can I get out of something versus how can I give? And I've done this for a long time now since 2012. So I think it's, I think it's shifting in their minds. I do it for them too. You know, I want to leave a different imprint on their life.

K:

Yeah. So what are you most proud of about this movie?

C:

You know, when I was going through breast cancer, I sought out film and TV because I had no idea what I was about to go through. I knew I was going through chemo, but I didn't know how to even wrap my brain around it. And as you know, when you're diagnosed with an illness, are inundated with medical information to ad nauseam.

You can't even hear it. At least I couldn't, and when I sought out films, I sought out films about cancer because I wanted to see how they were displayed on, on, in media and also in, you know, with, in narratives and stories. And in 2012, there was no Instagram, there was no Facebook. And so I wasn't looking at Facebook groups to talk and chat that didn't exist. So a lot of people like myself, we looked at film. And I was disappointed in what I was seeing there's a diagnosis and there's a funeral and there's not much in between and I was like, “I'm going to die. I, I, I don't know why I feel so much hope. I don't know why my friends are saying that I'm going to live. I'm going to die.” And that, that, that scared me that there was so much media film about that. That ending, that type of ending in 1970, 80 percent of breast cancer patients died and 20 percent survived. That's flip flopped.

80 percent survive and 20 percent don't. Why are we, why are these the same films we're watching?
Why is this the same ending? I felt righteous anger about it.


And I said to myself, if I can ever write this book, I'm not a writer, so who knew . If I can make this book into a film. That would be a dream of mine to change the narrative in film on cancer. And so it's been since literally 2013 where I've had this idea in my head like, What if I can change that?

What if I can put a movie out there that ends in hope and ends in survival? Wouldn't that give people hope? And so that's the whole reason for me, for the film. And again, then there were these other additions that we put into like, Oh, what if we put in the concave chest? Or what if we put in the family relationship?

What do we, so there was always these things that we could add to help, you know, people feel seen and heard. And, and also that you'll see in the film, we show like the depth of pain of chemo. I almost died during chemo. we don't mask that. We're not trying to put a fluffy Disney movie out there. We're trying to show so that people are like, I, I, that's how I felt.

That's what, that's what happened to me. That's how sick I was. And nobody knows it because I was hiding in my bathroom I don't want people to feel that way. I don't want them to feel alone hiding in their bathroom. when my, my father saw this film, which he was really against it, he was like, you don't want to put your life that far out there, you just don't want to do this, trust me, and I was like, I'm doing this when he saw the film, he wept. And he said, I had no idea the pain you went through I'm sorry. I was like, that's the point because nobody sees this side of it. And so I'm not putting it out there as like, Oh, a poor pity party. I want people to see themselves and go, finally, somebody's saying it and showing it. This is what I went through.

K:

It sounds like you had a lot of creative input into the film.

C:

Um, I, I worked really well with a director. We've become very close and he bought the film from me. He bought the rights to the film in 2018, and we collaborated on doing it as a project together. But it was, I, I, when I tell you, there was a lot of closed doors. It completely shut down in 2020. People said it would never be resurrected again.

They said the movies that were going to come out or are about to start will never get resurrected. And I was like, well, you don't know me very well. And ultimately we resurrected it and it, and then there was a writer's strike and then there was an actor's strike and all those things. Stopped the film completely and so many people were like aint gonna happen and I was like, I think it will yeah

K:

Did you get a new director then?

C:

No. He wasn't the one that was saying that It was just outside sources, but he it's funny because um, there were people in Hollywood that said to me We don't need another female led sick lit film I was like Yeah, I think we do. Yeah, I think we do and I'm gonna make it!

Yeah, who knew?

K:

Yeah, we need different stories. I appreciated that Firefly Lane did at least show a marginal issue of inflammatory breast cancer brought to light a different type of breast cancer, like lobular is often, you know, ignored and, um, it's very different than ductal. Um, but yeah, it's, it's so sad when suddenly the main character is just gone and, uh, you don't want to You don't want to identify with that as a patient.
I'm, I'm really curious to see what happens in Virgin River. It's one of my favorite TV shows my mom and I watch together.

C:

LOVE that episode, and you know what? I think she's gonna I think they're gonna have I just believe that they're gonna have her survive—especially that scene where she is with her friends.

K:

Yeah. Out on the beach and they say, yeah, we're going to fight this. Yeah. I love that. I love that. So we'll see where that goes. It's intriguing.

C:

Certainly this movie is gonna start a conversation and And it's funny because I had, there was an article that was written, I can't remember the name of it, but I've read it like a hundred times it came out of Hoag Hospital and that's in Newport Beach, California. And it talks about how Hollywood is, has a, has a say. And how people feel hope or don't feel hope and the guy that wrote the article, he did a study from 2010 to 2020 and he clearly writes how more films end in the funeral of cancer than, than survival and he writes my oncology patients come in and this is what they're talking about and we have to do, we owe you guys owe them better and I reached out to that doctor who wrote this Did this 10 year study and we're having a call this weekend. I invited him to the movie and I said, we have a lot to talk about. And he was like, I can't believe you're putting a movie out about survival and these are the reasons why. And he was like, so happy.

Yeah. I'd love to see more stories about the different facets of metastatic breast cancer too, because it can be a very long and, you know, you can be very active and functional with metastatic breast cancer. And people don't realize that, you know, Angel Studios just came out with a, with a stage four documentary on and she dies. Again, I'm I like feel like beating my head against the wall like there's so many people that survive Why are we just showing one narrative?

K:

So besides Instagram, you and I have a common, um, activity of participating in walks with Stand Tall AFC. You led a walk in 2023 in Miami where women kind of came from all over the place to, to join you. And it, I wasn't there myself, but it looked like a really joyful celebration. Tell me a little bit about that memory and what that was like for you.

C:

Well, I don't usually do the walks and it's not because I don't walk every day I do but I'm usually traveling and so I they asked me to do this walk and I, and I was, I guess, part of the organization team.
And I really didn't know what I was doing with the organization part. I usually don't do that part, but the actual walk, First of all, so many people from around the country and around the globe came because Miami is kind of a hot spot. And that was exciting. And then the stand tall group was mighty and there were, you know, a lot of people that showed up for it. So it was, it was exciting and fun for me. That was my first walk ever in the breast cancer space. And you hear about all these walks around the country and I just kind of always like, well, I should go to one. And so it was kind of, it was, it was empowering for me to be there and to meet other people. Of course, it's, you know, it's always fun and meaningful to meet other people in the community.

K:

Yeah. And you wore the Wendy Sage, for those who are watching on YouTube, I have Wendy Sage right behind me. And you had the t shirt on that had the new Simpsons character with a single breast.
Yes. It was great. What a great day.

K:

And now I'm working with Stand Tall and we just met last week to talk about your premiere, the film premiere in Hollywood with the Beverly Hills Film Festival at the Mann's Chinese Theater on Hollywood Boulevard. Tell us about what that's going to be like.

C:

Well, it's going to be an exciting night. I'm so glad you're going to be there. It's going to be, um, I think a lot of people, I hope a lot of people in the breast cancer community because it's, it's one thing to fill it with Hollywood types and business people and not that that's not important too. It is important and there's going to be, you know, brands like Pfizer represented and, and those types of people as well.

And it's also important and doctors, I really want doctors to be there and there's some some coming. It' a conversation for them as well. But this movie is for the survivors, is for the caretakers, is for the families. And so to have them there to experience it on the big screen. I've never seen it on a big screen.
I've only seen it on a computer. And so to see it all together like that, I'm hoping that it's, it's very impactful for not just the people there, but for all the spreading out of through social media that people are going to share and. only then can we really make this difference in this film. It's not for one night, it's for, it's for the longevity of this film. So, and this is just the beginning, right? We're going to have openings in other places, but this is the world premiere, so it matters. And so I'm hoping, my biggest hope is that when we do show a concave chest towards the end of the film, there is a big roar

K:

Yeah, So talk a little bit more about how we can help get the film into other film festivals. Like we have one in Portland. Um, do you want advocates out there, breast cancer advocates to help you to advocate to get the film into local film festivals?

C

You know, it is, it's important and it's hard because most of the time, I mean, we've gotten turned down by film festivals, I mean, I, I'm not knocking any of the golden globe winners this year, what a difference in a film like this versus the one that won the Oscar Anora, right. And we’re just telling such different stories. And people obviously want that kind of story. It won the Oscar, but it also won the Cannes Film Festival. We didn't apply to Cannes Film Festival, but we applied to Venice and Toronto. And we were turned down because you have these big, huge budget films that are portraying that type of show and they're being promoted. So it takes a community like ours to say, hey, no, we want something like this too. We're, why are we being left out? And so it, I don't know exactly how yet, other than, you know, to get a list of the festivals that we are applying to and to have people write in, say, you know what, we want this film. And I think that would make a big difference. I think it will impact it, but I think it's going to have to be a , grassroots level of people joining forces and saying, this matters.

K:

Yeah, okay, so now's the time to share your handle on Instagram so that you can enlist us to do that on a regular basis Because you're active on stories every day.

C:

I just do. I remember when stories came out, I was like, I don't think I'm going to spend a lot of time on stories. I love the stories. So @christinehandy1 is my Instagram name because there was already a Christine Handy. When I. Went on social media and so I am active on social media and I, I don't use it as a political cause. I don't use it as necessarily personal. I use it for to help people. I use it to inspire people. And that's it. I'm very clear about my, my mission on social media.

K:

Great. Okay, so we'll watch for you there and Want to make sure that folks know that it's not too late to get a ticket as of the release of this podcast Episode I think it will not be too late to get a ticket to your April 1st premiere on Hollywood Boulevard at the Mann's Chinese theater.

C:

And my rate is $23. A ticket is $160. But if you use my family rate, it's $23.

K:

Okay. So we'll have that link down below in the show notes on my website of breastcancerdiary. com. And if you'd like to subscribe to the stand tall newsletter, you can see it in our archives on sub stack. So that's https://standtallafc.substack.Com and we will see you. On Hollywood Boulevard! On the first!

C:

Can't wait. I'm so excited.