Pete Lee: No One Ever Gets to be Wrong

On this episode, our host, Brenda McCabe speaks with Pete Lee; a writer, teacher and coach. Pete has been supporting the spiritual growth and transformation of many life purpose and truth-seekers for over 16 years through one-on-one and group coaching sessions, gentle and restorative yoga and meditation classes and workshops, healing energy work and gong sound frequencies.

Pete is also a certified and registered instructor of Sacred Energy Arts, Kundalini and Restorative Yoga, having trained with Matthew Cohen, Rachel Sat Siri Dougherty, and Jillian Pransky. He has taught at many renowned yoga studios throughout Los Angeles including Yogaworks, Equinox, and Golden Bridge Yoga.

Pete’s website is cpetelee.com

 

transcript: 

00:19
Hi, this is Brenda McCabe. I'm the founder and owner of Next Act Advisors, and I'm here today with the latest addition to my channel. It's a podcast called The Founder's Sandbox. From Next Act Advisors, I'm an advisor, I'm a board director and an angel investor. And I started Next Act Advisors with a simple mission.

00:47
I want to assist entrepreneurs and entrepreneurs in building scalable, well-governed, and resilient businesses. The Founder Sandbox is just a natural extension of my mission to reach a broader audience. Building from the start of a business and educating through real life examples and playfulness and creativity, it is my vision to equip one startup founder at a time on building

01:16
a better world through great corporate governance. In this episode today, I'm joined by Pete Lee. He is a writer, a coach, and a yoga instructor. I've known him for many years. And he's gonna be sharing his purpose and how he has built a professional platform to change for a better world. Thank you, Pete, for joining me today on the Founder Sandbox.

01:45
So honored. Thank you, Brenda, for having me. I'd like to tell a little story about how I've known you for upwards of eight years and how I reached out to you initially for this podcast. And I've been with Pete as a yoga instructor. I'm a student, of course.

02:11
for over eight years. And one of the practices that he does is while you're grounding to identify and the knots that you have in your body and to really just breathe through those knots. And when I was thinking of bringing this practice into the work I do with founders, I couldn't help but ask Pete to kind of join me because I think founders oftentimes find knots when they're running up some of the

02:41
running up against some of their obstacles. So during today's interview, we're gonna talk about how he has discovered his passion, his gift in helping us people get through our knots. So thank you, Pete, again, for wanting to join me in the sandbox today. Let me give a little background on yourself, your credentials. Again, I've been working or practicing yoga with a...

03:09
Pete for over eight years. He is a writer, teacher and a coach. He has been supporting the spiritual growth and transformation of many life purpose and truth seekers for over 16 years through one on one and group coaching sessions through gentle and restorative yoga and meditation classes and workshops. He is a certified professional.

03:39
of Coaching Program. He's also a certified and registered instructor of sacred energy arts, Kundalini and restorative yoga, having trained with Matthew Cohen, Rachel Sat Sri

04:09
been under worked with many renowned yoga studios through Los Angeles, including yoga works, Echonauts and Golden Bridge yoga. Also, he has a huge he's a massive food fan and has written. He's a critic in the LA Times as well as other food magazines. So Pete, thank you again for joining me on next activizers and the founder sandbox.

04:39
Right. Thanks for having me. It's so exciting. Oh, right. So, uh, I always like to start with a story, right. And, you know, we, we've known each other for years and you've been instructing and practicing healing yoga practices. And I emphasize healing, uh, for over 10 years, um, after. I know he started as a journalist.

05:09
right, for a large newspaper. And now you've come full circle combining the practice of yoga with writing. Can you share with my listeners your story of the origin and how you've come back full circle? Yeah. So when I was in college, I let...

05:36
I found I got a part-time job as an editorial assistant. And so even then I was proofreading, light editing. I didn't do a lot of writing back then, but what was fantastic was that basically after college I was offered a junior writing position. So, and this is, and at that time,

06:04
You know, so going from transitioning from this part-time world to, and from us being a student in college to first full-time job out of college. And it's a different world, even though I feel like I didn't, my desk didn't move like that far. I was like 30 feet away from my old desk to the new desk. Like everything changed, just like the work and just everything. But.

06:32
Um, it's also when I also discovered yoga at the same time, um, uh, cause a colleague of mine, um, was teaching at the basement of the building, like once a week. And we would, uh, she said, Oh, you want to do yoga together? And, and it was really life-changing because I didn't, I didn't know what it was. And it was like, Oh, moving, we're breathing. And next thing you know, I was crying. Kundalini does that to us.

07:01
Oh, yeah. And I was like, wow, I mean, I thought it was absolutely like so profound, you know, how that whole experience was. And it brought me in touch with really like really like at the heart of like, wow, what am I holding? Like I'm in my early 20s at the time. So it was it was it was it was

07:29
an incredible experience in so many ways and growth experience. I realized that when you start a position as an editorial assistant, or any kind of junior position, especially as a part-timer in college, and then when you move over to a full-time position four years later, I think people related to me as I was still a college student. Because I've known everyone since I was 19, basically. And at this point, I was 23.

07:58
And I think people still saw me as this college student. So I think that was hard being in the same environment around the same people. But all of a sudden any idea I had was like seen as, oh, that's cute. And I think it really needed, I think, but again, everything worked exactly how it's supposed to be because it was those experiences that had me look into

08:29
healing myself because a lot of stuff was coming up. I was feeling really like, you know, self-esteem was low, confidence was at an all time low over those four years of working as a full-time writer. I didn't think I could write because it was really, really challenging. But that's also what led me into deepening the yoga practice, deepening, looking for ways to work on myself, my own purpose.

08:59
went to the basement to practice this initial introduction into yoga, you had knots, right? Perhaps as a result of the working conditions, right? From that transition from a 19-year-old to a 23-year-old, right? Plenty of knots. Plenty of knots that accumulated and

09:28
continued over time. So you went on a journey to heal yourself, right? And that's when you discovered the coaching. That's when I discovered coaching. I thought about going back to school to become a therapist. At the time, I think coaching was very new and it wasn't something that was...

09:58
so readily available and it wasn't really kind of in the zeitgeist of our, you know, of our culture. And I remember watching a show on TV. You might remember it was called Nip Tuck. But you know, I was gone. I was missing from the United States. Yes. So there was a show called Nip Tuck and there was a character who was a life coach. And for some reason, I think

10:28
I just, I looked into that. Like, what is a life coach? A friend, and then a friend of mine told me, I was mentioning that as well at the same time, saying, you know, I know you don't wanna, I know you're considering therapy. Maybe therapy is not your route, but you know, you should look into this life coaching thing. I'm like, what is this? And then so I start looking online at the time and I noticed a lot of life coaching schools. And then,

10:57
a lot of them were graduates of the coaches training institute. So and so founded this school, but this, this person graduated from the coaches training institute. Like what is this coaches training institute? So I went on their site and they were the first, basically, but really the, the first program, the, you know, that started a lot of this coaching work. And, and I started reading about their principles and

11:23
And then one of the first things in their cornerstones was no one ever gets to be wrong. I love it. And it was amazing. Cause I felt like there was so much permission and such a permission to play, permission to make mistakes, permission to see what works. Something that they would say a lot was throwing spaghetti. To see what sticks. At the wall.

11:53
Yeah. And then especially coming from, I remember, I still remember seeing the coaches training Institute website when I was at my desk at work. And I think I want, I think I, I may have like teared up at my desk because it was, I think at that time, I think few years I've gone by of just feeling that everything I did was wrong, right? To read something that while no one could ever be wrong.

12:23
that everything is for the sake of learning and growing and expanding. I wanna do that. I wanna support other people in doing that. So that began my journey. Yeah. So I hear you saying that you perhaps had a cathartic moment, right? The sitting in front of your desk at work where...

12:50
Your work is not appreciated. You're treated like a 19 year old. Um, you believe you have the gift of writing, but you also discover coaching. Right.

13:03
What do you enjoy? I think you shared that, you know, you talk about a safe space when we practice yoga with you, what is the safe space and how do you recreate that? I think, safety, I feel like is at the heart of it's so important. I think it's a lot of it is because to everyone to some degree has experienced some degree of trauma in our lives.

13:30
And trauma can also be a positive thing, not necessarily a negative thing, but it could be something so huge that it could be overwhelming. Even how we receive joy, how we receive something happy, depending on, we may feel a sense of shame about being happy because of something that happened in our past. So safety is, I feel like, is creating an environment where it's okay for us to be wrong.

13:59
creating an environment where we can just be without an agenda, right? And then so in practice, I feel like when we can arrive at a safe place, when there is the space where we can just land and without feeling that I need to do something to prove how good I am or to prove anything really, that I could just show up and be.

14:29
and really be held in the space where everyone could be themselves. And also because of our past traumas and our past stuff, it's so easy for each of us to be in the space of fight or flight. So as long as we're in the state of fight or flight,

14:55
nervous systems are constantly like, like, like it's like that space of gripping, right? So when there is a space to land and know that we, there is no wrong, we can just, ah, we can exhale. Yeah. We can just land. I think that the, the, the, that, that word landing is really huge, that we can just, ah, feel safe. You know, I, I can't,

15:25
help but bring it back to the founders journey, right? Entrepreneurs, I started off with using the the analogy of knots, right? And how we work through our yoga practice, I'm releasing those knots. But also, I found in practicing yoga, with you and others is the the what you become is what you kind of

15:54
communicate to the world, right? And so everything is a mirror, right? How we treat ourselves, right? In a business environment, as a founder of a company, in our own yoga practice, is how we can impact the world, right? Yes, absolutely. And so how would you, can you share some specific kind of practices

16:22
for founders when they're running up against, I mean, what are those triggers in their own bodies that would suggest taking some time out and landing? Yeah, I think especially when you're having meetings or the thought of having a meeting with somebody, a new client, and it could happen in the midst of a meeting or before.

16:50
Right. And that's an example. That could be an example where you're like, oh, I hope this works out. But it's like all the anticipation can trigger a lot already for somebody. And so I guess it's really like looking into where we grip, where we start to feel tight in the body. Something I share a lot is the idea of scanning, like a mental scan from head to toe and just even just breathing

17:20
without kind of like, it just in kind of an effortless breathing. And then, but it's really noticing where we all of a sudden, like if we're, if we're scanning from head to toe mentally from the top of our head and you're making your way down and you're just checking, you may notice like, all of a sudden you're, you're, you're inhale that might be this natural easy inhale and you get to your throat or something. For example, all of a sudden there's like this little, there's like, you could barely inhale.

17:50
So that's a good example of all of a sudden something is held here where the ease of breathing becomes it's like a very shallow breath. So that's a good sign of something is gripping, something is held here, some stress or tension is there. So what I would say is when we scan, the really great way just to pause and like, okay, I'm gonna hang out here. I'm gonna like...

18:15
use my mind as a laser beam and keep my focus right at my throat, because that's where the shallow breath is. And I'm just going to, and the first few breaths might still be shallow, but as I keep my attention here and really allow the breath to come back to ease again. And once breath comes back to ease, I'll continue to scan down. So that attention piece is, is really huge. When we scan, it's almost like,

18:44
an opportunity to hang out with our nerves and cells. And awareness. It is, and that awareness piece, that piece too, in a way, if you bring that out into something physical in the outer world, if you think about, if you have a younger sibling, or if you're around a child and the child is crying. And I think a lot of

19:14
I think a lot of us who grew up in an environment where, you know, our parents or older siblings or elders thought that, oh, if I stop this child from crying, I'm stopping this child from hurting. Like, and because I think also adults just was like, I don't want to, I don't know how to deal with this crying. But really, when you just kind of be there with the child, and the child can

19:43
an older person, an elder here, giving me space to cry, not telling me to shut up, not telling me to stop. The child can really have this cathartic moment of just release and feel safe while being witnessed in a sense and held. And the child would cry and the child would organically stop crying, right? Just by your presence of, and without an agenda of saying, I need you to shut up now.

20:11
No, so when we basically when we scan, it is basically that when we're the act of doing that is how that how we are becoming that elder for ourselves. Right. So it's like, when we when we pause and hang out at our throats. It's like every cell and nerve there. It's like say, it's okay, I'm here. I'm going to hang out with you and breathe with you until until ease returns.

20:40
until the crying stops organically. And then I'm gonna continue looking for another spot where there's gripping. Amazing. I love that you chose an example of a child crying with an elder being beside them because it takes us right back to the founder's sandbox. And one of your life moments was the sudden passing of your mother. Oh yeah.

21:10
And your mother was, I believe, a huge influence as you were pivoting in your professional journey. And I think she had a saying that she would tell you. What was that saying, Pete? Her saying was ride cow, find horse. And for my listeners, can you explain that? Because I think it's super applicable to founders who sometimes have to pivot.

21:39
But you can't get to that endpoint immediately. So what was your mother saying about? So I was telling her at the time how stressed I was and that I was just feeling really disheartened about writing, right? Feeling and being in that job. And I'm like, I wanna do something different. I wanna do something different. I can't take this anymore. And she kept saying, ride cow, find horse.

22:08
And in Cantonese, it's called kei ngawad ma. And it translates exactly that ride cow find horse. So the idea is that ride your cow until you find your horse. Like don't leave your job until you find something else. It's very practical, right? At the same time, it really gives you a space to assess. What is that horse? I'm not just jumping onto the next cow.

22:37
Or, you know, or even then it could, the cow could become a horse. But the thing is, it's like, really take time to, to really look at like, what, what is it do I want to move into? Right? Well, you have this kind of, when you have this cow that is supporting you in some way, right? That, that there is this, there is a support system there for you right now. And instead of just jumping off and like,

23:05
I'm going to abandon everything to because in that in that state too, then we lose our, you know, our financial support. We lose so much support in this moment of I'm sort of jump off. Right. So it's like having support while I while I expand to really become what's more true for me. And the wisdom of elders, right? Your mother.

23:33
And so you discovered the coaching, got your certification, and been practicing for over 16 years. Pandemic hits, it impacted clearly the practice of yoga instruction. And I'd like you to share how just the retooling, the scuffing coaching has come to full circle because you're back writing.

24:02
as well as you found kind of this happy place in your professional platform that I'd like to share you to share with the listeners. So what was so fascinating was I think after I left the job and went really dove into coaching which then opened to what was interesting too was diving into yoga.

24:29
Right? Because at first it was just for me, my own practice. And then my nephew is autistic. And then I realized how much the yoga practice and the Kundalini meditations and such helped me land, helped me feel more grounded. So, so much more for myself. I thought, um, wow, maybe if this helped me so much, maybe my nephew would enjoy it. And at the time Golden Bridge yoga in, in Hollywood had a kids class.

24:59
and an adult class on Saturdays at the same time. So I thought, I asked my brother and my sister-in-law, can I bring him to yoga and see if he likes it? Cause it helped me so much. And they said, sure. So it was during that time that we would go every Saturday that they announced that a teacher training was coming up. And I had really no thought of becoming a yoga teacher. I was already coaching at the time, but then I...

25:28
that I thought, well, I could learn tools because they helped me so much, maybe you could help my clients. And then, and at the same time, I wanted to start to teach workshops, like coaching workshops. But at the same time, I realized that I was afraid of public speaking. And then so I thought, well, if I could be in front of a room teaching a yoga class, if I could teach a yoga class, I could teach a workshop. So it was in a sense like it,

25:58
It was a way to learn public speaking. It was a way to learn tools to support clients and support my nephew. So I thought it was just this way of bridging everything together. And next thing you know, I was asked to sub people's classes and next thing you know, from subbing someone's class to teaching full-time in addition to coaching. And then, so yeah, so during the pandemic.

26:26
Even right before the pandemic, I was offered opportunities to write. And it's funny because for a while, I was very... I would take on some writing assignments, but there was still so much anxiety about writing, because I had so much of it before, and I didn't really feel the joy of it. And so during the pandemic,

26:55
I was offered this writing opportunity again. And I thought, you know, okay. And it just felt right to me. It was for another coach to support his practice, to support his business. And I thought, wow, it's like merging my worlds together. Right? It's like, I'm getting to write from a place of support in someone who's working in a similar field as me. And I thought, I really got to bring my...

27:25
my experiences to support someone. It was so it was really nice to kind of bridge those those worlds together. And then pandemic happened. Pandemic happened. Yoga studios closed, gyms closed. But I was writing. I was working from home writing. And what was great was during that whole time,

27:55
worked through. I mean, especially bridging the yoga practices, everything for myself too, it's like noticing where my anxieties would come up, where I hold my tension and my anxieties in my own body. And really it's like, what a great opportunity to work on myself during this time. And I really got to reclaim my joy of writing during this whole period.

28:24
So you found your horse. I found my horse. In the course of the pandemic. Excellent. So I wanted to give you the opportunity to connect with my listeners. So if people wanted to contact you, Pete, how would they do? What's the best way? And this will be in the notes for the podcast. But please provide your email. How do we connect? So my email is.

28:54
C, the letter C, Pete, P-E-T-E, Lee, L-E-E, at gmail.com. My website is www.cpeatlee.com. Again, that's C, the letter C, and then P-E-T-E-L-E-E.com. There's a lot of new things coming up, so at the moment the website needs some updating, but still there's ways to also, you can go on the website.

29:24
click on contact and you can contact me there as well. Excellent. And before we close, I always like to have a lightning round of three cornerstone pieces of my work at NextAct Advisors and it's around resilience, poise for growth and corporate purpose. And I'd like you to share what meaning does poise for growth have for you.

29:55
Toys for growth means like, for me, comes back to feeling grounded, like really feeling rooted. So that like there is a phrase that comes from Qigong actually that is ascension is predicated on the root, right? So that there's no branches, there's no tree without root. So grounding practices is so important for growth. So when we

30:24
Again, when we feel safe, when we feel supported, we can expand. Amazing. What does resilience mean to you? Resilience is used to me. Resilience for me means that we feel safe, and I think of that idea of, we think of learning how to drive, not just driving, learning anything, but driving is the thing that comes to mind.

30:54
They think of the, what they call the four stages of learning that like when we learn something in the beginning, it's like, we don't know that we don't know how to drive. Like what they call unconscious incompetence. Like we don't even know. Then we, then as we go through driver's ed, we're like, wow, I know that I don't know. So we go from unconscious incompetence to conscious incompetence. And then the third phase is conscious competence. Like where...

31:21
We're driving, but we're always looking left, looking right. Like it's like, we're going by every rule that we learned in driver's ed. And then the fourth is unconscious competence, where we don't even think about driving anymore. We're just driving. So when I think of resilience is doing the practices where we're grounding, we're letting go, like doing practices to help us release stress so that our nervous systems aren't in this constant state of fight or flight. Yeah. So-

31:49
And so our nervous systems become used to ease and balance. So that becomes the new norm instead of all the time. To me, that's resilience is when we could, and in the face of whatever that's flying by around us, that we can still stay, be in the state of balance and ease. I love it. I love it. And the Fit for Purpose, or Corporate Purpose, Fit for Purpose. What is that? Fit for Purpose. Yeah, Fit for Purpose.

32:19
being at a space to be connected to what's true for you. Like being a space to feel that you feel safe to express yourself, to know that it's okay to love what you love and to share that. Well, I am so happy that you shared today what you love to do professionally, but you're not gonna get away.

32:48
without one more question. Did you have fun in the sandbox today, Pete? I did. It was super fun. Thank you. So before I close, I do want to close off with, thanks to my listeners, the Founder Sandbox, again, is available where you get your podcasts, Apple, iTunes, as well as Spotify and others. It's a monthly podcast.

33:18
where we play in the founder sandbox. We have practitioners, we have business owners that really help to build a better world through resilience, corporate purpose, and fit for purpose. Thank you and signing off. See you next time.