Episode 106: Support: Who Do I Feel Better Around?
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Release Date: 09/23/2021
Episode 243: Preston's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
"What now?" This is the question that today's guest Bridget asked herself after she and her family made the difficult decision to remove her 28-year-old son, Preston, from life support following his car accident while on a trip to Florida. Bridget had watched her own mother live through the nightmare of child loss when Bridget's 13-year-old brother died. She had lived in a broken family and had felt a bit like a forgotten mourner. She was determined to be there for her boys in their grief in a way that her mother had been unable to do. A few months before Preston died, Bridget's...
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Episode 242: Grandparent Grief
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
When a listener suggested that we talk about grandparents and grief, I thought that it would be a good topic for one of my Livestream episodes with Gwen, but I never realized how much I would learn myself. As you all know, Andy's 20th birthday was last week so I did not prep as much as I normally do for Livestream episodes. I did not have days of questions being posted for listeners in the week ahead of the broadcast. I posted all of the questions once on Facebook and Instagram and no comments were left at all. I had one beautiful email response to the questions that I shared on social media,...
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Episode 241: Taylor's Gift Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Tara's teen daughter, Taylor was the kind of friend who made others feel like they were the most special person in the room. When Taylor tragically died in 2010 in a skiing accident, Tara says that the easiest decision that the family had to make was when they were asked, 'Your daughter is a beautiful candidate for organ donation; would you consider it?' They knew their loving, caring daughter would never hesitate to help others so they did not hesitate either. Tara wanted her daughter to be a gift to others. The family knew that by making this decision, they would be able to give total...
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Episode 240: Josh's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
I have a confession to make. This is a hard week for me. In three days, we will have to 'celebrate' Andy's 20th birthday. I have been thinking all week about what a 20-year-old Andy would be like. Would he have decided on a career path? Would he be dating a special girl? Would he still show some of his inner silliness? I'm sure that instead of me kissing the top of his head, he would be tall enough to kiss the top of mine. I'd like to think we would be headed out to visit him at college this weekend to make his birthday special. Of course, I will never know the answers to any of these...
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Episode 239: Randy's Dad
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
What is a miracle? Many people have told today's guest, Freddie, that his son, Randy, was a living miracle. Few would have argued that point. Randy was diagnosed with cancer at 4 1/2 years of age. After conventional chemotherapy and radiation failed to treat his tumor, the family was told that Randy had 6 months to live. They turned to NIH studies, but none of those treatments ever made it out of the stage of clinical trials. His grandfather prayed over him and even instructed Freddie to rub a Bible up and down his spine. Randy was cured by these faith healings again and again. The boy who...
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Episode 238: Blake S's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
When Sandy first contacted me after her son, Blake's death, I never imagined that less than 2 years later she would be sharing his story on the podcast. When Sandy wrote to me, it was only 6 weeks since Blake had died. The pain was palpable throughout her email. Her very last sentence to me read, 'This is the MOST excruciating pain ever!!' She was filled with anger toward the doctors who failed to diagnose Blake quickly enough and see just how sick he was. Sandy says that she was in a very dark place for over a year. She posted on social media about Blake, finding others to share her pain. She...
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Episode 237: Corban's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Last July 4th weekend, I had the honor of going to a very sacred space with two bereaved moms, Dixie, and today's guest and dear friend, Michelle. We retraced the steps that Michele and her family took on that fateful day on July 4th, 2020 when Michelle lost her amazing 19-year-old son, Corban, who drowned in Lake Michigan. From the first steps walking along that trail, I knew that we were doing something very special. I could feel Corban, Parker, and Andy. I could feel God walking along beside us. In the first years after Andy died, whenever we dove past the accident site where Andy died, I...
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Episode 236: Grief & Feeling Out of Control
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Recently, Gwen and I have been starting to struggle to find new topics to discuss on our Livestream episodes. Eric suggested doing an episode about how bereaved people can feel like life is out of control, especially early in grief. After Andy died, I felt like our whole world was spinning out of control. Life was suddenly going really fast and I just wanted things to slow down. The world was no longer a safe place for my family, and everything suddenly felt so scary. As the podcast episode started this week, however, I asked Eric why he picked this topic. His answer completely surprised me....
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Episode 235: Jake's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
We as grieving people often feel as if we are being judged by others. If I laugh or smile, will people think I am 'over' Andy's death? Will they think I don't care or think about him anymore? If people see me sad and crying, will they think that I should be doing better? Will they judge me and think that I should be able to keep my emotions in check? However, as much as we fear judgment from other people often we are the ones who are our biggest critics. We feel guilty if we laugh and smile. We feel shame when the tears come and emotions get out of control. When today's guest, Aleasha, talks...
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Episode 234: Chad's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
When Susan's 19-year-old son, Chad, died in September 2020 during the pandemic, it was an extremely isolating time, but she and her family were also completely exposed. Chad was a healthy, young athlete who died from an extremely rare neurological disease called Weston-Hurst syndrome. This horrific disease is rapidly progressive and most often fatal as it attacks the central nervous system. Its specific cause remains unknown, but it is triggered by a viral infection. In this case, Chad contracted COVID while at college. Now, this family was not only mourning the death of their beloved...
info_outlineWhen someone asks you how you are doing, what is your response? I know that for most people, even bereaved people, the quick answer is, "Fine." (I learned today a great acronym for FINE - Feelings I'm Not Expressing.) Inwardly, we may wonder, 'Do you really want to know or are you just making polite conversation?' We don't want to open ourselves up to the many people who would truly be uncomfortable if we are honest with them. We want to be sure that they will be supportive first, but how can we really know the answer to that question?
On today's podcast, Gwen and I discuss the topic of who can support us as grieving people and how we can help others be more equipped to help us. Let them know that we don't want them to try to fix us, just be there with us. Grief is something that must be worked through, and it is so much easier if you are not alone. We need to work to find the right people to help us on our healing journey. Honestly, they may or may not be the people we expect. Sometimes, friends and family cannot support us in the ways that we need. It is necessary to go outside our inner circle to find help. Support groups, social media groups, friends of friends - it takes some bravery to branch out like that, but it can be so rewarding.
As an aside, Gwen and I will now be doing all of our podcast episodes as Livestream Events that can be seen on the Always Andy's Mom Facebook page, YouTube channel or on Gwen's grief-guide Facebook page. In this way, we will be able to answer listeners questions right away giving us an even better sense of community. The next Livestream will be on Tuesday, November 16th at 8pm Eastern time. The topic will be on how grieving people can get through the holiday season.