Episode 292: Keenan's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
I am quite sure I have never spoken with a parent whose child had their own Wikipedia page, but Erin's son, , does. Certainly, when Keenan was born, Erin did not ever imagine that someday, he would become an internet celebrity. From an early age, Erin worried about Keenan and his growth and development. When Keenan was 12 months old, Erin mentioned her concerns to Keenan's pediatrician. Keenan was diagnosed with Mucopolysaccharidosis Type VI. The disease was not curable, but was treatable. He underwent a bone marrow transplant to slow the progression. Erin was told that his life expectancy was...
info_outline
Episode 291: Lydia's Mommy
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
When today's guest, Danielle, went into her 21-month-old daughter Lydia's room to wake her from a nap on Christmas Day 2022, she noted how peaceful Lydia looked. She began to gently rub her back to rouse her gradually, but Lydia did not move. Danielle started to jostle her a bit more and soon realized that something was very wrong. Lydia was not waking up. Danielle screamed for her husband's help and quickly called 911. Even as she drove to the hospital, Danielle says she did not realize the gravity of the situation. Lydia had died. They learned from Lydia's autopsy that she had a rare...
info_outline
Episode 290: Kelsey's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Andy always loved dogs. I think he loved dogs so much because his personality was similar to a puppy's. He was always on the move and always excited to meet new people and to see new places. Over the years, Andy tried in vain to talk Eric into getting us a family dog. Eric came from a cat family. I came from a dog family. I am allergic to cats and Eric did not really like dogs, so our poor children ended up with pet fish instead. Once, when Andy was young, he asked me, 'If Dad dies, can we get a dog?' I was caught completely off guard but eventually had to answer that we could likely get a...
info_outline
Episode 289: Conni's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Adlai Stevenson famously eulogized Eleanor Roosevelt, saying, 'She would rather light a candle than curse the darkness.' When today's guest, Sherri, first heard this quote, she knew that she wanted it to apply to her life as well. Sherri's youngest daughter, Conni, battled through addiction and mental illness for 10 years. Sherri stayed by her side for all of that time, supporting her through the good years as well as the bad. She attended 12-step meetings with Conni and learned about addiction during Conni's low moments and celebrated with her when it seemed she was beating the addiction at...
info_outline
Episode 288: Rob's Dad
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
When Larry lost his son, Rob, to suicide six years ago, Larry was devasted. He immediately found a grief counselor and signed up to be in a grief support group. After two months of waiting, he attended his first support group meeting. He said he did not expect to like being in a support group, but, shortly after starting, Larry realized that he had found 'his people'. Larry felt like they could speak a language that 'ordinary' parents could not understand. When one of the other parents in his support group wished out loud that there was a guidebook for bereaved parents, Larry felt...
info_outline
Episode 287: Drew's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
I have been told that my podcast is an important part of the therapy process for many grieving parents. Today is the first time, however, that I have interviewed someone whose therapist instructed her to reach out to me and be on my podcast as a guest. When Robyn's son, Drew (Andrew), was killed in a motorcycle accident in 2021, she was 'shocked, but not surprised.' She certainly had that shock of losing Drew, but Drew was a daredevil most of his life. He had no fewer than three accidents in the months before his death that could have taken his life, but he had miraculously walked away...
info_outline
Episode 286: Eric & Threads of Gold
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
This week's podcast was supposed to be from a Livestream I had planned to do with Gwen earlier this week. If you follow me on Facebook, you already know that the Livestream was canceled. Gwen got very sick with Influenza A, making it impossible for her to do the Livestream. I told her not to worry at all and that I would just 'wing it' so to speak. (By the way, Gwen assures me she is beginning to feel better.) This made me think of the saying, 'When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.' Thinking back over the past six years since Andy died, I realize I have been forced to make a lot of...
info_outline
Episode 285: Brennan's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
I was so touched by talking with today's guest. Erin has been an elementary school music teacher for more than 10 years. Music was an important part of Andy's life, whether he was singing in the choir or playing the piano, drums, or French Horn. I often wonder how music would have shaped his future growing up. Although Andy said he wanted to be a pilot, Eric always felt he would have become a music teacher instead. Music touched him in such a special way. Andy's elementary school music teacher was important in introducing him to his love for music, so I felt drawn to Erin immediately. ...
info_outline
Episode 284: Hollis's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
None of us want to be bereaved parents. We love the idea of being a new parent. It is a title we wear proudly. We love the first time our children call us mama or dada. Although many thoughts go through our minds when welcoming our new baby, the average parent certainly does not think that they could ever be a bereaved parent. Our children aren't supposed to die before us, so those thoughts don't enter our minds. When talking to Hollis's mom, Amanda, she is quick to admit that she does not want to be a bereaved parent. She wants to continue to be Hollis's mom, but she wants to be a regular...
info_outline
Episode 283: Mason's Mama
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Can TikTok be therapy? After today's guest, Lindsay's 2-year-old son, Mason, died in his sleep due to complications from a febrile seizure, Lindsay felt lost. She didn't know what to do. She tried seeing two different therapists early on in her grief, but at the time, that didn't feel right to her. Lindsay says that she couldn't even begin to process her grief. That is when Lindsay turned to an unusual place. She turned to TikTok. Lindsay () began making videos about Mason, showing him running around and giggling. Mason was never going to meet new people who would see his fun personality, but...
info_outlineToday's guest, Marj, always wanted her daughter, Chloe, to be a normal kid. When Marj and her husband first adopted Chloe, she already had medical concerns, but at 20 months of age, their lives were turned upside down when Chloe was diagnosed with cancer. Chloe lived the next 14 years of her life with cancer, but Marj continued to try to make her life as normal as possible.
When Chloe's parents sent her to summer camp for kids with cancer (now called Campfire Circle), Marj and Chloe took a flight to where Chloe would be able to get on a bus for camp. As a kid, Marj had loved going to summer camp and she new that Chloe would love the experience as well - if they could get her to go. The night before she was to get on the bus, Chloe called her dad and said, 'I don't think Mommy loves me anymore. I think she is trying to get rid of me. She's sending me to this camp and I don't want to go, Daddy.' She was almost frantic with worry, but somehow, Marj convinced her to get on the bus that morning.
When Marj came to pick her up two weeks later, Chloe's expression was one of pure joy. She shared that camp had 'changed her life.' At camp, she was a regular kid. She didn't have to explain herself to anyone. At camp, being in a wheelchair or needing an oxygen tank didn't make a kid feel like an outsider. These things were completely normal. If Chloe didn't feel like eating, she didn't have to eat. When other kids were swimming and Chloe felt like she wanted to stay in the boat and take pictures, she stayed in the boat and took pictures.
After those first 2 weeks at camp, Chloe went each year until the camp had to be closed for COVID. Marj says that those weeks were magical for Chloe. Since Chloe's death, Marj has struggled to find purpose in her life again. Finding a reason to get out of bed can be a challenge. Marj wondered what it would be like to visit Chloe's magical camp so she went to volunteer. Marj said that she felt Chloe at the camp and could see why she loved it so much. Marj hopes that moving forward, it can be a place for her to go to feel Chloe’s presence and a bit of camp magic each summer as well.