Episode 310: Juniper's Mom & Dad
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
When today's guests, Andy and Kristen, lost their almost 2-year-old daughter due to complications after a seizure 2 years ago, their lives completely changed. There was life before Juniper died, and there was life after Juniper died. Before Juniper died, they had two young girls in daycare. Days after Juniper died, their older daughter, Macie, started public school, and Juniper was gone. There was no longer a need for a daycare. They were suddenly navigating a world where they were bereaved parents. It was as if they were suddenly living in an alternative universe. Years before Juniper's...
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Episode 309: Michael & Logan's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
I have often said that different people grieve differently. Today's guest, Lori, adds a new twist to that statement. She lost two of her four sons almost 30 years apart from each other, and she is grieving so much differently now than she did the first time around, showing that the same person can grieve similar losses differently as well. The stories of Michael and Logan's deaths are far different. Michael died at age 2 of an aggressive type of cancer called neuroblastoma. He died after 9 months of treatment in his mother's arms at the hospital, which she says gave her time to say goodbye,...
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Episode 308: Finding Respite
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Livestreams with Gwen are back! This week's livestream topic was to be about the fact that we are living in two worlds - longing to live in the past while dealing with our messy lives in the present. I talk about my struggles of missing Andy while trying to be the happy mother-of-the-groom at Valeriano's recent wedding. This conversation quickly morphed into another topic. Respite. First, is it OK to take a break from your grief? And second - where do I find respite when I need a break from my grief? My answers - First - YES! And Second - walks outside in the sunshine, riding in our boat,...
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Episode 307: Johnny, Reggie, and Miah's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Since becoming a bereaved parent, several phrases have irritated me. One of the most bothersome things people say to me is, 'You are so strong. I could never do what you do.' I feel like that suggests they don't think they need to help me—that I can handle everything on my own without assistance. When I first heard about today's guest, Cristi, and the '' method she developed, I wasn't sure if I would like it. However, because Cristi lost not just one, but three children, I thought I should give it a try. After our conversation, all my doubts melted away. When Cristi talks about being...
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Episode 306: Lueza'a Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Today's guest, Jody, worked as an actor on Broadway for a year, but nothing had ever prepared her for the role she was required to play after the birth of her firstborn daughter, Lueza. After a completely unremarkable pregnancy, Jody suffered severe complications during childbirth, resulting in significant brain injuries for Baby Lueza. After suffering from horrible seizures as a young infant, they were able to stabilize little Lueza. Once they did so, she began to show a smile that would light up a room. Still, Lueza had significant delays. She could not sit, eat, or talk independently. At...
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Episode 305: Heston's Dad
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
When today's guest, Andy, lost his 18-year-old son, Heston, to suicide, he had a lot of time to reflect on life and finding one's purpose. Early in Andy's grief journey, he saw a visual that truly resonated with him. The image was of a framed picture that was completely black. The blackness represented the grief that, early on in one's grief journey, was all-encompassing. The darkness of the grief covered every part of the bereaved person's life. Then, there was a second image of a black rectangle the same size as the first. However, the picture frame was now several times larger, so that the...
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Episode 304: Stu's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Today's guest, Jackie, says that her guiding purpose is based on a quote that she has written down and keeps close by. David Viscott wrote, "The purpose of life is to discover your gift. The work of life is to develop it. And the meaning of life is to give your gift away." Jackie says that is exactly how her son, Stu, lived his life and how she works to live her own. Initially, after her amazingly talented, loving son, Stu, died by suicide, she lost herself. Stu had been living his dream life in New York City. He had his own apartment and worked at a job he loved as a barber, cutting...
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Episode 303: Maeve's Mama
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Maeve was a little girl who was born to be a big sister. As soon as she was able to toddle around the house, Maeve was bringing the family dog her favorite books to read and making sure he had everything that he 'needed'. Shortly after Maeve's second birthday, her little brother was born, and Maeve was truly in her element. She adored Declan and wanted to share everything with him. Baby Declan loved being a part of the 'Maeve show' as her mama, Tarah, described it. Declan would grin as his big sister laughed and danced around him. Life was good. Then, one day, that perfect life was destroyed....
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Episode 302: Emily & Mahaley (Saachi's Mom)
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Storytelling. It's my very favorite thing about doing the podcast each week. When I meet each guest, I am privileged to help people share their child's story with people around the world. I have come to learn over the past 300-plus episodes that this storytelling helps lead to healing for both the guests sharing their stories and the listeners who tune in each week. Emily learned about the power of storytelling years ago while writing her book, . As a perinatal mental health specialist, she recognized the importance for women to be able to work through their own birth story experiences to help...
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Episode 301: Samuel's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
There is one question that this week's guest, Nicole (), asks each client when she first starts seeing them as a life coach. What are three things you love about yourself? How did you answer this question? Was it difficult? Did you even come up with three things? I have to admit something. I had a hard time. As a mom, I can think of three things I love about my kids. As a wife, I can easily name three things I love above my husband, but when asked to look inward like this, I falter. Nicole says that 85% of her clients have the same struggle. They can't name even one thing,...
info_outlineI am quite sure I have never spoken with a parent whose child had their own Wikipedia page, but Erin's son, Keenan Cahill, does. Certainly, when Keenan was born, Erin did not ever imagine that someday, he would become an internet celebrity. From an early age, Erin worried about Keenan and his growth and development. When Keenan was 12 months old, Erin mentioned her concerns to Keenan's pediatrician. Keenan was diagnosed with Mucopolysaccharidosis Type VI. The disease was not curable, but was treatable. He underwent a bone marrow transplant to slow the progression. Erin was told that his life expectancy was between 40 and 60 years, and they should expect medical complications throughout life.
Despite these challenges, Keenan wanted to be a regular kid, and Erin worked hard to make him feel that way. When Keenan wanted to play sports, Erin signed him up, although he could never hope to keep up with other kids. Nothing stood in his way. As Keenan started high school, he began playing around with the desktop computer he got for his birthday. He released a hilarious video of himself lip-syncing to Katy Perry's song, "Teenage Dream." People loved it, and soon it was played on The Jimmy Kimmel Show. His life changed forever.
Keenan was off to do events to entertain people. Celebrities visited their home to be in Keenan's videos, but with this newfound fame, many had negative, hurtful comments. Just as Keenan did not let his disease hold him back, he didn't let those hateful comments hold him back either. Eventually, he graduated from college and was able to produce his own music videos.
Complications after heart surgery ended Keenan's life in 2022 at the age of 27, far earlier than expected. While the world mourned a Youtuber, Erin mourned her amazing son. As Erin shared his story, I just kept thinking about how he spread joy in his short life. That should inspire all of us, shouldn't it? Despite the grief and pain, we too can spread joy and inspire others. While we may not end up with a Wikipedia page, it will be enough to help spread some happiness or relieve a little pain in those around us.