Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Maeve was a little girl who was born to be a big sister. As soon as she was able to toddle around the house, Maeve was bringing the family dog her favorite books to read and making sure he had everything that he 'needed'. Shortly after Maeve's second birthday, her little brother was born, and Maeve was truly in her element. She adored Declan and wanted to share everything with him. Baby Declan loved being a part of the 'Maeve show' as her mama, Tarah, described it. Declan would grin as his big sister laughed and danced around him. Life was good. Then, one day, that perfect life was destroyed....
info_outlineLosing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Storytelling. It's my very favorite thing about doing the podcast each week. When I meet each guest, I am privileged to help people share their child's story with people around the world. I have come to learn over the past 300-plus episodes that this storytelling helps lead to healing for both the guests sharing their stories and the listeners who tune in each week. Emily learned about the power of storytelling years ago while writing her book, . As a perinatal mental health specialist, she recognized the importance for women to be able to work through their own birth story experiences to help...
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There is one question that this week's guest, Nicole (), asks each client when she first starts seeing them as a life coach. What are three things you love about yourself? How did you answer this question? Was it difficult? Did you even come up with three things? I have to admit something. I had a hard time. As a mom, I can think of three things I love about my kids. As a wife, I can easily name three things I love above my husband, but when asked to look inward like this, I falter. Nicole says that 85% of her clients have the same struggle. They can't name even one thing,...
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Episode 300. It's hard to wrap my head around a number that big. Hundreds of beautiful stories. Thousands of listeners. Later this summer, we will reach another milestone: the 7th anniversary of Andy's death—14 years of having Andy here on Earth and 7 years of Andy in heaven. Another concept that is so difficult to comprehend. In today's episode, Gwen plays host and interviews Eric and me as we discuss the podcast and its growth over the past six years. The addition of our videographer, Jen, has been an incredible blessing as she has created beautiful video clips to share on Instagram and...
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"I'm good." This was a common response that Mary Beth's son, Michael, used when he didn't want to do something or go somewhere. "Michael, do you want to come with me?" "I'm good." It almost became a bit of a family joke. After Michael died 18 months ago at 21 years of age, his brother, a talented artist, wrote a cartoon depicting Michael in heaven. In the cartoon, his brother was longing to have Michael back with them, here on earth, with their family, so he called heaven. When Jesus answered the phone, he was asked if he could send Michael back home. Jesus responded, "Let me go ask him."...
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I have long loved Faith's Lodge and, since the early days of the podcast, hoped that someday, I might be able to talk with someone from that wonderful organization. Now, that wish became a reality. Today's guest, Kelly, is not a bereaved mom herself, but she was at the side of her sister when she lost her 12-year-old son, Carter, almost 15 years ago. As I listened to Kelly, I was struck by how instinctively she did so much 'right' after Carter died. Logistically, she handled so much for her sister in those first days and weeks, but perhaps even more importantly, she kept Carter a part of their...
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From the first pages of reading the memoir written by today's guest, Sally McQuillen, I was quite honestly hooked. is an absolutely beautiful story that Sally wrote after losing her 21-year-old son, Christopher, in a boating accident shortly after Christmas. Sally shares that as she raised Christopher, she often found herself worrying about him. Christopher is described as a 'wild child' who suffered from addiction and loved to take risks. He lived every part of his life in a big way. Parenting Christopher was truly a roller coaster ride for Sally and her husband. After losing...
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Today's guest, Teresa Davis, currently goes by another name - . She hosts a podcast that is released twice a week. On the podcast, Teresa works to 'shine a light into the shadows, helping you discover that joy and pain can coexist, and that you can still have a purpose here on earth.' In addition to the podcast, Teresa offers a free grief survival guide, a free grief masterclass, a grief worship playlist, weekly newsletter, monthly support groups, and even one-on-one Grief Mentor sessions. As amazing as all of these things are, however, the thing that I admire most about Teresa is her sharing...
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Today's guest, Michelle, gave me some words of wisdom from her therapist that I will remember forever. Recently, Michelle had an appointment with her counselor and was talking about how her crying was 'not pretty'. The therapist agreed, saying, "No. Crying is not pretty, but when you are crying tears over the loss of your daughter, the tears are beautiful." This makes me think so much about grief in general. I have often described myself over the years as a 'hot mess'. April and August are my 'hot mess' months, April because of Andy's birthday on the 21st, and August due to the anniversary of...
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Weddings. Graduations. Births. Empty Nesting. Divorce. No one would ever say that going through a big transition like this is easy. When reviewing my curriculum for my Starlight Virtual Support group this week, I learned that when people go through any rite of passage during life, their bodies require 20-25 minutes of rest three times a day, or they can get sick. Let's take a second and really think about that - we should rest 20-25 minutes three times a day when facing big life changes. I'm trying to look back to whether I have ever truly put aside time like that when going through big life...
info_outlineToday's guest, Lorraine's young son, AJ, had a smile that would light up a room. Although a heart murmur had been noted at birth, it was thought to have resolved. He was growing and feeding well, and Lorraine had no idea that serious heart abnormality was worsening. The murmur was again noted after a fall at 7 months of age, and AJ was sent to Cardiology where it was determined that AJ suffered from a condition called aortic stenosis. He was scheduled for a cardiac cath to assess the severity of the stenosis.
On the drive to the hospital that morning, Lorraine turned around and AJ gave her one of his famous smiles. That was one of his last smiles because, during the procedure, young AJ's heart stopped. Despite medical interventions, they were unable to save her sweet boy. To say that AJ's parents were horrified would be a vast understatement. The last thing that Lorraine wanted to do was leave her baby boy in a cold hospital morgue.
This is when Martin House Children's Hospice stepped in. When I think of hospice, I think of organizations that help support families whose loved ones are dying. Martin House certainly does this, but it is so much more. The staff from Martin House came to the hospital to take AJ's little body and keep it cool. They allowed his family to stay with him for a full week until they were ready to put him to rest. They offered grief support to Lorraine and her family for a full year. They were everything Lorraine needed when her whole world was falling apart.
In addition to Martin House, Lorraine began listening to the podcast only one month after AJ's death. She says the parents who told their stories on the podcast became her friends and support system. She felt less alone as she listened and she felt herself ever so slowly begin to heal. Now two years after AJ's death, Lorraine works to help other bereaved parents just as she was helped. She is a resource for Martin House helping them learn more about helping parents and now she shares her own story with Always Andy's Mom listeners so they too know that they are not alone.