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ETR (Energy, Time, Resources)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Release Date: 07/26/2021

Shadow Work & The Enneagram (Part 3) show art Shadow Work & The Enneagram (Part 3)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

What is “Shadow Work”? Shadow Work involves digging into the parts of ourselves we've hidden away because they seem too ugly, weird, or unacceptable. This survival tactic might help us through childhood, but it wreaks havoc on our adult lives, leading to inauthenticity.  Shadow Work is about embracing your whole self – the good, the bad, and the ugly – and integrating these parts into your life. The Enneagram and Shadow Work The Enneagram is a powerful tool for understanding our personality and the shadow parts we hide. Each of the nine Enneagram types has qualities that...

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Shadow Work (Part 2) show art Shadow Work (Part 2)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Shadow Work (Part 2)  Today, we're diving into a topic that’s as crucial as it is uncomfortable: authenticity.  Let me set the stage for this podcast. Picture this: a man finds his marriage on the brink of falling apart. He's convinced he's doing everything he "should" do to keep it together, yet he feels like he's constantly falling short. Growing up, he learned that showing certain emotions or traits of himself like being “too excited” or “too hyper” could jeopardize his relationships and get him in trouble with his parents – "boys don't cry," "toughen up," “Good...

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Introducing The Shadow show art Introducing The Shadow

Authentic Men's Group podcast

The Shadow is all those parts of ourselves we’ve shoved into the dark because we were told they’re unacceptable. This is what we call repression – unconsciously hiding these aspects to fit in and feel loved. And no shame. This helped us survive as kids. But as adults, we take it a step further with suppression – consciously choosing to hide these parts, leading to inauthenticity. Resources we mentioned to start engaging in your own shadow work: Book: Podcast:  

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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 4) show art Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 4)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Chapter #7   Suicide The word “”committed” is usually used in the context of crimes.  2016 suicide was ranked the 10thcause of death in the US. Pg 116 men die from suicide 4x more then women.  Pain is a natural reaction to death but suffering is what our mind does to us. 118 Death by suicide is not a selfish act or even a choice. It’s a sign of a mind that needs help. 114 The path to freedom from the suffering caused by our minds is through finding meaning. Pg 118 There are many paths to meaning, and if you search for them, you will eventually find them. 119 Give the...

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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 3) show art Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 3)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning.  What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...

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Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 2) show art Authentic Grief - Finding Meaning in Your After (Part 2)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning.  What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...

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Authentic Grief (Part 1) show art Authentic Grief (Part 1)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

Authentic Grief: Finding Meaning In Your After In this series of podcasts we want to address the topic of grief. Grief is something we all experience so we want to take an authentic look at this shared experience. David Kessler wrote a book as a 6th stage of grieving titled Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief. We will be recording this podcast series as an overview to this book and be inviting you to a conversation about grief and how we can approach it through meaning.  What is Grief? Grief is the response to the loss of something deemed important or essential, particularly to the...

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The Solution to Resolutions (Re-Release) show art The Solution to Resolutions (Re-Release)

Authentic Men's Group podcast

How effective are resolutions?  Do they work?

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Authenticity In An Artificial World Part 2 show art Authenticity In An Artificial World Part 2

Authentic Men's Group podcast

In a culture of “artificial intelligence” and “virtual reality” it can be a challenge to be authentic. In this podcast we continue this conversation and give 4 key factors of how to start unlocking our authentic self.  Michael Kernis and Brian Goldman developed an  They came up with a technical description of authenticity as "the unimpeded operation of one's true or core self in one's daily enterprise." People who score high in authenticity are also more likely to respond to difficulties with effective coping strategies, rather than resorting to drugs, , or...

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Authenticity in the Holidays show art Authenticity in the Holidays

Authentic Men's Group podcast

In this podcast we talk about what it is like to live authentically during the holidays. We reference the 8 qualities and how we personally will look to incorporate these into our holidway experience with friends and family. 8 Qualities of Authenticity:  Curiosity Calm Clarity Connectedness Confidence Courage Creativity Compassion  

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More Episodes

Three things we bring to every relationship.

Energy

Time

Resources

Energy

Definition - The strength and vitality required for sustained physical, emotional or mental activity.  

Tailor your life to things that express and create passion.

Be aware of obsessions and obligations.

Synergy comes from energy.

Rest is a big part of creating energy.

Ask the question,  ‘Is this energy producing or energy draining?’

Every yes is a no to something and every no is a yes to something else.

Time

By being intentional with our time we can direct the intensity of our relationships.

When we set boundaries with our time we honor others and ourselves.

Time is a language it is meant to help us with connection. It is not meant to create stress and obligation. (There’s never enough time) This is a reflection of our priorities, the amount of time in a day. 

Let’s talk about our culture's relationship with time:

  • Time is money.
  • What time is it?
  • How much time do we have left?
  • Do you have time for this?
  • Where did the time go?
  • Spending quality time.
  • Time Flys.
  • Time waits for no one.
  • I’m just killing time.

Two words for time in the ancient Greek language

  1. Chronos - the kind of time measured by a ticking clock or turning the pages on a calendar. It is the time we use as we try to meet deadlines. We cite it in numbers.
  2. Kairos -  represents time in the moment that is opportune. It is mystical time that is experienced in festivals and fantasies and cannot be controlled or possessed.   giving everything into that moment and receiving everything it has to offer. It is here we are to be truly present, not rushing toward the next thing. 

Are you present in your time. 

It is important to determine where we want to be effective and where we want to be efficient.

Effective in the inner relationships, efficient in the outer relationships.

Every yes is a no and every no is a yes. 

Time Budgeting:

For awareness of where our time is going we encourage people to look at their time like they look at their budget. A couple of key components we can borrow from a healthy budget are:

  • Know where our time goes.
  • Pay ourselves first.
  • What we do with our discretionary time is crucial.
  • Invest in long term.

The key is not spending time, it’s investing in it. -Stephen Covey-

Everyone has the same amount of time. 1440 minutes every day. And you get another 1440 every day but you have to spend it today. 

By being intentional with our time we can direct the intensity of our relationships.

When we set boundaries with our time we honor others and ourselves.

We can serve time which sounds more like a prison sentence or allow time to serve us.

Questions to Ask Self: 

  1. Do I know  where my time is going?
  2. How much do I pay myself first with my time every week?
  3. How am I spending my discretionary time?
  4. Who or what am investing in long term?
  5. If I were invest my 1440 minutes today, how would I spend them.

Resources

There are two types of resource, tangible and intangible.

Tangible - Money, cars, houses, 

Intangible - Personality traits, gifts, temperaments

There are three categories of resources

  1. Status - Give us value in the appraisal of others
  2. Stress - Give pressure for ourselves and from others
  3. Service - Give us pleasure for ourselves and to others

Explore what it is like to live a life where resources serve to grant pleasure instead of create pressure.  Pleasure for self to be shared for the pleasure of others. 

Excess turns all gifts into curses

Be present in the purchase.  Ask why?

Do my relationships serve my resources or do my resources serve my relationships?