Episode 39 | Living Rooms are for LIVING
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack what happens when white belief in institutional fairness collides with the lived reality of systemic injustice. Daniella reflects on a moment of betrayal in traffic court and how it cracked open her assumptions about justice, privilege, and whiteness. The conversation weaves through topics like the myth of rule-following as protection, the military's blending of cultural vernaculars, and the unique disorientation white women face when systems stop working for them. They also explore how white women’s fear of “doing it wrong”—especially...
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Episode 38 | Growth Is Uncomfortable
Hey White Women
In this powerful conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca unpack how systems—from the military to corporate culture to parenting ideologies—often rely on cult-like tactics to demand obedience, erase individuality, and sell comfort as a virtue. Together, they examine the roles of love bombing, future faking, and authoritarian control in everyday life, and ask what it means to reclaim personal autonomy after indoctrination. We talk about what happens when you stop waiting for permission, why “just doing what you're told” is a dangerous lesson to teach children, and how...
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Episode 37 | Are Red-Heads Black?
Hey White Women
In this episode of Hey White Women, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca dive into the layered and surprising discourse around a viral TikTok trend that claimed “all redheads are Black.” What starts as a joke becomes a powerful lens for unpacking themes of othering, cultural belonging, and the danger of conformity in white-dominant spaces. The hosts explore how redheaded individuals are often dehumanized through humor, hypersexualization, and alienation—even as whiteness shields them from systemic racism. This conversation becomes a springboard into deeper critiques of whiteness,...
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Episode 36 | Growth Before Activism
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca engage in a deep conversation about the complexities of white supremacy, the importance of listening to Black voices, and the need for white women to confront their own roles in social justice movements. They explore hypothetical scenarios regarding protests, the significance of community, and the dangers of ignoring the perspectives of marginalized groups. The discussion emphasizes the necessity of personal growth and genuine engagement in anti-racism work, while also addressing the cyclical nature of blame and the illusion of safety in activism. ...
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Episode 35 | Colors for Community
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of fashion, identity, and race, discussing how personal expression through clothing can challenge societal norms. They delve into the complexities of navigating whiteness in diverse spaces, the cultural disconnect evident in social interactions, and the significance of color as a form of resistance. The discussion also touches on the importance of critiquing whiteness, understanding cult dynamics through the Byte model, and the value of personal narratives in shaping identity. They emphasize the role of community in fostering...
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Episode 34 | Boom Boom Beige
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of platform building, the evolution of ideas, and the impact of cultural narratives on personal identity. They discuss the importance of vulnerability in leadership, the tenets of white supremacy, and the challenges of navigating capitalism and professionalism. The dialogue emphasizes the significance of shared experiences and the need to reopen historical conversations while addressing the dehumanization inherent in capitalist systems. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of capitalism,...
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Episode 33 | Protest or Parade?
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of race, activism, and the impact of online criticism, particularly on black women. They discuss the intersection of political identity and extremism, the role of white women in social movements, and the importance of listening to marginalized voices. The conversation delves into the dynamics of whiteness in society, the power of storytelling, and the journey of self-discovery in the context of anti-racism. Ultimately, they emphasize the need for community support and the role of women in driving social change. In this...
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Episode 32 | "Lickies and Chewies?"
Hey White Women
This conversation delves into the complexities of race, privilege, and activism, particularly focusing on the experiences of black women and the reactions of white women in the context of social justice. The speakers discuss the historical and current realities of systemic oppression, the implications of language, and the importance of listening and learning from marginalized voices. They also explore the nature of groupthink, the illusion of safety, and the responsibilities of individuals in activism. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of group dynamics, the...
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Episode 31 | Defensiveness and White Identity
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of race, identity, and the dynamics of power within societal structures. They discuss the defensiveness often exhibited by white women in conversations about race, the impact of language, and the role of white women in perpetuating systems of oppression. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of acknowledgment, healing, and the responsibility that comes with privilege. They also touch on the significance of community and the need for open, honest discussions about race and identity. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella...
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Episode 30 | Speaking equitably with confidence
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca delve into the complexities of cult dynamics, particularly focusing on the Nation of Islam. They explore personal experiences with cults, the intersection of race and cults, and the societal responses to these groups. The discussion highlights the role of white women in these conversations, the importance of listening and learning from diverse experiences, and the manipulative tactics employed by cults. The speakers emphasize that conflict can be a necessary part of understanding and navigating these topics, and they advocate for a more nuanced...
info_outlineThis conversation delves into the complexities of race, privilege, and activism, particularly focusing on the experiences of black women and the reactions of white women in the context of social justice. The speakers discuss the historical and current realities of systemic oppression, the implications of language, and the importance of listening and learning from marginalized voices. They also explore the nature of groupthink, the illusion of safety, and the responsibilities of individuals in activism. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of group dynamics, the role of violence in defining group identity, and the generational shifts in work ethic. They discuss the exploitation within economic systems, the challenges of expert opinions, and the importance of listening and respect in public discourse. The conversation also touches on power dynamics, the intersection of gender and race, and the impact of public outrage on accountability. They emphasize the value of community, the expectations of consumer privilege, and the power of silence and reflection in critical thinking.
Connect with Rebecca at:
The White Woman Whisperer Website
The White Woman Whisperer Patreon
The White Woman Whisperer TikTok
Connect with Daniella at:
You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
For more info on me:
Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding
Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured
Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8
Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0
Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_
Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook
Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8
Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJI
Takeaways
- 92% of black women voted for Kamala, highlighting political engagement.
- The disconnect between different communities' experiences of oppression.
- Fear and privilege shape reactions to social issues.
- Language can perpetuate systemic issues and should be examined.
- Cults and control mechanisms exist in societal norms.
- Media and pop culture influence perceptions of reality.
- Understanding systemic issues requires deep reflection and education.
- Human experiences are complex and cannot be simplified.
- Confronting suffering is essential for genuine activism.
- Historical narratives often overlook the contributions of marginalized voices. The struggle with defining good groups is complex.
- Violence often arises from defining outsiders as enemies.
- Generational shifts indicate a wake-up call for work ethics.
- Economic systems exploit individuals, leading to disillusionment.
- Expert opinions should be respected but not blindly followed.
- Public discourse requires careful navigation and respect.
- Listening is crucial in discussions about privilege and power.
- Tough love can be a necessary part of growth and understanding.
- Consumer privilege shapes expectations in public interactions.
- Silence can be a powerful tool for reflection and understanding.
Chapters
00:00 The Political Landscape and Black Women's Voices
03:19 Historical Context of Racism and Government Actions
06:26 The Privilege of Fear and the Reality of Oppression
09:19 Navigating Conversations on Race and Privilege
12:16 The Impact of Language and Terminology
15:22 Cults, Control, and Societal Norms
18:16 The Intersection of Pop Culture and Social Justice
21:11 Understanding Systemic Issues and Personal Responsibility
24:17 The Role of Comfort in Conversations about Race
27:23 The Complexity of Human Experience and Suffering
36:17 The Analogy of Groupthink
39:57 Isolation and Its Effects on Perception
42:01 American Exceptionalism and Historical Narratives
45:01 The Fear of Losing Privilege
46:32 The Illusion of Safety and Comfort
50:03 Dehumanization and the Promise of Safety
51:35 The Disconnect in Conversations about Race
54:33 The Nature of Groups and Membership
57:46 The Desire for Simple Answers
01:00:36 Waking Up to Exploitation
01:02:33 The Government's Role in Exploitation
01:10:58 Navigating Perspectives on Race and Comfort
01:13:22 The Complexity of Binary Thinking
01:16:42 Historical Context and Modern Implications
01:19:02 Power Dynamics and Gender
01:21:59 Public Perception and Media Influence
01:25:05 Engagement and Responsibility in Discourse
01:28:59 Community and Support in Conversations
01:31:53 The Role of Humor and Tough Love
01:36:13 Empowerment Through Understanding and Action
Produced by Haley Phillips