Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness
Release Date: 11/20/2025
Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters
Hey White Women
This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism
Hey White Women
In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 54 | White Rapture Day
Hey White Women
Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) and Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) explore how white American culture is shaped by control, conformity, and suppression of individuality—from the witch trials to modern social norms. They connect white supremacy’s emphasis on stoicism and sameness to military culture, patriarchal family structures, beauty standards, and cult dynamics. Their conversation also unpacks the social coding of “whiteness” as denial of self, contrasting it with cultures where expression, emotion, and difference are normalized. The episode concludes with reflections on...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 53 | It Can Be That Easy
Hey White Women
In this episode, Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (“White Woman Whisperer”) have a deep, layered conversation about deconstructing whiteness, celebrity culture, and over-identification through the lens of Taylor Swift. Daniella shares her personal process of deconstructing her identity as a lifelong Swiftie and connecting it to her broader work dismantling white womanhood and American cultic structures. Rebecca brings in a critical Black feminist lens, exploring the difference between individualism and community, white women’s relationship to innocence and denial, and how...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep52 | Consumer Privilege
Hey White Women
In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of race, consumer privilege, tone policing, and digital labor—particularly how these dynamics play out for women of color online. Rebecca revisits her viral “caption gate” controversy, unpacking how white women often use moralized accessibility language (“just add captions”) as a covert way to assert dominance and demand labor. The two also dissect the cultural discomfort around Black women expressing anger, the dehumanizing expectations placed on female creators, and the myth that public educators or creators owe...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears
Hey White Women
This episode features Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (the “White Woman Whisperer”) unpacking themes of violence, privilege, whiteness, cult dynamics, and the demands placed on public figures to perform morality online. They reflect on recent events, including reactions to political violence and how white Americans process (or avoid processing) martyrdom, policing, and systemic violence. The conversation critiques the idea that “violence is never the answer” as a privileged stance, explores how audiences police creators’ responses to current events, and discusses the...
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White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep50 | Paradox of Proving Yourself
Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (aka “White Woman Whisperer”) explore how cult dynamics show up in the U.S. military, publishing, and everyday systems of power. Daniella shares insights from her forthcoming book Culting of America, reflecting on the accessibility of ideas across mediums (books, documentaries, TikTok), and the challenges of being taken seriously while calling the military a cult. The discussion ranges from personal deconstruction journeys, the paradox of proving oneself, and the caste-like structures of whiteness, to...
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Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness
Hey White Women
This episode brings Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca into a candid conversation about cult dynamics, purity culture, whiteness, and the process of building communities rooted in truth rather than secrecy or shame. They unpack how cult logic—like the weaponization of secrets, unquestioned authority, and worship of the written word—maps onto broader systems like white supremacy and American culture. Daniella reflects on her work writing Uncultured and her upcoming projects, highlighting how her extreme experiences serve as an entry point for others to recognize parallels in their own...
info_outlineThis episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining.
They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty routines) are judged differently depending on race. They connect these issues to deeper historical roots, especially Puritanical cultural norms that suppressed joy, reinforced control, and laid groundwork for modern white American culture.
Other topics include coercive control and its similarities across cults, families, and religious systems; the importance of interrogating one’s own privilege before focusing on others; the challenges white women face when attempting to divest from whiteness; and how joy, play, and authenticity can become acts of resistance. The episode emphasizes that meaningful change requires self-examination, willingness to face conflict, and understanding how white supremacy shapes emotional and cultural norms.
Connect with Rebecca at:
Connect with Daniella at:
Preorder for Culting of America: The Culting of America PRE-SALE (SHIPS BY JANUARY 20, 2026) – Knitting Cult Lady
Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young
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UnAMERICAN Videobook
Key Takeaways
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Camera technology, talk-to-text, and beauty standards are shaped by racial biases rooted in whiteness.
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White women often unintentionally derail or recenter themselves in conversations about racism.
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Tanning, blondness, and beauty labor connect to histories of anti-Blackness and racialized desirability.
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White culture inherited Puritan beliefs that suppress joy and emphasize control, discipline, and emotional restriction.
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Joy is a form of resistance and has long been racialized as “other.”
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Beauty practices for Black women are openly scrutinized, while white women’s beauty labor is expected and invisible.
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Coercive control in cults, families, and religious systems follows the same structural patterns.
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Privilege is best understood through self-reflection rather than attempting to correct others first.
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Deconstructing whiteness and patriarchy can strain relationships, but conflict is part of growth.
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Policing of joy—such as reacting to dancing, noise, or communal gathering—mirrors internal emotional repression.
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Compliments, comments, and “observations” land differently depending on racial dynamics.
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Emotional neutrality and controlled affect are often expectations in white cultural spaces.
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Intergenerational harm often remains unaddressed because families avoid difficult conversations.
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Genuine liberation requires reclaiming joy, curiosity, and authenticity.
Chapters
00:00 Racism in Technology and Media
05:54 Beauty Standards and Cultural Identity
08:45 The Impact of Tanning and Skin Color
11:27 Labor and Beauty Expectations
14:19 Consumerism and Storytelling
17:13 Cultural Appropriation and Subversion
20:06 Teaching Self-Acceptance
22:43 Historical Context of Puritanism
24:34 Cult Dynamics and Historical Context
25:26 The Role of White Motherhood in Society
26:28 Toxic Positivity and Gratitude Expectations
27:24 Joy as Resistance and the Rebellion of Joy
28:23 Cultural Differences in Celebration and Joy
29:22 The Policing of Joy and Whiteness
30:29 The Impact of Control on Personal Expression
31:09 Navigating Humor and Emotional Expression
32:12 The Complexity of Compliments and Racial Dynamics
33:08 The Journey of Self-Discovery and Personal Growth
46:06 Exploring American Fascism
48:54 The Structure of Control: Cults and Narcissism
50:22 Rage and Resilience: Women's Anger in Society
53:36 Navigating Relationships and Growth
56:59 The Journey of Anti-Racism and Personal Growth
59:54 Understanding the Complexity of Identity and Race
01:09:37 Understanding Anti-Blackness and Racism
01:12:37 Language, Identity, and Cultural Nuances
01:15:06 The Dynamics of Correction and Communication
01:17:45 Navigating Relationships and Expectations
01:20:16 The Complexity of Proposals and Societal Norms
01:22:55 The Illusion of Success and Hustle Culture
01:25:15 The Interconnectedness of Race and Identity
01:28:24 The Power of Storytelling and Personal Narratives
Produced by Haley Phillips