Hey White Women
In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca discuss their experiences with cults and the realization that white supremacy is a cult. They explore the stages of leaving a cult and the process of deconstructing white supremacy. They also discuss the concept of white privilege and the need for white people to deprogram from the myth of white supremacy. They highlight the importance of understanding and acknowledging racism and the role of white people in dismantling white supremacy. They also touch on the parallels between cult dynamics and societal systems. The conversation explores the importance of recognizing and dismantling white supremacy within oneself and society. It emphasizes the need for white women to actively engage in anti-racism work and challenge their own biases.
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Episode 13 | There Are No Easy Answers
10/22/2024
Episode 13 | There Are No Easy Answers
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the intersections of entertainment, identity, and societal structures. They discuss the role of whiteness in shaping experiences, the burdens of perfectionism and productivity, and the implications of the cult of entrepreneurship. The conversation delves into the dynamics of social media, the weaponization of secrets, and the importance of community versus group dynamics. They also reflect on the impact of capitalism on human value, the complexities of international relations, and the need for transparency in systems. Ultimately, they emphasize the importance of individuality and the role of women in society, while advocating for a more nuanced understanding of these issues. Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Takeaways Entertainment is a crucial aspect of teaching and content creation. Navigating identity in relation to whiteness can be complex and challenging. Perfectionism and productivity are often burdensome in corporate culture. The cult of entrepreneurship can perpetuate harmful dynamics and expectations. Social media can amplify cult-like behaviors and influence. Secrets can be weaponized to maintain power and control. Community is distinct from groups; it involves individuality and shared experiences. Capitalism often dehumanizes individuals, treating them as resources. Rethinking freedom requires examining societal structures and their implications. Historical figures and their legacies impact contemporary discussions on identity and power. Sound Bites "You are the entertainment." "Know your place aggression." "Rest is productive." Chapters 00:00 The Role of Entertainment in Content Creation 02:26 Navigating Identity and Race 04:50 The Boredom of Whiteness 07:19 The Burden of Productivity 11:58 The Cult of Entrepreneurship 19:28 Influencers and Cult Dynamics 24:28 The Complexity of Credibility 30:15 Understanding Cult Dynamics 36:52 The Tyranny of Definitions 42:21 The Art of Human Connection 48:17 The Cult of Employment 52:06 The Dehumanizing Nature of Systems 54:44 The Impact of Sleep Deprivation on Life 57:50 The Electronic Leash of Work Culture 01:00:53 The Weaponization of Secrets in Governance 01:05:05 Patriarchy and the Culture of Violence 01:09:45 Community vs. Group Dynamics 01:15:02 The Need for Human-Centric Systems
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Episode 12 | Education and Total Institutions (Surprise producer appearance)
10/15/2024
Episode 12 | Education and Total Institutions (Surprise producer appearance)
In this suprise guest episode, the speakers explore the challenges of traditional education, particularly for neurodivergent individuals. They discuss the concept of total institutions and how societal norms can impact personal identity and acceptance. The dialogue shifts to the importance of navigating life beyond conventional paths, embracing change, and redefining expertise. The speakers also touch on the dangers of cult-like structures and apocalyptic thinking in society, emphasizing the need for personal narrative and the evolution of tools in human adaptation. In this conversation, the speakers explore the challenges and opportunities of self-publishing versus traditional publishing, the impact of social media on self-worth, and the complexities of safety and uncertainty in today's world. They discuss the societal expectations surrounding work, the illusion of choice in education, and the importance of community and shared experiences. The conversation also delves into the implications of the worship of the written word, the intersection of race and narrative, and the need to deconstruct societal norms and expectations. Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Takeaways Haley is dropping out of school to pursue her interests. Total institutions can create harmful group norms. Neurodivergent individuals often struggle in structured systems. Acceptance in groups can be superficial and manipulative. Life paths are rarely linear; zigzagging is common. Self-definition is crucial in navigating personal identity. Cults can exploit feelings of rejection and need for belonging. Apocalyptic thinking is prevalent in American culture. New tools can provoke fear but also lead to adaptation. Personal narratives are powerful in shaping identity. Self-publishing offers innovative ways to reach audiences. Social media can create a transactional view of self-worth. Uncertainty does not equate to unsafety. Life expectancy for neurodivergent individuals is alarmingly low. The traditional work ethic is being challenged by younger generations. Education often limits true choice in career paths. Community support is vital for personal growth and understanding. The written word is often revered without questioning its origins. Racial narratives are often shaped by historical biases. Societal norms can be deconstructed for a more inclusive future. Sound Bites "Group norms in total institutions really matter." "The master's tool will not tear down the master's house." Chapters 00:00 Breaking Free from Traditional Education 04:12 Understanding Total Institutions 06:53 The Struggles of Neurodivergence in Structured Systems 09:55 The Complexity of Identity and Acceptance 12:56 Navigating Life Beyond Conventional Paths 15:55 The Challenge of Self-Definition 19:04 The Dangers of Cult-like Structures 22:03 Apocalyptic Thinking in Society 24:53 The Evolution of Tools and Human Adaptation 28:11 The Power of Personal Narrative 31:03 Embracing Change and Uncertainty 33:58 Redefining Expertise and Identity 41:44 Navigating Traditional Publishing vs. Self-Publishing 44:40 The Impact of Social Media on Self-Worth 47:43 Understanding Safety and Uncertainty 50:51 Challenging the Work Culture Paradigm 53:46 The Illusion of Choice in Career Paths 56:35 Redefining Value Beyond Traditional Metrics 59:45 The Role of Education and Societal Expectations 01:02:06 The Power of Community and Shared Experiences 01:05:12 Navigating Conversations on Race and Whiteness 01:08:40 Deconstructing the Worship of the Written Word 01:11:26 The Intersection of Sexuality and Identity 01:21:50 Closing Thoughts on Empowerment and Change
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Episode 11 | The Popular Girls Aren't Happy
10/08/2024
Episode 11 | The Popular Girls Aren't Happy
This conversation explores the complexities of ageism, objectivity, and bias, particularly in relation to race and gender. The speakers discuss the societal perceptions of age, the historical context of bias, and the reinterpretation of myths through feminist lenses. They delve into the impact of gender in combat and leadership roles, the illusion of popularity and happiness, and the flaws of objectivity in society. The discussion also touches on cognitive dissonance, indoctrination, and the intersection of whiteness and objectivity, emphasizing the dangers of extremism and the importance of nuanced conversations in challenging societal norms. Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Takeaways Ageism is perceived differently across communities. Objectivity is often a facade used to assert dominance. Historical narratives are often biased and subjective. Feminist retellings of myths challenge patriarchal perspectives. Gender diversity in leadership enhances effectiveness. The pursuit of popularity does not guarantee happiness. Cognitive dissonance complicates personal beliefs and actions. Indoctrination can occur in various forms, including societal norms. Whiteness often dictates the perception of objectivity. Extremism thrives on the need for certainty and belonging. Sound Bites "Ageism in the black community just doesn't fly." "Objectivity doesn't exist, but it's weaponized." Chapters 00:00 Challenging Perspectives on Ageism and Objectivity 04:08 The Role of Bias in Historical Contexts 07:04 Reinterpreting Myths Through Feminist Lenses 09:59 The Impact of Gender in Combat and Leadership 13:02 The Illusion of Popularity and Happiness 16:04 The Flaws in Measuring Success and Happiness 18:56 Recognizing Red Flags in Relationships and Cults 21:54 The Complexity of Indoctrination and Self-Identity 25:01 The Dangers of Extremism and Objectivity 27:47 The Role of Whiteness in Conflict and Identity 31:04 Navigating Relationships Across Racial Lines 33:50 The Burden of Representation and Identity 36:58 The Importance of Conflict in Personal Growth 39:56 The Role of Emotions in Decision Making 43:06 The Nuances of Anti-Racism and Personal Responsibility 45:58 The Intersection of Trauma and Identity 48:59 The Complexity of Objectivity and Subjectivity 51:55 The Role of Humor and Stereotypes in Society 54:52 The Value of Suffering and Hard Work 57:54 The Need for Change in Leadership Dynamics 01:00:58 The Search for Identity Beyond White Supremacy Produced by Haley Phillips
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Episode 10 | Sunk Cost Fallacy
09/24/2024
Episode 10 | Sunk Cost Fallacy
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella explore the complexities of content creation, the importance of flexibility, and the challenges of navigating societal expectations. They discuss the value of redefining success, the impact of branding on perception, and the role of secrecy in both corporate and cult environments. The conversation also delves into the sunk cost fallacy, the dangers of objectivity in data interpretation, and the intersection of gender and power dynamics, ultimately highlighting how cults can appeal to individuals during times of social turmoil. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the complexities of identity, societal structures, and personal growth. They discuss the unsettling nature of disability, the validation that comes from education, and the cognitive dissonance experienced in toxic environments. The dialogue emphasizes the importance of recognizing sunk cost fallacies in life choices and the potential for systemic change through collective action. They also touch on redefining success and the joy of personal transformation, all while advocating for mutual support and understanding in the face of societal challenges. Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Takeaways Navigating the content creator space is challenging due to societal expectations Flexibility in work schedules is a highly valued luxury. Success can be redefined beyond traditional metrics. Branding can significantly influence public perception and engagement. Secrecy in organizations can both empower and control individuals. Understanding the sunk cost fallacy can help in making better decisions. Objectivity in data can be manipulated to serve specific narratives. Gender dynamics play a crucial role in power structures. Cults often emerge during periods of social instability, offering false promises of safety. Empowerment comes from recognizing and challenging oppressive systems. Disabled people make us face our own vulnerabilities. Education can serve as a form of validation and identity. Degrees are just fancy receipts of validation. Cognitive dissonance can lead to personal growth. Leaving toxic systems is often the best choice. It only takes a small percentage of people to create systemic change. Redefining success is crucial for personal fulfillment. The joy in suffering is a false narrative. We can all advocate for each other in meaningful ways. Talking about our experiences is a powerful tool for change. Sound Bites "It cost me more than just money to do this." "There is nothing more luxurious than a flexible schedule." "You can do something with your brain." "Disabled people make us face our own vulnerabilities." "It's a lie that if you play the game right, everything is perfect." "Degrees are just fancy receipts of validation." Chapters 00:00 Navigating Content Creation Challenges 03:24 The Value of Flexibility and Freedom 06:32 Defying Norms in Creative Spaces 09:37 Rebranding and Identity in the Digital Age 12:25 The Role of Secrecy in Cultures and Corporations 15:21 The Sunk Cost Fallacy and Personal Growth 18:29 Challenging Patriarchal Structures 21:33 The Illusion of Objectivity in Business 24:29 Women in Leadership and Corporate Scams 27:29 Consumerism and Financial Control 30:31 Creating New Narratives in Publishing 35:53 Challenging Historical Norms 38:50 The Impact of Discrimination 41:42 Cults and Social Structures 47:55 Navigating Identity and Experience 51:56 Sunk Cost Fallacy in Life Choices 58:05 Cognitive Dissonance and Cult Dynamics 01:03:47 Redefining Success and Happiness 01:07:49 The Cost of Staying in Toxic Systems 01:12:01 The Power of Collective Change 01:17:20 The Importance of Open Conversations
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Episode 9 | Language of White Supremacy
09/17/2024
Episode 9 | Language of White Supremacy
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca explore the intersections of cult dynamics, whiteness, and gender, discussing how personal experiences shape broader societal issues. They delve into the importance of language, the exit costs of leaving cults, and the power of storytelling. The discussion emphasizes the need for community support, the role of silence in conversations, and the challenges of navigating identity and intersectionality. They also reflect on the impact of personal narratives on societal change and the importance of inclusivity and representation in various spaces. Books: Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Takeaways Cults often use language to control and manipulate individuals. Personal hobbies can intersect with political discussions. Gender dynamics affect everyday interactions and experiences. Leaving a cult involves significant emotional and social costs. Storytelling is a powerful tool for understanding and healing. Silence can be both a protective and a harmful force in conversations. Objectivity in data can be misleading; personal narratives matter. Community support is crucial for personal empowerment. Inclusivity requires active participation and acknowledgment of diverse voices. Reimagining life beyond traditional structures can lead to personal freedom. Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 03:39 Challenges Faced by Women 06:44 The Language of White Supremacy 12:45 The High Costs of Leaving Cults 26:18 Silencing and Performative Regulation 37:44 The Power of Community and Inclusivity 41:34 Challenges and Risks of Speaking Out 47:41 White Women's Role in Amplifying Marginalized Voices 52:06 Learning from Mistakes and Acknowledging Growth 57:23 The Power of Language and Storytelling 01:03:13 Challenging Societal Norms and Expectations 01:07:27 Prioritizing Self-Care and Personal Growth 01:12:02 Empowering Individuals to Create Change 01:14:56 Recognizing the Limitations of Objectivity 01:17:22 Finding Your Own Path and Creating Your Own Rules Produced by Haley Phillips
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Episode 8 | White Supremacy in the Cult of Corporate America
09/10/2024
Episode 8 | White Supremacy in the Cult of Corporate America
The conversation explores the themes of color, PowerPoint culture, repetitiveness of work, cult-like aspects of organizations, the need for individuality, the impact of white supremacy, and the power of democratized knowledge. In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the loaded language around the word 'racist' and the fragility and volatility that white people often exhibit when confronted with accusations of racism. They emphasize the importance of deconstructing belief systems and actively working to dismantle white supremacy. They also explore the concept of traumalages, the blending of personal traumas and privileges that shape individual perspectives and abilities. The conversation touches on the need to acknowledge and address the impacts of systems of power, the role of language in maintaining control, and the necessity of storytelling and sharing human experiences to effect change. Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Takeaways Color can be a contentious issue in different contexts, such as the military and personal preferences. PowerPoint culture in organizations can be excessive and repetitive, leading to a cult-like environment. The repetitiveness of work and the pressure to conform can be draining and hinder individuality. White supremacy and its influence on systems and organizations can limit diversity and perpetuate harmful practices. The democratization of knowledge through platforms like TikTok challenges traditional power structures and allows for diverse voices to be heard. The word 'racist' carries a heavy and loaded connotation, particularly for white people, who often exhibit fragility and volatility when confronted with accusations of racism. Deconstructing belief systems and actively working to dismantle white supremacy is a necessary and ongoing process. Traumalages, the blending of personal traumas and privileges, shape individual perspectives and abilities, and acknowledging and addressing the impacts of systems of power is crucial. Language plays a significant role in maintaining control, and storytelling and sharing human experiences are powerful tools for effecting change. Sound Bites "Don't you dare put pink on a slide." "How American to hand over all of our communication to this." "The corporate hatred of individuality" "There's this heaviness only with white people, because it's interesting. I thought about like black people rarely will call someone racist, like in everyday life." "White people always hear you are racist and then they flip a switch. I call it like more instead of fragility, I see it more as volatility." "I very organically have a much more diverse following. And I was like, looking at that, and I was like, hey, look at that. Like, that means I've done some good work in the past two years." Chapters 00:00 Color and Conformity 02:06 PowerPoint Culture and Cult-Like Aspects 03:33 The Impact of Work and Motivation 04:43 The Democratization of Knowledge and Power Structures 08:52 Standardized Interviews and Expertise 11:44 Whiteness and White Supremacy in Organizations 41:43 Deconstructing Belief Systems 42:38 Confronting Toxic Systems and Acknowledging Privilege 53:45 The Power of Storytelling and Language 01:05:55 Inclusion and Exclusion: The Role of Language 01:10:20 Accepting and Considering Different Perspectives
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Episode 7 | The Undergarments of Control
09/03/2024
Episode 7 | The Undergarments of Control
The conversation explores the topic of underwear and its role in control and oppression. It delves into the societal expectations and policing of women's bodies, the arbitrary nature of professionalism, and the intersection of underwear with race and gender. The discussion also touches on the history of underwear, the influence of capitalism and consumerism, and the connection between underwear and abuse in cults. Overall, the conversation highlights the ways in which underwear is used as a tool for control and the need to challenge societal norms and expectations. The conversation explores various topics related to identity, race, and gender. It touches on issues such as colorism, body image, breastfeeding in public, and the challenges faced by women in the military. The speakers discuss the infantilization and sexualization of women, the pressure to conform to societal expectations, and the importance of understanding and acknowledging one's own privilege. They also highlight the need for white women to listen and learn from marginalized communities, rather than trying to prove their goodness or uniqueness. In this final part of the conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the insidious nature of white supremacy and the need for white people to trust Black people's awareness of racism. They also explore the importance of questioning societal norms and expectations, such as appearance control and underwear requirements. They emphasize the need for white people to deconstruct white supremacy and opt out of the game, leading to true freedom, joy, and friendship. Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Takeaways Underwear is often used as a tool for control and oppression, with societal expectations and policing of women's bodies. The concept of professionalism is arbitrary and can be used to marginalize and exclude certain individuals. The history of underwear reveals the influence of capitalism and consumerism, as well as the infantilization of sexuality in society. Underwear can be connected to abuse in cults, where it is used as a means of control and surveillance. Challenging societal norms and expectations around underwear is important for promoting body autonomy and dismantling oppressive systems. Colorism and body image issues are prevalent in society, leading to the infantilization and sexualization of women. Breastfeeding in public is still stigmatized, despite laws protecting a woman's right to do so. Women in the military face challenges related to uniform fit, gender expectations, and stereotypes. White women should listen and learn from marginalized communities, rather than trying to prove their goodness or uniqueness. White people need to trust Black people's awareness of racism and understand that they know more about racism than white people do. Questioning societal norms and expectations, such as appearance control and underwear requirements, is essential in deconstructing white supremacy. White people should opt out of the game of white supremacy and embrace true freedom, joy, and community. Deconstructing white supremacy takes time and ongoing work, and it is a continuous process of learning and unlearning. The goal is not to be obsessed as white people, but to challenge and dismantle white supremacy for a more equitable society. Sound Bites "The history of colonization is just white men going around the world and telling brown and black women to cover up their boobs." "Professionalism is not a real thing, right? Like right now, I'm here with a straight, like remains of a blowout, Rebecca has natural hair. Your hair is not more professional than my hair." "I know Victoria's Secret is like a dude made her up. But like how much have we all suffered because of that?" "That's another part that makes it more racist and more infantilized." "The death of these cults is the knowledge of them." "Every state in America, you are allowed to breastfeed your child in public." "You have to also trust black people's awareness of you more than your understanding of where you are and how they're perceived." "The way that you go make black friends is doing the work to come out of the cult of white supremacy." "We have been told for our entire culture that black men are the most likely to hurt us." Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Moving Away from Bras and Pantyhose 06:39 The Control and Policing of Women's Bodies Through Underwear 10:29 The Discomfort and Privilege of Wearing Bras 13:33 Appearance Control and White Supremacy 17:38 The Arbitrary Nature of Professionalism 21:31 Underwear as a Tool of Control: Historical and Cultural Perspectives 25:31 Consumerism and Societal Expectations 30:40 Colorism, Body Image, and the Infantilization of Women 32:37 The Stigma of Breastfeeding in Public 36:41 The Need to Be Seen and Heard 39:39 The Dangers of Trying to Be the 'Special' White Person 44:28 Empathy, Inclusivity, and Recognizing Individual Experiences 01:00:30 Introduction and Latin Credentials 01:04:48 Conduct Standards and Appearance Control 01:06:49 Resistance and Opposition to the System 01:10:10 Identity vs. Anti-Identity 01:12:31 Underwear Control and Prescribing Behavior 01:16:44 The Game of Whiteness and Opting Out 01:19:49 Femininity and Masculinity 01:22:37 The Decade of Deconstruction 01:26:05 Questioning and Challenging Societal Norms 01:28:47 The Freedom of Breaking Free Produced By: Haley Phillips
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Episode 6 | Body Coverage
08/27/2024
Episode 6 | Body Coverage
In this conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the concept of body coverage as a form of appearance control in cults and white supremacy. They explore the loaded language and thought-stopping cliches used to enforce modesty and control women's bodies. They also touch on the intersection of race and body coverage, highlighting the policing of black women's bodies and the privileging of white beauty standards. The conversation delves into the influence of cult language and the importance of challenging and deconstructing these harmful ideologies. The conversation explores the limitations placed on professional women in terms of appearance, the power of language, and the impact of beauty standards. It delves into the intersectionality of race and gender, the control and behavior prescriptions imposed by appearance standards, and the need for representation and diverse perspectives in positions of power. The discussion also touches on the troubled teen industry, the importance of storytelling and language, and the potential for change in the political landscape. The conversation explores the themes of identity, white supremacy, misogyny, and the pressure to conform to societal expectations. It delves into the experiences of being a woman and the challenges faced in navigating patriarchal systems. The speakers discuss the importance of self-acceptance and finding one's own mission in life. They also touch on the power dynamics within cults and the need to redefine success on one's own terms. Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Takeaways Body coverage is a form of appearance control used in cults and white supremacy to enforce modesty and control women's bodies. Loaded language and thought-stopping cliches are used to shut down critical discussion and maintain the status quo. The policing of black women's bodies and the privileging of white beauty standards are examples of how body coverage intersects with race. Challenging and deconstructing harmful ideologies is essential for dismantling systems of oppression. Appearance standards for professional women can be limiting and reinforce patriarchal norms. Language is a powerful tool that can be used to attack or empower. Beauty standards are often about controlling women and prescribing behavior. Intersectionality is important in understanding the experiences of different groups. Representation and diverse perspectives are crucial in positions of power. The troubled teen industry and its impact on individuals' lives is a significant issue. Storytelling and language play a role in shaping our understanding of the world. Change is possible, and it requires challenging existing systems and norms. Identity is complex and can be defined by both what it is and what it is not. White identity is often defined by not being black, while black identity is not defined by not being white. Societal pressure often leads to black people being marginalized and white people feeling the need to defend their identity. Misogyny and sexism are not the same as hating men; they are about opposing harmful beliefs and behaviors. Criticism and judgment from others should not dictate one's self-worth or define their mission in life. The pursuit of success should be redefined on one's own terms, rather than relying on external validation or societal expectations. Sound Bites "Body coverage is a big thing in cults, right?" "White privilege is such a loaded term" "White privilege is a thought-stopping cliche" "So often the first response is just to attack because language is so primal and fundamental to us as humans." "People have no clue what I'm doing. And you could tell, because they're just so upset that I would name myself White Woman Whisperer, that I would even address white women and not be one because then they're so confused." "People say Swifties are a cult. I'm like, what are they against?" "Whiteness has always been, we can't live with you and we can't live without you." "What I hate is misogyny and sexism, and I love men that aren't that." Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Yarn Discussion 01:18 Deconstructing White Supremacy and Cults 05:15 The Power of Language and Loaded Terms 10:34 Thought-Stopping Cliches and White Privilege 14:16 Questioning and Challenging Language 16:16 Creating Spaces for Marginalized Voices 17:59 The Art of Knitting: Patience and Practice 18:25 Body Coverage in Cults: Appearance Control and Conformity 25:46 Policing Black Women's Sexuality: Stereotypes and Double Standards 31:58 The Evolution of Beauty Standards: Tools for Control 36:04 Self-Acceptance and Challenging Societal Norms 39:57 The Intersectionality of Identity and Appearance Control 41:45 Challenging Stereotypes and Expectations in the Military 46:20 The Power Dynamics of White Supremacy and Patriarchy 48:58 The Importance of Diverse Perspectives in Positions of Power 52:13 Valuing Lived Experiences alongside Formal Qualifications 57:58 Rethinking Traditional Games and Systems 01:07:11 Reevaluating Goals and Finding New Missions 01:07:57 The Importance of Self-Care and Self-Acceptance 01:11:30 Defining Success on Your Own Terms
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Episode 5 | Kamala Harris and The Glass Cliff
08/20/2024
Episode 5 | Kamala Harris and The Glass Cliff
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the representation of women and people of color in politics, particularly focusing on Kamala Harris. They explore the excitement and hope that Harris's candidacy brings, while also acknowledging the challenges and limitations that come with being a Black woman in a position of power. They emphasize the importance of not expecting one person to represent an entire demographic and the need to address anti-Blackness and white feminism. The conversation also touches on the concept of the glass cliff and the ongoing process of deconstructing white supremacy. In this part of the conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the challenges faced by women and minorities in positions of power. They highlight the need for multiple individuals from a given minority demographic to have a voice and not be pitted against each other. They also discuss the importance of being an accomplice rather than just an ally in the fight against racism. They touch on the power dynamics between white women and black women, the role of white women in dismantling white supremacy, and the need for white men to educate themselves and call out their friends. They also discuss the concept of white women tears and the importance of believing and listening to black women's experiences. They emphasize the need to question and challenge the sense of urgency imposed by white supremacy and coercive control. In this final part of the conversation, Rebecca and Daniella discuss the importance of privacy and the ways in which lack of privacy can be used as a means of breaking people down. They also explore the concept of self-sealing systems and how society has given over its agency to the system itself. They discuss the potential impact of having a Black woman in a position of power, such as Kamala Harris as Vice President, and the need for white women to take responsibility for their own actions and challenge white supremacy. They emphasize the importance of believing people's experiences and not trying to relate or invalidate their perspectives. They also discuss the power of silence and active listening in conversations about race and gender. Links: Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Takeaways The representation of women and people of color in politics is important and brings excitement and hope. It is crucial to recognize the challenges and limitations that come with being a Black woman in a position of power. Expecting one person to represent an entire demographic is unfair and unrealistic. Addressing anti-Blackness and white feminism is essential in promoting true inclusivity and equality. The concept of the glass cliff highlights the tendency to put women and minorities in leadership roles during difficult times. Deconstructing white supremacy is an ongoing process that requires self-reflection and education. Women and minorities in positions of power often face challenges and are pitted against each other. Being an accomplice, rather than just an ally, is important in the fight against racism. White women have a role in dismantling white supremacy and should educate themselves and call out their friends. Believing and listening to black women's experiences is crucial. Questioning and challenging the sense of urgency imposed by white supremacy is necessary. Lack of privacy can be used as a means of breaking people down and is often a demand in systems that seek to control and enforce power. Society has given over its agency to the system itself, resulting in a self-sealing system that perpetuates harmful ideologies and structures. Having a Black woman in a position of power, such as Kamala Harris as Vice President, can bring a different perspective and potentially lead to important conversations and changes. White women need to take responsibility for their own actions and challenge white supremacy, rather than relying on Black women to educate and inform them. Believing people's experiences, particularly when it comes to race and gender, is crucial for fostering understanding and empathy. Silence and active listening can create space for deeper connection and learning in conversations about race and gender. Sound Bites "Everybody feels like they're being represented now in this election." "The excitement that it has brought has been incredible." "We also know how we get treated and how we are spoken to." "They are not against each other, they are pitted against each other." "I'm so scared for her, right? Like she is going to, just in the election season alone, she is going to have so much misogynoir thrown at her that it is gonna be painful." "Stop saying you're an ally. It's not about being an ally. It's about being an accomplice." "No! That is the widest thing I have ever - Ugh! A creepy hunk to check your underwear!" "It's so creepy, it's so creepy. That's also how purity culture goes into, you know, pedophilia and sexual harassment." "Demanding immediate answers, constantly surveilling people, or having purity requirements are means of breaking people down and do not have legitimate reasons." Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Representation in the 2020 Election 03:52 The Glass Cliff: Challenges Faced by Women and Minorities in Leadership 08:51 Centering Anti-Blackness and the Role of White Women 13:43 The Significance of Having a Woman in the White House 20:56 From Allies to Accomplices: Dismantling White Supremacy 34:01 Understanding White Supremacy and Allyship 38:58 Challenging Societal Norms and Holding Yourself Accountable 46:40 The Impact of Surveillance and Purity Requirements 01:00:20 The Power of Transformational Leadership and Diverse Perspectives 01:07:12 The Potential Impact of a Woman in the White House 01:14:46 The Intersectionality of Gender and Race 01:19:03 The Importance of Listening and Slowing Down 01:26:40 Fair Compensation for Podcast Production 01:27:20 The Importance of Representation in Various Industries
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Episode 4 | Body Size Control
08/06/2024
Episode 4 | Body Size Control
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the concept of deconstruction and how it relates to body size and white supremacy. They share personal stories and insights about the control and manipulation of appearance in cults and society. They explore the impact of body size on self-worth and the harmful effects of societal beauty standards. The conversation highlights the need for self-reflection and the ongoing work required to challenge and dismantle these harmful ideologies. The conversation explores various aspects of control and coercion, particularly in relation to body size, bathroom control, and workplace dynamics. It delves into the ways in which control is exerted in different contexts, such as cults, corporate America, and educational environments. The discussion also touches on the weaponization of compliments and the societal pressure to conform to certain body standards. The importance of reclaiming agency and challenging societal norms is emphasized throughout the conversation. Links: Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Takeaways Deconstruction involves tearing things apart to create new solutions and solve problems. Body size is often used as a tool for control and manipulation in cults and society. Societal beauty standards perpetuate harmful ideologies and negatively impact self-worth. Challenging and dismantling white supremacy requires ongoing self-reflection and work. Emotional labor and the control of appearance are interconnected aspects of oppressive systems. Control and coercion can manifest in various aspects of life, including body size, bathroom control, and workplace dynamics. Societal norms and expectations around body size and appearance can be oppressive and contribute to fatphobia and body shaming. Compliments can be used as a form of control and can perpetuate harmful beauty standards. Reclaiming agency and challenging societal norms is essential for personal empowerment and dismantling oppressive systems. Recognizing and questioning systems of control and coercion is crucial for creating a more equitable and inclusive society. Sound Bites "When you tear things apart, when you spend the time deconstructing things, you come up with ways to create new things and to solve problems." "It's not like you have good intention and all of a sudden, boom, we are not racist anymore." "The idea of fat became inherently a negative word... unless you believe we're all supposed to look and be the same." "Bathroom control is another thing that we always see in coercive control." "This woman's a cult leader." "Kids are the new slaves that we just treat." Chapters 00:00 Deconstructing and Creating 05:40 The Control of Appearance 13:38 Bathroom Control and Emotional Labor 20:04 The Dehumanization of Children 43:38 The Value of Physical Presence in the Workplace 46:05 The Pressure to Conform to Body Size Ideals 52:28 The Role of Compliments and Jokes in Body Control 54:32 Valuing People Beyond Their Physical Appearance
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Episode 3 | Oops, I Married a White Supremacist
07/23/2024
Episode 3 | Oops, I Married a White Supremacist
In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the impact of white supremacy and cult-like behavior on their lives. Daniella shares her personal experience of being married to a white supremacist and how it made her reflect on her own identity and choices. They explore the pressure to conform to societal expectations and the importance of embracing individuality. They also discuss the power of self-expression and the need to challenge the norms imposed by white supremacy. The conversation explores the themes of freedom, perfectionism, chasing success, self-sacrifice, and the cult-like nature of societal systems. It emphasizes the importance of individuality, self-acceptance, and finding joy outside of traditional measures of success. The speakers discuss the impact of white supremacy, the worship of the written word, and the exploitation of labor. They also highlight the value of authentic conversations, real relationships, and the ability to create one's own path. The conversation ends with a discussion on the power of analogies and the accessibility of knowledge. Links: Connect with Rebecca at: Connect with Daniella at: Uncultured by Daniella Mestyanek Young UnAMERICAN Keywords white supremacy, cults, identity, conformity, individuality, self-expression, freedom, perfectionism, chasing success, self-sacrifice, cult-like systems, individuality, self-acceptance, joy, white supremacy, exploitation of labor, authentic conversations, real relationships, creating one's own path, analogies, accessibility Takeaways White supremacy and cult-like behavior can have a profound impact on individuals' lives and identities. Conforming to societal expectations can lead to a loss of individuality and self-expression. Embracing one's true identity and challenging societal norms is a powerful act of resistance. Self-reflection and awareness are crucial in deconstructing the influence of white supremacy and cults. Freedom is being accepted for who you are and having the ability to present yourself authentically. Chasing success and perfectionism can be futile and lead to a never-ending cycle of striving. Societal systems often exploit labor and devalue work that cannot be quantified. Recognizing and challenging the cult-like aspects of societal systems is crucial for personal growth and well-being. Authentic conversations and real relationships are essential for personal and societal transformation. Analogies can be powerful tools for understanding complex concepts and making knowledge accessible. Sound Bites "Deconstructing white supremacy like the cult that it is" "I only find out about this... nine years before" "I thought that was what I was supposed to do... because I didn't even really, I think, understand the concept of individuality and individual identity" "I'm gonna wear whatever I want for the rest of my life." "Perfectionism was my heroin addiction." "Chasing success is kind of futile at some point." Chapters 00:00 Introduction and Background 04:01 Unveiling the Intersection of White Supremacy and Cults 12:18 The Pressure to Conform: Losing Personal Identity 20:16 Challenging White Supremacy through Open Conversations 26:32 Embracing Personal Authenticity: Breaking Societal Norms 36:19 Embracing Individuality and Freedom 38:32 The Dangers of Perfectionism 40:48 The Pursuit of Success and Its Pitfalls 47:15 Exploitation of Labor and Cult-like Systems 54:30 Authentic Conversations and Relationships 01:07:16 Creative Projects as a Means of Empowerment
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Episode 2 | White Women and Black Hair: Bridging the Gap
07/23/2024
Episode 2 | White Women and Black Hair: Bridging the Gap
The conversation explores the significance of hair in relation to coercive control, dehumanization, and racism. The hosts discuss the experience of having their hair touched without consent and the emotional journey of embracing natural hair. They highlight the lack of consent and respect in interactions between white women and black women regarding hair. The conversation also touches on the impact of compliments and the importance of language when discussing these issues. Overall, the conversation sheds light on the deep-rooted biases and discrimination surrounding hair and the need for awareness and understanding. The conversation explores the impact of appearance control and surveillance on individuals, particularly focusing on hair and body size. It highlights how these standards are influenced by white supremacy and how they contribute to the dehumanization and objectification of marginalized groups. The discussion also touches on the intersectionality of appearance standards in different contexts, such as the military and corporate America. The hosts emphasize the importance of reclaiming personal style and rejecting societal expectations to truly know oneself. Connect with Rebecca at: Website: Patreon: TikTok: @white_woman_whisperer Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal TikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoung Instagram: Youtube: UnAMERICAN Get the book: "A propulsive memoir delivered in the honest tones of a woman who didn't always think she'd live to tell her story." --NYT See a Sample Chapter in See a Sample Chapter in Words in: & Get a copy of UNCULTURED: , , or or preorder the as a holiday gift for a friend. Get an Autographed copy here: Takeaways Hair is a critical aspect of coercive control and dehumanization. Interactions between white women and black women regarding hair often lack consent and respect. Compliments about hair can be problematic and should be examined for underlying biases. Language plays a crucial role in discussing hair-related issues. There is a need for awareness and understanding of the deep-rooted biases and discrimination surrounding hair. Constant surveillance and appearance control have detrimental effects on individuals, including dehumanization and objectification. Standards of beauty and professionalism are often influenced by white supremacy and perpetuate discrimination and inequality. Reclaiming personal style and rejecting societal expectations is essential for self-discovery and empowerment. Intersectionality plays a significant role in how appearance standards are enforced and experienced in different contexts. Recognizing privilege and challenging stereotypes are crucial steps towards creating a more inclusive and equitable society. Sound Bites "White women's pearls: Clutching pearls to calm ourselves down" "Hair is critical in coercive control and dehumanization" "Being called in is not an attack" "There's a reason that constant surveillance is a form of torture and of breaking people." "I battle with some of those things, obviously, still. The internalized anti-blackness that I felt towards myself for so long just for having the hair I have." "Your time in the military gets harder. And when certain men don't understand this, I can just lean into them and say, aren't you short? And immediately they get it." Chapters 00:00 Introduction and the Concept of Clutching Pearls 08:38 Hair as a Form of Coercive Control 15:08 Challenging Microaggressions and Defending Personal Boundaries 28:12 The Emotional Journey of Embracing Natural Hair 33:34 The Significance of Hair in Relation to White Supremacy 39:36 Creating a Safe and Inclusive Environment for Discussions about Hair and Race 41:13 The Impact of Hair on Identity 43:23 Internalized Anti-Blackness and Beauty Standards 48:56 Hair Discrimination in the Military 52:43 Professionalism and Conformity 01:03:28 Challenging Beauty Standards 01:17:03 HWW Intro 16x9.mp4
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The Myth of White Supremacy and the Process of Deprogramming
07/23/2024
The Myth of White Supremacy and the Process of Deprogramming
In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca discuss their experiences with cults and the deconstruction of white supremacy. They explore the stages of leaving a cult and the process of deprogramming from the myth of white supremacy. They also touch on topics such as privilege, racism, and the impact of cult dynamics on society. The conversation highlights the need for self-reflection, questioning societal norms, and working towards equality. In this conversation, Daniella and Rebecca discuss the importance of self-reflection and deconstructing the systems of white supremacy and patriarchy. They emphasize the need for white women to recognize their privilege and actively work to dismantle oppressive systems. They also discuss the power of vulnerability and the role of social media in spreading awareness and creating change. The conversation touches on topics such as the cult-like nature of societal systems, the challenges of living authentically within capitalism, and the role of art and creativity in personal growth. Connect with Rebecca at: Website: Patreon: TikTok: @white_woman_whisperer Connect with Daniella at: Daniella's Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/GroupBehaviorGal TikTok: @daniellamestyanekyoung Instagram: Youtube: UnAMERICAN Get the book: "A propulsive memoir delivered in the honest tones of a woman who didn't always think she'd live to tell her story." --NYT See a Sample Chapter in See a Sample Chapter in Words in: & Get a copy of UNCULTURED: , , or or preorder the as a holiday gift for a friend. Get an Autographed copy here: Takeaways There are three stages of leaving a cult: waking up, cracking the brainwashing, and physically and mentally leaving the cult. Deconstructing from the myth of white supremacy requires a process of deprogramming that can take years. White supremacy is like a cult, and deconstructing it involves questioning societal norms and recognizing the impact of privilege and racism. Cult dynamics, such as the need to defend the good intentions of the group, can be observed in white supremacy and other systems of oppression. Recognizing and challenging the sacred assumptions of white supremacy is essential for dismantling the system and creating equality. Recognize and reflect on your own privilege and the systems of white supremacy and patriarchy that perpetuate inequality. Challenge and dismantle oppressive systems by actively working to create change. Embrace vulnerability and use your voice to spread awareness and inspire others to take action. Question and deconstruct your own beliefs and behaviors to ensure they align with your values and promote equality. Find ways to live authentically and resist the pressures of capitalism and societal expectations. Use art and creativity as a means of personal growth and self-expression. Sound Bites "White supremacy is like a booger" "White supremacy starts radicalizing you the second you set foot here" "Deconstructing white supremacy is a process of self-reflection and questioning" "Hey, black women, if you're alone in a conference room and someone's about to walk in and it's gonna be a white person, would you rather be a white man or a white woman?" "White women are the men of women." "Once you can name it, you can fix it." Chapters 00:00Introduction and Background 02:32Growing Up in Diverse Communities and Discovering Cult Dynamics 05:22Creating Safe Spaces for Black People to Share with White People 07:49Leaving Seattle and Deconstructing White Supremacy 10:11White Supremacy as a Booger and Challenging Sacred Assumptions 13:07The Radicalization of White Supremacy and Deconstructing Beauty Standards 20:49The Interconnectedness of Patriarchy and White Supremacy 25:01The Need to Stack Rank and the Impact of White Supremacy 28:18Questioning the Cult of Capitalism and Valuing Humanization 31:04The Con of White Supremacy and the Benefits of Equality 37:02The Power of Vulnerability and Spreading Awareness 48:56Living Authentically and Resisting Capitalism 53:28Art and Creativity as Tools for Personal Growth
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