Libsyn Directory

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears

Release Date: 10/03/2025

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness

Hey White Women

This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters

Hey White Women

This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism

Hey White Women

In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 54 | White Rapture Day

Hey White Women

Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) and Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) explore how white American culture is shaped by control, conformity, and suppression of individuality—from the witch trials to modern social norms. They connect white supremacy’s emphasis on stoicism and sameness to military culture, patriarchal family structures, beauty standards, and cult dynamics. Their conversation also unpacks the social coding of “whiteness” as denial of self, contrasting it with cultures where expression, emotion, and difference are normalized. The episode concludes with reflections on...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 53 | It Can Be That Easy

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (“White Woman Whisperer”) have a deep, layered conversation about deconstructing whiteness, celebrity culture, and over-identification through the lens of Taylor Swift. Daniella shares her personal process of deconstructing her identity as a lifelong Swiftie and connecting it to her broader work dismantling white womanhood and American cultic structures. Rebecca brings in a critical Black feminist lens, exploring the difference between individualism and community, white women’s relationship to innocence and denial, and how...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep52 | Consumer Privilege

Hey White Women

In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella explore the intersections of race, consumer privilege, tone policing, and digital labor—particularly how these dynamics play out for women of color online. Rebecca revisits her viral “caption gate” controversy, unpacking how white women often use moralized accessibility language (“just add captions”) as a covert way to assert dominance and demand labor. The two also dissect the cultural discomfort around Black women expressing anger, the dehumanizing expectations placed on female creators, and the myth that public educators or creators owe...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears

Hey White Women

White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | ep50 | Paradox of Proving Yourself

Hey White Women

In this conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (aka “White Woman Whisperer”) explore how cult dynamics show up in the U.S. military, publishing, and everyday systems of power. Daniella shares insights from her forthcoming book Culting of America, reflecting on the accessibility of ideas across mediums (books, documentaries, TikTok), and the challenges of being taken seriously while calling the military a cult. The discussion ranges from personal deconstruction journeys, the paradox of proving oneself, and the caste-like structures of whiteness, to...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep49 | Un-Gaslighting Whiteness

Hey White Women

This episode brings Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca into a candid conversation about cult dynamics, purity culture, whiteness, and the process of building communities rooted in truth rather than secrecy or shame. They unpack how cult logic—like the weaponization of secrets, unquestioned authority, and worship of the written word—maps onto broader systems like white supremacy and American culture. Daniella reflects on her work writing Uncultured and her upcoming projects, highlighting how her extreme experiences serve as an entry point for others to recognize parallels in their own...

More Episodes

This episode features Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (the “White Woman Whisperer”) unpacking themes of violence, privilege, whiteness, cult dynamics, and the demands placed on public figures to perform morality online. They reflect on recent events, including reactions to political violence and how white Americans process (or avoid processing) martyrdom, policing, and systemic violence. The conversation critiques the idea that “violence is never the answer” as a privileged stance, explores how audiences police creators’ responses to current events, and discusses the burdens of expectation on women—especially Black and biracial women—to educate white audiences. Both speakers emphasize self-reflection, resisting performance, and finding grounded ways of dismantling oppressive systems while nurturing community, joy, and responsibility.

Connect with Rebecca at:

The White Woman Whisperer Website

The White Woman Whisperer Patreon

The White Woman Whisperer TikTok

Connect with Daniella at:

You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

For more info on me:

Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding

Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding

Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8

Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0

Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_

Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook

Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8

Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJ

Key Takeaways

The phrase “violence is never the answer” can function as a thought-terminating cliché rooted in white privilege .

White Americans often outsource violence to systems (police, military), distancing themselves from its realities .

Martyrdom is not something that can be manufactured; it emerges organically from societal conditions .

Audiences often demand moral performances from creators, expecting them to act as chaplains or moral leaders, which can be dehumanizing .

White audiences frequently correct or tone-police women of color rather than engaging with the substance of their critiques .

Social media creates pressure for instant condemnation and content production, which replicates policing behaviors .

“Stop, Drop, and Scroll” is offered as a framework for white people to pause reactive behavior online .

Deconstruction of whiteness and privilege is a long, uncomfortable process, but it creates more capacity for joy and community .

White women have a responsibility to educate themselves and each other rather than relying on Black educators for free labor .

Seeing one’s whiteness clearly is essential for accountability and breaking cycles of harm .

Chapters

00:00 The Us vs. Them Mentality
02:56 Violence and Its Perception
06:06 Understanding Martyrdom and Violence
09:02 The Role of White Women in Conversations
12:01 Critiquing Hank Green and Intersectionality
14:47 The Demand for Condemnation
17:38 Navigating Online Interactions
20:24 The Complexity of Moral Superiority
29:26 Dehumanization and Morality
35:49 The Impact of Dehumanization on Society
38:11 Reconnecting Emotions After Trauma
48:13 The Demand for Proof and Validation
53:50 The Role of White People in Addressing Racism
55:43 Navigating Conversations on Race and Responsibility
58:29 Understanding the Impact of Systemic Issues
01:01:30 The Complexity of Individualism and Collective Responsibility
01:04:20 Deconstructing Privilege and Systemic Inequities
01:07:03 The Role of White Women in Racial Conversations
01:09:52 Finding Joy in Community and Shared Experiences
01:13:04 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Accountability
01:15:53 Embracing the Journey of Awareness and Education

Produced by Haley Phillips

Key Takeaways

TOPICS