Libsyn Directory

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | ep51 | White Woman Tears

Release Date: 10/03/2025

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 64 | Respectability Rebranded

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how white womanhood functions as a powerful cultural and political identity within American systems of power. The conversation examines how whiteness, gender, and class intersect to produce both vulnerability and authority, and how white women are often positioned as both victims and enforcers within oppressive structures. Together, they unpack how safety narratives, respectability politics, and emotional performances have historically been weaponized to uphold racial hierarchies while obscuring class struggle. The episode ultimately reframes white...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 63 | Performative Relief

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella is joined by White Woman Whisperer for a wide-ranging, unflinching conversation about whiteness, community, deconstruction, and political responsibility. Using current events, historical context, and personal experience, they explore why white Americans, especially white women, struggle to form collective resistance, how cult dynamics show up in liberalism and patriotism, and why deconstruction often feels like loss before it becomes liberation. The conversation challenges performative allyship, critiques victimhood narratives, and emphasizes that real change...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Women Whisperer | 62 | Driving While White

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca explore how whiteness, cult conditioning, and authoritarian systems shape fear, behavior, and identity, using car trauma, policing, and “common sense” social scripts as entry points. Daniella connects her evangelical cult upbringing to intense driving anxiety rooted in ritualized fear of death, while Rebecca situates car anxiety within racialized policing and survival awareness. From there, the conversation expands into white privilege as the absence of danger, the dehumanization embedded in rhetorical questions, and how “anti-identity” often...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 61 | Moral Superiority Binaries

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella and Rebecca unpack the backlash following Jasmine Crockett’s announcement that she’s running for Senate, focusing on how quickly public support—especially from white women—turned into purity testing. They examine why Black women in power are routinely held to impossible moral standards, particularly around U.S. support for Israel, while white politicians are rarely scrutinized the same way. The conversation expands into how whiteness flattens complexity into good/bad binaries, how “moral superiority” becomes a performance, and how this dynamic ultimately...

Hey White Women with Knitting Cult Lady and White Woman Whisperer | 60 | De-radicalization

Hey White Women

In this episode, Rebecca and Daniella dive into how cult dynamics show up way beyond just “cults.” Daniella shares pieces of her childhood in the Children of God and how those patterns of coercion, shame, and identity erasure followed her into adulthood—including her time in the military. They compare notes on how institutions, extremist movements, and even online communities use the same tactics to control people, and why so many folks get pulled into these systems in the first place. The conversation stays honest, nuanced, and very human as they talk about deradicalization, belonging,...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 59 | In-Person Special Episode

Hey White Women

In this in-person episode, Daniella and Rebecca dive deep into racial dynamics, whiteness, group behavior, cult patterns, and the ways white women, white culture, and American norms create invisible and often unexamined hierarchies. They explore how racism shows up in everyday interactions — such as being asked to “prove” a lived experience, being demanded to provide citations, or being treated as less credible unless a white source confirms it. They move through topics including camera/lens racism, anti-Blackness in beauty and hair culture, the Puritan roots of American “purity,”...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 58 | Puritan Whiteness

Hey White Women

This episode is a wide-ranging conversation between Daniella and Rebecca about the everyday and systemic ways whiteness shapes culture, identity, and behavior. They discuss how beauty standards, camera technology, tanning culture, and even small tech features like autocapitalization reflect racial bias. A major theme is how white women often derail or center themselves in conversations about race, sometimes unintentionally, through whitesplaining or over-explaining. They explore beauty labor, the politics of hair and appearance, and how the same practices (such as time-consuming beauty...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 57 | Who's Speaking Matters

Hey White Women

This episode features a deep, nuanced conversation between Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca about whiteness, power, community, cultural disconnection, and the complicated dynamics of speaking about social issues publicly. They explore how race, gender, and perceived authority shape who is “allowed” to say what, and how society reacts differently depending on the identity of the speaker. Their discussion spans topics such as the weaponization of “niceness,” internal policing within white communities, the loss of joy in white American culture, the effects of cult-like systems,...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 56 | Enablism

Hey White Women

In this wide-ranging and incisive conversation, Daniella Mestyanek Young and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) examine how white womanhood functions within patriarchal and white supremacist systems. They discuss cultural habits like performative complaining, body-shaming as small talk, and the defense of harmful relationships as coping mechanisms inherited from historical gender norms. The two connect these behaviors to broader enablism within oppressive systems, drawing parallels between interpersonal and systemic patterns of abuse. They explore the emotional labor of deconstruction—how...

Hey White Women w/ Knitting Cult Lady & White Woman Whisperer | 55 | Weaponizing Whiteness

Hey White Women

In this episode, Daniella Mestyanek Young (Knitting Cult Lady) and Rebecca (White Woman Whisperer) unpack the process of recording the audiobook version of Daniella’s upcoming book and explore how their collaboration reflects deeper dynamics of race, privilege, and creative responsibility. They discuss rejecting the “easy” or most cost-effective route in favor of ethical decisions that honor Black voices and resist capitalist shortcuts. The conversation then broadens into weaponizing whiteness for good—how white women can leverage social privilege to confront injustice—and the...

More Episodes

This episode features Daniella (“Knitting Cult Lady”) and Rebecca (the “White Woman Whisperer”) unpacking themes of violence, privilege, whiteness, cult dynamics, and the demands placed on public figures to perform morality online. They reflect on recent events, including reactions to political violence and how white Americans process (or avoid processing) martyrdom, policing, and systemic violence. The conversation critiques the idea that “violence is never the answer” as a privileged stance, explores how audiences police creators’ responses to current events, and discusses the burdens of expectation on women—especially Black and biracial women—to educate white audiences. Both speakers emphasize self-reflection, resisting performance, and finding grounded ways of dismantling oppressive systems while nurturing community, joy, and responsibility.

Connect with Rebecca at:

The White Woman Whisperer Website

The White Woman Whisperer Patreon

The White Woman Whisperer TikTok

Connect with Daniella at:

You can read all about that story in my book, Uncultured-- buy signed copies here. https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

For more info on me:

Patreon: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding

Cult book Clubs (Advanced AND Memoirs) Annual Membership: https://bit.ly/YTPLanding

Get an autographed copy of my book, Uncultured: https://bit.ly/SignedUncultured

Get my book, Uncultured, from Bookshop.org: https://bit.ly/4g1Ufw8

Daniella’s Tiktok: https://bit.ly/4bwvNC0

Instagram: https://bit.ly/4ePAOFK / daniellamyoung_

Unamerican video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/YTVideoBook

Secret Practice video book (on Patreon): https://bit.ly/3ZswGY8

Fundraiser for Culting of America book publishing https://tr.ee/fldwYRFTJ

Key Takeaways

The phrase “violence is never the answer” can function as a thought-terminating cliché rooted in white privilege .

White Americans often outsource violence to systems (police, military), distancing themselves from its realities .

Martyrdom is not something that can be manufactured; it emerges organically from societal conditions .

Audiences often demand moral performances from creators, expecting them to act as chaplains or moral leaders, which can be dehumanizing .

White audiences frequently correct or tone-police women of color rather than engaging with the substance of their critiques .

Social media creates pressure for instant condemnation and content production, which replicates policing behaviors .

“Stop, Drop, and Scroll” is offered as a framework for white people to pause reactive behavior online .

Deconstruction of whiteness and privilege is a long, uncomfortable process, but it creates more capacity for joy and community .

White women have a responsibility to educate themselves and each other rather than relying on Black educators for free labor .

Seeing one’s whiteness clearly is essential for accountability and breaking cycles of harm .

Chapters

00:00 The Us vs. Them Mentality
02:56 Violence and Its Perception
06:06 Understanding Martyrdom and Violence
09:02 The Role of White Women in Conversations
12:01 Critiquing Hank Green and Intersectionality
14:47 The Demand for Condemnation
17:38 Navigating Online Interactions
20:24 The Complexity of Moral Superiority
29:26 Dehumanization and Morality
35:49 The Impact of Dehumanization on Society
38:11 Reconnecting Emotions After Trauma
48:13 The Demand for Proof and Validation
53:50 The Role of White People in Addressing Racism
55:43 Navigating Conversations on Race and Responsibility
58:29 Understanding the Impact of Systemic Issues
01:01:30 The Complexity of Individualism and Collective Responsibility
01:04:20 Deconstructing Privilege and Systemic Inequities
01:07:03 The Role of White Women in Racial Conversations
01:09:52 Finding Joy in Community and Shared Experiences
01:13:04 The Importance of Self-Reflection and Accountability
01:15:53 Embracing the Journey of Awareness and Education

Produced by Haley Phillips

Key Takeaways

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